Rin came out of the bathroom, setting his bag on the floor. "I…appreciate the care, Arquis. And thank you for bringing me my bag, as well." they gave the nobleman a quick smile, stretching faintly. "The bath was nice as well." his hair was still damp, a few strands clinging to the back of their neck.
Arquis studied him for a beat, his blue eyes following the beads of water that slid down their neck. He tore his gaze away and gave them a nod.
“I am very glad to hear it. If it were an ordinary occasion, I would be offering to show you more of the Palace’s luxuries, but I am afraid that we do not have that freedom.” He looked down. For some reason, he could feel his pulse hammering away in his chest. “It is quite a shame. A lot of the Palace is quite beautiful to observe. Not every part, but I do find the library rather lovely.”
He dipped their head faintly. "It is quite alright. I would enjoy seeing more, but I understand that that is not possible." they gave Arquis another soft smile. "Libraries are wonderful, but I understand." he laughed a little bit, running a hand through their hair again. His hand came away damp.
“They are wonderful, aren’t they?” he murmured, entranced by the state of his hair. He had to wring his hands together to stop himself from brushing it away from their forehead.
When he realized that he was staring, he swallowed and looked at the floor. “Libraries, I mean. Quite wonderful. And ours is rather well-stocked, though I am always searching for more copies to add to it. I myself do some book binding and repairs, and, ah-“ He cut himself off, embarrassed at his rambling, and sighed.
Rin laughed quietly. "Yes. I do not get the chance to visit them often, as I am on the move so much, but I enjoy reading when I get the chance to." they said, drying their palm on their pant leg. He smiled again, looking at Arquis.
Arquis bit his lip and stood suddenly. The movement made him a little dizzy, though it was much more manageable than before. He started towards his shelves, though his shoulder bumped his harp, and he startled. The strings of the harp made an almost unnoticeable sound. He tried not to look at it as he kept on forward.
“I do not get to do much reading anymore, either,” he admitted, fondly brushing his fingers down the spines of a stack of books. “I have not truly enjoyed a book for some time now. There have been lecture notes and letters and such, but the last time I really found one pleasing was when you read to me.”
Their gaze flickered to the harp at the sound it made when Arquis bumped it, then his eyes moved back to Arquis. "I see. I enjoyed reading for you, even if some of the more antiquated words of your language were…difficult for me to fully understand." he could remember tripping over a few different unfamiliar words.
Arquis turned around and, more out of necessity than anything, spread his arms out on one of the shelves. His elbows and forearms were practically propping himself up, as he was placing almost his entire body weight onto them.
A stray bit of sunlight from the window caught in the crook of his neck. As he breathed, it shifted upwards, setting his blue eyes alight. He bit his lip again before breaking out into a smile.
“You did wonderfully, Rin. If I had not already known, I would never have guessed that the book was not in your birth language. I am sorry, however, if it was difficult to read.”
Rin caught their breath very faintly as the light caught over Arquis, playing through the nobleman's eyes and across his throat. "It was not that difficult, I only stumbled a few times." They replied, approaching Arquis. They didn't come too close, but they were closer than they had been, that was for certain.
Arquis’s smile blossomed, and his eyes tracked their movements as they walked over. He dragged his hand through his hair, unconsciously mimicking Rin’s earlier actions. Sometime in the near future he would have to get a haircut. It had grown slightly longer than he liked it. He let his hand wander down to his neck, where it unknowingly traced the edge of his jaw.
That weird feeling in his chest was back; it seemed to grow with proximity to Rin. He could not seem to remember what they had been talking about. Everything felt light. Perhaps, he thought, it was a lack of air. He tugged loosely at his tie until it came undone, but that did not solve the problem. It did not really feel like a problem at all.
“My apologies, what were we discussing?” he asked breathily, his voice sounding unfamiliar to his own ears.
Rin took a deep breath, faze moving away for a moment. "Ah…the poetry. Language." He replied slowly. Their hair was still drying, and was faintly wavy from the damp. It was always like that after a bath or shower, or if there was high humidity. Their own voice was quiet as well, and they took another faint step closer without quite meaning to.
“Right,” Arquis murmured, taking them in, “of course. Poetry.”
He leant forward without meaning to, tilting his head ever so slightly to the side. His unfastened tie brushed against one of the buttons on his vest as he adjusted. He was still a little surprised that he was taller than Rin, even after spending a fair amount of time with him, and he had the strangest urge to lift their head with his fingers.
If his heart had been racing before, it was nothing compared to how fast it was going then. He could feel his pulse beating in his temples and hands and feet, and it encouraged him to do something, anything. But he kept his composure.
He gestured to his shelves with a free hand. “Do you see anything you like?” His voice was low and unsteady. “You could take one, if you so desired.”
They were close enough now that Rin knew all it would take was for him to lean forward, and they would be kissing. They cleared their throat faintly, trying to banish that thought from his mind. Arquis was his host and nothing more. They knew that. He looked at the books on the shelves, eyes flickering along the covers. They rolled up the sleeves of their own shirt, suddenly feeling a bit too warm. "Ah…I am unsure yet." They replied, gaze meeting Arquis's for a long moment.
Arquis eventually let his gaze drop, and it caught on their exposed forearms. A soft sigh escaped his lips. They were so much closer than he had thought; he could actually feel their body heat. He would just have to move forward. That was all it would take, and then he could kiss him. He let the scene play out in his head for a flash of a second, imagining tangling his hand in their hair and kissing him senseless. But that would definitely cross a line, wouldn’t it? What if he didn’t want it? What if it upset them? He couldn’t bear it if he hurt him.
