forum The Strangers in the Palace (Closed)(Fantasy)

Started October 31, 2021 by @LovelyRose

tune

Ari stared at Honey for a moment, then turned back to Arquis and Rin. He managed to catch the pillow, setting it on the floor. "Yes, ah, my apologies." he said, leaving and closing the door quickly, then looking at Honey. "Done." he was laughing and a bit embarrassed for so obviously making Arquis uncomfortable.

Rin was laughing, sitting up on his elbows as he looked at the door, then over at Arquis. "I'm…not entirely sure what just happened, but I'm reasonably sure that Honey is behind it somehow." he remarked, laughing.

Honey was impressed that Ari had managed to catch the pillow, saving the scene in his memory. It would seem that he had quick reflexes. He pushed the thought aside, however, when he saw that he was laughing. That laugh was like sunshine and all the good things in the world. He blinked a couple of times, feeling oddly breathless, before smiling and looking down.

"Done indeed," he mumbled, biting his lip. His heart was pounding. He walked over to the spot he'd previously been in, this time spreading out on the floor. He rested his head on his folded arms and gestured at Ari to join. "I'm always down for a massage. Just thought I'd let you know. Oh, also, I choose truth. Not gonna let you get payback for that just yet.”

Inside the guest room, Arquis was basically having a stroke. He groaned deeply and pressed his cherry red face into his hands. His mind kept replaying the instant that Ari opened the door.

"I will never live this down," he whispered. "You will have to go on without me. I am going to perish and become a very shirtless ghost. I will haunt Honey for the rest of eternity, rattling blinds and tossing objects. I can never look at Ari in the eyes again."

Ari sat down by the fireplace again, sighing faintly. "I see." he replied, shaking his head a little and trying to think of a truth he cuold ask. "Is Honey your real name, or is it an alias?" he finally asked after a moment. He had noticed that all the people working at the hotel had some sort of themed name, and they couldn't all be their real names.

Rin reached up to cup Arquis's cheeks, bringing him in for a soft kiss. "Darling, I don't think Ari will think anything of it." they replied softly. "He is not going to mock you for anything, if that is what you are concerned about." he ran a hand through Arquis's hair. "You will be alright."

Honey tensed. It wasn't a weird question. Men asked him it all the time. Some had even offered to pay extra if he told them his real name. They said it was better that way, knowing that he wasn't lying to them. Knowing him. All of him. But he'd always declined, then distracted them with a drink, pretty smile, and shift in conversation. Not many people knew his name because he'd run into debt in the past, and if those people ever caught up to him, he'd be in trouble. He and Lovey had outrun them a long time ago, but still. Better to be safe than sorry.

"Nah, it's not my actual name. Someone gave it to me, I think. Said my lips were sweet as honey. He started calling me that, and someone else heard. It just kinda caught on, I guess." He liked the nickname. Other people thought it was hot, but he'd always found it kind of cute. It reminded him of bumblebees and crunchy, sticky honeycomb.

There was a silence as he studied Ari. For some reason, he felt like he could trust him. It was silly. It was dangerous, even. But he found his mouth opening again nonetheless.

"Henri. That's my real name. It's Henri." He hadn't heard it in a long time. Even Lovey called him Honey. "It's pretty close to Honey, but it's just different enough to be safe."

Arquis accepted Rin's kiss with a sigh. "I know. I just was not expecting that, and I… I do not like it. When others see me. When I am observed in such a state without my say in the matter." He closed his eyes, blocking out the candlelight. "It reminds me too much of when I was younger. My doors did not always have locks."

Ari listened, giving the blond a soft smile. "Henri." he said softly, slowly, taking his time forming the shape of the name. "It's a lovely name. Thank you for telling me." he could tell it had been hard for Honey– no, Henri –to tell him, and he wanted to reassure Henri that it was alright. "And…I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to." he smiled again, gaze resting softly on Henri.

Rin nodded slightly. "I am sorry, my darling. I am sorry that it brought back bad memories." he said softly, holding onto Arquis, touch soft and gentle.

The blond was visibly conflicted. A shadow of something had come over him, and he stared numbly at the fireplace for a bit. It felt like a darkness had been set loose within him, curling its tight claws around his heart. This was different than the panic that had seized him earlier. This was guilt.

