forum Next Steps [Private RP — Closed]

Started January 16, 2019 by @Imperfect_Autumn group

tune

Gray's POV:

Don't look at me like that…

"What… would be the five words you would use to describe yourself?" I asked, running a hand through my hair, growing restless just sitting here and doing nothing to ease myself.

Swallowing thickly, I somehow managed to tear my eyes away from him entirely. “Uhh…. over-achiever. Imaginative. Overthinker. Clingy…?”

Gray's POV:

She looked away. Somehow, even that didn't seem to satisfy me, however now that I didn't have her stare on me, my hunger could be controlled. Somewhat.

"Clingy," I repeated. "You don't look like it. You haven't acted clingy."

I gave a shrug. “Fine. I dunno, how would you describe me?”

Gray’s POV:

“Beautiful, loyal, kind, tender… fiery,” I said, trying to meet her eyes. “Gentle, hard-working, passionate and many other words.”

My heart thawed almost instantly, as if held over the fire that seemed to be constantly burning in his eyes. Eyes flickering shyly up to meet his, I managed to smile without completely dissolving. "That—That means a lot, thank you. If I had to describe you… God, there's too much to summarize. Caring, sweet, an absolute miracle…. devastatingly handsome, worthy, ingenious… The list goes on."

Gray’s POV:

I finally looked away from her eyes, hiding my face in my hand, biting my lower lip.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I managed to say, my heart hammering wildly in my chest. “Do you know how hard it is to keep myself in control?”

My eyes widened into two bear-brown saucers, stuck fast to Gray, who for the first time appeared to be flustered in front of me. Where had all his smooth, flirtatious comments gone?

Heart pounding with wild abandon, I barely managed to piece together a response. "Control………. Control of what?"

Gray’s POV:

I refused to look at her, my body getting hotter. My blood turned to molten lava, slushing wildly in my veins.

“Of myself,” I hissed out through gritted teeth.

I drew my knees up to my chest, barely able to function through the sludge packing my brain until there was nearly no room to think.

"Do you—Should I go out, for a few minutes?" I swallowed, my mouth unfathomably dry. "Just to the washroom? So we don't—you know."

Gray’s POV:

I stood up immediately, setting my mug aside.

“I should leave,” I heard myself saying. “Cool myself off. I respect you too much to do something like this.”

How was Sterling able to do this? Hold himself off, not lose control? Because I could just look at Violeta and all self-control would just fling itself out the window.

I’d never had a problem control myself before, but Violeta was intoxicating. I needed to leave before she truly becomes a drug in this moment.

Conflict ripped across my features. On one hand, I understood and was immensely touched and relieved by what he was trying to do, how much he was caring for my consent and well-being—after all, we'd only been dating for a few days now—but on the other… I didn't want him to leave. I wished that this whole… thing… wasn't an issue between us, wasn't a cause of tension. I wished we could just forget about the next steps for a little while, get into the groove of this new relationship…

"I—Gray, I can't express how touched I am that you're–that you're being this careful. Thank you. Just—Do what you feel you need to do in order to…. yeah. I'm sorry I'm holding you back….. but we only started dating days ago, I'm still new to all this. I'm sorry."

Gray’s POV:

I immediately shot my gaze towards her.

“No, don’t apologize,” I narrowed my eyes. “You’re not holding me back. I’m willing to wait for you even if it takes a thousand years. Don’t pressure yourself and don’t ever force yourself. Tell me when you’re truly ready, not when you’re trying to make it okay for me.”

I nodded, my eyes falling back down to my bedspread. Gray….. he was truly amazing. How I had ever managed to land him was a mystery.

But a part of me wished we didn't have to be discussing this so early in our relationship. I felt as if… maybe 'I love you' should come before that step, but it was too early for that too….

"Alright—Thank you."

Gray’s POV:

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I could do this. If I tried, I could do this.

“When is… when is your birthday?” I questioned her, trying to deter the conversation to the cooler side.

"May eighth," I answered with as level a voice as I could manage, trying to play along.

"When's yours?"

Gray’s POV:

“September 14th,” I answered, clearing my throat. “Your turn.”

"Right… Uh, happy super late birthday." Cringing at how awkward I sounded, I scrambled to find another question to ask. "Have you ever had a pet? If not, do you want one?"

Gray’s POV:

I laughed, shaking my head. When I stopped, I thought over her question.

“If my memory isn’t betraying me… I think we used to have a pet,” I furrowed my eyebrows. “A parrot named Gem. He was my mother’s.”

"Aw, cute name."

I was extremely proud of myself for delivering this short sentence without any stammering or blushing whatsoever.

"How old were you?"

Gray’s POV:

“My mother used to have a knack for naming things like that. I remember her singing me to sleep vividly,” I smiled fondly, thinking of my mother even though all I got was a blurry figure. “How old was I when we had Gem?”

"That's adorable…." I murmured, risking a glance up and absolutely melting at the soft look on his face. "Yeah, do you remember?"

Gray’s POV:

“Three,” I answered immediately. “I was three. Mom found him on our lawn. His wing had been hurt and he couldn’t fly, so mom took him in and patched him up. He refused to leave afterwards. Stuck to my mom like glue.”

The memories were painful, especially what followed two years later. I forced a smile on my face, shaking my head.

“Mom thought he was a girl at first. Dad said otherwise. It was funny—they used to bicker uselessly about things like that.”

I reached for his hand, trying to provide a source of comfort, before realizing that he was too far away to physically reach.
"That's… That's really heart-warming."

Gray’s POV:

I grinned at her, steering the topic away.

“What about you?”