(np! dshbjhb only slightly related but i watched Meg 2 last week and it wasn't bad, you might like it if you liked the first one)
Cassio listened to Erix's speech with faintly narrowed eyes, looking over at him. At Erix's final sentence, he cocked his head faintly. "You'll wager, hm?" his mouth quirked to the side just a little bit as he looked to his new guard, turning the man's words over in his head. "What shall we be wagering, then?" the sword. A sword. He needed a weapon that wasn't a razor. He had stolen razors before, on the rare occasion he was left alone to shave. Usually someone was waiting in the room as he shaved, so that he wouldn't hurt himself. So sneaking out the razor was tricky, and he couldn't usually manage it with someone in the room. He did have three razors hidden away in various points of the room, but he didn't usually have the opportunity to get them out.
Besides that, a razor and a sword were not the same thing, and it had been so long since he was last allowed to hold a sword, much less use it. Gods, he missed it some days. The feeling of the weapon in his hand, the weight of it slicing through the air, the clash of it ringing against someone else's weapon during training or sparring or duels or even real fights. How long had it been since he had last touched one? His old callouses were gone now, vanished, as he hadn't had any need of them anymore, not in a long time.
He exhaled, gaze flicking to Erix's sword for a moment, and then back over to Erix's face. "Shall we wager some time with a sword?" he asked, cocking his head with a small, slightly unstable smile on his face. "I've missed having one, and if it's a wager, well… who could it hurt?" now the only question was if Cassio would be of sound enough mind to remember the wager in a month.
(I attempted to watch the first one and couldn't get past the first half hour lmao)
Erix raised a brow. He wasn't one to back down from a wager when one was set, and he had been the one to bring it up. He had been expecting something different, money perhaps, but then again, he was talking to a prince. Cassio had no need to wager money. Erix did, he needed it right now, but that was why he was here in the first place. It was a well paying job, a place to stay. That was all he wanted right now. He could get past a month. He had been on the battle field for longer than a month, dealt with worse than an 'insane' prince for longer than a month. He had nothing to worry about.
And maybe he was a little cocky that he would last longer than a month.
"Alright, Your Highness," Erix tapped the hilt of the sword at his side, "I'll take you up on that wager. If I last longer than a month you can have an hour of time with a sword a day." Not one to keep, he was sure that Marcus would have his head if he gave his brother a sword to have while he was supposedly crazy. But, if he didn't last longer than a month well, he was sure that an hour of training with a sword couldn't hurt, especially if there was someone watching him at all times. But Erix knew who he was. And he was stubborn. He was an ass and he was stubborn and he needed this job. He wasn't going anywhere. Like it or not, Cassio was stuck with him as his guard.
(oof then yeah the second one probably wouldn't be fun for you lol)
A day? Cassio had been expecting, at best, for just once and that would be it? But an hour a day? Sure, it might not be much, but when what he had was nothing, even just an hour seemed fantastic. Of course, now he wanted to lose the wager, simply because then he would get to use a sword. But, well, it would also serve as a motivator to be on good behavior. To at least try and stay in control, though that was a futile exercise that he always ended up failing in some way.
"Then the wager is set." he replied, lips twitching in a faint smile as he looked up at Erix. His new guard was a little cocky, it seemed. Good. That would just work out in his favor, ont he days where he was sound enough to think about things. Like today. Today, he was only a little bit unstable, and he oculd tell, too. The days wher ehe could tell were simultaneously the best and the worst. Because at least eh was aware of what was wrong. But at the same time, he was aware. Today was a good day to be aware, because he was still in control, but there were days where he was aware of the madness, aware of the instability, but still unable to control any of it. Those were the worst, because he always felt so trapped.
