Elowan was placed in front of a mirror so she could see herself, and she hated how lovely she looked. Her bronze skin was practically glowing against the smooth satin of her wedding gown. Her wine red hair was pulled back in an elegant bun, two long, curling strands lay flat against her collarbones. She was as beautiful as she'd ever been in her life and she hated it.
She wanted to rip off the dress and punch a maid and run out of the balance and never come back. She had just started to reach for one of the hairpins laying on the counter- it would make a suitable weapon- when her father walked in. He eyed her up and down, giving her a jovial smile when he decided she had met his standards.
"My beautiful girl," He said, voice tinged in pride. Elowan wanted to stab him with the pin, but she carefully clenched her hands into fists. No point in angering her father. "The ceremony will be starting soon. You're going to be waiting for her to be walked up the aisle." She nodded stiffly, letting him walk her up to the altar and pulling her veil over her face. She stood there, waiting to receive her wife to be.
She stared at herself when all was said and done. She was in a gorgeous wedding gown, it was pure white, covered in beautiful flower prints. When she moved, it would shimmer in the light. It was long, trailing after her, her veil swooping over the dress. She sighed softly and looked down.
Crystal would walk alone to the alter. Her father had passed away recently, her mother was bed ridden and didn't seem to be getting better no matter what the doctors did to save their precious queen. She was handed the beautiful bouquet of flowers, roses, lilies, violets, all sorts of the sweet smelling flowers and lead down towards where the ceremony would take place.
She waited for the doors to open with a flourish. With her face veiled, she slowly walked down the aisle, alone, and feeling more and more depressed about her situation. She was getting married to a woman who loathed her, a woman who did not want her. She had dreamed of walking up the aisle and met with a person who would cherish and love her, and yet… here she was, being forced to marry a woman she did not love. She halts beside the other, taking a trembling breath.
Elowan hated the way she admired Crystal. She hated how she thought the woman was beautiful even though she was the thing stealing her freedom. Even though she was the rock Elowan would be chained for until the end of her life. When Crystal finally reached the end of the aisle and took her place beside Elowan, the priest began to speak.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage between…" And that was all Elowan heard before the ringing in her ears grew too loud for her to hear anything else. She only snapped out of it when the priest made a sudden gesture. He looked at her expectantly, so taking a guess that's he'd asked 'do you take this woman to be your wife' she nodded. "I do."
And that was it. She was chained. Shackled. Stuck. Her freedom was gone, all because of those simple two words.
She had her head bowed. The other beside her was gorgeous, she had to admit. She felt like she was shadowed by the other beside her. She could barely understand the words the priest was saying until he motioned to her. She starts, taking a deep breath before saying softly, 'I do.' Her freedom was gone with those two simple words. She takes a trembling breath, trying to keep from crying. She was not excited, nor happy, nor anything really. She felt numb, and like a river was trying to escape through her eyes.
The priest nodded solemnly. "Unveil your partner," Her ordered, voice still monotonous. Elowan took in a deep breath, smoothing her skirt to calm herself. It didn't work. She reached out and slowly, ever so slowly, raised Crystal's veil. She let out a gasp when she saw her wife's face. She was lovely. Unfairly, perfectly lovely. She wanted to punch her in her perfect face and run away.
Instead, she muttered the words every person in the kingdom knew. The traditional vows of a queen. "Crystal Helene Bowcatcher, I give myself to you." She spat out the words like they were poison, hoping the crowd would take her tone as nerves and not hatred. "In the name and spirits of the gods around me, I pledge that in sickness and health, I shall be yours. I promise to protect you, to share with you my wealth and sorrows. I give you my kingdom, and beg that you accept it."
The words felt like fire on her tongue, but she finished them. They hovered in the air like a thousand wasps, each and every one waiting quietly to sting.
She lets herself be unvieled, her breath shaking, her heart racing as she looks at Elowan. She smiles a little before seeing the loathing in the others eyes, making her gaze turn to the floor. She bites her lip, taking a deep breath as she brushes some navy blue hair from her face, trying her hardest not to cry. Why was it that Elowan hated her?
