forum Marvel AU OxO?

Started November 29, 2019 by @ElderGod-Icefire

tune

Tony let out a faint laugh. "Yeah, alright. Try to convince him to see a therapist? That's all I know, man." He headed for the door.

"But…how?" Steve quietly voiced, sighing heavily as he followed Tony back to the living room. That's what I've been trying to do. Will he hate me if I keep asking?

"I don't know." Tony said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry." he ran his hands through his hair as they entered the living rom. "Now let's eat, I'm starving."

"Yeah. Shawarma sounds real nice right about now," Steve said, easing his worried expression at the sight of Bucky.

Bucky was waiting for them, his arms loosely crossed over his chest. The supersoldier was quiet, merely greeting them with a faint nod.

Tony got out some plates and served up the food, sliding a plate over to Bucky and setting Steve's down on the counter.

"Hmm, thanks," Steve said, smiling softly as he took a seat at the counter. He picked up his wrap and took a bite, bringing him back to the time after the battle of New York.

Tony nodded. "You're welcome." He replied, before taking a big bite of his own food.

Bucky cautiously took a bite of his food, quiet as he watched Steve and Tony. The brunette male didn't quite know what to say.

"Hm– Tony, is this from the same place we went to?" Steve asked, figuring he should attempt at some small talk. "It's nice"

Tony nodded, swallowing his food. "Mhm!" He replied, clearing his throat softly. "Yeah, it is. It's their claim to fame now." He chuckled softly.

Bucky didn't say anything. He didn't really know what they were talking about, and he didn't want to intrude on their conversation.

"That's good," Steve nodded with a short laugh, smiling as he turned to Bucky. "After all the shenanigans with Loki and company, we all went out for shawarma, still in our suits and the owners– they were still sweeping up glass. I was just about ready to collapse."

Bucky nodded slightly in understanding. He vaguely knew what had happened with Loki, so he didn't need to ask. "Ah. Right." He replied slowly, taking another bite of his food.

Steve took another bite, casually thinking back to the damage that was dealt throughout the city, as if New York wasn't chaotic enough. "Hmph, at least that's over."

Bucky shrugged. "Right. And then there was me, and all the shit that happened because of that." He replied, eyes fixed on his food.

"Bucky," Steve said, looking at him with a tired expression, "HYDRA was the one causing trouble. It wasn't you."

Bucky shrugged. "Same thing." He replied, taking another bite of food, not looking at Steve.

"But you're not HYDRA," Steve muttered, turning back to his meal. There was no point arguing about it now; he would only reply with the same self-condemning words.

"Yes I am." Bucky retorted, glancing at Steve for a moment, then away again. He took another bite of food, shaking his head slightly.

"No, you're not." Steve said, not facing him and going against his decision to having this discussion again.

"Yes, I am." Bucky replied stubbornly, shaking his head slightly. He knew that Steve thought he wasn't, but…but Bucky had been the extension of HYDRA's will for decades.

Steve looked at Tony, thanks for backing me up. He turned to Bucky, "You aren't a nazi. You aren't a terrorist. You aren't bent on world domination. You don't wanna hurt people. You still think you're HYDRA?" Steve shrugged, knowing he was being equally as stubborn and impatient.

"I did everything they wanted me to." Bucky replied. "I killed people, I hurt people. I may not be a nazi or terrorist or whatever, but I still made it possible for them to do a lot of horrible things."

Tony shrugged helplessly in response to Steve's look.

"But they made you do those things," Steve sighed, saying the words for what felt like the hundredth time, "You didn't want to. It's not your fault."

"But the fact remains that I did them." Bucky replied. "It wasn't someone else, it was me." he looked down at his food again.

Be patient, his mind told him. "I'm tired of having this conversation," Steve admitted, finishing his meal and pushing the plate away. "I'm tired because it hurts to hear you try to condemn yourself for something you had no control over. It hurts me, Bucky– to hear you trying to take the blame for this."

Bucky bit his lip slightly, and shrugged. "Sorry. I just…" he trailed off. Even he didn't know why he kept trying to take the blame. "Sorry." he said again, looking away.