(i just love me sum sherks)
Erix wasn't worried. He had been dealing with swords all his life. He was just as much a good swordsman as the prince had once been in his prime. It also helped that he had certain magical qualities to aid if the man ever got out of hand. He never used his magic all that often anymore. During his time as a soldier and during battle he had mainly focused on practical attacks. Sure, his control over dark magic would be useful in some ways, but generally, he had been more focused on killing with the steel in his hand than anything else. It didn't help that the more he used his magic the weaker he grew, especially since his connection to dark magic was so deep. It thrummed in his veins, a calling that he tried to ignore with the properties it possessed. The whole reason why he didn't tell people when it came to the powers he held inside.
But if Cassio was to act out when it came to using the sword he wouldn't hesitate to use it against the man in order to restrain him. The moment the prince stepped out of line with the weapon he was going to take it away from him and he wouldn't be allowed it again. It all relied on the man both being on good behaviour and using it in an appropriate manner. Erix didn't want to use magic against him, and he didn't want to take away from the excitement the other might get from the wager, but his job was to protect. And if Cassio was in danger to himself or other's… he would do it. He was just worried about how Marcus might react.
But, if it got the prince on good behaviour, out of his room for at least an hour to train with a sword, surely that wasn't a bad thing? And maybe it meant that the two of them would be able to get along and talk so this wouldn't be a terrible time for either of them. It was the best he could do, and he hoped it would set the seeds of trust blossoming in the prince. Erix held out a hand for the prince to shake, "Do I get a medal for lasting longer than all your other guards?"
(shgbj sharks are cool)
Cassio stared at the offered hand for a long moment, then shook Erix's hand. "I'll see what I can work out." he replied,cocking his head a little bit. He was very much not used to having to look up so much in order to make eye contact, and it was a little bit disconcerting. Erix was so much taller than him. "If not a medal, some form of reward. I do still have some access to the treasury." his mouth slanted in a faintly crooked smile. "My brother has not taken everything from me yet." A strange, slightly cryptic statement to make, and one that it was likely Erix would not understand. It was an odd thing to say.
But then, what were the ramblings of a madman? It wouldn't be wise to put too much stock into Cassio's words, not when everyone knew that the former crown prince was out of his mind. Who knew if what he thought was reality was truly reality? Even he could not tell the difference between reality and the imaginings of his fractured mind. So his words could mean nothing at all, or they could be the truth, but who was to say?
He released Erix's hand after a moment, though he didn't move away. Instead he remained close, studying Erix for just a little longer than most people owuld be comfortable with, and then he spun around and moved away again, this time to the window. The window and balcony in his room overlooked the palace gardens, and he often watched the gardens through those windows. It was not often that he left his rooms; the only times he was supposed to leave were when he was with a caretaker or his brother, and they usually wanted to keep him sequestered away where no one could see him. That had not stopped him from sneaking out at night, but, well, that usually didn't end well for him.
Erix was so tempted to use his magic and look into the mind of the prince before him. He was more than curious as to what went on behind those too-wide eyes, what happened in his brain during those moments of torture that made him how he was now, and what happened when he returned to halt the progress he had been making to recovery. The Fae guard couldn't help but wonder what was happening, and it didn't help that he had the ability to do so. But he wasn't a complete ass. Sure, he might have been a bit of a dick half the time, but he wasn't going to invade the mind of a supposed mad prince without the other's say. He doubted Cassio would want anyone near his mind ever again. If the prince couldn't even decipher his own thoughts, how was Erix supposed to make any sense of it, even if he tried?
When the prince finally let go of his hand and turned away, Erix looked down at his palm with a frown. Cassio was odd, to say the least, but not the oddest soul he had ever encountered in his life. He couldn't tell if his own thoughts were trying to be nice about the situation or not. It wasn't his place to say or comment. Erix was simply to look after the man. Protect him. From anyone and everyone and even himself. That was the extent of his role in the palace, and he was sure that neither the king nor the prince would want him to overstep those boundaries. He rubbed at his scar, the harsh, jagged line down the middle of his face that added to his intimidating look, felt the difference in the skin texture. It only made his frown worse.
Trained eyes watched the prince move and stare out the window, and a few moments later Erix was moving to stand behind him, a little out of the way, and looked out into the gardens. His gaze moved from the window, to the prince, and back again, "Do you want to go for a walk, Your Highness?" Out into the sun, those beautiful gardens he seemed enchanted by.
