forum Angst o/o (closed)

Started May 25, 2021 by @Becfromthedead group

tune

Adrien shook his head, a smile plastered on his lips.

"No, I simply want to know these things, I love your family; if I must say, almost as much as you do. Your mother was always quite caring for me, she even made me a hat for my tenth birthday, do you remember? I still have it somewhere in here." He said, standing up quickly, going to the dresser and rummaging through it, he eventually pulled our a maroon colored hat, with a singular white feather attached, the fabric soft and cold.

He sat back down, placing the hat in his lap, and looked at it with great memory. "It doesn't fit anymore, but I still cherish it as much as the day she gifted it to me." He said softly.

"If I must be honest Sebastian, we have quite enough rooms here in the castle…" he started, then his eyes flicked to the fireplace, where the fire was crackling faintly, his eyes now a soft green in the light.

"We could move your family into them, and let them be taken care of, they would have as much opportunity to grow as you did, when we were little." He said with a smile. "I would move them into the castle in an instant, if I knew they would surely agree to come." He added quietly.

Sebastian smiled slightly.
"We… could always ask them, I suppose, though I'm afraid they'd refuse. They'd be more likely to accept if given work here, though. We've never really been the type to take things for free. Call it stubbornness, call it good work ethic. Regardless, while I would like that to happen, I worry they won't let it."
He cast a glance sideways.
"We couldn't take another hard winter."

Adrien sighed into the air.

"I shall write them a letter, offering them all jobs here, and pay them by providing basic necessities such as quarters and food supply." He said firmly, as if nothing Sebastian said could persuade him not to do it. "Yes and in the letter, I shall thank your mother for the hat, and we will both deliver it to your house personally." He added solemnly.

"What job do you think I should offer to each of them?" he asks quietly "I want to offer all of them the most suitable jobs for each of them." He added, his head slipping to the side a bit.

"Thank you so much," Sebastian said with a relieved sigh, "You have no idea how much this means to me. You may think you know, but my gods…"
They thought for a moment.
"Well… I'm not sure. My mother would probably do best in the kitchen. It's not too labor intensive, and she's a fantastic cook. As for my father… he could probably also do with something less labor intensive, but I'm not sure what. I'm sure most of my siblings would be happy with anything, even menial tasks. But you know, the courtyard could always use some upkeep, and I'm sure at least one of them would be willing to do that. As for Lavenza and Faye, my younger sisters… Faye shouldn't work until she's older. And Lavenza has a lot of skills that the rest of us don't. She's been studying academics, government, and philosophy, and she can read a lot better than the rest of us. I'm sure there's use for her skills."

Adrien thought for a moment, his eye's going slightly hazy and glossy with the idea of Sebastian's family living in the castle.

"I'll give your mother a job as a cook, your father could be the groundskeeper, of the courtyard, not the entire castle grounds. Your sister Lavenza could uhm–" he thought for a moment, his chin resting on Sebastian's chest, the warmth engulfing his body.

"She shall be my assistant, deal with reading my letter and writing responses, and Faye can come along and roam the castle grounds whenever, be a child for once." She said, inclining his head a bit to look up at Sebastian.

"Does that sound alright?" he asked them, his smile faltering for a slight second.

"It sounds great, Adrien," Sebastian replied, his eyes glistening a little bit.
He was not going to cry, even though he was overcome by emotion. This was really everything he'd ever wanted. With his family taken care of, he could do more of what he wanted without having to worry about them.
His chest hitched a bit with a sharp breath as he bit back tears.

(Quick rundown of siblings for my keeping track and your knowledge. I'll paste them into Sebastian's profile as well:
Faye: Younger sister, 11. Baby, must protect at all costs. Probably too mature for her age because of the family's position, and the fact she already has to do some amount of work. She's very sweet and loves to help others.

Matthieu: younger brother, deceased, would be 13, died at 2

Lavenza: Younger sister, 16. She's one of the closest to Sebastian. Very soft and quiet individual, mom friend. Emotional support sibling. She loves animals, and has also worked very hard on academics like writing and politics, the best she can with the little she has.

Sebastian: 18

Nicolas: older brother, deceased, would be 19. Sebastian was very close to him and never fully accepted his death around 17 years old.

