(All good!)
Elowan stripped off her dress, picking up the bottle of lavender oil for Crystal and a small basket of rose petals for herself. She left the dress crumpled on the floor and walked over to the pool, careful to keep only her front facing Crystal. As much as she wanted to horrify the girl, she was… self-conscious. She knew most members of the nobility didn't have thick white cords of scar tissue running down their backs.
She slowly knelt down, letting the lavender oil dribble out into the bath and then tossing n a few handfuls of her rose petals. They sank into the water like blood drops. She pulled the makeshift bandages off her hands and sunk them quickly into the bath, wincing when the blazing water stung her cuts. She let out a hissing breath and kept them under the water until the pain receded.
Crystal watched, fumbling with the end of her towel. Once she watched the other sink into the water, she hesitated. Slowly, she walked to the opposite end of the pool and slowly stepped into the warm water, making sure to keep her distance, since her new wife obviously hated her. She takes a deep and relaxed breath, smiling a little at the other before looking down into the water, her slender hands settling at her sides.
After a few seconds, Elowan slid her whole body into the water. She placed a hand over her breasts, wishing she had thought to bring in a towel but too lazy to leave the water and grab it. There were overly fancy soap and shampoos sitting on the sill of the bath. She grabbed a bar of soap and lathered it up in her hands, carefully rubbing it over her shoulders.
The silence was kind of stifling but she didn't want to talk. Even though she had gotten out most of her anger, she still resented the marriage and by extension, her wife. She stiffly gestured towards the soaps, as if to say 'take one if you need it' and then actually said "We have 25 minutes in here. Savor it."
She kept her gaze on the water, her hand catching a petal. She runs her thumb over the velvet like petal. She looks up when the other spoke and nods, taking a deep breath. Crystal slowly took a shampoo into her hands, some sort of tropical smell to the pomegranate colored liquid. Slowly she wets her hair, washing it and her body. Her hands were still slightly shaking. She could still sense the seething anger of her wife, so she stayed quiet, not wanting to anger her.
After washing everything she could cover, Elowan reached for her back with a frown. There was a bruise on her shoulder that kept her from reaching all the way back, so with an annoyed groan, she turned to her wife. She may as well get used to another person touching her. They were going to consummate the marriage in, oh, 20 minutes or so.
"Wash my back," She demanded, softening the order with a questioning "Please?" She held the soap out with what she hoped was a placating look on her face. She probably didn't look too gentle. Her father had told her once when she was far younger, that she was carved from stone.
He had followed up with, "You'd make a good soldier, if only you weren't a girl". She found herself wishing more than ever that she weren't a girl. If she were a boy, she would probably be a general by now. She wouldn't be stuck in this fucking marriage with a wife who was scared of her, about to move to a country she'd never stepped foot in.
Crystal looked up before blinking a few times. Slowly, she takes the soap and smiles a little, nodding. She takes a deep breath before slowly trailing her hands along Elowan's back. She didn't mind the scars, or bruises. In fact, they saddened her. She carefully washes her wifes back, not wanting to anger the other at all. Once done she asks softly. "C-could you help me as well?" She whispers. She knew Elowan would see the diagonal scar running down her back, the one she got from her first battle, but she didn't mind.
Elowan snatched away the soap, uneasy with the gentle car she had been shown. Her scars were revolting. They had made men and women alike run from her bed with disgust. Crystal seemed sad. Wistful. It was strange. Was her wife trying to get on her good side? Was this some odd attempt at friendship? Elowan disregarded it entirely, trying to ignore the whole incident.
"Turn around," Elowan said, voice a bit rougher than she intended. She could handle pain just fine but apparently, when it came to kindness, she was blown away. She pushed those thoughts out of her head too, lathering up the soap in her hands.
She nods and slowly turns around. Scars littered her fair skin, but her body wasn't tense. She was proud of these scars. The scars she had received for fighting in battles. Medals meant nothing to her. She could steal those and say she had done something. But scars? Scars were the real deal. She hums softly under her breath, allowing Elowan to do as she pleased. She takes a deep breath, trying to relax. She would be returning home soon.
(Gtg, dinner. I'll be back in half an hour or so)
Elowan scrubbed soap over Crystal's back in halting motions, stopping to gently trace each and every scar. She lingered on the long one down her back, trying to imagine the kind of damage required to leave such a large mark. Elowan was a bit jealous. These were scars born from battle. Whispers of past deeds and medals of bravery. Her own scars were the marks of imperfection, given to her because of all the traits she lacked.
When she was finished, she pulled away from Crystal, crossing to the other side of the pool to get as much distance as possible. She didn't know what had come over her, but she could not afford to show openness here. Who knew how her wife would use it? Vulnerability was only good for getting yourself hurt, a lesson Elowan had learned many times over. A lesson she didn't want to learn again.
Crystal had seemed to ease under Elowans touch. She sighed quietly, smiling a little. She let herself relax, to become open to the other. She wanted Elowan to at least accept her a little. When Elowan had finished she slowly sat down in the pool again, letting herself relax. She could never understand the pain Elowan had been through, but she wanted the other to at least realize Crystal wasn't going to hurt her. She shuts her eyes, allowing herself to be open and warm.
Elowan shampooed her hair quickly, taking a huge breath before she dunked her head under the water. Her hair floated around her like a glossy red cloud until she shot out of the water with a gasp. Beads of water dripped down her face as she threw her hair behind her in one swift motion. She quickly checked a clock only to discover they had 5 more minutes in the bathhouse.
She let herself linger in the water for half a minute longer before she dragged herself out, grabbing one of the plush towels and ringing out her hair. Once she was sufficiently dry, she wrapped the towel around herself, covering her scars. "We leave soon. Dry off." She tossed Crystal a towel and waited on the bench beside the door.