"I am not," he paused for a long moment, spinning to look up at Erix, "supposed to." he laughed a little, the sound dry and hardly amused. "I am not supposed to be anywhere public, without a caretaker or my beloved brother." in days where he could grasp at his sanity, he knew something wasn't right, and he knew this madness wasn't natural. He knew, too, his brother was behind it in some way. But he was never able to quite nail down what had happened to cause all of this, before he was slipping away again.
He stared up at Erix, head cocked faintly. "But…well, you are my guard. And you still count as a chaperone." his gaze moved around the room again, landing on where his shoes sat by the door. They were clean and polished, not used enough for much wear and tear to happen. Then he looked up at Erix again, awaiting a response from his guard as to what would happen next. Sure, technically he could just order Erix to come with him, but… who knew what Marcus had told him? Who knew how much authority Cassio truly had over the man who was meant to protect him? And he didn't exactly want to find out the hard way.
He knew he had no authority over his Caretakers, and also knew that it was… more the other way around than anything else. Besides that, he had precious little authority over anyone anymore. There was too much rumor about his insanity, too much that his brother had said that kept him from being able to really speak to anyone. Anything he said was just dismissed as madness, as the ramblings of a madman with no control over his faculties.
"It would be a shame to waste the day when the sun is shining outside," Erix replied and turned with his back to Cassio. Maybe it was a bad idea to take the prince out of his eyesight but he was more than comfortable with his ability to protect himself if it came down to it. The guard walked to the door, pulling on the metal handle and opening it, "Shall we go for a walk, then? Or would you rather stay cooped up in here for the rest of the day?"
He could only assume how annoying it would be to stay inside all day. Erix found comfort in the outside, in the gardens of the world. Forests were his love. They were peaceful, relaxing and calming and if he had a choice he would probably be living out there. Realistically, it wasn't possible, but the gardens of the palace were more than beautiful and he hadn't had a chance to explore them since he was last here years ago. Even then he never really was allowed the opportunity, not when he was a soldier and his time was spent fighting or training. There was never any time off. But now he could do that. Well, he could do that with Cassio. And the prince seemed to be itching for a way out of the room and he didn't see why he couldn't leave when he was accompanied by his personal guard.
If Marcus had an issue with it then he would make sure it wouldn't happen again. But the King wasn't around, and Erix was capable. He had been assigned this position, after all, in order to guard the prince. Besides, nothing bad would happen, right? The palace was protected. And he couldn't think of a reason why anyone would attempt to attack Cassio so close after an assassination attempt had already taken place. It was too obvious. Too reckless. Erix would keep his guard up, would make sure he was able to call on his magic if needed, or his sword, but he hoped it wouldn't happen.
Cassio's mouth quirked softly, and he put on his shoes. "A walk sounds nice." he replied. He led the way from his room, turning down the hall. However, he led Erix the opposite direction of the way Erix had been brought here, further down the hallway rather than back towards the main areas of the palace. At first, it might appear that he didn't know where he was going, but then he paused at a side door, glancing back at Erix before he opened it up. This led to a small, not very grand set of stairs. "This goes down to the gardens." he said, already heading down them. He was staying close to Erix, so that his guard wouldn't think he was trying to run away, but he always wasn't sticking perfectly close to his guard's side.
The prince was far more excited for the gardens than he was quite letting on. He hated being cooped up in his rooms all the time, especially when half of the palace gardens were not even open to the public to begin with. He oculd have wandered the gardens without coming near hardly anyone but the occasional guard, and no one would have known. But instead, he was kept cooped inside of the palace, mainly confined to his rooms.
He just hoped that Marcus owuld not find out about this, and that if he did, he would not put a stop to it. But then, he wouldn't put anything past his brother. Marcus liked to make people think that he was the best possible guardian for his older brother, but, well, in practice, a lot of the rules he put in place seemed so arbitrary and without real reason. But then, maybe Cassio just didn't have the mental capacity to see that.
