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Tohru is very quiet this whole time. Watching other people struggle with panic attacks- or anything even remotely close to that really- put him in a difficult situation. He felt that pain. He felt it almost too intensely. Yet, in the meantime, Tohru fell into an uneasy half-asleep state, only fully waking up when Trianna returns. He's mostly relieved that she seems to he back in one piece, but he's also worried if she sticks around much longer, she could endanger them.
Trianna nods.
"You're welcome. Also, I found some more supplies and weapons. Things like antiobiotics and vitamins, and some knives. Even a few throwing axes." she explains.
Cathal hums. “K…” he mutters.
"We appreciate it," Tohru says, sleepily raising his head from where it rested on his knees.
He hasn't moved since coming here.
"Hopefully we won't need those weapons too soon, though."
Cathal stays quiet, holding onto his dog. He didn’t like so many unknown people being around. He remembered his days before the apocalypse. When he knew what not fitting in felt like. Now however, no one fit in. He still started to feel out of place though. He sighs, looking at Tohru.
"I mainly gathered them in case of an emergency." she says softly.
"Also, the antibiotics should help you with that wound of yours. You may have gotten tetanus or something." she sighs, handing him one of the bottles she'd found. "It should help keep you healthy-ish until I can find a hospital or something to raid."
Tohru shakes his head.
"I've been keeping up with wound care well enough. I'm still up-to-date on tetanus vaccines. I'll be alright," he says, "It's just kind of all crashing down over me, now that I've kind of… emerged from this brain fog."
He glances over to Cathal.
"I'm sorry I couldn't- that I couldn't help. It makes me apprehensive. I… um… I used to have panic attacks literally all the time and it just- I feel you. Maybe a little too much."
He nods. “Its fine…im used it it anyways…besides i- dont like people talking while its going on…overwhelms me more…” he mutters. “Thanks though…im…sorry you had to go through that too…it sucks.”
Trianna shrugs. "Just making sure you don't die. Sometimes the infection can be spread through the water or air. I've seen it happen."
She listens to Cathal and Toru interact.
Tohru draws in a deep breath and nods.
"Okay, noted," he replies, "I'll keep that in mind if it happens again."
His gaze flits back and forth between the two.
"I-I'm really fine," Tohru insists.
He's smiling, but it doesn't reach his eyes. The pain is less than before. He's in the clear for becoming infected. He's physically okay, but he feels like a lot of weight has fallen onto his shoulders.
Cathal looks at him and sucks in a breath. “Are you ok?” His voice was shaky and weak, but he still managed to sound way too loud.
Trianna shakes her head slightly. "I may be blind, but I'm not dumb, Tohru. You sound more stressed than you did when you were in pain."
She walks over to Tohru and crouches in front of him. She slips off all of the stuff she was carrying - her gear, weapons, her jacket, her boots, her pants - leaving her simply human. She wraps her arms around the small person.
"Just rest until you've healed. We're not going to make you hunt or gather." she murmurs.
Cathal nods. “If you want…you can use my air mattress…it’s more comfortable then a mat…”
Tohru stiffens a bit at the unexpected touch.
"I should've died out there," he laughs, bringing a palm to his face. "I left my family, my group left me… It was a matter of time."
He is too stunned still to cry.
"Noah… Cas… Aline… They're all gone… Just like that."
He shakes his head at the suggestion.
"No, I don't need somewhere comfier to sleep. I'll be alright on that front, but I appreciate the offer."
Cathal frowns, listening. “I…I’m so sorry…” he mutters.
Trianna nods silently.
"My mom and dad were some of the first to turn, I think. I. . . I had to kill them myself. They were monsters wearing the faces of my parents." she says quietly. "So I understand."
"My parents sent me a call for help, and I denied them that help," Tohru says flatly, "Granted, we were… estranged. But still, I may as well have killed them."
He runs a hand through his hair, and it catches in a tangle.
Cathal sighs, “I understand what thats like…my…sibling got infected and-“ he pauses, staring off into the distance, only to snap back to reality once teddy licked his face.
Trianna sighs.
"So we've all lost our families." she murmurs. "Brothers and sisters in grief, huh."
Cathal nods, “Yeah…” he mutters.
"Sure," Tohru sighs, "but it's not them I miss."
He glances at his feet.
"I was stuck with friends, mostly. Professors. Adults I admired. People I formed strong bonds with. Some of them died early on. Others hung on until the end. And the last few left- well… they abandoned me in my grief."
Trianna's face hardens, and she slowly lets go of Tohru.
"They abandoned you? When you stood with them?" she asks quietly.
Cathal frowns, then shoos teddy to go comfort Tohru since he himself was feeling better. “My…ex girlfriend was killed like that…and- my last friend had to leave me behind…it- wasn’t their fault…i was at deaths door…but i managed to escape and- i never saw them again…” he fidgets with some sort of toy, rocking slightly.
Teddy moves over to Tohru and snuggles into him, closing his eyes.
Tohru lets out another breath.
"It's my fault for not pulling the trigger sooner, or letting someone else do it. The second we knew Noah was infected, people lined up to mercy kill him. But I just- I couldn't let them do it, you know? They would've been in danger had we stayed there any longer, but I just didn't want to leave his side, no matter how selfish it might have been."
He paused for a second.
"But just because I deserved to be left behind doesn't make it hurt less."
Trianna shakes her head.
"You had the most right out of all of them to. . . to kill him. That doesn't mean that you deserve to be left behind." she says.
Cathal sighs. “No one deserves to be left behind.”
"Well then… same goes to my dear old parents, right?" Tohru says cynically, "I got exactly what I dished out."
He pets Teddy a little bit.
"But regardless, I'm still here, I guess, and it'd be a waste to just go off and die since I made it through these past couple of weeks."
He nods. “The more of us, the more likely it is to recover…and you never know if there are still people who are…like us.”
"Were your parents the first to abandon you?" Trianna asks.
Tohru raises his eyebrows a bit.
"Well- not in the literal, dumping me on the streets sense. But in a manner, I guess they did."
He relaxes a little.
"I can't help the guilt though."