Slowly, she repeats the line she is supposed to say, her voice trembling as she tried her hardest not to cry. She takes a slow and gentle breath, wincing when she indeed could hear the venom and hatred in her future wife's voice. She just wanted this ceremony to be over with. She takes a trembling breath, trying so hard not to cry. She would never be loved by her future company.
She lets those words hang there, and it was done. She was no longer free, no longer allowed to be the person she wanted to be. And she was marrying a person who hated her.
The priest nodded solemnly, clasping his hands and staring between Elowan and Crystal's head. "As it is said, it shall be done. Let this wedding be ended in joy. You may now kiss the bride." He nodded towards them, face expressionless. He had no idea what was going on.
Elowan leaned forward, placing her hands on Crystals shoulders perhaps a bit too heavily. Elowan couldn't bring herself to care. She leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto Crystal's lips and then pulling away as if the woman had burnt her. They were to consummate the marriage in a few hours and Elowan was already hating the way her skin felt against Crystal's. She couldn't do this.
Crystal's breath hitched when her eyes go towards Elowans beautiful eyes. Those eyes. The eyes that had captivated her from afar. She had to admit the other was stunningly and breathtakingly beautiful. He had no idea what torture she was going through as she stared at the woman in front of her.
When Elowan leaned forward, her breath hitched. As much as she didn't want to enjoy the fast and chaste kiss, she did any ways. That fact pained her because the woman in front of her pulled away, a look of what seemed to be angered emotions ran through her orbs. Crystal wanted to cry. She fe;t shunned by her newly wed wife, and unwanted, which she probably was. Where Elowan had touched her it felt as if she was being burned by the others fury.
The priest joined their hands and led them off to a separate room where they were supposed to have their first conversation after the marriage. They would stay in here for half an hour, then move to the baths, and then consummate the marriage. The only solace Elowan could find was that she wouldn't lose her virginity to this woman, a fact her parents would surely punish her for if they knew.
"Hello, Wife," Elowan hissed, sitting down on one of the plush couches scattered throughout the room. "Are you happy? Are you excited?" Her voice was absolutely dripping with poison now that there was no audience to watch them. Her dreams were dead now. All she could do was pass pain onto her wife.
(I'm sorry Crystal, Elowan's kind of sucky right now)
She let her hand hang loosely in her wife's hand, her eyes shut as she tried to breathe. She couldn't. She couldn't breathe past the lump in her throat. She was afraid that the other would hear the breaking of her heart. Her first love and her love hated her. She didn't want this. She didn't want to be there. She hung her head in shame, biting her lip, trying not to cry. Maybe she could live with this. Maybe. Altough, she doubted she could.
Once they were alone, she settled down in a chair, her slender hands folded across her lap neatly. The vemon in her newly weds voice made her shrink and a silent tear flowed down her cheek. "Why do you hate me?" Where her first words. She didn't understand. She had never done anything against Elowan and the female hated her. She couldn't understand what made the female loathe her. She rubs her arms, looking away. "I never did anything and yet you despise me. What did I do?" Her voice cracks, another tear falling. She didn't understand.
Elowan snarled. The twinge of pity she felt at Crystal's tears was drowned by a tide of unrelenting rage. "You are the end of everything I've ever wanted! You are all of my dreams being carefully shredded! My home being torn out of my hands!" She shouted. Princesses were little more than gifts in her country. Objects to be traded so alliances could be solidified. She was becoming a glorified trophy wife. Hell, she was the wife now. Bye-bye ambition, hello years of being trapped.
She jumped to her feet, screaming as she kicked over the sofa. All she'd ever wanted to do was fight. She yearned to tear and burn and break, and now she would be sealed away in a kingdom she'd never stepped foot in. She was born to be a soldier, not a noble.
"Don't you fucking get it? I'm being given to you like a present! I'm trapped with you. You are my god damned ball and chain! How can I love my own personal hell!?"