Erix couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself that he had managed to gain a small, hint of a real smile on the edge of Cassio's lips. From what he could already tell of the prince he didn't like the life he was living, and Erix didn't blame him. Being stuck in a room for however long he was told to, having caretakers that watched his every move, doctors and healers. Cassio had been deemed to have a perfect life before the accident, and Erix could only imagine how terrible it was now that he was called crazy and get practically locked up in his room. Sympathy wasn't something he was really well versed in, but for once the guard was able to feel a tad of it towards the prince at his side.
As they walked he took in the surroundings, making sure to remember and note all the different exits and entrances, the difference in this side of the palace compared to the main areas. He had never been allowed around here back when he had been a soldier, it hadn't been his place. Now he really had free reign to go to most places. Well, he would, if he wasn't to be by Cassio's side all the time. There wouldn't be a break for him, not unless there was someone else watching the prince and not him. Erix was more than aware that that wouldn't happen all that often.
When Cassio opened the door and the sunlight hit him Erix grimaced just a little at the bright light. For someone who delt in the dark and the shadows he had never been overly fond of the sun, it was why forests were nice due to the shade they held from the tall trees, but the gardens were stunning, and as his eyes adjusted, he felt more comfortable, "They're beautiful." He said, glancing down at Cassio before back to the rows of colourful flowers before them.
Cassio glanced back at Erix when he spoke, nodding slightly. "My parents loved this place." he said. He didn't usually talk about his parents, not much. It always dug up too many memories about everything that had happened. Too often, in his memories, even normal things were replaced by the memory of what his parents corpses had looked like. Their bodies, twisted and rotting and– he physically shook the memory off, whole body twitching as he forced it away. He knew what would happen if he lingered too long on those horrific memories.
The gardens were laid out in various ways, with passages and hedges and tall walls dividing up certain areas from each other. They were a beautiful place to wander, a beautiful place to get lost in. When Cassio had been sane, he had taken dates here a few times. They always liked that little peek into the private gardens, and he had enjoyed showing them. The gardens at dusk were beautiful too, as there were some flowers that only bloomed at night, only bloomed at certain times. The fireflies, too, would show up when the sun went down.
But for now, the sun was still high in the sky. It wasn't too hot of a day, luckily, so it was a perfectly comfortable temperature to be wandering outside in. Cassio led Erix down the paths, pace slow and wandering. He didn't have a destination in mind, more happy to be out here than anything else.
Erix kept at least one pace behind the prince at all times. He didn't want the other to feel bombarded with his presence more so than he most likely already did. At least with a few steps back he hope he wouldn't feel so overbearing. As tall and intimidating. Erix somehow doubted that impression of him was going to fade anytime soon. It never did. Not with anyone, not completely. Good in ways where he needed to use his height and stature to his advantage, bad when he was trying to provide at least some sort of comfort, in whatever way that might be. If he wanted to build at least some form of trust with the prince then he was going to need all the help he could get.
The guard rolled his sleeves to his elbows, one hand settling on the hilt of his sword a moment later. He watched as Cassio shivered, his signature frown making an appearance. He didn't comment, didn't say a word as they meandered through the gardens. Erix took in the hedges, the walls of dividing grass that rose high into the air. How many times had Cassio stared out across these grounds but been unable to visit? He assumed far too many. It was unfair, almost, that he was being held as practically a prisoner in his own home. Erix wondered what else was going on behind the scenes that he didn't know about. Maybe he could find out, if he stuck around for long enough.
"Do you have a favourite flower? Or a favourite place in the gardens?" He asked instead, taking in the rows of yellow roses. It was heavenly. Beautiful beyond anything he had ever seen. Well kept and taken care of, he silently praised the gardeners for their work.
He paused, glancing back at Erix. "Let me show you." he replied, steps quickening slightly as he started to head to a more specific place. Now he knew where he wanted to go, what he wanted to do. He led Erix through the gardens, then to a stone archway, which he led Erix through. The archway led into a hedge maze, and he paused so that Erix could catch up.
