dug charges through the mountaind and breaks all of them open just by existing near them. pieces of the montain fly to europeto boost the war effort.

“now where is that silly sebian man”

“i dont know, i sure hope i didnt break his entire body when i pushed him” dug said, genuinely without a single drop of sarcasm (real)

i step out a portal “so you guys finally came here. looks like i have to break the news”

‘oh god has he finally betrayed us this is so surprising i totally did not expect this’ i think and take up my sniper rifle

“its my birthday”

“oh well congratulations is it a boy or girl” dug asks

“ITS A BOY“

and then the ground underneath them explodes but i the magic sebian man use my silly powers to ojt a shild around us a split second before untimley deaths as i saw im an alternare universe
“you thought you could kill us huh”

“oh who da hell” i load my gun

“ots me lee harvey oswald. i am the europeon assasin sent here to end this once snd for all” lee harvey oswald says

“i thought you were in the america or something what are you doing here”

“a,erica exploded but a necromancer in eorupee revived me to do thier biddimg.” he explaimee

i pull out a revolver and shoot lee harvery oslwwrd in the head

lee harvey oswlad dies (again) “oof”

“if nes a zombie i dont think thats the last time well see him” dug thinks out loid

“i agree but lets go to the albanina capital so that we can plan our attack”

“i havent been in the Albanian capital ever since i shot the kenneddeys”

“what???”

“where did that confession even come from. random /=/ funny and that is a lesson i am going to teach to you you fucking idiot”

“ስለ ኃጢአትዎ ቤተሰብዎ ይደማል ፡፡“

dug crashes through the roof of tha analbanian capital. he does a big jump because he doesnt want to hear this argument

“አልኩ ፣ የተረጋገጠ ፍራክ
በሳምንት ሰባት ቀናት
እርጥብ-አህያ እምብርት
ያንን የመውጫ ጨዋታ ደካማ ያድርጉት ፣ ዋው
አዎ ፣ አዎ ፣ አዎ አዎ
አዎ ፣ በአንዳንድ እርጥብ-አህያ ብልት ትመጫለሽ
ለዚህ እርጥብ-አህያ እምብርት ባልዲ እና መጥረጊያ ይዘው ይምጡ
ለዚህ እርጥብ-አህያ እምስ ያገኘኸውን ሁሉ ስጠኝ”

getting tired of him i teleport me and the albanian to the capital
“dug what did ou do”

“i coyldnt stand through any more of your arguments you two need to put your differences aide. i dont care if youre apart of a clan fued for 5000 million years we need to work together here”

“wow dug that was so motivational”