forum The Strangers in the Palace (Closed)(Fantasy)

Started October 31, 2021 by @LovelyRose

tune

"You are already ill." they replied bluntly. "This is less food than I generally eat in a meal, love, and I am shorter than you." he kept his gaze resting levelly on Arquis. "So, I would like you to try your hardest to eat the entire plate, starting with the heavier, more nutritious foods. The bread is for last, not first. I don't want you filling up on just dry bread, and then telling me you can't eat any more." because he knew that was what Arquis would do; he would fill up on that bread and then say he could not eat anything else, that he was full.

Ari's cheeks flushed, and he ducked his head with an embarrassed smile. "Oh. I, uhm…" he let out a flustered laugh. "I guess so?" he looked up at the two, then ducked his head again, biting his lip and shaking his head a little bit. He didn't know how to respond to all of this, to their compliments.

Arquis deflated. They had him all figured out. He didn't know what else to do or say. In all honesty, he was terrified. He didn't want to eat everything on that plate, and he didn't want to see Rin's face when he inevitably failed.

"I…" He cut his protest off short. The aroma of the food had finally reached him, and he sighed. It did smell nice. Once upon a time, he'd eaten food just like this without hesitation, savoring the scent and taste. He hadn't worried about the potential consequences. He'd just eaten for the love of eating and to nourish his body.

"I think I was lied to," he murmured. His hand was holding a fork that he hadn't remembered picking up. He looked down at it. "As a child. The adults around me always said that I was a heavy child. But now I wonder if I actually was. And I wonder why that would even matter. I ate when I was hungry. I was happy. I think they took that from me just to be cruel. Just to make me hurt. I am not willing to hurt for them any longer.”

——

Honey's lips curved in an attractive grin. Slyly, he stage-whispered to Kit, "And he's modest, too."

Kit faux swooned. She seemed glad that the initial awkwardness of the whole rejection had blown over. Joking around was much more in her comfort zone. She laughed and gave Ari a playful smile that was shortly accompanied by a wink.

"You're really quite the catch." Someone called her name from across the room. She pouted. "Man, I've got to run off. You two have fun, now. When you're ready to go, just leave the total for the tea on the table. I'll be by to collect it after you leave. You don't have to pay for the scones, since they were a gift. People already paid for them."

Rin listened quietly, eyes softening at Arquis's words. "I…if I had to guess, you were a normal kid. A lot of kids are heavier, it's normal for kids to have some chub and baby fat. And even if you did, it should never have been something you were shamed for." he said quietly, reaching out to touch Arquis's hand and help comfort him. "I am sorry that that happened to you. That the adults in your life were so cruel to you."

Ari covered his face with a hand, still flushing. "Thanks." he mumbled, watching her go and then looking over at Honey, still blushing. "I'm ready to go now." he said, laughing a little bit and still clearly embarrassed, red-cheeked and flustered. "You two are incorrigible."

Rather than responding, Arquis took their hand and brought it to his cheek. He held it there for a bit. The feel of skin-on-skin contact was wonderfully grounding. He could almost lose himself in it. Almost. Unfortunately, his issues weren't so easily shaken. But that didn't mean he couldn't start to work on them.

He picked up that fork again and observed his plate. Fruit would be easiest, and it didn't fill him that fast. He ate a couple of pieces of cubed melon, some apple slices, and a handful of berries. After that, he had some steamed broccoli with almonds. It was covered in a creamy sauce. He was tempted to wipe it off with his napkin—these types of sauces were typically very rich—but stopped himself. It tasted amazing. Incredible, really.

"I sometimes forget that it can taste this good," he admitted quietly in between bites. Already, a tiny bit of color had come back into his face.

——

"But fair. Incorrigible but fair," Honey pointed out, smirking. He pulled out the coins he'd stuffed into his pocket and slapped them on the table. It was only enough for the tea. He frowned. "Hey, uh, not to be, y'know. Any chance you've got money for a tip? She's been really fun."

He personally knew how hard it was to get by on a tip-based job. Kit seemed like a genuinely bubbly personality, but he knew she probably had days where it was difficult to muster up that level of energy. If he could, he'd give her a massive tip. Make those rough days a little easier. But he just couldn't afford it. He was out of a job and a lot of coin.

Rin got to work on his own food, smiling a tiny bit at Arquis's words. "Yeah. It tastes amazing, Arquis, and…you really should eat more, my love." he said, taking a deep breath and hoping that this was a first step on a long road to recovery. It had to be. If Arquis slid backwards…there wasn't far to slide until it was too far. Until he would die from malnutrition.

