forum Angst o/o (closed)

Started May 25, 2021 by @Becfromthedead group

tune

Adrien smiled at Sebastian and gave the boy a nod of approval, he then scooted closer, his knee touching Sebastian's, and his blond hair bouncing as he tilted his head upwards slightly, to look up at the taller boy.

"So tell me Sebastian" he said softly "whats life been like for you?, tell me anything I need to know" he added quietly, his fingers grazing the fabric of his lounge pants.

Sebastian shrugged.
"Well, relentless training. If things don't get resolved soon, you and I will have to go to battle one of these days. We may not be front lines, but it's terrifying nonetheless."
He let out a sigh.
"And when I'm not training, I'm patrolling and keeping an eye on things around here. And in my downtime, I have to kiss nobles' asses."
Sebastian smiled a bit.
"But I still have a little time for dating around, at least. That's always nice. Until they turn our to be a total snob, of course. How about you? Aside from trying to handle this war, I mean?"

Adrien gave a suppressing sigh

"I too, have to kiss asses, but not the noble's I must say gratefully; if I want the the general's help, I must kiss their asses, or else I'd be left to fight the entire war alone, and that" he said with the flip of his hand
"would not be good for Sunstasia, not good in the very least" he said, his fingers rubbing against the materials of his lounge pants.

"other than that I haven't had time for most things such as searching for romantic pleasure, but I must say, I had enough free time to be seduced by a rather insightly and handsome musician, thats sits by the town square's fountain strumming on his guitar on who was able to provide me a little sexual pleasure, but nothing romantic." He said quietly, his features seeming to glow in the light of the fire, swirls of orange and yellow dancing across his cheeks.

"It wouldn't," Sebastian agreed, "It's awful that you have to do that, but clearly you're doing something right, since the generals are still with us."
He laughed a little at the last bit.
"Oh, yes, I know the guy. At least you're getting a little release then, I suppose. If you don't have time for romance, you won't fully be able to take care of a partner. I say, with my awfully busy schedule and relationships that never last more than a couple of weeks. I could just sleep around, but gods, I'm such a romantic."

"me too" Adrien declared, his face tilted downwards, his elbow rested on his leg, and his cheek rested in his palm.

"perhaps it was the alcohol, perhaps it was just my craving for touch, but it didn't do quite what I wanted, and it took quite a toll on my mind." He added quietly, his mouth drawn into the same stern frown.

"I think being a romantic is a good thing" he said softly, his eyes casted towards the fire, his eyes glistening.

"Oh… that's… I'm sorry," Sebastian whispered, his brow furrowed, "He didn't hurt you, did he? Or take advantage of you at all? You said you were drunk?"
They shook their head.
"I wish I could just do things without feelings involved. I don't really have time for all this… feelings bullshit," they added with a chuckle, "You know what I mean? Especially not when I've been struggling to find other people who want more than money or prestige. Or those turn away when they know where I come from, or who I really am, or any of that shit."

Adrien gave sebastian a curt nod.

"yes I understand entirely, it can be hard to take care of someone, especially when you're so…busy" he said in agreement.

"Although… maybe it's for the best I haven't fallen hard for anyone yet," Sebastian said with a shrug, "After all, I always feel like someone is wanting to stab me in the back. Just waiting for the opportunity. It wouldn't be fair to a lover to constantly be in such danger. I just want to be there for them. And if I were to die in the line of duty- well, that just wouldn't do, now would it?"
They laughed softly.
"Maybe after this war is over things will work out. Or maybe I should forget about it entirely and focus on things that matter more, like my family, and, well, you…"

Adrien looked into the fire as a rosy blush filled his cheeks and spread to his ears, he had never been in someone's list for more important things to fo us on, well except to the castle's army, but that was all because he had to BE more important to them, they were his soldiers after all.

But he felt Sebastian meant it when he said it, and he turned and gave a slight nod, while saying "yes, though you're life is just as important to me as mine is to you, therefore you should have the ability to search for a partner… that is when you want to" Adrien said softly.

Sebastian smiled.
"I appreciate it," he replied, "I don't think it's wise to pursue right now, but it's always good to know you do give me autonomy, let me do what I want- within reason, of course."

Adrien gave a soft smile, and a nod. He crossed his arms and rested them on his stomach, something he had always done as far as he could remember, due to being self conscious about how skinny he was, which was very.

He then turned his head to look at Sebastian. He gave another smile and his eyes sparkled a little in the light of the fire. "Anytime, I would never treat anyone, especially you; like an unequal, as if im superior." He said softly, his eyes crinkling the skin around them as he smiled.

(Thanks! Been a little hectic with moving into my new place, so I'm probably gonna be on more sporadically for the forseeable future, but I'm still here!)

"I-I know that's who you are, but I figure it's still only right to let you know that I love you for it," Sebastian sighed.
They leaned back and closed their eyes, letting out an easy exhale.
"My lack of refinement, my stubbornness, the way I do things and how I sometimes try to live a normal life- others do tend to find fault in it. Quite frankly, I've considered leaving here because of all the shit some of those noble bastards give me, but ultimately, it wouldn't help anything."

Adrien gave a soft sigh and kept his gaze on Sebastian, he reached up and let his hand rest on their shoulder, his eyes twinkled in the light of the fire and he inhaled slowly before he managed to say

"if they ever give you to much of a problem, just let me know, I am still the prince of this kingdom, I wont have the people I care about being treated like they're worthless by people who think I need them."

Adrien dropped his hand from Sebastians shoulder, then rested his hand around his stomach again.