"I'm not Henri anymore," he mumbled, then groaned, dropping his forehead against the carpet. It hurt to say, but it was true. Henri was the boy he'd been before. Wildly angry and stubborn, reckless and far too trusting. He'd walked shoeless on the outskirts of towns just like this one, staying up for days to find small jobs for himself and Lovey, accidentally getting in scraps with neighborhood kids. He'd been brave but not fearless. He'd sprinted through rainstorms and laughed as he shoplifted and made bets that he couldn't afford.

Henri and Honey were not the same person.

If his childhood self met his current self, he would've hated him. Henri was young and constantly dying, but Henri was free. Honey had some money, but he was caged in his life.

Survivor's guilt. Wasn’t that what this feeling was called? He was ashamed of all the things he'd done to survive. He felt dirty, like every derogatory term he'd been called had crawled under his skin and made a home there. He wondered if he bathed for long enough and scratched his skin raw if his sins would wash away, or if they were forever part of him like his newest scar.

In the other room, Arquis drew closer to Rin, kissing him slowly and softly. His lips parted to explore them, and he sighed when it was over.

"It is alright. The feeling was only temporary." It was much easier, he was finding, to shake things off when he was not at the Palace. The memories still bothered him, but they felt more like nightmares. Here, in bed with the love of his life, things were wonderful.

Ari reached out to gently touch the blond's hand. "What would you prefer I call you, then?" he asked softly. "Henri, or Honey?" he didn't want to upset the young man on the carpet any more than he already was. The best way to do it was to give him a choice. Henri, or Honey? "Whatever you decide, you can change your mind later if you want to." he hoped this was the best way to do this. He just wanted to help.

Rin nodded slightly, returning the kiss. "Good." they said softly, kissing Arquis again. "Are you going to be alright, then?" they wanted to make sure this event didn't send Arquis spiraling again; they didn't want to see him hurting again, even if it was temporary.

The blond sucked in a sharp, almost painful sounding breath and shuddered. That wasn't a question he'd ever been asked. Nobody had ever given him a choice. Henri had gone in the suite of a stranger and come out Honey. He'd died in the bed of another man and been reborn, for better or for worse. He lifted his head and pressed his cheek to his forearm. If his eyes were closed, it would almost look as if he were resting, but he was just thinking.

"Henri has been gone for so long. I don't think I could ever be him again." There was a nearly tangible pain in his voice. He hated what he was saying because he didn't want to believe it. Part of him had always thought that Henri would return. If he just saved up enough money, if he just worked hard himself a bit harder, then one day he could leave and become pure. But his mistakes clung to him like the scent of smoke on cloth; they would always linger, no matter how hard he tried to cleanse himself.

Arquis shifted in the guest bed and kissed him after they finished speaking. He smiled when he moved away for air. "I believe so. It was an unpleasant surprise, but really, I think I am fine." The fact that the lights were dim—and he was under the covers—was helping. He didn't have to look directly at himself.

Ari listened quietly, and gently took the blond's hand. "So do you want me to call you Honey?" he asked, watching the blond without any judgement in his gaze. "Or, if you like, I can call you Henri." he thought for a moment. "Or, I can call you Honey until you feel comfortable reclaiming Henri as your own."

Rin nodded again, giving Arquis another soft little smile, pressing soft kisses to his cheeks. "Good." he replied, voice soft. He wrapped his arms around his lover, beaming up at him.

(idk why but out of most of the scenes we've written this one feels like one of the saddest to me?? like :[ )

Every time they said Henri aloud, a shiver ran down his spine. It sounded so lovely in their accent. He wanted to hear it over and over again. Henri, Henri, Henri. But it should not have brought him so much joy. It was not his name, after all.

"Honey is fine," he answered, and it felt like a disappointment. There was nothing wrong with the name. As he'd thought earlier, he really did think it was sweet. It was also, however, the name that men snarled and growled and spat as they claimed him. Myr was especially fond of it. Honey, he'd call, sweeping his hand under the blond's chin. Honey, we're not done yet. Honey, have you been seeing someone else? Honey, don't make me hurt you. Look what you made me do to you, Honey. Look what happens, Honey, when you don't behave. Don't cry, Honey.