Still, they were so close. And hadn’t Rin been the one to come closer? Perhaps not. He couldn’t remember much of anything anymore. It was hard to focus.
”Rin,” he whispered. That was all he said; that was all he could think of to say.
Rin's gaze remained on Arquis's as he did his best not to move forward again, not to close that gap between them. "Yeah?" he breathed in response, their eyes dipping to the nobleman's mouth for only a moment before moving back to his eyes again. This was such a bad idea. For so many reasons. Arquis was an Anvillean noble, and Rin was…Rin was part of the Kevran monarchy. Rin was a bastard, and Arquis was…well, not, as far as RIn knew.
Arquis bit down on his lip and willed himself to stay still. The tone of their voice almost convinced him otherwise. He was almost grateful for all the years of holding back. They had taught him control, if nothing else.
“I do not know what you want.” So much for control. He was breathing deeply, and he was certain his words were shaky. “Tell me. Please tell me.”
He knew what he wanted. It was both awe inspiring and terrifying that they had broken down his walls so quickly. He had only known them for a few days, yet he wanted to kiss them so badly that it almost hurt. Logically, he knew he shouldn’t. They had a long trip to take over the next few days. He didn’t want to complicate things. That was what he should have been thinking, but his mind and body both told him otherwise.
"How can I, when I don't know what I want either?" He said softly in reply, eyes still gazing straight into Arquis's, uncertain. He knew what they wanted but at the same time, they knew they should not want this. They could not have this. They did not want to break Arquis's heart when they inevitably left, for Rin could not stay here indefinitely. He had to get home someday. Had to talk with his father.
That made him hesitate. He pulled himself flatter against the shelf, attempting to give them some space. His mind protested, but he didn’t listen. Perhaps he had let his perspective skew everything. Perhaps he had imagined it all. He nervously tugged at the end of his tie and looked away.
“Oh. Have… have I misread the situation again?” he asked quietly. The thought saddened him. Was he truly so desperate that he had pushed them into this? He hadn’t meant to confuse him.
They blinked, shifting back a little as well to give Arquis space. "I…that is not what I meant, Arquis, it is only that I do not know that this is a good idea." He said in a quiet tone. "We are from quite different walks of life, and…and I shall have to leave eventually. I cannot stay here with you forever." They watched Arquis, gaze never leaving him.
“Oh,” Arquis replied softly. His heart, which had been pounding away, now felt as if it had sunk to the bottom of his stomach. He couldn’t hide his disappointment, which had begun to blend with an acute sort of sadness. This, he reminded himself, was the sort of thing that happened when he let down his guard. It was always lovely for a little while, and then he ended up devastated. He was not meant to have nice things. Not after what he’d done.
“If it is simply a matter of distance, then, well, I used to take trips. I could travel to see you.” Even as he offered it, he winced. It sounded needy; pathetic; a miserable attempt from a desperate man. He sighed. “I would if you wanted me to, Rin.”
Rin closed their eyes for a moment. "I don't know if that's wise. There is…too much about me and my life that I have not told you, that…" He shook their head faintly, lip catching between his teeth for just a moment. "Besides, I live in Kevra, when I live in a single location. It's…it would be a very long trip." He wanted this. Wanted to kiss Arquis now and damn the consequences, but neither of them could afford that. Arquis was not some sweet farm boy from a village; he was the heir to a powerful Anvillean family. Rinlos themself was not simply a wandering bard; they were the bastard son of a king, that still hoped to be made heir someday.
“I understand,” Arquis responded gently, though his eyes shone with pain. “I really do, Rin. And I will accept your declination, if that is what this is. Just tell me clearly. Tell me that you do not wish to try for more, or that you do not want to pursue anything any further, and I will accept your answer. But if there is any part of you that wishes to spend these next few weeks as more than acquaintances or friends then please say so.”
He had to take a moment to breathe; he hadn’t stopped for air. The breath he took in was shuddering and slow.
”This does not have to be anything bigger than we make it. It could last an hour, a day, or a week. Or it could not exist at all. But I need you to be honest and tell me what you are feeling. What you truly want. Because I am willing to make it happen, family and distance and the rest of the world be damned.”
Rin opened their eyes again, watching Arquis with a soft, still slightly uncertain gaze. They cautiously reached out to take one of Arquis's gloved hands in their own. "I am only worried what would come after. I do not wish to break your heart, and I do not wish to break my own, either." they said in a soft voice. "We can both go into this as clearheaded as we want, but someone will fall harder than we mean to." they had to resist the urge to cup Arquis's cheek with their free hand.
Arquis let them take his hand, and he traced along their knuckles with his thumb. As if reading his mind, he lifted their joined hands to his own cheek and let them stay there for a moment.
“I have lived so much of my life in fear of what will come next,” he whispered. His vision had gone blurry, and he laughed tearfully. “And it has only ever made me miserable. If you see this as anything worth pursuing, Rin, then please do not let the future hold you back. We could figure something out. I just need an answer. Please, give me an answer.”
Rin gently stroked his thumb against Arquis's cheek, looking up at the nobleman. "We can…we can give this a try." he said softly, hoping he would not regret this, hoping that this would turn out alright for the both of them. "Us, I mean. If that is something that you desire to do as well."