forum In Fair Verona // Modern Romeo and Juliet // Private RP - CLOSED

Started February 05, 2019 by @blue_topaz

tune

I bit back a quiet whimper as a couple tears escaped out of my eyes. For the second time today I cried like a coward, hiding underneath the thin sheets. Pretending they could protect me from the future.

I struggled to type, meticulously blinking away the tears so my spelling was correct.

ROMEO: Didnt think so. Needed to hear it from you.

JULIET: And to be honest, I don't think I deserve to be.

It was sent. There was no way for me to take it back.
I could feel tears pricking my eyes, blurring my vision. For the next five minutes, I just wiped them away again and again, choking on broken sobs and praying that no one could hear me.

JULIET: I've never admitted that to anyone. Do you think you'll ever be happy?

ROMEO: I don’t think I’ll live long enough to be happy.

My fingers dashed across the letters as fast as possible.

ROMEO: I don’t even know if Ill make it through the night.

JULIET: Me neither.

I paused to wipe away a fresh flood of tears, burrowing deeper beneath my sheets. Why did this hurt so much?

JULIET: I'm digging my own grave just by texting you like this. Because my dad wants me to kill you one day. And I don't know if I can. Would you kill me if your parents made you?

ROMEO: I know you don’t like hearing this, but I’m sort of hopelessly in love with you. I’d rather die for something I love than live and be… empty. And it scares me. A lot. I feel like I’m going insane most of the time.

I must have typed and retyped my reply a billion times before I finally managed to send it.

JULIET: I don't like hearing it because it makes both of our jobs infinitely harder. But……. I understand what you mean. Fuck, am I the only one of us crying right now?

ROMEO: Nope. I feel like I cry about everything lately. I have a sudden craving for gelato too, which isn’t helping.

JULIET: Same…… can I admit something? That you're not allowed to tell anyone? Which is really stupid of me to tell you, but I'm going to do it anyways?

ROMEO: Of course. Ill keep quiet.

But all of a sudden, I was frozen. Why was I doing this? Why was I going to tell him something I'd even kept from Marina?

The answer was stupidly, stupidly clear.

JULIET: I tried to kill myself last year.

I froze. The few teardrops slipping from my eyes came down in a cascade. My blood turned to an icy slush in my veins as I stared. It seemed impossible. But was it really? At the same time, I understood why. To escape. All she wanted was to escape.

I couldn’t even handle it. Process it. I didn’t know what to do or say.

ROMEO: I love you.

I hit send before I could second guess myself.

As soon as I hit send, I curled up into a tight ball under my sheets, pressed my phone to my chest, and cried my eyes out, struggling to stay silent. At some point, I'd pressed my hand against my mouth to muffle the quiet sobs, but it was shaking so badly that the broken noises were barely suppressed.

I didn't know how much time passed before I dared to look at his reply, and when I did, it made my heart stop. Tears blurred my vision, blending the dimmed colours of the room with the light coming from my phone screen.

JULIET: Why?

ROMEO: Because you deserve to be loved.

It seemed so cripplingly obvious to me. How broken we both were. I doubted she needed me as much as I needed her, but even if it helped, just a little bit. Then I would say it. Scream it from the rooftops.

JULIET: I don't, though. And you deserve someone who isn't supposed to shoot you in the head one day. You also deserve someone who isn't broken.

He was only hurting himself—why couldn't he see that? Not only was he loving someone who didn't love him back, he was loving someone who he couldn't afford to love. This was dangerous, and could quite literally get us both killed.

ROMEO: You absolutely deserved to be loved. And I don’t have a choice as to who my heart chooses. It hurts a lot, but so does everything else, right? Doesn’t make a difference.

JULIET: It does make a difference, why can't you see that? It's one more thing burdening you. It's one more thing tying me down.

I took a deep breathe already regretting my next sentence.

ROMEO: Then cut me loose.

My blood turned to ice.
Fingers flying over the keys, more tears spilling out—was this my reality now?

JULIET: Please don't tell me you're saying what I think you are.

((I’m like in tears over here yet here I am about to cause so much more drama than necessary lmao))

I looked at her message, feeling guilty. Five minutes passed. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty.

ROMEO: Goodnight, Juliet.

I shut off my phone and stared at the ceiling, feeling more alone than ever.

(same, rip us)

JULIET: No, Romeo, wait

JULIET: Fuck, please come back

JULIET: Romeo, I'm begging you

JULIET: Please, for the love of god

He wasn't replying. He wasn't even reading my messages.
I felt like I'd been doused in a bucket of icy fear.

I held my phone to my chest and curled up like the weak coward I was.
My whole body was shaking by now—what had I done?

I didn't think it was possible to cry this much…

skip to the next morning because I'm highkey considering having Juliet break down in front of the whole field because she thinks Romeo just went and killed himself)