forum A Thing You Won't Remember

Started September 18, 2022 by @ElderGod-yellowqueen

tune

Elia looked down at the man sleeping on the floor. Her heart went out for him. No one deserved to be pushed so far, especially not by their own father. She crossed her legs and placed her hands in her lap. Her own scratches still needed tending to, if only to clean and apply to salve but she had made no move to do so. Part of her wanted to keep them as a reminder. Sometimes she liked the pain of it, reminded her of who she was and what she had been through.
"There are too many children here for the prince to continue on this crusade. It will only get harder to protect them. We need to take them wherever you two have planned for them to go. Whether you send them with the army and prince continues…whatever it is he is doing. But I think it would be better for him to return. It won't take long before word gets spread of what he's doing. It's going to get dangerous quickly. It might be best to retreat and recuperate. You can formulate a better plan, and send out riders and spies to check on the villages you still need to visit. That way you're not going in blind."
She rolled her eyes at his question. "Don't even start. If you think I'm not going to have conditions you don't know me very well."

Lear noticed the scratches still untended on her arms and stood for a moment, going for a clean rag. He came back with it and another small jar of a different salve. "Can I help you with those?" He didn't reach for her without her permission, aware she was probably a little on edge after earlier.
He listened to her thoughts and shook his head slightly. "He usually returns after about 3 towns, but we generally don't pick up 30 kids in one place." He frowned. "This was especially bad." He ran a hand through his hair. "He's been doing this for 10 years, and has somehow managed to make it look like he's just been buying out brothels and pleasure houses the whole time. It's always been dangerous, and this certainly isn't the first time he's been injured on a trip, but… this one may be too big to contain." He looked at her. "That's my job, tomorrow, is containment."
He watched Romulus sleeping for a moment. "I've suggested spies to him before, and we did it once, but the flesh smugglers in the particular town figured out what was coming and fled, and Romulus has never signaled his intent ever again. We lost those poor people, and we have no idea if they lived or died or anything." His eyes ran over the bandages all over his Prince. "I don't like going in blind either, but… he finds it easier to get things done if he at least vaguely has the element of surprise on his side."
He looked back up at Elia, still offering to clean her wounds by his stance. "I don't know you very well, but yes, I expected conditions. Just surprised you're actually thinking of accepting." He leaned forward. "Lay them on me. What would you want?"

Elia nodded and held out her arms to him. She didn't understand why he wanted to help her but she decided not to speak her concerns.
"Then you need better spies. The whole point to them is stealth. No one is supposed to know who they are. If they got caught so easily, they weren't doing a good job. Sometimes it's better to put your own people in there but have ever considered using a local as one? If they're loyal and you're able to convince them for the better good, they could prove helpful. They would know the city and its people better than any spy you place there. And don't think you have to stick to a grown adult. Women and children can make excellent little birds if you play your cards right." She grimaced a bit as the salve stung her arms. She flexed her hand in response to the pain but made no other indicator.
"I want land far enough away from the palace. Maybe something in the countryside, someplace to relax. I will personally select my staff and I want a personal guard. Again, to be chosen by me. A new wardrobe will come out of the prince's pockets, not mine. I don't have anything suitable for a noble life. He will also pay for any initial interior decorating I decide to do. I don't know what name you would like me to inherit but I will decide my own backstory and you will keep to that. No one can know where I came from. And you will never, ever ask for my identity again."

Lear was as gentle with her as he could be, knowing the salve would sting no matter how careful he was. Once he'd got the first layer on, he went back over it with the second salve, just a little bit of it. "That'll keep those from scarring badly."
He nodded at her words. "The spies we employed did botch that operation, and Romulus has never been willing to risk it again to try new ones. I had thought about locals, but by the time we can get into town and find a loyal local who would fit the bill, we may as well just do it ourselves. We do get their help, how do you think we knew to look for Madame Rosette?" He began bandaging the scratches carefully. "And Romulus was never excited about the idea of sending children and women into brothels or other places where they might end up needing rescued themselves."
He nodded as she laid out her requirements. "The Prince was planning on paying for everything, clothes, design, furniture, your staff, all of it. Your staff and guards will be yours to pick, as long as there's no reason they shouldn't be there. No convicts and the like." He glanced at her, looking a bit quizzical. "You will of course have several personal guards, as nobles do. We weren't planning on telling anyone where you came from if you didn't, and if the Prince has asked your identity and you've said no, that's that. He only asks in case you'd like your family's lands back, but otherwise, you're free to be whoever you like."
His frown deepened as he finished bandaging and thought about what she was saying. "Anything else? None of that is new, it was included in the original offer, but you'd said no repeatedly to it."

