Brenn shrugged, not really caring at this point. "I think I'll stay in my room today, okay?" He said picking up his plate and walking over to his bedroom. "If you need me, I'll be here." He said with a small smile, he could sense the mood of the other boy. "Rest well."
"I… okay, then." Sebastian moved towards the couch.
"Thank you." Sebastian offered a soft smile in turn, sitting down, He laid on the couch, hands under his head. He really didn't want to do anything today…
Brenn placed the plate of food onto one of the small tables he had in his room and walked over to Moose's cage, slowly uncovering it, then letting the bird out so he could stretch his wings a bit. "Morning buddy." He said softly, his mind and body still tired from the events from the night before. "How did you sleep?" Moose seemed to understand what the boy was saying and cooed quietly, as if to say okay. Then he landed on the bed, hopping around in circles and bopping his head. Brenn rolled his eyes and turned away, knowing that the bird was just trying to cheer him up, although he wasn't sure how he knew that he needed that.
Sebastian turned the television on, keeping the volume down. He let out a small breath, closing his eyes to think. What were they going to do from now on? Had Sebastian ruined it all- of course he did, he beat Brenn, he'd shouted and yelled and degraded him. Of course it was all Sebastian's fault. Just like… No. He wasn't thinking about that, thinking about her. He'd gone most of his life not, he wouldn't do it now. Sebastian let out a shuddering breath, curling up a bit more.
Brenn leaned back on his bed just laying there sprawled out. I don't understand myself. . .I would've thought that I would hate this man right now. . . But, yet, I kind of still care about what will happen to him if he get's caught. WHy though? I just. . .I can't. Moose hopped onto his back and began to peck him gently, "Moose, stopppppppp, I-I can't right now. I want to wallow in my sorrowsssssssss."
Sebastian ran his fingers through his own hair, turning over to face the back of the couch. He didn't have a bird to distract him, to keep his mind from spiralling down. He covered his face in his hands, letting out another shaky breath. No, no, no… he couldn't break down, he couldn't.
But at that point he felt a bit better, then he remembered something, Sebastian. . .he needs someone to be there for him right now. He stood up and let Moose perch on his finger before walking out of the room. Moose seemed to know what he wanted him to do, and flew towards Sebastian, landing on his side. Brenn watched form behind the corner, not wanting Sebastian to see him and freak out or something. Moose just cooed softly hopping on the boy.
Sebastian let out a shaky breath, moving his head a bit to look up at the bird on him.
"Hey, Moose," Sebastian said softly, his voice cracking a bit. He lifted one finger up, gently running it over Moose's feathers. He gave a very faint smile, Moose pulling him out of his spiral for a moment. He didn't seem to notice Brenn.
"Did you escape from Brenn?" Like Brenn had tried to with him?
Brenn smiled a little bit seeing the boy look happy, at least for a few seconds, He stepped a bit closer to the two, watching the interaction. He saw the hurt in the boy's eyes when he mentioned the bird escaping, and he sighed softly, I. . .I'm sorry Sebastian, I just wanted my home if only for a few minutes, I thought you'd understand. But I did get a bit carried away. I just wanted my freedom too. . .But now I guess I appreciate what you've given me, the protection, clothing, food, books, a bed, everything I could need. . .
The thing was… all Brenn had to do was ask. He just had to ask, and Sebastian wouldn't have freaked out. He just had no idea where Brenn had been, he… Sebastian shook his head a bit. He sat up, letting Moose sit on his finger. He pet Moose again, letting out a soft sigh.
"Let's get you back to him, then…"
Brenn stepped out from around the corner, "It's okay, he can stay with you, but only if you'd want him to. It's okay by me." He said quietly, a slight smile on his face, "It's good to see you smile again."
Sebastian looked up when Brenn spoke, that weak smile still on his lips.
"I see, I see… Then I think it'd be nice to have him around for a bit more." Sebastian looked down at Moose, a soft blush on his face from the last thing Brenn said.
"It's good to feel nice enough to be able to…"
Brenn cocked his head slightly, "Able to what?" He said as he moved over to the couch sitting down next to him, "I, uhm I'm really sorry. . ." He started, "I uhm, I apologize about running yesterday." He said looking over at him, "I didn't want to hurt you, I really care about you."
"Able to smile…" Sebastian looked up at Brenn when he sat down. He took it a small breath when Brenn started apologizing.
"I- I'm sorry too. I… I should have never reacted the way I did. I…" Sebastian trailed off a moment. "I really care about you too, I should have never done that."
Brenn sighed, "It's alright Sebastian, I-I understand why you did it. You were hurt, and hurt people hurt others." He gently squeezed his hand, "It's okay Sebastian, I don't want you to be upset with yourself, you did what you felt was necessary, and I forgive you for it."