"The maze isn't too hard to navigate, but the center is my favorite part." he explained, starting to walk again. The layout of the labyrinth didn't really change, and he had the directions of it memorized. So he just… led Erix through it, not moving too fast so that Erix could keep up. He didn't want to leave him behind. Erix didn't have the layout memorized like Cassio did, and if Erix got left behind, then he might get lost. Though, that wouldn't be that bad. He'd have some moments alone, and not in his room, for once.
But he didn't purposefully leave Erix behind. No reason to antagonize his new guard on his first day. So he just… led Erix through the maze. It didn't take long before they were at the center. The center was a rounded courtyard area, with cobblestones and a tree, and a bench underneath. There were flowers, and some grassy patches too. It was secluded, and peaceful, and… it was no wonder that Cassio liked it here. A soft, pleasant place like this was perfect for a troubled mind like his.
Erix kept pace with the prince easily enough. It was easy to do when his strides were long enough that he only needed one to match two of Cassio’s with ease. He wasn’t exactly a fan of getting lost on his first day, and was more than happy that Cassio was slowing down a little for him even if he was able to match his steps. It didn’t help thst he wasn’t a fan of mazes to begin with. At least he had a good memory. If he ever lost the prince in the gardens he would know where to find him if the time ever came. He hoped it wouldn’t. He would be in deep shit if he lost the prince.
The garden was beautiful, and Erix did a small spin on his heel to take in the little courtyard when they arrived. No one could reach them there. It was a little bubble of peace away from the rest of the palace, the rest of the world. He could imagine why Cassio liked this place and it was almost a shame that he wasn’t able to come out to see the gardens and be surrounded by the peace whenever he wanted. Erix made a note to bring him back when he could, if things went well, and on days that he was more of a sane mind.
“It’s beautiful, Your Highness,” He said, turning back to Cassio, “I see why you like this place.” With the tree that provided enough shade that in the summer it would be cool enough to sit under and feel relaxed, enough grass to lie under the sun on the cooler days and warm up. A perfect sanctuary, and much nicer than being cooped up in a room all day.
Cassio looked over at Erix, watching as the taller man took in the courtyard area. "Mhm." he hummed a little bit. Every now and again, he would sneak away and come out here, but considering he always suffered the consequences for sneaking away like that, he didn't do it often. Only when he felt it was necessary to get out, to get some time alone. He looked around the courtyard area, tipping his head back a little bit to take in the sunshine that filtered down into the rounded courtyard. When he and Marcus were younger, they had spent so much time chasing each other through this hedge maze. So much time running through it and chasing after each other.
He closed his eyes, arms spread faintly. He liked being outside, liked the sunshine and nature, and he didn't get it enough. He was in his room so much, and while he could go out on his balcony, it wasn't the same as being out here, in the gardens. He stood still for a long few moments, before he took a deep breath and opened his eyes again. He headed over to one of the grassy areas, sitting down in the soft shade of the tree. That tree had been there since… well, since before he could remember. He had climbed it when he was younger, though he hadn't tried to climb it in a long time.
He reached out and ran his fingers along the bark, feeling the rough bits of it catch against his skin faintly, scratching his hands just a little. It wouldn't leave a mark, he knew that, and he liked the feeling of the bark against his skin. Just getting in touch with nature was something that he had missed. Something he always missed. It was… painfully obvious that Cassio wasn't getting enough variety, that he was cooped up so much that he wasn't getting enough of other things.
As Erix watched the prince take in the sun, the gardens, he made a note to bring him out lore often. They didn’t have to leave to leave the palace grounds, he was sure to be crucified if he even attempted to take Cassio out without the King, or a caretaker, or more guards, but simply just out his room would be enough. He couldn’t imagine the life that he lived, having to be inside all the time, being forced to stay where he was. Freedom was little when you were royal, he had heard, but even more so when you were deemed insane. His heart hurt just a little for the other. Maybe if it came out that he was more crazy than he seemed it would be different, but right now, all it looked like was a man who hadn’t been let out enough.