Gatrie: older brother, 21 (twin to Risette). Aside from Lavenza, is the closest to Sebastian. He's very reserved and stoic, and he hides a lot of pain. A very heavily traumatized individual and hides a lot of his problems. He's probably the hardest worker, and will run himself ragged trying to get a job done. He was pretty carefree in his younger years, but he's changed a lot. Sebastian barely considers him the same person he was previously. He seems weirdly keen on getting away from the family, but it's more likely because being with the family dredges up the worst of his trauma.

Risette: older sister, deceased, would be 21 (twin to Gatrie). Died at 8.

Noel: oldest brother, 25. Tired dad energy. He's a good caretaker both by nature and by necessity. Very clever, knows how to get the most out of just about anything. Loves his family, but he worries that he's going to be trapped caring for others forever and will never live for himself.)

Adrien nodded and placed a hand on Sebastian's cheek, in a friendly way as if saying hey, you know I'd do anything for you.

"I'm glad I could help, I'll write them a letter explaining everything as soon as I awake in the morning, and we'll deliver it to your family together. How does that sound? I'll even bring two carriages, so your family can put their things in one, and ride back to the castle with us in the other." He said softly. He kept his hand on Sebastian's cheek and smiled up at him.

(Yeah, Lavenza is a sweetheart. And also I had some stuff written on her already, which was not the case for the other siblings. So she's better developed for sure. And obviously, Faye is babey.)
Sebastian sighed softly, clasping his hand over Adrien's where it rested on his face.
"Thank you again. I just hope they'll agree to it. Even if not at first, I'm sure I could convince them," Sebastian replied, "I'm so glad… I won't have to worry about them anymore."

Adrien smiled and nodded, the heat of Sebastian's hand on top of his seeming to sink into his bones.
"Yes I suppose it would do a great deal for both of us, you would no longer have to fill yourself with worry and I on the other hand; could see your family, which is practically my family every day." He said cheerily.

He kept his hand still, but snuggled his head into the curve of Sebastian's neck.
He let the silence of the room; beside the crackling fire settle over himself before speaking again
"do you remember when my mother caught us snuggling once when we were children?" he asked quietly.
"We had just woken up, so we had no time to untangle from each other." He stated quietly.

Sebastian nodded.
"It'll be great. I mean, they're my family, and even I haven't seen them in a while."
He smiled a bit at the memory.
"Well, she could've reacted a lot worse, that's for sure."

Adrien nodded slowly, his mouth drawn into such a tight line, his lips were turning white around the edges.

"She told my father." He added as if that explained everything. "He was not happy, he forbid me from seeing you, I think that's the only time I ever stood up for myself when it came to him." He stated quietly.

"It's unfortunate that you had to. You deserved so much better. We were literally kids- I don't get what was wrong with it," Sebastian replied.
They shrugged a bit.
"You know they wouldn't have reacted the same, had I been a girl. And I mean… I get that a lot, too. I'm scared to death to tell my family I even like men. I don't know they would've liked to see us cuddling, either. I just- I don't know. It's really complicated, huh?"
He frowned.
"Every time I thought I might be torn away from you- it's really been unbearable."

Adrien smiled up at him and placed his head on Sebastian's shoulder.

He sat there for a few minutes, his breath low and deep.
When he finally lifted his head, he pulled his hand away from Sebastians cheek and placing it on his shoulder.
"I think you're the only person I've ever fought for." He states quietly, his eyes swirling with bright blue and greens.

"I should be flattered, but I think it makes me even happier that I can draw out strength you didn't know you had," Sebastian replied.
He gave a smile.
"Okay, maybe I'm a little flattered."

"Yes I suppose, considering that I deeply despise fighting and everything related to it." Adrien said quietly in response.

"i never had anything to fight for except you, and I fought with my father long and hard about you." He pressed on, his breathing deepening and his voice getting slow with sleep.

"You were the only thing— the only person who I ever felt pressed to fight for, y'know; at many points in my life you were the only thing keeping me sane, you were my lifeline. And in many ways you still are." He added quietly, resting his chin on Sebastian's other shoulder.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian whispered.
It must be horribly lonely, only having one person you'd be willing to fight for. Sebastian always had many. Maybe it was his harder fighting spirit. Maybe he was lucky to have so much love in his life. Maybe he was just reckless.
"I guess I should be grateful that you think me so important, but I can't help wishing that you had more than just me."