She felt her heart break. Any hope of love was diminished as she sat there, watching the other rage with tear filled eyes and a hurting heart. She wasn't the only one, seeing their dreams be crushed, their hopes shredded, their heart torn to pieces. She could only go home because of her duty. In her land, women were treated with the highest respect, almost more than the men were. She doubted that her newly wed would even try to listen to her. So she stayed silent as the other throws her fit of rage. Her head was bowed, her eyes down. Tears flowed freely from her eyes. She was more of a balanced mixed between a lover and a fighter, and seeing this made her loving side want to hide. She hated that she was not loved. Crystal stifles a sob with her hand. She didn't want this either. but she was doing this for her people. She was married to a woman who didn't want her. Who didn't want anything to do with her. She bites her lip. "I'm sorry I can't make you happy." She whispers, her voice broken and torn. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you." Tears flow from her shut eyes, her indigo orbs hidden from the world.
Elowan kicked over the chair Crystal wasn't sitting in, stomping it into pieces with her stupid high heels. She punched the wall, over and over until her hands were bleeding. She'd always felt better with blood on her hands. She didn't feel much better now.
"Shut up. Shut up!" She yelled, leaning her head against the wall. "Just shut up and leave me alone!" She kept her hands off her dress. There was no way her parents would let her ruin her dress without punishment. She wondered if Crystal would hate the scars down her back as much as she did. She wondered if they would disgust Crystal. She hoped they would.
She sobs into her hand. She was beyond terrified. She didn't dare move in fear of getting hurt. She was so scared. Crystal silently cried, not willing to say anything as the other bloodied her fists, yelling and screaming. She didn't know what to do. What to say. Should she move? Should she stay put? Her mind was racing a million miles per second, her eyes shut as she trembled with fear. She cried out slightly when she felt a piece of something hit her side and arm. She shuts her eyes, not willing to look around the destroyed room. She just kept her gaze to the floor, her eyes tightly shut.
She sank to the floor, ripping pins from her hair until it fell down her back in a curly wave. Her knuckles bleed freely onto the floor. Her parents were going to kill her. At least, if her wife didn't do it first. She'd prefer it to be her parents. It wouldn't be quick, but at least she knew them.
And because she knew them, she knew they would leave her to her new wife. At least she could gain some power with Crystal, if only through intimidation. Maybe she could stave off some beatings with enough screaming fits and tantrums. Maybe she could be free for once in her life if she bullied her wife into submission. She choked back a sob then.
Would she really resort to becoming her parents just to get some measure of power? Would she fall so low? She looked at Crystal, without all the prejudices against her. Just looked at her as a person and saw a scared girl who thought she would be hurt by the woman raging beside her. She choked back a sob, slamming her head into the wall with a muffled thump.
Crystal saw her, saw her pain, her rage, her anger. She knew she didn't have a chance but she would have to try at least. Slowly, she kneels down in front of the other, her trembling hands taking Elowan's bloodied hands gently into her own. "Are you okay…?" She whispers, the concern evident in her eyes, in her voice, in he movements. With a tearing sound she had ripped some fabric from her wedding dress, underneath so the outside appeared normal. She gently dabs at her hands, clearing away the blood. She takes a shuddering breath, her eyes focused only on the blood and the cloth.
Elowan winced when Crystal ripped the fabric of her dress. If Elowan dared to do that, she wouldn't be able to walk for days. She wondered what it would be like to live without that kind of threat hanging over her head and then discarded the fantasy when Crystal began dabbing her knuckles. She pulled her hand away with a snarl.
"Don't you touch me!" She snarled, yanking her hand up and out of Crystal's grip. She winced when she realized what she'd done. She was only scaring her wife even more. She mumbled a quiet apology, hesitantly setting her hands back in Crystals grip. There was less of a chance that she'd bleed on her dress if her knuckles were bandaged.
Crystal winces away when she yelled, taking a deep breath before looking down in surprise as Elowan placed her hands back in her grip. She looks at the female and smiles shakily before looking back down at her hand, gently dabbing away the blood. Slowly she wrapped it along her knuckles, pressing soft kisses to each knuckle. Her lips were soft and gentle. She slowly pulls away, offering a tiny smile.