The guard moved slowly until he was near the tree, circling the large trunk and taking in the size of it. Long brown limbs cast shadows over the garden enough to keep them cool from the sun, even if it wasn’t too hot of a day. This was nice. Erix wished that he had had a place like this during his childhood. Instead he had spent it working and training and doing all he could to provide for his family. A part of him wondered what life might have been like if he had been royal. Or at least noble. Instead he was nothing more than a commoner. A soldier. A knight, maybe. But now a body guard for someone who was deemed the most dangerous in the kingdom for the time being.
“Did you come here a lot as a kid?” He asked, moving to the other side of the tree where Cassio was sat. Erix didn’t sit, not yet, just in case the prince didn’t want him so close to him. Instead he stood, a few steps away so he wasn’t looming over the man and giving him some space.
He glanced up as Erix spoke, eyes moving up to where the taller man stood. "Marcus and I both did." he replied after a moment. "Though I liked the maze more than he did." his mouth quirked faintly. When he and Marcus had been very young, he had once purposefully gotten his younger brother lost in the maze. He hadn't thought it was that big of a deal, but Marcus had cried for nearly thirty minutes about being lost in that maze. Looking back, maybe it had been cruel, but they had been children. Cassio hadn't understood how scary being lost in the maze might be for a five year old, considering he had only been seven or eight himself.
"We didn't come out here together much once we were older." Cassio had usually been so busy with his schoolwork that, well, the times he was able to come out to the gardens were few and far between, and usually didn't align with his brother. Plus, he and Marcus had grown more distant as they got older. They didn't see each other much, and for better or for worse, Marcus had lived most of his life in Cassio's shadow. Which didn't help things either.
It felt like he saw Marcus more now that he was mad, ironically enough. Marcus didn't come by every day, but he came by at least a few times a week to check up on his older brother. And of course there was the public functions that Cassio was allowed to attend, always with a Caretaker in lockstep with him. Gods, he hated the clothes he had to wear during those functions. They were always so stiff and heavy and he knew, he knew that the reason was to keep him from being able to move as well or as quickly. Once, on a day where he had been particularly out of his mind and difficult to control, they had settled for drugging him, and he had spent the entire day in a nightmarish stupor.
Erix stayed standing for a little while longer before he finally took up a position in front of Cassio, sitting with one leg folded under himself while the other stayed bent to allow himself to lean against it. Maybe it was a bit casual, but quite frankly he didn't care. If Cassio wanted him to move away, to stand and take a few steps back to allow for space then he would, but right now he didn't seem to be minding the company. Or maybe that was because Erix was terrible at reading people and never understood when someone was mad at him or not. Well, that was a bit extreme, but for the most part it was correct. It didn't help that Cassio wasn't a normal person. Not only was he a prince, he was mad, and that made things all the more complicated.
"I never had the opportunity to experience places like these with my younger siblings." He said, offering up a piece of information about himself, "As much as you and His Majesty didn't spend much time here when you became grown, at least you both have the memories of when you were children to enjoy."
The guard had spent his whole childhood working. The moment he had been able to work he had done so. The moment he had been able to earn he had saved and spent every penny on his siblings. Some weeks they barely had enough money for a meal each and often he went hungry in favour of feeding his younger family members. There had never been an option for fun, when it came to Erix. He was and always would be the worker, the earner, and the caretaker for his family. Joy and fun were not anything he was able to experience in life.
"Do you have many siblings?" Cassio had only ever had Marcus. And, to some degree, Nola, but she hadn't really been his sibling. She had been Maura's granddaughter, and as Maura had been his and Marcus's primary caretaker, when they were little, they had ended up being around Nola a lot. She was a sweet girl, even if many times Cassio could not recognize her for who she was, and many times would call her by her grandmother's name. Today was an easy day. Today he had known her, and could talk to Erix about things like this. Who knew what tomorrow would bring.