In the bedroom, Arquis rolled in the sheets so that Rin was on top of him, his own smile dazzlingly bright. He had that sudden feeling, that surge of adrenaline that came with being young and in love. It made him feel drunk and ditzy. He laughed unevenly, nuzzled into his partner, and then laughed even more when he felt their arm shift against him. Apparently, he was a bit ticklish. He blushed all over.

(true tho :( )

Ari nodded slightly. "Alright. I'll call you Honey, then, unless or until you ask me to do otherwise." he replied softly, running his thumb over Honey's knuckles to try and reassure him a bit. "Alright? I'm not going to judge you or be upset with yuo if you change your mind." he gave the young man a soft smile.

Rin smiled down at his lover, leaning down to kiss him. He loved being like this, loved being with his lover, just cuddling and spending time together. It was probably one of his favorite things right now.

Honey grit his teeth and nodded, exhaling slowly. The feel of Ari's hand on his was grounding, but he wondered if he could feel the tension of his muscles, the pounding of his pulse. He felt like he'd been on alert for a long time and hadn't been able to relax. Everything ached in a dull way. The alcohol from their meal was wearing off, leaving him with a headache.

He glanced over and saw the young man's smile. For some reason, it hurt to be on the receiving end of it. He didn't feel like he deserved it after all that had happened that day. Maybe Henri would deserve it, if he was still around. Maybe Henri would've told Myr off, slapped his hand away, sent him packing. Honey had let it happen.

"Ari?" he said in a shaky way. "Can I give you another dare?" His eyes were teary, but he blinked rapidly, trying to maintain control. "Can I dare you to hug me? 'Cause I think I might need it."

Arquis yawned against their neck after the kiss and smiled, letting his eyelids drift shut. Beds felt so warm and cozy with them beside him. He couldn't imagine sleeping on his own anymore; the experience would be ruined for him. He placed his head on his partner's chest and listened to the steady thump of their heart until he was close to sleep.

"You don't have to dare me for that." He replied softly, moving closer to Honey and wrapping his arms around the blond, holding him close. "It's going to be alright." his voice was soft and gentle and sweet, and he knew that Honey just needed someone to hold and stay with him right now.

Rin shifted a little bit, snuggling closer to his partner and giving Arquis a soft, happy little smile. "Love you." he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Arquis's shoulder. He knew that their partner was close to sleep right now, so they didn't try to wake him or speak too loudly.

Honey wasn't quite crying, but his chest began to spasm as he drew in heaving, agonizing breaths. He couldn't hug Ari tightly. All of his energy was in keeping himself together, so his embrace was weak, his hands unable to even grasp onto his shoulders. He tucked his face into the crook of his neck until he felt steady enough to speak. Even then, he didn't fully lean away, only raised his head so that they were seeing eye to eye.

"I'm real sorry. And I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry, I know people get on me about that, but, uh, I don't know. I don't think I'm okay?" That last part was meant to be a statement, but it came out like a question. He let out a faint sound, as if he'd stepped on something sharp, and retreated all the way back into the safety of Ari's embrace. "Sorry. I know that was a lot to throw at you at once. Didn't mean to make things so bleak. Again."

"Mm. Love you. Love, love, love you." Arquis nuzzled his nose into their stomach. He was in that stage where he would slip into dreams at any moment, which meant he was basically speaking nonsense. It also meant that he said whatever was on his mind, which was why he mumbled, "Ring. Need ring."

Aru held onto him. "You don't need to be sorry, and you don't need to be okay." he replied softly, gently rubbing Honey's back. "It's alright, Honey. Please don't be…don't be upset about being upset." he hoped that that made sense. He hoped that what he was saying made sense, in some small way. "I promise you, I am not mad at you."

Rin blinked. "What do you mean, love? Why do you need a ring?" they sounded a little amused, but loved this sleepy, sweet mumbling that Arquis was doing. They really did love it.

Honey understood what he was saying, but he was having a hard time forming a response. That headache was turning into a real beast. He held onto Ari for a few minutes more, his feelings brewing like a storm inside, before letting go. It wasn't that he wanted to move away, but he really had meant it when he'd said that he hadn't wanted to darken the evening.

"That happens sometimes," he said awkwardly, clearing his throat. To avoid looking him head on, he reached out to the nearest armchair, snatched a pillow, and set it in his lap. He pretended to examine it from all angles before wrapping it in a hug. It was pitiful in comparison to the real one he'd had just prior, but it felt good to just hold something. He rested his chin on top of it and looked at the fire.