Ari nodded, pulling out enough money to cover his tea, and then setting the tip to the side as well. He made sure to give a generous tip, especially considering the fact that Kit had been so kind to them, and had given them the free scones. "I'll pay for your tea, Honey, you don't have to worry about it." he said, reaching out to gently push Honey's money back towards the blond.

"I am getting there," Arquis replied. Whether he meant in the short or long term, he wasn't really sure. He didn't think he could finish the plate on his lap. Someday, though, he might be able to eat that amount with ease. That thought made him panicked. It also made him a little proud. He wasn't going to let this kill him. He was going to fight to enjoy his life.

He finished most of the broccoli and decided to move on. There was a crispy, golden potato fan with herbs, salt, and a bit of cheese. He winced. From the looks of it, they'd baked it with garlic butter. There was basically nothing about it that was healthy.

"Can I skip this part?" he asked, gesturing in a small circle with his fork. "I will try everything else, but… but I think this might be a bit, ah…”

——

Honey's smile faltered. Determined, he pushed the money back. There was a zero percent chance that he was going to cave. Ari had already taken care of the tip. That was as much as the blond was willing to let him pay for.

"Aw, sweet thing, don't be like that. We were having a good time. I don't wanna fight again. That's no fun at all."

Rin looked up at Arquis, listening to his words. "Can, ah, you try eating just a little bit of it?" he asked. "A quarter, at least?" the calories and carbs would help Arquis's body, even if Arquis didn't want to eat it. "Thank you for being willing to eat everything else, though, darling. I know that it's a lot, and that it's hard." their words were soft and sincere as they praised hteir partner.

Ari exhaled faintly. "I don't mind paying, Honey. I'd like to pay, if you would just let me. You said you would let me pay for the scones, and now neither of us is paying for them, so let me pay for your tea instead. It seems like a good trade-off to me." plus he knew that Honey was hurting for money now, and the more of that burden that Ari could shoulder, the better.

Arquis stared down at his plate. Even a quarter of it would be too much. It wasn't made from a whole potato—the chef had cut it in half, likely giving the other part to Rin—but that didn't matter. The thing was likely covered in butter. As they'd learned with the toast, butter was difficult for him. Not impossible. Just difficult.

"Everything else," he repeated. The fact that he was getting emotional over such a little thing was embarrassing, which only made him more upset. He didn't want his partner to see him like this, even if they'd seen it before. "But not this. Please, love, I cannot. It has no nutritional value. It is just empty calories."

——

Honey's lips thinned into a line. The light, joking mood had dissipated, and now he just looked frustrated. They'd had this discussion so many times already. He didn't want to have it again.

"I said you could pay for the scones, yeah." He clenched his jaw and traced the rim of one of his coins with his thumb. "That was the deal we made. But like you said, the scones were free. Therefore, there's nothing for you to pay for. We're not gonna do a trade-off."

Rin bit his lip faintly. "Starch is good for you. And…you need the calories, love." he replied, voice still oh-so-soft and careful. "You collapsed, and your hair is falling out, ebcause you aren't eating. Some more calories cannot hurt you." his heart hurt as he looked at his partner. This was hard, for the both of them.

Ari hesitated for a long moment, then exhaled. "Fine. Fine." he replied, looking down at his hands for a moment and shrugging a shoulder. "If that's…alright. Fine." he didn't want to fight with Honey, and this was not worth it. This was not a fight he wanted to fight right now.

"I am trying," Arquis whispered, scrunching his napkin into a ball and pressing it to his mouth. He didn't want Rin to see the way his lips trembled. His shoulders shook. He wasn't crying, but he was damn near close. "I am trying to be good for you. I want to get better. I do not want my hair to fall out, or to faint, or to make myself ill. But I cannot eat this. I am sorry. I am so sorry."

It was like they were on the hill again, and Rin was carrying him to the top. Once he started apologizing, he couldn't stop. He just felt so guilty for this whole thing. For making Rin worry, for putting them through all this pain.

"I am sorry that you have to see me in such a state, and that you have to take care of me like a toddler, unable to provide for myself. I am sorry that I have caused you anxiety. I am sorry that you do not have a normal partner, one that stays happy for more than a day. I am sorry that I did not get better." At that, his breath hitched, and he forced his eyes shut so no tears would spill out. He'd cried once already. There was no way he was going to twice. "I thought I was trying. I am sorry for not trying hard enough. I wish I was not sick. I am sorry that I am."