"Well, we were the only brothel in town. I wouldn't think it would be that hard to know where to look." Elia quirked up an eyebrow, an amused smirk on her face. "But I suppose it's up to how much you're willing to risk. No matter what, I do suggest you return home and figure out what to do with all of the kids. It wouldn't be wise to continue with this many kids. They're too vulnerable. And young children aren't always the best at listening. It would be best to get them to their homes as quickly as possible and into therapy. They're going to need it."
She tapped her fingers against her thigh. "I want a seat on his council. I'll be his advisor and his spy at court. You'd be surprised where your enemies can hide." She truly wanted to die if she was requesting to go to the palace and serve as an advisor. She might as well be holding a sign that says kill me. "And I want his oath that he will protect me from harm, any harm."

Lear nodded. "True, but there was a recent kidnapping that needed attending to. Notice any of those nights the Prince came in with wounds? Some were from the fight pit, but others were from taking out a set of smugglers and returning a young girl to her family there in town. It's similar things that need rooted out everywhere." He quirked an eyebrow right back. "Did you not hear me say we're working on sending the kids out in the morning? It's a done deal, we know they're not as safe as they could be. A messenger riding hard can reach the palace in under 6 hours if he's by himself and unmolested. A Wulf pack could be down here in about that time, and the children will move through the night and be at the palace less than 24 hours from now."

His expression settled when she revealed the bigger concessions. "That seems more like it."
Lear thought for a moment. "The Prince doesn't have a council. He has a network, which you would absolutely be a part of. As for being his advisor, well. Be his friend and you'll automatically become that." A faint smile crossed his face. "That's just how he operates. As for being a spy, you're welcome to if you like, I can just assure you that he will never ask for that unless it's a truly desperate situation. But I can't imagine he'd necessarily turn it down, and you're free to do as you like."
He paused again. "The only part of your requests that might be a problem is the oath. The Prince is not in the habit of making those, to anyone." He looked her in the eyes. "But after tonight, can you honestly say you don't think he would protect you from anything in his power to do so?"

"The prince needs a council and trusted advisors. There are still certain customs that will be expected of him when he inherits the throne." Elia sat back, bracing herself on her hands. "He would be stupid to refuse me as a spy. I have valuable assets. I know how to talk to people, I know how to get them to reveal things they wouldn't to an ordinary person. Or a prince."
She ran a hand through her hair, wincing as she ran into tangles. "Protection in return for offering my services. It sounds like a fair deal." She tilted her head as she looked at him. "But how far would he be willing to protect me? Is there anyone he wouldn't stand against? Should something happen that pits us against each other, would he still protect me then?"
It was hard to to seek protection because of her name and her blood without directly speaking it. And it was hard to not heavily suggest who she was either. "If I am discovered, they will come for my head and those who are close to me. I am putting myself in grave risk offering my services and going to palace. It is more of a risk for me to be there than it would for him to swear and oath. I do not think I am asking for something unreasonable. I need assurance."

Lear shook his head. "The Prince needs neither a council nor formal advisors, and he has never been one to bow to customs. Also, I think it's a bit much for you to attempt to corner him with customs, when you don't even know what customs the Haradrim have." He folded his arms across his chest. "But. Let's say for a moment he did need those things when he is king. I'll tell you what I can assure you he'll say: He'll deal with that when it comes." That had long been Romulus's approach.
He smirked at her arrogance. "I'm sure you're very good at getting things from people, but he will not ask you to spy. He doesn't ask that of his friends, whether they think themselvre good at it or not. If you choose to, and report to him, he won't scold you, but I say again, he'll not ask you to."
He frowned at her and uncrossed his arms, leaning forward. "It's not a deal. You act like he's trading you protection in exchange for some kind of service, but he's asked no service from you, none at all. Maybe if you feel that being given privileges, money, and a chance to help your people are asking you for services, then yes, he's asking, but even then, this is an incredibly one-sided deal." He kept his voice low. "Elia, he's not protecting you because of what you can do for him. He's protecting you, and he will protect you, because you're his subject and his friend. Because you have been through much and you deserve better. Because you matter to him, whether you've ever mattered to anyone else or not." Lear knew. Lear had experienced the Prince's protection for the same reasons. He had been in the same position as Elia, poor, broken, with nothing to offer, not really, and yet Romulus had pulled him out of an awful situation and given him a life.
Her specific questions had him narrowing his eyes. "There is no one he wouldn't stand up to, unless you mean the King. I can't think of a reason the King would threaten you, especially since he largely leaves the Prince's appointments alone, and is also out of the country leading our troops in Beleriand. And if something pits you against each other, it would only be you. I think it's a bit silly to ask if the Prince would protect you if you betrayed him…"
Lear shook his head again at her follow-up. "If you're worried about someone finding you, then don't offer your services. Romulus has not asked for them at court. You've consistently been the one to push that. If it's dangerous for you to be at court, then don't come to court. Don't spy. Your lands, title and position don't depend on what you can do for the Prince. He's not asking you for anything, other than that you help your people. That doesn't require you to come to court." He watched Romulus sleep for a moment, figuring it was close to time to wake him again. "In that sense, you're wrong. The oath is more dangerous because it gives you power over him, and he's not willing to take that chance."
She was back to this. That her personal comfort was more important than the Prince's. That she should get special privilege. Lear could not fathom what horrible personal danger she thought she was in. It would be eaiser to sympathize and negotiate if they knew who she was, but she was clearly not going to share that, and so they had to go on the information they had.
And that information just pointed to her being obnoxiously self-centered.
He kept his eyes on Romulus. "Your assurance of your safety ought to be found easily in how he has guarded you so far. Even now, we're about to wake him because of an injury sustained while protecting you and others, putting his life and limb on the line for people who don't even all like him, and certainly can't offer him anything." His voice hitched for a moment, as the full weight of how much he cared about Romulus hit him, as it often did. "If that doesn't assure you, then truly, no oath will either."