"I wish I could control myself more than I actually can. But I can't. One minute I'll be fine, and the next I just, like, y'know." He made a gesture with his hands, hoping that he'd understand. "Ophia once said that people are kinda like glass. They can take a lotta heat and pressure as they're growing, but too much'll make them bend and break. Sometimes, you'll get cracks you won't even know are there, and one day you'll just burst without warning. I don't know. It's kinda an odd metaphor or whatever."

In the guest bed, Arquis opened his eyes just a sliver of the way and smiled earnestly at his lover. It was overtly clear that he was pretty much sleep talking. His voice was slurred and soft.

"Marry you," he mumbled, as if it were obvious. His eyelids drooped once more, but he wasn't all the way asleep. In a very pleased tone, he repeated, "Marry you, love."

Ari watched Honey quietly, nodding faintly. "I see." he said, voice soft and sweet and gentle. "I am sorry, Honey, that…that you feel this way." he wasn't quite sure what else to say about it. How else to phrase it. "But, it is alright. I promise. I am not upset that you sometimes need more care."

Rin smiled, pleased by the idea even though they knew that they had been the one to originally bring it up. "I see." they kissed Arquis's cheek softly.

Honey's lips thinned. He squeezed the pillow, dreading what he was about to say.

"Listen, Ari, you don't gotta be here. I mean, I appreciate it. Really, I do. You're fun, and you seem like a real good person. But you don't gotta feel like you're responsible for me just 'cause I've been through some shit. You know what I'm saying? When I was saying all that stuff earlier while we were eating, what I really meant was that you can probably do better. You don't gotta be the one to care for me. It's awful work."

A muscle worked in his jaw as he spoke. He didn't want this all to be a quick fling, a brief, meaningless thing, but he'd understand if that's all he wanted. Now that Ari had seen what he was really like—had seen that he wasn't all jokes and witty, flirty banter—he'd understand if he walked away. What fun was it to be with a man who broke down uncontrollably? How attractive could he really be when he was having a panic attack?

Behind closed doors, Arquis sighed dreamily and pulled his partner in. His hand slipped under their shirt to cup his bare shoulder. He tried to kiss him, but it was more of a drag of his lips on their jaw, followed by a yawn. His other hand found one of theirs, and he brought it to his lips. He left another sort of kiss at the base of his ring finger.

"Here," he whispered. "Right here."

Ari thought about that for a long moment. He really did, turning it over in his mind. Then, he spoke. "I don't mind it, Honey. Everyone's got harder times, and, ah, I don't mind being here for you for yours." he cleared his throat faintly, giving Honey a soft smile. "I really don't mind, Honey."

Rin hummed softly, returning the kiss with a soft one of his own. "Yes. We've rather forgotten to wear our fake rings, but ah, I think I would rather have real ones."

"What if I mind?" Honey gave the pillow another squeeze, unable to look at Ari. His voice was so quiet that he could barely be heard over the crackling of the hearth. "I don't want you wasting your time. Sure, I'm entertaining for a bit, and I'll do pretty much whatever you want me to, but, like, you deserve something good. Someone good."

He wasn't sure why he was saying it. He really did feel that way, but he also didn't want to push Ari away. After everything he'd suffered, didn't he deserve something nice? Didn't he deserve someone who would give him soft smiles and hugs? Maybe not. Maybe that was why he was fighting him so hard on this subject—his subconscious was telling him the truth.

Arquis dropped his hand to their stomach and gave it a fond pat. "Mm. Not fake. Never. Only the best for you, love." He laughed, but it turned into a yawn. His fingers stroked their abdomen almost of their own accord; he was so sleepy that he was moving without really thinking. "Abs. Good abs."

Ari's gaze rested softly on Honey, a bit of pity and a soft sadness in his gaze. "I've had relationships before, Honey, and they don't always work out. Sometimes you're the wrong person, and sometimes it's just the wrong time. And I don't know what this is, but don't doom it before it can get started." he said, taking a deep breath.

Rin laughed at his lover's actions and words, kissing Arquis's forehead. "Thank you, darling, now go to sleep, alright?" he said, laughing quietly.

Honey's chest rose and fell a couple of times before he responded. "I haven't. Been in a relationship, I mean." When he finally glanced at Ari, there was something tired about his expression, like he'd already been rejected. In reality, it was quite the opposite. The young man was giving him so many chances, but he was struggling with the idea that he could be wanted for anything more than his body.

