forum Roleplay (1/1) (Stalkers welcome) (Closed for now)

Started April 15, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

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Azrael was walking along the pine trees in Paradox Vortex, Montana, when she stumbled upon a rip in space-time, like a portal of some sort. She was about to walk away, because things like this happen every day in Paradox Vortex, but then something happened. Two people stumbled out of the portal, a boy and a girl. She felt like she knew this person like they were pen pals.
"Who are you?" Azrael asked.

The girl dusted off her hands on her jeans while the boy studied the map intently, then proceeding to scan the surroundings. The girl finished straightening herself out, and replied, "Oh, you must be Azrael! I'm Chelsea, and this is Theo. Nice to finally meet you in person."
Theo puts his hand up in greeting when his name is mentioned.
She pauses, then apologetically says, "I'd shake your hand, but you know… yeah. Anyway, nice place you moved to, congratulations! How's everything?"

"Good, good. And you?" Azrael replied. She was curious as to how they got here, but decided to brush it off for now.
Azrael then got a bright idea.
"Follow me," Azrael said, excited to meet them in real life.

"Yeah, everything's been going pretty well for us. Sorry for not telling you ahead of time, but we were just doing some interdimensional chores and we thought, why not stop by?"
Theo is seemingly amused by Chelsea's statement, and explains. "By chores, she means 'stop by an alternate universe in which turkeys became the national bird of the United States.' Fun fact: they eat bald eagles there on Thanksgiving."
"Not the point right now, Brainiac. It was kind of chewy though, 3/10. Anyway, let's go follow someone I've never met personally out of these woods!"

"It's called Universe F-4. Been there. By the way, I'm like the most trustworthy person in the multiverse. We're here," Azrael said as they stopped at a rather large cottage. It was very welcoming.
"This is my house," Azrael stated. "Fun fact: The trees in this town talk."

"Wow, this is really nice! Hey Theo, it reminds me of the cottage that we went to up in Maine with like, all of Mom's relatives. It was a while ago, you might not remember with your walnut-sized memory for family vacations."
"Watch it, short stack. And I do remember that trip - mostly because that was when Uncle Fylo taught us all of the standard laboratory safety procedures while we were whitewater rafting at the age of five."
"Yeah, what happened to him? I feel like he and Uncle Milo just vanished off of the face of the Earth."
"I'm sure they're fine. Other than the fact we haven't seen them in like, ten years and not even Mom knows where they are."
"Yeah… anyway, talking trees, that's one we haven't seen before."
"Unless you count those ferns that mumble when you approach them and then run away if you touch them."
"Yeah, that's not the same. Also, am I saying 'yeah' too much? Azrael, do we need to remove our shoes or something when we go inside?"

"Please remove your shoes. And no, you're not saying 'yeah' too much," Azrael said as they went inside. The room was very welcoming and calm. Expected of Death, because death is the only thing certain in the chaos of life, thereby making it peaceful
"Meet my wife, War." War stood up. War was more feminine than people think she is. She was a femme lesbian, through and through. War had blonde hair with a blood-red streak in it. She looked 22.
War appeared to be talking to someone who appeared to be Irish. His name was Seán William McLoughlin.
"Hello," said War very excited.
"Top of the morning," said Seán.

"This is one of the newest members of Recent Immortals, Seán William McLoughlin, or better known as Jacksepticeye," War stated.
"Come, sit down on the couch," Azrael said. Surprisingly, there were no skulls anywhere to be found in the house.

"Nice to meet you, War. Also, Jacksepticeye is immortal? I knew it. Theo, pay up."
Theo grudgingly hands her a five dollar bill. He mutters, "After having lost absolutely every bet I have ever made with you, I really should stop agreeing to them."
"Probably. Well, the kids at school obviously aren't catching on, so I have other people I can 'exploit,' don't worry about it."
"Seriously, the stuff that you bet on always seems absolutely impossible, yet you are always right when you lay down the money. Do you have something up your sleeve?"
"Two things: trusting your intuition, and yes, now I have five dollars up my sleeve. Anyway, how does becoming immortal work? Is there a lot of paperwork or something?"

"There's one way of being immortal. You do the whole cool action scene type way, and then the paperwork comes," War said.
"You can only become immortal if an existing Immortal asks for you to become immortal, however," Azrael added.
Jacksepticeye was drinking what appeared to be beer. The label on it said "Potato beer, straight from the spud's arse."
"Now, for business. You see, there are multiple multiverses. This multiverse is called the 'Halmans' multiverse. Other multiverses aren't able to breach into ours, and vice versa. You aren't part of our multiverse. So the question remains, how did you get here? I mean, you told me about the whole interdimensional travel/chores thing, but if you're able to access our multiverse, then something's wrong with the barriers of the multiverse." Azrael stated.
Also, heavy metal was faintly playing in the background.