Sebastian let out a soft breath.
"I… thank you, Brenn. I'll… I really will try not to be." Sebastian squeezed back, closing his eyes a moment.
"Are you sure, though..?" Sure that it was even possible to forgive him for that. Sebastian slowly opened his eyes, looking at Brenn. He still felt like shit about it.
Brenn nodded, "I wouldn't have said anyhthing if I hadn't meant it. What's the point of wasting breath? I hurt you and I'm sorry, I angered you when I shouldn't have." He said softly, looking at Sebastian, a his brow furrowed, "I must admit though your actions were rather convincing, and what you said, d-di you mean it?"
Sebastian looked away a moment.
"Which words?" He said hesitantly. He'd said so much, and half of it he didn't even remember. Couldn't. Refused to. There was so much about that day he just wanted to forget…
"Uhm, it's okay. . .Just pretend that I didn't say anything, okay?" He said with a sigh, "I just, I can tell you don't want to talk about it at all, so we're okay. . ." Brenn knew what he meant, but he didn't want to say anything about it, by the other man's body language, actions, and even just facial expression Brenn could tell that now was not the right time to speak of the things said the night before, and he knew that things would go downhill if he even breathed a word about the black and blue bruises forming on his back and other parts of his upper body. Brenn didn't even want to think about how scared he was the night before of Sebastian, how the man's deeds terrified him. He knew that it was rather unwise to try to leave, and he knew that the man's anger was all his fault, but he did understand that the man felt guilty, and that was something that no matter what Brenn said, couldn't change or justify for him.
((bump?))
Sebastian lowered Moose to his knee, still unable to look at Brenn. Instead, he focused on the bird, trying to keep his hands from shaking.
"I…" Sebastian trailed off. Did Brenn need to talk about it? He knew he had said so many hurtful things the night before, and if Brenn needed to know he didn't mean them, he could never mean them, then he could… he could bring himself to talk about it. He'd rather himself be hurt then Brenn think he was avoiding the question so he wouldn't have to answer for what he did.
"I can talk about it, if you need to. Please, Brenn…"
Brenn sighed, "I uhm, no. . .I'm fine, I don't want. . I mean, it's just, I guess. T-the whole pet thing. . ." He trailed off awkwardly, "D-do I a-actually belong to you?" He said softly, looking up at him, "I uhm, i-is that true? I uhm, I just.. I wanted to know." He said, not looking at the other man, "But, uhm, t-that was it. . . I think."
"I-I…" Sebastian trailed off. He didn't know, he really, really didn't know. Before, his answer would have been a definite no, and last night it would have been a definite yes, but now… everything was so mixed up.
"No," he finally said. No matter what his friends would say, no matter what he would say, he didn't.
Brenn smiled slightly, glancing over at the other man, "T-thank you. . ." He said softly, his thanks coming out more like a question rather than a real statement, " I really do appreciate it." Brenn moved over towards Sebastian and gently patted the other man's hand, "It's o-okay Sebastian." He added quietly, really meaning it and hoping that the other man felt that, "I mean that too, please don't beat yourself up over this."
Why did the thanks sound like a question? W-was that not what Brenn wanted to hear? Sebastian felt confused… but he let it go. He wasn't going to question Brenn's words, not this time. Sebastian finally managed to look up and Brenn when his felt Brenn's hand on his.
"I… I'll try," he said softly. He really would, too. He didn't want to upset Brenn anymore.
"O-okay." Brenn said with a slight smile, trying to show that he really was okay. He looked up at him, his hand gently squeezing it again, "I. . .I, would you like me to go?"
"I… you don't have to leave if you don't want to." Sebastian managed not to look away from Brenn this time. He squeezed back lightly. He offered a very, very weak smile.
Well, I don't want to leave. . . Brenn thought as a blush rose to his cheeks, Wait, why am I blushing, this man actually abused me last night, yet, I still care about him, and somehow, I still have feelings for him? He was oh so confused at that moment, he didn't understand a thing about himself, yet at the same time, he felt like things were fine, I don't get it. . He thought, sort of taking Sebastian's hand, You're a fool for doing this, Brenn.
Sebastian didn't understand the blush either. Was he embarrassed? …Fever? It would make more sense. Still, Sebastian sat there with Brenn and Moose, letting out a soft breath. He leaned back in his seat, looking for once that day to have relaxed a bit. Sebastian held Brenn's hand in turn, closing his eyes a moment.
Brenn sighed softly and glanced over at Sebastian, "S-sebastian?" He started, now actually looking at him, "Do you think I'm crazy?" He thought that he was at the moment, it was crazy to actually care about this man, and he knew that the other man might feel that way too, "I don't understand myself. . ."