Sterling brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek gently. “Over the phone, you sounded like you had been crying. And I wanted to see you. And I couldn’t sleep, anyway, so it’s a win-win situation,” he murmured with a shrug, smiling down at her softly.
Eden hid her arms behind her, not wanting him to see what she'd done. She leaned into his touch, closing her wet eyes. "Thank you for coming," she whispered. "Come to my room?"
“Sure, E… And is there a reason you’re hiding from me?” Sterling asked quietly, his eyes having caught the movement of her arms. He knew what she was hiding, and he didn’t like it, but he couldn’t make her stop doing it to herself. And that was hard for him, but he knew she wouldn’t appreciate his attempts.
Eden avoided his gaze, biting down on her lip again.
"I'm sorry," was all that she could offer, "I… it was an accident, I promise. I didn't mean to do it. I just… had a nightmare and… I'm sorry."
“Hey, E, you don’t have to apologize,” Sterling said softly, cupping her face in her hands. He gently tilted her head up to look her in the eyes, his own only soft. “I don’t like it when you do that, and I wish you would stop, but I know it’s hard. I know you like the pain, but is there anything else that you could do to distract yourself? Do something, call me, whatever you need to do, okay?”
"I can't help it," Eden refused to look at him, shame building up. He was so gentle, so patient, and she couldn't even stop. "It just… happens. And I don't want to disturb you, Sterling. Calling you every time I have a nightmare? That would be annoying. I have it every time I fall asleep, and I can't sleep afterward. I can't do that to you."
“Eden, if you don’t think you can call me every night, for even the littlest of things, I’m a terrible boyfriend. You can call me whenever and for whatever reason you want or need. Okay?” Sterling promised, leaning down to kiss her lightly. “If you call me a whole week straight because of nightmares, I’d be perfectly okay with that.”
"Come to bed with me," Eden said instead, tugging on his sleeve. She didn't mean anything else by it. She just wanted his arms to be wrapped around her, providing her with comfort. He didn't even ask about the nightmares, which made her relieved. She couldn't tell him what they were about. "We can… we can cuddle. Or something."
“Okay. We can cuddle,” Sterling murmured, kissing her forehead again. “Or kiss. Or both. Or do whatever you want to do. I’m okay with anything.”
Eden smiled softly, one that finally reached her eyes. "Both sound perfect," she murmured. "Come on."
Sterling wrapped an arm around her waist and followed her into her room. She hadn’t allowed him in there, yet, so he felt like she was displaying more of her trust for him but this small action.
Eden breathed heavily as she shut the door behind them. She swallowed thickly as she looked at her bed. Laying there with Sterling… that seemed more of an intimate situation than being on the couch together. Eden knew Sterling wouldn't do anything without her permission.
In the end, she couldn't do it. Eden bent down, covering her face in her hands.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I thought—I thought it was okay, but I don't think…"
Sterling blinked in surprise at her reaction, and he set gentle hands on her upper arms. “Eden, hey, it’s okay… We don’t have to be in the bed. We don’t even have to be in the room. Let’s go to the living room if that’s better for you,” he murmured softly.
"But Luke—he could come out and see us," Eden said in a weak voice. "And it's not like I don't trust you. I do. I know you won't touch me like that without my permission. Not lik—" she froze, cutting herself off before shaking her head, pretending if it was just a stutter. "I don't know…"
Sterling raised his eyebrows at her stutter. “Not like,” she had said… He wouldn’t touch her without her permission, unlike someone else. He bit back the growl that rose up in his throat at the thought, already wanting to hurt whoever it was.
“It’s okay, Eden. Really. Let’s do whatever makes you the most comfortable,” he said softly. “We can lay on the couch and not kiss, if you would prefer that. Or… maybe we could pull the pillows and blankets from your bed and lay on the floor? If that would be okay with you.”
Why was he so understanding? Eden couldn't comprehend it. It was amazing. She was far more jittery after the nightmare she had, and if their kissing escalated…
"The floor is fine," she whispered. "I'm sorry. It was better if you hadn't come…"
Sterling shook his head. “Better for me or better for you? Because I’m here for you, so you can tell me to leave any time. If you would rather I go home, I’ll go home,” he stated, removing his hands from her shoulders and holding out a hand for her to take. “I just want to help you.”
Eden didn't waste a second to take his hand, squeezing it tightly as if that small action could get him to stay with her forever. "Don't go," she pleaded, her eyes desperate. "Don't leave me alone. I need you to stay with me. Please."
“I won’t leave you. Not unless you tell me to,” Sterling promised, lifting her hand to his lips for a light kiss. “Let’s get the floor set up, yeah?”
"Thank you," Eden whispered. "But it's–it's okay. I think I'm okay. The floor is too uncomfortable, and it's cold…"
“So are we not laying on the floor, then…?” Sterling asked, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.
Eden shook her head, though she was still conflicted.
“No,” she replied softly. “I’ll be fine.”
Sterling reaches up to cup her cheeks gently. “Okay. Let me know if you get uncomfortable at any time, okay?” he murmured, pecking her lips lightly before pulling away. He nodded toward the bed and took a step closer to it.
Eden swallowed thickly before following him, running a hand through her hair and slowly climbing on the bed. She reached for the blanket she’d tossed to the corner of the bed to get to Sterling and then looked back at him.
Sterling sat on the edge of the bed and reached over to brush his thumb over Eden’s cheek. He smiled softly, scooted back further into the bed, and held out his arms for her.