"So the dimension we use to travel to other universes has been kind of wonky lately-"
Theo interrupts. "It smells like bleu cheese."
"It does, and it's awful, but that wasn't what I was going to say. More holes and rips in space-time have been appearing there, which usually means that another universe or dimension or whatever is becoming accessible. There's a lot of dimensions that we can't access because we don't know their location or time dominion. Unless they create a portal to the dimension we use for traveling, let's call it 'the breach,' they're not accessible, unless they're really unstable and just collapses on itself, which can also cause a dimension to be accessible via the breach. A small opening to this universe was made this morning, but we were on our fowl journey at that time, so we didn't have time to go check it out. By the afternoon when we were done, we were coming back around and saw the rip was large enough for us to comfortably walk through instead of having to crawl through it, and we saw that our maps of the multiverse had gotten some updates, including the hole to your universe, so we figured we'd stop by."
"Does your concern regard that… that guy? The one who we are not allowed to state the name of?"

"Yes. I'm afraid this is V's doing. We need to go into the 6th Dimension, that's how I go between universes and such. But first, We need to talk to Allison, see if she will join us. I will call her," Azrael said. She called Allison Mercy.
"Yeah, I need your help."
"It's about HIM."
"Now. Bring your holy sword."
"Bye."
She hung up.
"Allison will be here soon, she's the half-angel friend I told you about," Azrael said. "You guys bring any weapons?"
At that moment, she called her scythe. It came to her like Thor's hammer in the movies.

"Oh, cool, mission time! And yeah, we have weapons."
Chelsea and Theo take off their backpacks, and check the contents.
"Okay, looks like we have several small daggers and knives, non-lethal poison-tipped darts, a blowtorch, an ice gun, and… Cody's axe? I don't remember bringing that…"
"You asked him if you could borrow it on Sunday, when you needed to chop down that tree. I don't know why you didn't just use the chainsaw, in retrospect, but I would advise against using his axe now, he might use it to attack you if something happens to it."
"That wouldn't make sense. Anyway, I'll take the Damascus steel knife, the knuckledusters, and the gravity gun. You take the staff and the frequency gun. And take some throwing stars while you're at it."
Theo pulls out some archery gear, and muses, "Remind me how we fit a longbow into our backpacks?"
"You can dismantle it and put it back together. They were on clearance a month ago."
They put their backpacks back on, except Chelsea now has a knife tucked into her belt, a futuristic firearm in a holster, and is wearing a pair of silvery knuckles. Theo has a staff in his hand.
"I know we came off as nerds in the letters, and we totally are, but we have lots of hobbies. Knowing martial arts is basically a must-know, unless you're fine with getting beat up every time you visit the multiverse. Also, don't worry about us needing armor, we have some stuff up our sleeve, literally and figuratively."
"As they say, sticks and stones are mostly harmless in the modern day compared to our other lethal weapons, but you never know when a school shooting will happen, so wear body armor."
"Theo, I don't think that's how the saying goes."
"The original version was cliché and not very accurate, either."
"Touché."

Allison comes in. She is a strawberry blonde woman, with a faint halo above her halo. She had a sword on her waist.
"Good, you brought it." Azrael stated.
"Of course I did," Allison said.
"Good. This is Allison."
"HI!!"
"Everyone ready to go?"
"Yep," said Allison.
"And you?" asked Azrael as she opened up a weird uneven greasy rainbow coloured hole in space-time, a portal if you will.

"Yeah, we've got everything we need. So, what exactly is happening and what are we going to do? Feel free to explain on the way. Also, nice to meet you Allison. I'm Chelsea and this is Theo."

"Let's go then," Azrael said. Allison jumped into it. Azrael jumped into it as well.

"Let's go!" Chelsea dove into the portal, and Theo did a backflip and entered smoothly.
"I'd make a joke about you being a showoff, but honestly, I would've done a diving routine if I had the chance, so I don't think that would be fair. And what's with all of the wonky rainbow patterns? It looks like those '80s psychedelic rock-themed posters, or if hallucinogens and delirious unicorns had a psychotic brainchild."
"Whoever chose this pattern should get some classes on color theory. Or maybe they wanted the effect of inducing headaches on their travelers."
"Dude, you jinxed us. Now we'll definitely get migraines. So what's happening, again?"

"We're going to try to fix the holes in the multiverse. I know where the first one is," Azrael said. They went to dimension I-317.
The Irish dimension.