——

Honey felt pretty bad about what'd just happened, but he wasn't going to admit that. Really, he just wanted to get up and leave, like he always did. Not this time. He was going to stay right there and deal with the consequences of his actions.

"I didn't mean to-" He cut himself off with a swear. "Listen, angel, I get it. You’re being polite. I just- like I said earlier, I've got a thing with this. I'll feel safer if I pay for myself. Maybe someday, that won't be the case, but it's how it is for right now.”

Rin reached out to take Arquis's hand, swallowing faintly. "I…I'm sorry, darling." he whispered. "And you don't…you don't need to be sorry for having problems, my love. I understand." they hadn't meant to make Arquis so upset. "I know you were trying, my love. I am still proud of you for trying, even though it has been so hard for you." he reached up to gently cup Arquis's cheek. "I am so proud of you either way."

Ari looked over at Honey, shrugging a shoulder slightly. "I…I get it." he said slowly. "I think. You're just trying to protect yourself. I'm sorry for pressuring you about it." he offered up a soft, faint little smile.

Arquis drew in a ragged, sharp gasp, like he'd puncture a lung. His brow creased as he shut his eyes more tightly. He wasn't going to cry, no matter how much their praise made him feel like weeping. He wasn't going to cry. Rin had already used so much energy to give him emotional support. He wasn't going to demand more.

"Oh, Rin. Thank you. Thank you, my dear," he murmured in a wavering voice. His eyes finally drifted open. There were tiny tears beading his dark lashes, but he'd succeeded in preventing more from falling. He leaned over and stole a soft kiss, perhaps the softest so far. Against his lips, he whispered, "My heart, my love."

——

"It's not your fault. Really, it's not. I know this isn't, like, a normal thing. Dates pay for one another all the time. I just can't let you do it yet. I won't say never, but right now, it wouldn't be pretty. It'd make me get all, uh, weird." Honey made a face and shrugged, mostly to himself. He wasn't sure how to describe it. Nervous and flustered, certainly, but he knew deep down he'd also get that need to serve him. To repay him. To make mistakes, just so that he wouldn't have a debt.

"I can't be in debt again." He cleared his throat. Last time they'd talked about this sort of thing, he'd overwhelmed Ari. This time, he wanted to keep it light. He grinned and found it was somewhat authentic. "Even for just a very mediocre cup of tea."

Rin smiled softly, returning the kiss gently. "You're welcome, my darling. And…you don't have to eat the potato, if you truly feel you cannot. As long as you eat the other things on your plate, then you don't have to eat that potato." he had wanted Arquis to eat it, but a potato was not the hill to die on. A potato was not what Rin wanted to fight about. It simply wasn't worth it, in the end. It really wasn't.

Ari nodded. "I get it." he laughed softly at Honey's final sentence, shrugging a shoulder. "And it's alright. I payed for myself and the tip, you paid for your tea." he smiled lightly at the other man. "Anything else we can do here, or are we just waiting for that basket from Kit?"

“Alright,” Arquis sighed and glanced at his plate. There was still a lot left, even if he didn't eat that item. More than he'd ever pick out for himself. He picked up his fork and poked at some roasted mushrooms with rosemary. Mushrooms were fine, as long as they didn't have a glaze, which they luckily didn't come with. He ate a couple in silence. Once again, they tasted incredible.

"I have been so much trouble today," he finally spoke. "And I know that you might be tempted to say that I have not been to spare my feelings, but, ah, I know the truth. Today has been a twisted mess of emotions, and pain, and memories, and yet you have taken care of me through it all. So I wish to know. After this—and I am assuming there will be an after this, because right now it feels like this will never end—what would you like to do? What can I do for you? I know you are stressed, and I imagine you are still rather tired as well."

——

Honey's grinned widened, and he gave them a flirty wink. His dimples were out in full force. "I can think of a few things we can do to pass the time, angel," he teased. It was clear he was joking from the purr in his tone, which he'd laid on thick. He knitted his fingers together and leaned forward to place his chin atop them.

Just as he was about to continue, Kit appeared out of seemingly nowhere. She was holding a small, cute picnic basket with a pink cloth poking out. The handle was carved with a few fake flowers and leaves. She set it down and did a double take when she saw what Honey was doing.

"Sorry, am I interrupting something?" she asked, obviously stifling a laugh.