But he could let himself have today. Even if tomorrow he was wild and out of control again, today he felt closer to sane. North by northwest, rather than a spinning compass needle that could not find its true north. He didn't quite have north now, he never did, but he had northwest and that was almost close enough to function. He could almost pass for knowing his north, and that was what mattered for today.
He was leaning against the tree, legs stretched out in front of him and hands resting in the grass. He looked relaxed, for the most part. Contented and calm and quiet. For now. If every day was like today, then this would be an easy job for Erix. But they all knew that this wasn't going to be every day. They both knew that today was an easy one, even if neither man spoke of it to the other. They both knew that the conversations of today might not be possible tomorrow, but yet here they were, pretending that it was.
Erix leaned back on his hands, feeling the soft grass beneath his fingers and the dirt under his nails. The small creatures that climbed over his skin and made him flinch just a little at the sensation. Grounded. There were no mind games going on today, nothing that his magic would cause or create. That was always the issue when it came to dark magic, being connected with forces that weren't good like most of the other guards like him. He had always been the outsider in that regard. No one wanted to deal with a person who could easily bend reality, create illusions, dabble in the darkness and change minds however he pleased.
But Cassio didn't know that. Hell, Marcus didn't even know that, not to the full extent. Maybe that was also part of the reason as to why he had gotten the job so easily. Either way, he was grateful. Because right then it was like he had no responsibilities to who he had to be and who his magic made him be. The man that presented to the world a strong facade that would never fade. In the gardens of the royal palace, with a mad prince, Erix could talk about himself and feel okay with it. The chances of Cassio forgetting what he told him tomorrow were high if he was less than sane, and maybe that was a good thing, but he would have to wait and see what tomorrow would bring in order to understand the extent of his words.
"I have- had, I had two," Erix said after a moment, tilting his head up to the clouds above. He squinted at the light from the sun before looking back down to the prince, "Brother and sister. My sister is exploring the world, that was always her dream. I don't see her all that often anymore." And his brother was resting in a place he hoped was far more peaceful than the waking world that the two of them inhabited now.
"What happened to your brother?" Cassio asked. It was easier to be grounded out here, easier to feel more himself. It always was, but he was so rarely out here that he forgot how easy it was. Was it just being out of his room that made it easier? Or was it just a coincidence, since he tended to be out here on the easier days anyways? Who could tell. Certainly not him. His Caretakers cared more about control and keeping him leashed than about anything else. The dirty little secret (well, one of them) was that they weren't really there to make him better. Just to keep him from becoming an embarrassment in public.
Marcus didn't really care what they did to Cassio, as long as nothing left any marks where the public could see, and as long as it didn't make Cassio actively worse. Sure, ostensibly the caretakers were there to improve things, make it better, but in reality… in reality, they just had free reign to do whatever they wanted. Anything Cassio said about them, he had long ago learned that no one was listening. And even if they were, no one believed him.
He pressed his hand into the bark of the tree, feeling the roughness of it scrape against the skin on his palm. It wouldn't cut him, of course, but the feeling of the bark was a nice little touch of pain to help ground him, keep him focused and sane and present. At least for now. For now, he could keep that control he had gained. If he was lucky, it would last through tomorrow. But if things were normal, it would vanish away at night like the dew in the morning sun.
Erix, for a long moment, stayed silent, as if he was contemplating whether or not to actually tell Cassio about what happened to his brother. It wasn't tragic in the grand scheme of things, but considering he had been the caretaker for his family after his mother had passed away giving birth to his sister, it was to him, in a way. Because he had never known his father, and had only had his mother for years before his brother and sister came into the picture. Then his mother passed, and he had joined the army, and became his mentor's protégé, only to ensure that his siblings survived. The life of a soldier had never been the one he had desired, but it was the one he had ended up in, for better or for worse.
"He grew sick," He settled upon finally, clearly deciding to share some details with Cassio. After all, what did it matter? Sure he didn't trust the man, but there was nothing stopping him from sharing something about himself. They were supposed to bond in some way, "Plague. Emyr, he… I couldn't help him. Didn't have the money for proper care."