When Crystal kissed her knuckles, Elowan stiffened. The kisses were gentle. Kind. Her skin crawled in revulsion at the touch. She set them in her lap, feeling empty. She couldn't hate Crystal. She couldn't love her either. She couldn't do much of anything. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes and she couldn't even stop them.
Without hate, she had nothing. If she couldn't hate her wife, then she was stuck in a marriage as a trophy with no real footing. It would be so much easier to hate and rage than to accept. The tears spilled down her face freely. "Just don't touch me," she whimpered, sliding a freshly bandaged hand over her face as if to hide it. "Just don't fucking touch me."
Crystal pulled away, her indigo eyes filled with concern. She could see revulsion in Elowan's eyes. She bites her lip and pulls her hands away. She felt her heart ripping in two. Is that what was going to happen to her this entire relationship? Feeling a bit better before her wife tore her down again? She saw the tears and she became confused.
When the other spoke, her heart broke. She stood and dusted herself off, her eyes broken and the hurt was obvious as it radiated off the small female. She takes a deep breath before looking down at the other before slowly starting to clean up the disaster they called a room. Her hands trembled, her lips quivered. Her eyes filled and emptied before refilling with tears. She gulps back broken sobs, not willing to cry any more.
Elowan took in a shaky breath, wincing when she heard someone knock on the door. "We'll be out in a second!" She called, pleased that her voice was clear and there was no evidence of her sorrow in her voice. She rose to her feet, grabbing Crystal harshly by the arm and pulling her close to the door. She then knelt before her wife and fixed her skirts so they showed no evidence that they had been torn.
A few seconds later she rose to her feet. "We're going to the baths now. Pretend you weren't crying." Her tone was far gruffer that it had any right to be. She kept her hands clasped behind her back so the servant wouldn't see. All Crystal needed to do was follow said servant out the door and into the bathhouse. The bathhouse where Crystal would see her scars. That would go over well. At least Crystal wouldn't touch her again.
When Crystal heard the knock she froze before wiping away her tears. She yelps with both surprise and pain when her arm is grabbed harshly by her wife. Her eyes are pain filled and terrified as she watched Elowan fix her dress.
She didn't want to go to the baths. She didn't want to go anywhere. She just wanted to find somewhere quiet and cry. She didn't want to be in this situation. She knew the relationship wasn't going to end well. She was going to become an emotional wreck. A train that had been unrailed from it's origional path and was sitting there on the side of the road. She wipes away her tears obediently, nervous that she was going to be punished.
Elowan winced when Crystal yelped in pain. What was she made of, glass? Elowan had never met a woman so fragile. The servant cleared his throat from outside the door and Elowan pushed it open from behind Crystal, pushing her bride forward and closing the door before he could catch a glimpse of destruction inside.
The servant led them dutifully to the bathhouse, unquestioning of the downtrodden look in Elowan's eye. He left them in the changing room, pointing out the bottles of scented oils and the bell where they could ring for servants if they needed them. Elowan dismissed him with a curt nod.
Once he was gone, she let out a sigh of relief. The changing room where they found themselves was warm, which meant the bath would be heated. That was good. Heated baths were good for bruises. "Would you like any scented oils?" Elowan asked, unbuttoning the cuffs of her sleeves in a practiced manor. Although she hated putting on dresses she was quite skilled at taking them off.
(I LIVE!!! Sorry, I fell asleep.)
Crystal was somewhat fragile, but it was only because of her somewhat malnourished state and her wife had grabbed a bruise from when she fell off her horse during training. Crystal starts when she's pushed out into the hallway and takes a deep breath and hums softly as she looks around and follows after the servant.
She had already shed her dress and was wrapped in a towel when the other spoke to her. She looks up and offers a faint smile. "L-lavender, please…" She says softly. She takes a deep breath before looking at the warm water. Being near or in water always soothed her nerves. She hums softly looking at the water before slowly dipping a hand in and sighing quietly as she does so.