"I'm just tired." Rin replied softly, eating his own food. "Tired and…and a little bit just…I don't know. I'm just…" he shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment. "Just tired, I guess. Emotionally and physically." he looked over at Arquis, taking a deep breath. "I love you, darling, I really do, but today has…been exhausting." they ran their hands through their hair, hoping that Arquis was not hurt by his words.

Ari returned that wink and grin, leaning forward as well. And then looked up when Kit came back, leaning back in his seat and shooting the young waitress a slightly sheepish smile. "A little, it's alright though." he replied, laughing quietly. "Is this basket for us?" he looked at it for a moment, then up at her again.

Arquis was more than a little hurt by what they'd said, but because he knew he had no reason to be, he was able to keep his expression sympathetic. He'd been suffering all day. Longer than that, actually. Rin was almost constantly playing his caretaker in regards to both his physical and mental state.

"I love you, too. And I understand. We could take some time apart, if you would like," he suggested softly. "You need to rest and worry about yourself, which you cannot do if you are looking after me. I could find somewhere else to be in the meantime. It would not have to be permanent."

——

Kit laughed awkwardly and tapped the handle of the basket. "Well, sorry! But yep! It's all yours. You can bring it back at some point, but honestly, it's out of season and looking a little worse for wear. The bottom corner's got some parts coming undone. So you could actually keep it—on the house, of course."

Honey leaned back in his chair and folded his arms behind his head. His hair caught the light, which turned it into a golden halo. It also made his brown eyes look warmer.

"On the house, huh? That's awfully sweet of you. Thanks a ton." He stood, took the basket, and began to shovel the scones in. One nearly fell onto the floor.

Rin shook his head faintly. "You don't need to leave, darling, that is not what I meant." he replied in a soft tone. "I just…need a bit of time where we're not…worrying about everything we could possibly be worried about." they cleared their throat faintly, looking down at their hands for a long moment. "That's all."

Ari looked up at her, smiling. "Thank you, Kit. That's generous of you." he said, reaching to help Honey put the scones into the basket, careful not to drop any on the floor. Once they were all in the basket, he stood up, smiling at Honey and then at Kit. "Thanks a lot, for everything." he said to the waitress.

Arquis took off his remaining glove and reached over to take their hands in his own. There was a surprising gentleness to the gesture. He bent, kissed each of his knuckles once, and then ended with a peck on their brow.

"That is precisely what I meant by my leaving, my heart. It would give you time to unwind and, ah, take a breath." He sighed, glancing down. His dark lashes brushed his pale cheeks. Privately, he was quite proud that he'd managed to keep his voice so steady. It was proof that he really wanted them to do what was best for themself. He wouldn't let his emotions sway his choice. "As long as I am here, there is going to be something to worry about. It is not fair of me to expect you to shoulder that burden all the time. You need a break."

——

Kit blushed and made a noise that was a tiny bit like a tea kettle letting out steam. Honey grinned. He teasingly knocked Ari's shoulder with his own before closing the lid of the basket. They wouldn't want the scones spilling out onto the wet streets. That just wouldn't do at all. There was no way they could give anyone at the inn scones if they were damp and covered in muck, germs, and who knows what else.

"Feel free to come back whenever you'd like!" Kit said cheerfully, after she'd regained the ability to speak. Honey waved. He then took Ari's arm with the one that wasn't holding the basket and guided him to the door.

"Darling, where would you go?" he asked. "You cannot just…go down to the lobby and wait. And you are still not doing well, I don't want you to leave and then collapse somewhere and have no one know where you are." the idea itself was terrifying and anxiety-inducing, and he didn't know what to do to dissuade Arquis from the idea. "I…" they trailed off, swallowing faintly and shaking their head.

Ari smiled over at Honey, then nodded to Kit as they walked out of the restaurant. He shot the blond man beside him a smile, gently elbowing his side. "Well, this was profitable." he said teasingly, laughing quietly as they exited out into the light rain outside. "Oh, it's raining!" he commented, looking up at the sky and squinting against the raindrops.

Arquis, hearing the distress in his tone, let one of their hands go so he could cup their face. He let his thumb drift over his temple to their cheekbone. They were so kind to him, even when he'd caused them such great anxiety. He brought him in for a kiss that was softer than silk, then pulled away so he could see them clearly.

"I could rent another room, just for the day," he suggested quietly. "It would not be unbearably expensive, and that way you would know where I am. You could do whatever you wish to do until nightfall. Perhaps return to the spa?"

He didn't add that the whole idea felt a little bit demeaning, like he was being dropped off for daycare. That would twist their judgment. And besides, it wouldn't really be all that bad, not if he had his sketchbook or a journal with him.