"Again, I appreciate the sentiment," Sebastian replied.
He leaned his head back a bit, trying to wind down after another long day.
"But I do think I can mostly take care of myself in that department. I wouldn't have you ruin any potential connections on my behalf. Even if you don't need them, knowing the right people can make your life easier. Quite frankly, as long as no one tries to kill me aga- as long as no one tries to kill me… I shouldn't pay them so much mind."

Adrien turned his head toward Sebastian, his gaze following and landing on the other person's face.

"Alright, I do presume you can handle it yourself, but just know there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Even if you are as strong as you are, help isn't something to be ashamed of." He stated, his voice raspy with tiredness. He then gave a small yawn, and covered his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Yeah, I think I do have it under control for the most part," Sebastian laughed, "Truly, I do. For now."
They closed their eyes a bit. Sebastian's eyelids were growing heavy.

Adrien stood up slowly, his fingers lacing together behind his head, cracking his fingers, he bends backwards a little, and a loud crack comes from this movement, indicating his back was what made the noise.

"Shall we set to bed?" Adrien asked, looking down at Sebastian, and his closed eyelids.
"I must say im quite tired, I can assume the same for you." He adds to fill the silence.

He extends a hand towards Sebastian, his chest surging with an unknown emotion, something familiar, but he isn't able to place it.

"Good idea," Sebastian agreed.
He took the other's hand without a second thought. Sebastian had always been the touchy type. With lovers of course, but even with friends and family.
"I'm pretty exhausted. Especially after the war council."

Adrien gave a small yawn and a nod and lead to Sebastian to his giant bed. He then let go of Sebastian's hand and walked toward the left side of the bed, where he pulled pack the covers, got in, and pulled the covers up to his shoulders. He smiled over at Sebastian.

Sebastian settled into bed on the opposite side from Adrien. They pulled the covers halfway up their chest, leaving their arms exposed.
"Sometimes I miss having someone next to me in bed. Sure it was you for a while when we were younger. But before then, even, I had my siblings. It gets really lonely at night, yknow?" they said with a chuckle, "But I guess this is flat out seen as inappropriate between adults. But what do I care? One night won't hurt anyone."

Adrien turned to Sebastian, laying on his left side to do this. He sighed into the air and looked at Sebastian with lonely, sad eyes. They glistened and were glassy, as if he were about to cry.

"If you don't mind the suggestion, I am completely open to the idea of being closer physically…" he paused and drew his mouth into a tight line "as in, we could— we could" he stopped and looked away "you know what i'm trying to say" he said waving a hand in the air as he spoke.

"Just cuddle, like I was saying?" Sebastian asked, a little surprised but visibly interested, "Because I'm totally open to it, it's just, you know… social repercussions. But no one has to know except you."
He shifted a little closer to Adrien, very slow and cautious.

Adrien nodded grimly, but his eyes sparkled and danced. He warily moved closer to Sebastian, until his thighs were touching the other's thighs as well. He looked into Sebastian's eyes and moved his arm under Sebastians, wrapping it around his back.

Turning himself into the little spoon, but he snuggled his nose into Sebastian's shoulder.
"No one needs to know" he repeated in a monotone voice.

(We can try to pick this up again if you're interested. Trying to get back into rping again, but I feel like I keep disappearing. That said, the past month has been literal hell lmao)
Sebastian felt heat rise into his face. He gasped softly, kind of taken aback by Adrien's sudden touch, but he was happy. Blissful, even. They pressed their face into Adrien's shoulder, warm breath passing over the other's skin as they exhaled.
Sebastian fell in love a lot. It could be platonic, romantic, whatever. It seemed only natural for him to fall in love with his childhood best friend in some way. That was just how Sebastian was. Seeing beauty in essentially all people, it was so easy to catch feelings and want some sort of intimacy.
"That's nice," they said quietly, their voice muffled slightly into Adrien's shoulder.
Sebastian moved their arms around the other's waist in a gentle embrace.

(im more than happy to keep this going, and im sorry the past month has been so hard for you :( I hope everything gets better and you find a steady rhythm for coming on the site and what not. Also I know what you're going through so if you disappear for a lil while I know its because you're busy)

Adrien felt his body erupt into a singular, strong shudder as Sebastian's breath grazed his skin, giving it heat and electricity. He deepened his breath then retracted his breathing pattern back to normal.

He kept his grip on Sebastian firm yet gentle, as he felt the other person would like it that way. He lifted his head slightly to look up at Sebastian, and pushed a lock of hair behind his ear.

"Will you tell me of your family?" he asked Sebastian "I know you've told me of them before, but they seem so wonderful, can you tell me again?" he asked, his eye's wide and doe like.

Sebastian was a little taken aback by the question. It wasn't unwelcome, just unexpected.
"Oh, my family? I haven't been able to see them much for the past few months, but- but, you know. When love is all you have, you learn to have a lot of it. And for that, I'm grateful."
He shifted ever so slightly so that his posture was less stiff.
"My parents both work agriculture. I mean, all they have is their ability to do physical labor, but… but even that's starting to fade. I've been funneling in a lot of my funds, and they seem to be doing better, I think. They've always put us kids before themselves, and I just want to be able to give that back. They deserve better. As for my siblings, even the youngest has started to pull her weight. Faye has been helping around the house, mostly with cooking and mending clothes. But I do wish she got to be a child for a little longer. Lavenza has been doing well. Even if we haven't been able to meet much in person, we've been keeping correspondence. I swear, she's always been the best at emotionally supporting the rest of us."
He smiled slightly.
"The older ones are dying to get out, I can tell. They love our parents, but I can't blame them. It's hard living so crammed when- I'm sorry, this probably isn't what you wanted to hear, is it?"