Elia reach forward and stroked the prince's cheek for just a moment. "I don't think I will ever be fully assured, no matter the situation."
She brought her hand back to her side and looked up at Lear. "I know you think I'm selfish. I know you both do. I would as well if I were in your position. But I have not been selfish in a very long time." She glanced at Lily and Calvin to make sure they were asleep. "I am not a warrior. I could not fight everyone with my bare hands to save everyone that lived in the brothel and I could not physically save any of the children. But I know what it was like to be in their position. I knew the pain of it. I didn't want any of them to go through that. So when they made a mistake, I convinced the Madame it was my fault and I took their punishments, each and every one of them. Any time a disgusting patron came in, trying to request one of the younger ones, I always put myself in their path and redirected them to myself. I used what little of my earnings that I ever saw to buy them toys to try to maintain some part of their childhood. I have been only selfless for my entire life. Even now, you don't understand. It's not just my life at stake. It's Lily and Calvin. It's the other children you brought from my brothel. It is the brothel. It's anyone who has an association with me that would be at risk too. Not just myself. If it was only me at risk, I would not care so much. I have always known I would die young, and while I'd rather not run straight into the blade, it is inevitable. But I don't want to risk anyone else's lives."
She sighed as she looked down in her lap. This could be so much easier if she could just tell him. She hadn't told anyone in twelve years. It was such a large secret to keep to herself. It had its toll on her. She wished she could just scream it, and let the world know she had survived, but there was too much at stake. Perhaps she would have told Lear if he did not have such a strong loyalty to the prince. Her very existence threatened his. If she wanted to take her throne, she would have to kill him along with his family. It's what would be expected of her.

Lear nodded slowly. "I understand the never being fully assured. But then, you know an oath won't really help that either…"
He listened as she talked, trying to parse what of it was true and what was fabricated or exaggerated.
He knew, from talking to the Madame and the other teens, that some of her claims about her selflessness were… exaggerated at best. But it wasn't those that bothered him. What she told others, let her tell them.
No, it was her personal belief in her own vital importance that bothered him. Her insistence that her existence would somehow topple her corner of the kingdom, up-end everyone she knew, cause some unknown wrath to fall on her. It wasn't as if-

He paused in his train of thought, and physically froze as well.

….no…. no, it can't be…
He would not voice that sudden suspicion now, but it would explain some things. Everything, in fact.

He shelved it for later. It didn't change anything, not really. He was fairly certain of how Romulus would react. And that guided him to ignore it for now.

Romulus awoke slowly. Lear had to reach down and shake him gently before he came fully awake and looked up at them, bleary eyed. He was clearly disoriented, and didn't seem to know Elia at first, but he recognized Lear immediately, and his friend's presence calmed him.
"What time is it?"

Elia opened her mouth to retort but she noticed the prince waking. They could finish their conversation later. She returned her hand to his cheek, smiling softly down at him. She shuffled her body closer to him. "Late." She responded. "How does your head feel?"
She wanted to take a look at the wound on his head, see if a bump had appeared. She had no doubt he would be fine and heal through this. But she wanted to be sure. Part of her felt guilty he was injured trying to save her. She would make sure he fully recuperated.
"Do you anything? Water? Food?" She didn't know when the last time he hydrated or ate was.

(Sorry for the short reply. At the gym.)

(youre ok, focus on your workout :) I'm at work anyway, so short responses here too )

The Prince frowned, looking a little like a petulant child with the sleepy look on his face. "Hurts." His voice was even deeper than the last time, and Lear grinned as he heard the beginnings of morning voice showing up.

Elia made a good suggestion, and Lear went to get some water and food regardless of the Prince's answer.

Romulus just shook his head. "Sleep." He clearly just wanted to go back to sleep. He was watching Elia like he thought she might slap him or something if he tried to lie back dwon.