——

Honey grinned as he glanced up. "Yeah. It was a little earlier, I think, but it's definitely getting more intense. Feels windier, too."

There was something different about the wind this time. It wasn't damp, which was odd, considering the storm clouds gathering above. There was a cool, crisp quality to it. He hummed thoughtfully.

"Seems like that cold front might not be fully over. Might snow, if the temperature drops again. Usually, it's not this bad this early in the year. I just hope it doesn't blizzard again. Though I guess that'd mean we get to stay inside, sharing hot drinks," he smirked, "and getting cozy under the blankets, huh?"

He swallowed faintly, leaning into the hand on his cheek. "I…I would still worry, my darling. What if you were ill and no one knew?" He reached up to cover Arquis's hand with their own, touch soft and gentle. "I know that you don't mean to worry me, darling, but…I am worried nonetheless." He bit his lip for a moment, shrugging one shoulder and fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. "Even if you were in another room, I don't know that I could…stop worrying about you. I love you, darling, and…" He looked away, exhaling softly and trying just to think. He didn't know what to do. "I am sorry."

Ari nodded a little. "Well, we'll see what we do when we get back.x he replied with his own smirk, already beginning to walk back towards the hotel. Or at least, he hoped he was.

(Sorry for short length, on my phone instead of laptop)

(you're good! I typically write these on the phone, but I use a notes app to make it easier if that helps!)

"No, love, no. Do not be sorry. You have nothing to apologize for. This is all my fault, the entire lot of it. I could have prevented all of this, had I just made some different choices. I-" Arquis cut himself off and bit his bottom lip. He was doing it again, rambling on and on about himself. This wasn't about just him anymore. He couldn't continue to sink into self loathing while his partner needed him.

"You do not seem too keen on my proposed plan," he began carefully. "That is alright. It was simply an idea. Perhaps we can figure something else out. Some other way to calm your nerves, my heart. To ease your worries."

There wasn't anything specific he could think of that would help. Maybe he could give them another massage, though unlike their previous experience, he could take his time. Or he could paint on his back. Surely there was something that would work.

——

Honey paused and watched Ari walk for just a moment. His right brow arched. They'd rushed to the café, but he still hadn't expected him to forget the way to the inn so soon.

"We going into town?" he asked as he caught up beside him. There was a cheeky grin on his face, like he'd won some sort of game or prize. "Something you need to send off at the post, maybe? 'Cause this is the right way to get there."

(alright!)

He looked over at Arquis, trying to think of a way this could work. He didn't really know what to do. If he split up with Arquis for too long, they would only worry about their partner, but if they stayed together, he was not sure how he would be able to fully calm himself. He swallowed faintly, just trying to think. "I…don't really know what to do."

Ari narrowed his eyes at Honey, sighing faintly at his own mistake. "I do not, no." he replied. "I don't generally need to use the post." not as long as he knew where his letter was going. As long as he had given an envelope to the person he was sending it to, then he could just use that way. He had a growing collection of envelopes for different people, different places. It was beginning to be an issue to carry them all.

Arquis hummed sympathetically. An idea popped into his mind, and he began to consider it. While it wasn't a perfect solution, it was better than a lot of the options he'd been coming up with before.

"What if you spent some time with Honey or Ari? Assuming they are not busy, of course. The one who you do not choose to go with could stay with me, just to make sure that nothing goes too terribly wrong." He assumed Rin would probably choose Ari, since he was their best friend. Honey would make for an interesting caretaker. "And then we could reconvene tonight, after you have had some time to rest."

——

"Hm? No love letters to send off?" Honey teased, nudging him with the picnic basket. His grin grew. "Don't have any admirers back in Kevra? Not getting any on the side? I must say, that sure does make a man feel special. To be your first pick and all—you're gonna make me blush."

There wasn't a trace of a blush on his face, but he fanned it with his free hand as if it was burning. His brown eyes were bright with amusement.

Rin considered it, and shrugged a shoulder. "That could likely work, yes." he responded. "As long as they are alright with it as well, then I don't see a problem with it." a faint smile tugged at their mouth as they looked over at Arquis, and they reached out to pull the nobleman in for a soft, sweet kiss.

Ari laughed a little. "Not currently, no." he replied, smiling over at Honey and shaking his head just a little bit. "You're my first choice, thus far." his tone was light and teasing, and he winked at the blond. "And what about you, hmm? Am I your first choice, or am I the side piece?"