The pillow tumbled out of his lap to the carpet. He didn't bother with it, just pushed it to the side. Myr's words circled in his head. He wasn't relationship material. There was something wrong with him. His best trait was his body, and it belonged to a man that showed him no mercy. Myr had said other stuff as well, stuff that had really sent him into a dark place. He'd said that Honey was only worth the pleasure he could bring. He'd said that if Honey wasn't going to keep working, then he had no reason to live. His existence would be pointless, so he might as well end it. And Honey knew that Myr was prone to speaking impulsively. What he said was irrational. But the man had always been good at getting under his skin.

"I've never been on a real date," he said softly, embarrassed. Nobody he'd slept with had ever bothered with formalities. Some bought him pretty things, and some would get him dinner or drinks, but they'd never wanted to leave the inn. Or if they did, it was to show off, not for romantic purposes. "Earlier, when Rin made that comment about wanting to, uh, what was it? Wine and dine? When they said he wanted to do that with Arquis instead of me, it kinda hurt, I guess. Not that I actually wanna date them, I just got my hopes up."

Speaking of Arquis, the nobleman shook his head with surprising conviction. "Not tired. Want to stay up with you. Talk about wedding. Dresses? Who wears the dress?"

Ari listened quietly, keeping his gaze on Honey as he listened to what the other man was saying. "I see." he said softly. "Well…Rinlos wanted to go out with his partner, which is understandable. It isn't that they don't care for you, it is only that they wanted to wine and dine their partner." he took a breath, thinking for a moment. "If you would like, I would be willing to take you out. Wine and dine you, so to speak. If, ah, that would be something you would be interested in?" he tucked his knees to his chest, watching Honey quietly.

Rinlos laughed a little bit. "Both of us, or neither of us, or whoever wants to." they replied, smiling at their partner. "Why? Would you like to wear a dress?" his voice held no judgement as they asked the question; they were sure that Arquis would look lovely in a dress.

Honey sighed when he heard the first part of what he was saying. "I know, and I wouldn't really wanna go out with them. He and dreamboat make a good couple. They're cute together. I've just always wanted to-” He stopped, processing the rest of his words. Heat flooded his face. "Oh. Do you really mean that? You don't gotta. If it's, like, a pity thing, I don't really want that. But if you actually mean it, then, uh, well. That would be good. Fun. I'd like it. Maybe not the wine part. I know I messed up while we were eating, but I really am trying to stay clean, and, uh, yeah. Dinner, though? Or breakfast. Or lunch! Brunch? I'd be fine with anything, as long as it's with you."

Rambling. He was rambling again. He stopped speaking and smiled so hard that his dimples appeared. There was a genuine glow about him that emphasized his youthful energy. Lovey had been on a lot of dates in the past, and she used to spend time telling him about how sweet her partners had been, how much fun they'd had. He'd always wanted to try it out, but nobody really wanted to date him. It was silly, but he wasn't sure he could take it if Ari had been joking or pranking him. His heart would've broken right then and there.

Arquis's eyes opened, this time all the way, and he stared up at his partner. His gaze was innocent and a bit frightened.

"I have never seriously considered it before. Men are not allowed to wear dresses in Anvillea, or at least not noblemen. It is considered shameful." He remembered the ordeal about the skirt and carefully considered his wording. His hand snuck down to squeeze at his hip. It wasn’t even conscious at this point; he was just so used to the motion that it was second nature. "I think I would look poorly in one. I do not have the, ah, figure for it. But you look wonderful in whatever you wear, my heart."

"They are a cute couple." Ari agreed, then nodded. "I'm serious. You seem like a sweet, earnest person, and I should like to get to know you better. And, we can go out for lunch or dinner, whichever you would like. Though, yes, I would agree that we should steer clear from alcohol. That may not work out for the bset." he smiled happily at the sight of Honey's adorable dimples; the blond was gorgeous, Ari knew that already.

Rin caught the little squeeze, and reached down to take Arquis's hand, threading their fingers together. "You would look wonderful in one, darling. We would just have to find one that worked for your figure, just as anyone else would." he smiled at his lover. "If you would like to wear a dress, then we can work on that. We can find you a dress, my love."