For a boy that had always been so happy, so carefree, it had been awful to watch him slowly fade away into grey. Erix had worked his Gods damned ass off in order to try and afford some sort of medicine, a healer, anything to help his brother. Fuck, even Eira, his sister, had tried getting a job in order to help but she had been too young at the time for anyone to take her in. So they had to stand to the side and watch as their brother grew weaker, unable to move, unable to help, until he had passed during sleep. Erix had been the one to find him, and he hadn't stopped blaming himself for his death ever since.
Cassio nodded faintly. "I'm sorry." he said softly. "That must have been hard." he knew how much loss could hurt, though the circumstances of losing his parents was… a little bit different than what had happened to Erix's brother. His loss had caused a cascading effect that had affected the entire country. So, it was a little bit different. But he still understood how much loss like that could hurt.
It was a hard hting to think about, when he thought about how Erix's struggles were outlined with a lack of money, and Cassio had never had to think about that sort of thing. The gulf between their upbringing was, well, rather big. Cassio had never had to worry about money or food or clothing. He had had schooling, had been raised well. But neither of them had had perfect lives. If they had, they never would have met. If Cassio wasn't mad, he wouldn't need a personal guard right now.
He exhaled softly, looking over at Erix. The fact that they hadn't been able to get access to medical care was not a realization that he liked to hear. It was…hard. His parents had been good rulers, but they hadn't been perfect. Marcus was a decent ruler, but, just like their parents, he wasn't perfect. And making medical care easier to access was something that needed to be worked on. Gods, if he had been the king, would anything be different? He hoped so. But, well, it was a moot point. He would never be king now.
Erix hummed, "It was."
Because with no father to care for the family they had had to rely on their mother for the longest time. Emyr had come into the picture, and not long after that Eira. But with the birth of the only other woman that had ever been important to him came the loss of the first. It had been a grief that Erix had never completely healed from from being taken care of by the most loving woman in the whole kingdom to losing her in a matter of seconds. Erix had never once blamed Eira for her death and had cared for her as if he were her father, really. They had all been close because of the loss, but because of it the soldier had never come to terms with the death of his only parental figure. Fuck, for a time he had attempted to try and reach his deadbeat dad, who had fucked off and only ever came around when he wanted something - mainly money - from him and his mother. Erix had given up after a year of trying.
It seemed that loss followed the both of them. With Emyr passing years later. Erix hadn't healed from the original loss, on top of that the guilt from being unable to care for his younger brother… it only contributed to the mental downfall of his own mind. Different to Cassio's but still frightening nonetheless. The guilt ate away at him every day, maybe it was why he had hoped to die on the battlefield when he had been given the opportunity. Instead, he had survived yet again, close to death but not quite reaching it, and being left with a nasty scar to remind himself that while he was living and breathing, those that should have been there, were no longer.
"I just hope things change so others don't have to go through the same thing," Erix said with a sigh.
Cassio nodded a little. "I no longer have any power to make change." he said softly. "For myself, or for anyone else." it was hard, to know that he had once had the power to do so, had once had the potential to form this country into something even better, but instead, he was like this. On his best days, like this one, he was coherent and somewhere close to sane, but those days were not common. It was only a few days a month that he was this coherent. Erix was lucky that his first day meeting Cassio was like this. It might be more difficult tomorrow, though.
"But, well, we can both hope for my brother to make good changes for this country." he added after a moment, shifting slightly. He was still leaning back against the wall, sighing softly and running a hand through his hair. His brown eyes were soft and relaxed, and a little less wide than they had been earlier. He looked almost perfectly normal, though there was still something in his eyes that wasn't quite… normal. There always was. Just that little hint of madness, boiling below the surface, omnipresent.
He looked over at Erix, studying him for a long moment. Even sitting down, Erix was a big man. Cassio wasn't used to being smaller than the people around him. He wasn't the tallest person in the world, he knew that, but he was still generally on average with most people he was around. But Erix was far taller than him. It made sense, sure, to have a guard who could physically overpower him easily, but it was still a little unsettling.