Any second now a servant would come in, hand them their nightdresses, and lead them to the bedroom. She wasn't looking forward to it.
Crystal took the towel, sliding out of the water. The clear droplets dropped down her body, but we're soon stopped in their tracks as she wrapped the towel around her body. She takes a deep breath and relaxes, taking a brush and slowly running it through her hair. She then looks towards Elowan before looking down. She was nervous. She wasn't sure what she should do. She was scared. She just stood there, waiting for the servant to fetch them.
Crystal didn't have to wait long. Soon the same slave who had led them to the bathroom quietly entered, bowing respectfully to both of them and keeping his head bowed as he handed each girl small, silken nightgowns. Each was red, to symbolize the passion they would share, covered in white and black lace. White and black represented purity and fertility. Elowan felt like barfing and adding some green to the mix.
She didn't want to lay with someone she didn't like. She didn't want to lay with anyone right now. She dropped her towel, carefully sliding into the dress. It fell a few inches above her mid-thigh, fabric clinging to her skin. She hated it. She wanted to grab a towel and cover herself. She wanted to rip it to shreds and run away. Instead, she simply stood, waiting to be led to the slaughter.
Crystal slowly took the robe, seeing the silk made her sadden. It was a beautiful design, yes. But the meaning behind the robe. She felt hope crumble in her chest, and she shuts her eyes. She takes a slow, deep breath and tried to relax. She let's the towel slip from her body, before slipping on the robe. She didn't like the feel of the silk against her still moist skin. While she looked breathtakingly stunning, she did not feel that way.
She allows herself to follow the servant quietly, not daring to speak. She didn't want to do this. To sleep with someone she did not love. Every step filled her body with dread, but she followed anyways, not wanting to appear hesitant or weak.
Elowan followed her wife. They were led to a small but finely decorated room and left alone. Most of the space was taken up by a large bed, covered in golden sheets. There were no pillows or blankets. This place suffered nothing that would distract from its intended purpose. Elowan pressed herself into a corner. Her skin crawled in revulsion.
She did not want this. She could not want this. She pulled at the hem of her dress, desperately trying to make it cover more skin. This was stupid. She needed to stop being a baby and get this over with. It was better she consummate her marriage in the comfort of her own country instead of on some foreign bed in a place she didn't know.
Crystal looked around the room, biting her lip. She watched as the servant shut the door and left. She takes a deep breath, sitting on the bed, but not moving. She stared at her hands, not willing to look up. She felt ready to cry but she didn't. She did not want to appear weak in her wife's eyes. While Crystal was a strong woman, she didn't dare fight the person she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with. Her fingers tap on her leg, wishing the nighgown was longer. Covered more skin.
Elowan sat down quietly on the bed with a grimace. She could do this. It was nothing but sex. Cold, impassionate sex. It meant nothing. She laid herself down, setting her head down onto her arms and trying to relax. This would all be over soon if she just relaxed. She would be the one taking everything, of course. Her wife had all the power here. "Get it over with," She growled, more to the mattress than to Crystal.
Crystal didn't move. Only stared into her lap. She didn't want this. She was to scared. She didn't want to "make love" to someone who didn't love her and who obviously didn't want anything to do with her body. So she sat there, keeping her gaze to the floor. She doesn't make any movement. One would honestly think she was made of stone considering how still she was.
Elowan flipped over, anger evident in every pore of her face. "Oh for fuck's sake!" She began, shoving herself up into Crystal's personal space. Her hair was mussed and a scowl was carving itself into her face and she didn't care. Why couldn't Crystal get it? This was going to happen, be it in weeks, months or years. They may as well get it over with as soon as possible. "Just do me already! What's wrong!? Are you scared!?" She sneered, repressing her fear and hysteria and every bad feeling she had about this situation.
Crystal fell back onto the bed, her eyes wide with terror before she broke. She sobbed. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she curled her fingers into the sheets, not willing to look up at the other. She crossed her legs, not willing to open them. "Why would I do that to you when you don't want it?" She whispers. She didn't want to do anyone. She just wanted to go home and be with her sick mother. She just wanted her brother to be alive so she didn't have to fear this. She didn't want any of it. She was scared. She was terrified. "If you don't want it, I'm not going to force it on you." She hiccuped quietly. "You don't want anything to do with me and that's fine."
Hysteria burbled out of Elowan in the form of an unhinged laugh. Crystal really didn't get it, did she? "I'm going to have to sleep with you at some point! Why not do it here!?" She pushed herself even further into Crystal's personal space, practically sitting in the other woman's lap.
She traced over a well-worn list of faults in her head, trying to figure out which one was holding Crystal back. Was she not pretty enough? Too covered in scars? Too muscley or gruff or angry? Too unwilling? Yes, that had to be it. If she were to get this over with, she would need to appear willing. She could do that. It would sicken her, but she could do it.
"Would you feel better if I said I wanted it? Would you do me then?" She schooled her expression into a vapid smile. She still looked savage, but at least now she didn't look like she was considering murder.
Crystal cried harder before she shoved the woman off, backing into the wall. She shuddered and shook with fear and sorrow. It wasn't that the other wasn't pretty enough, or the scars. She genuinely didn't want this. She didn't want to force something that was thought of sacred in her home to be forced upon someone she was never going to be accepted by. That thought made her shake harder. She was never going to be loved by the other woman and that tore her to pieces. She wanted desperately to be in love with her partner. "You don't have to sleep with me. I don't care about sex! I only want you to be happy. Even if it means you're in this marriage for a week, not even that! If you want to leave I'm not going to stop you because you will never love me and I've accepted that. So just… Do what you wish. You can walk out that door or you can take me. It's your choice." She whispers.