"I hate to disagree but I do, I think your the only friend I need." Adrien said slowly, closing his eyes slowly.

Adrien had loved Sebastian since they were children, though it was platonic at the moment, he knew if Sebastian asked he would do anything for them. Though Sebastian was more of a life source for him than anyone knew. He had made his life worth living, and enjoyable ever since they were small children. Adrien's entire life was spent looking forward to seeing Sebastian and not much else.

Sebastian was ready to protest. After all, one person did not make a support system. Yet, he would let Adrien have that for now. After all, he was used to being a big support for others. It was in his nature, and up to this point in his life, he did it out of necessity.
"Fair enough," they replied, "You may not think the same in ten, or even five years, but if I'm all you need for now, I'm more than happy to provide."

"yes, I suppose." Adrien mumbled in a slow, tired voice, then closed his eyes, his breathing switching to deep, sleeping ones.

Sebastian rested a hand over Adrien's heart, starting to become very sleepy himself as well. The other's warmth was very comforting, and helped him get to sleep even faster than normal.

(I went ahead and time skipped since they're both asleep)
Adrien awoke to the sound of birds chirping and lightly shining lightly through his velvet curtains.
He rubbed his eyes and sat up slowly, looking around as if he were in a foreign place. He got up, lifting the sheets off himself and stretching by putting his hands above his head, he walked over to the window quietly, looking out into the courtyard, then looked at Sebastian and smiled.

He went to his desk, pulling out crisp paper and a quill, he dipped the quill in the ink sitting atop his desk, he sat in the chair and began writing the letter to Sebastian family that he promised.
"𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝕷𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖘,

𝕴 𝖍𝖔𝖕𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖆𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖏𝖔𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊, 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖑𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖎𝖘 𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖙𝖔 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖎𝖓𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖓𝖊𝖊𝖉𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘 𝖆𝖙 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊. 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖔𝖋𝖋𝖊𝖗 𝖘𝖑𝖊𝖊𝖕𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖖𝖚𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖘 𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑 𝖆𝖘 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖇𝖆𝖘𝖎𝖈 𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖊𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖓 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖍𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖉 𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖐 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖘𝖊 𝖏𝖔𝖇𝖘. 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖏𝖔𝖇𝖘 𝕴 𝖍𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖆𝖘𝖘𝖎𝖌𝖓𝖊𝖉 𝖆𝖗𝖊 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖊𝖑𝖔𝖜:
𝕱𝖆𝖞𝖊: 𝖙𝖔 𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍 𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊.
𝕷𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖟𝖆: 𝕿𝖔 𝖙𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍 𝖒𝖊 𝖍𝖔𝖜 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖒𝖞 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖕𝖔𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝖘𝖐𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖘.
𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙: 𝕿𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝖒𝖞 𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑 𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖋 (𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖙, 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖌𝖊𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖘𝖚𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖔𝖔𝖉 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖆𝖘 𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖑, 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖚𝖘𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖞 𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖈𝖊𝖘 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖐𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖔 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖛𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖋𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖑𝖞 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊𝖆𝖑𝖘)
𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙: 𝕿𝖔 𝖇𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖘𝖐𝖊𝖊𝖕𝖊𝖗 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖐𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖞𝖆𝖗𝖉 𝖓𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖐𝖊𝖕𝖙.

𝕴 𝖉𝖔 𝖍𝖔𝖕𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖏𝖔𝖎𝖓 𝖒𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖑𝖊.

                              𝖘𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖑𝖞 𝕬𝖉𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓."

The letter read, he slipped it into a cream colored envelope, then melted some wax and stamped the envelope shut with a orange and red colored stamp that had a sun in the middle.

(Yeah, that's good)
Sebastian was still half-asleep as Adrien worked at his desk. But he stirred awake as Adrien finished the letter. He grasped at empty blankets next to him, and eyes still blurry from having just woken up, he rolled over to find Adrien.
"Oh, you're writing the letter," Sebastian murmured.
They sat upright and rubbed their eyes a bit.

"yes, I promised I would and I dont break promises." He said quietly, his eyes scanning Sebastian quickly.
"I was hoping you would deliver it with me." He suggested with a small smile.

He looked out the window, his eyes gleaming in the sun slightly, he smiled to himself as the birds chirped quietly, the sound stifled by the glass panes of the windows.

"I know you don't," Sebastian said softly, "You just made quick on that promise is all."
He looked down slightly and to the side.
"You don't think it'll put a target on their backs, do you?"