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I took the pen out of her hand, flipping open a new page of my notebook. And in an almost illegible scrawl from my useless right hand, I wrote down a single sentence.
I’m running away.
I took the pen out of her hand, flipping open a new page of my notebook. And in an almost illegible scrawl from my useless right hand, I wrote down a single sentence.
I’m running away.
I stared at those three words for a long time, having absolutely no idea how to react. After a while, I swallowed thickly, balling my hands into fists in my lap. “When?”
“I… I don’t know yet. But I made up my mind. And I… I know you won’t, but I want you to come with me. I’m going to stowaway on a cruise ship. Find some stupid Americans to smuggle me across the ocean.” I smiled weakly.
My eyes flew open, but I fixed them to my lap before they could speed to Romeo. “I tried running away once,” I said bluntly, quietly, “Angelo put a gun to my head and told me to recite the three rules of the mafia before he finished counting down, or he would shoot me. Then, he carved an X into my arm.”
“I… I honestly can’t do this anymore, Juliet. The only time I’m ever happy anymore is when I’m with you.” I replied, making sure to be almost silent as I spoke. “And you’re not happy with me. This isn’t fair to you. I’m not good for college. I make a bad solider and leader.” My voice suddenly caught in my throat. “It’s only a matter of time until I just vanish. I at least want it to be on my own terms.” My voice grew fainter and fainter as I struggled to withhold tears.
I should be happy about his decision. It was making everything easier.
So why did I feel like I was breaking into a million tiny pieces?
“At least wait until you heal,” I found myself saying, stalling almost desperately. “That way it’ll be easier for you.”
(I’m gonna head to sleep! Night Topaz!)
“Until I heal.” I repeated softly rested my head on the table. I was so tired from staying up last night. The day had filled me with a whole new level of stress. I wanted nothing more then to pass out right now, but I held off. My heart still felt raw. That’s probably why I agreed to wait. I selfishly wanted Juliet to care for me. I needed to know what it felt like to have someone who actually, legitimately cared for me. She didn’t have to love me, but she cared.
(Gnight!)
“Thank you…” I whispered before I could stop myself, fumbling to pick up my fallen pen again. “I—“ Suddenly, I found myself wanting to tell him everything, about last night, about the shattered glass, about how I’d run. But I cut myself off, confused and distressed, biting down hard on my lower lip.
(GOSH OH GOSH OH GOSH OH GOSH I JUST BINGE_READ THIS WHOLE THING DAMN I NEED MORE OH CRAP FRICK YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING FRICK)
(PLEASE LET THEM LIVE)
(Lol hi @Joy! Glad you’re enjoying the story! Good morning Topaz! It’ll be a busy day again but I’ll be around as much as I can.)
“Text me tonight, okay?” I raised my head up, biting down on my lip to suppress another whimper. I hurt. Everywhere. All the time. The pains in my body are bone deep, arcing like electricity with every minuscule movement. “I’m putting you in enough danger just by sitting here.” I wanted to reach over at hug her. Play with her hair, feel her arms around my back, let her trace every scar and draw roses on my skin. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out against the urge to coddle her, or at least give in the the menacing black dots threatening to consume my vision with each passing second.
(Oh hi, glad you liked it
Heyo! Alright, butndownt push yourself. How’re you?)
I barely managed a nod, dragging a hand through my hair to keep it from quaking. Gritting my teeth, I focused on staying sane, on not spilling my whole story out at his feet. “What—What did Marina do this morning?”
“Sucker punched Mercutio and shoved me against a locker. Didn’t help my broken arm very much, but she didn’t do anything bad. Just said I didn’t care about you.” I stared at the roses on my arm, trying to be somewhat discreet with my staring at Juliet. “If only she knew.” I joked weakly. “She’d probably kill me.”
(I’m tired, just had a math test first period. I’m ready for a nap already lmao. How’re you?)
(Oof sorry, feel better
I’m okay)
I let out a small, exhausted groan. “I won’t say I’m sorry about Mercutio, but…. I, uh, climbed in through her window at four in the morning today… must have thought it was your fault…”
I chuckled quietly. “Mercutio definitely deserved it. He likes to antagonize.” I shifted my gaze to Juliet, unable to resist any longer. “You weren’t doing that because of me… right?”
(I’ll be alright lol, glad you’re doing okay!)
I stared down at the massive Rose I had drawn on my desk. “I…….. after you left, I panicked. A few hours passed, I didn’t sleep, went downstairs to get a drink. Myband was shaking so much, the glass fell and broke…. my dad heard….. and I just ran.”
I looked away as guilt pooled in my stomach. “Juliet, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I though you wouldn’t… well, I though you wouldn’t care.” I rested my cast on the desk, trying my best not to collapse in on myself. “I couldn’t look at those texts. I-I can’t resist you very well. I would’ve responded whether I wanted to or not.”
“It’s not your fault…..” I whispered. “I just… I don’t know how I can go home tonight. I don’t know how I can go back to hating you.”
“I want to end this war, Juliet. I’ll do whatever it takes, okay? I’ll find out what went wrong and fix things.” I promised, my heart racing in my chest. I bit my lip, already stressed.
My blood turned to ice. “No. For God’s sake, no. What happened can’t be fixed,” I whispered urgently, struggling to keep from spiraling down into an ocean of panic. “Don’t try.”
“Juliet, please.” I reached for her hand, but stopped halfway. “I won’t talk about this now. I don’t want to upset you. But someone needs to do something, and I’m already planning my escape. If need be I’ll leave earlier.” He explained softly.
“No. Fuck, no. Please listen to me when I tell you this can’t be fixed. The only thing we can do is let it play out. Try to come out alive.”
He couldn’t be doing this. He couldn’t be trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed. Least of all by him.
“Not here, Juliet. Please. Not here.” I whispered back, putting my head down on the desk.
I gave up and fell silent, my whole body having gone rigid. I was just too…. finished. Exhausted. Done with life and all it’s bullshit.
To make matters worse, Romeo was going to try to end the war. Of all the idiotic things… he couldn’t do it. It would just make everything infinitely worse.
I doodled aimlessly on my notebook, unable to face Juliet. I attempted to draw a rose, but my right hand wasn’t as deft as my left, causing it to look like the drawing of a two year old.
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