"Okay, confession time. I don't actually like potatoes."
"Despite already having known that, the repetition of that statement only makes it more and more wrong."
"Says the insane madman who thinks fruitcake is the king of desserts!"
"It's prune whip, not fruitcake. And look, you don't like potato chips, potato fries, baked potatoes, or mashed potatoes. That has to be morally wrong, or at least illegal in some dimension."
"Oh yeah, sure. Thinking that some pitted prunes with sugar, salt, egg whites, and heavy cream is superior to doughnuts, cakes, crepes, chocolate, banana splits, apple crisps, tortes, and crème brulee certainly isn't evil."

"Let's go to I-317's Ireland, or as they call it, True Ireland. That's where the first rip in space-time is." Azrael said.
Suddenly, there they were, In Dublin, True Ireland. The Emperor's New Clothes, rock cover by Natewantstobattle starts playing louder and louder in the background. Azrael also grabbed a six-pack of Potato Beer.
"My favourite beer in the multiverse," Azrael sighs to herself. She opened and drank one of the beers.
"Azrael, are you sure that you're supposed to be drinking, in front of children?" Allison asked.
"I'm fine, I almost never get drunk."
"But the times you have gotten drunk, it was while drinking Potato Beer."
"Fine, I'll only drink one for now. Now, where is it?" Azrael asked. "Wait, where is Chelsea and Theo?"
They disappeared, like they disappeared into another dimension.

Chelsea and Theo stepped out of the portal, to find themselves in a room filled with Eldritch gods. They would've normally been concerned and drawn their weapons, but Chelsea and Theo relaxed when they saw that the beings were playing poker, using star systems and constellations as chips. Theo, now feeling reassured of his safety, pulled out a map and studied it.
One of them, a being with an octopus-like head with tentacles and arms for hair, waved at Chelsea and Theo using one of the tentacles.
"Hey, Chelsea and Theo! You didn't say you'd be stopping by today!"
"Yeah, we didn't mean to, sorry Elpys. We meant to go to the Irish dimension, we were doing some interdimensional chores with friends. We'll be here for Tuesday's chess boxing match, though."
"Okay Chelsea, it looks like we are located in dimension E-224, and we need to get back to Azrael and everyone in dimension I-317. You ready?"
"You know I am."
She pulled an antique compass out of her pocket, tapped it a couple of times, and a portal appeared in front of her. As Chelsea and Theo went through it, one of the Eldritch gods rumbled, "Stop looking at my cards, Wynding!"
Chelsea and Theo closed the portal, and looked around.

"There you are," Allison said as they appeared.
"Let's go," They said as they started walking through a field. They stopped.
"Well, well, well, now look what we have here," said a slithery voice. It was the being whose name shall never be muttered by human tongue, Vozreal. His eyes were a beautiful yet terrifying shade of crimson. Allison pulled out her sword.
"What do you want?" Azrael asked.
"Nothing, I just want to help you," Vozreal stated.

"Yeah, that's believable. Hey Theo, have you ever seen a pair of creepy, glowing red eyes that were as trustworthy as his?" Chelsea spat out with dripping sarcasm while discreetly pulling out her knife.
Theo rolled his eyes and muttered, "Yes, Mom's eyes after she finds out you didn't do your homework."
"We should probably save the sarcastic quips for later. But don't people also tell bad one-liners during battle? I mean, that's what goes down in every action scene in the movies. But the only monsters I've fought were Lovecraftian horror beasts, mythological creatures, and toddlers, and none of those made puns while I was fighting them."
"The toddlers were by far the scariest and most horrifying of those."
"Agreed. I guess that's why those parents didn't want us to babysit their kids again."
"Look, those children were demons. No need to feel bad about it."
"Okay, we're getting sidetracked. Is it possible to kill this guy or something? What do we do now?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Vozreal said, "I'm not the bad guy this time." His whole body appeared out of the shadows. He was very attractive. He was wearing a black tuxedo, and was slightly leaning on his cane. He didn't need it, he only had it for the sophisticated appeal of it.
"How do we know?" Azrael and Allison said.
"Because I know who is."
"Go on," Azrael said.
"It's this being named Hewalo. He's been making this holes in space-time. All I want to do is help you out."
"Put your guard down, guys, I think he's telling the truth."
"How do you know?" Allison asked.
"If there's one thing he's known for, it's for telling the truth. He does have a tendency to twist the truth for his own gain, however," Azrael said, "I thnk we can trust him, but we have to keep an eye on him."
"Oh-kay," Allison said.
"Vozreal, you can join us, but no, and I mean none whatsoever, funny stuff, like betraying us for your gain."
"Alright," Vozreal said. He joined the group.