Alexander gasped. "I have no such reaction to us supposedly "going out." Quit your daydreaming!" He scoffed and held his head up to hide his nervousness. It wasn't helping, however. "Well…there was this one girl. Her name was Jane. She was always timid and sensitive. I think that's what I liked about her at the start. Then, she would come over to my apartment, and she would sit there and watch me do my work. I even asked her if it was okay if I did my job since I didn't have a strong attachment. She said it was fine, and she patiently waited. Then after, we would talk. Don't get me wrong, it was fun, and then that came along. She was ready for the next step, and I wasn't. Then she would constantly do seductive things that I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or just her messing around. It got to the point where she broke one of my beakers accidentally. I just finished a project with that, and I needed to turn it in, and I just…I yelled for the first time at someone I cared about." He sighed and held his arm. "We drifted apart, and she broke with me. I wasn't even that sad about it."
"So then after, I figured I would try guys. Maybe it was just a girl thing that she had such a high sexual drive. The guy's name was Theo. He was really sweet and a little dumb at times. Since I would talk about science a lot, he would always sit and listen to me speak with a dopey grin." As Alexander reminded, he had a slight smile growing on his face. "However, he asked me to go out on a date with him a lot, which I didn't really see the point of. He was always with me when I was working at home, during class, and sometimes he would even stay over and cook me breakfast. I always said I was busy, so he stopped asking after a while. He wasn't the touchy-feely type—kind of like you. It was good because I wasn't either." Alexander frowned and looked away from Faybian. "Sooner or later, I wondered why he never tried to hug me or anything; all he said was that it didn't feel right. I think I knew he was faking it deep down, but I could own up to it because I loved having him around. Sooner or later, I found cheating on me a girl. It turns out he wasn't gay; he was just pretending. He figured it would be a way to cure his boredom and play with my feelings. So, he broke up with me, and I escaped to my work.
"Ever since then, I started to push my partners away. Sometimes I would let them in, but I would always say something to mess it up, like, I have work that needs to get done, or I couldn't say sorry when I needed to. I couldn't be that same person anymore, you know?" He shrugged. "That's why I've given up on finding someone who genuinely likes me, and my work has become a problem. I know. At this point, I just use that to push people away, push people away before you get left behind, right?" Alexander spotted the place started to walk fast so he could reach the doors. "Look, there's the bowling alley." He changed the topic.