Lear returned after a moment with a jug of water and some fruit and venison. He had already sliced everything so it would be easier to eat.
"Fruit, my Prince?"

Romulus looked at him for a moment, before slowly nodding yes. He reached for the food, but his hands were shaking badly as he did so.

Elia's smile widened at him. He reminded her of a child who didn't want to get out of bed.
She ran her hand up and down his back, careful to avoid his wounds. "I know darling but you need to get food and water in you before you go to back to bed." She watched as Lear got up and returned with food and water.
She frowned as the prince reached for the food first. She would have rather he had some water first but she didn't say anything. She did notice, however, how much he was shaking. She took the fruit from him, with the intention to feed him herself.
"Open." She intruded before placing the fruit in his mouth. "You in another situation, this would be a big turn on."
She tried to lighten the situation a bit, hoping to get a smile out of the prince in front of her.

Romulus frowned as he realized he'd taken the bite without even protesting. He was also leaning into her hand on his back, but that was ok, he supposed.

Lear didn't particularly appreciate her tone, but he doubted Romulus would remember. "Do me a favor and don't mock him. He is still the Prince, after all." He handed the prince the next slice of fruit, which Romulus ate, giving Elia a reproachful but sleepy look.
"Besides, in another situation, he'd be one telling you to open and filling your mouth after." Lear said with a smirk. She'd probably been trying to keep things light, and he didn't want to squelch that entirely, just not at the Prince's expense.

Romulus ate a few more slices, careful to only take them from Lear. He drank some water and seemed to be waking up more fully after a few minutes. At some point, his expressions changed from petulant tired to very, very tired young man.
"Thank you, both of you." He said quietly. "Would either of you sleep if I asked you to?"

Elia's cheeks flushed a dark red. "And I would enjoy every second if it Lear. Perhaps if you're lucky, we might even ask you to join us." She gave him a wink.
She touched the prince's head gingerly, feeling for any swelling that would cause concern. She checked over the bandages, seeing if any had bled through and needed to be changed. Her personality had quickly shifted from teasing to caregiver.
As the prince woke up, she shifted away from him slightly, giving him some room should he wish for it. She didn't want to crowd. She didn't particularly like it when people fussed over her when she was injured.
"No. I'm not tired." Lie. She was very tired. But she knew if she tried to sleep it wouldn't go well. "Besides, who else is going to watch over you, prince. You should be trying ti go back to sleep."

Lear smiled at her. "I'm sure you would, Romulus is very good." His smile faded a bit. "I've had enough sex to last me a lifetime, so I'd have to politely decline that kind offer." The day Romulus had paid for him had been the last time he'd had sex with anyone, and Lear had never felt attraction since. He'd wondered for a while if he would be broken like that forever, but Romulus had reassured him it was not a problem and he needn't be self-conscious.
He shook his head ar Romulus's question. "I'm wide awake, my Prince." He really was, having hit the caffeine and taurine hard earlier in the night.

Romulus looked from him to Elia, drowning a bit as she scooted away and stopped rubbing his back. It had felt good and he didn't particularly want her to stop. But she looked exhausted.
"Elia, Lear can watch me." He paused, thinking slowly. "If you don't want to sleep alone, sleep here, on the cot. But please, rest."

Elia gave Lear an understanding look. She knew what he meant. Elia herself had hated sex for a long time. It had only been in recent years she had come to terms with herself and let herself enjoy it. Not with all patrons of course. But there were a few whom she didn't mind and could lose herself in them for just a while. It didn't mean that she didn't have her triggers but she had grown more comfortable in her position.
She sighed as she looked up at the prince. Even now, sitting down, he was at least six inches taller than her, if not more. She had a feeling she wasn't going to win this argument but she had to at least try.
"I really don't want to sleep." She didn't want her screams to wake up the camp. It was that or she would freeze in fear of her nightmares and her body would lock. It could take hours for her to gain control on her limbs again. "I'll be alright."

Romulus tried a different tactic. "Lear is used to staying up and working on low sleep. If you're going to help, like you offered, I need you at your best, and this is different work than you're used to doing. Please, sleep at least a little?" He pulled the blanket off and put it back on the cot, handing the pillow to Lear.

Lear stood and put the pillow in place, and beckoned Elia. "I'll be here for both of you." He smiled at her.

(Sorry it's short!)

(Sorry I was just at an interview. Got the job.)

Elia pursed her lips. She really didn't want to sleep but even then she could feel her body begging to rest. "I'm uses to not sleeping much. I really don't need too."
Despite her words she was already moving to the cot. Her hand brushed against the prince's shoulders. She spot a silent pray that she would sleep soundly. She pulled her shoes off and placed the blanket over her.
"I'll try but I can't promise I'll sleep for very long. I usually got four, five hours if I was lucky back at the brothel."