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"Come on, all of us have dark spots.." said rasgi, sensing her nervousness and fear.
"Come on, all of us have dark spots.." said rasgi, sensing her nervousness and fear.
"Okay just… don't give me that look, please? The look like I'm an actual psychopath. I'm not crazy, it's real, I swear."
Rashi frowned, looking away. "Sheesh… the other reason I avoid people…" he muttered before apologizing.
She dropped her gaze to the floor. "You know what, nevermind. It's not important." If you're already judging my warning, the story is only going to worsen your image of me.
Rashi sensed it again. "Fiona… I didn't mean to judge you… I promise i wasn't…"
"No, really, it's fine. Just forget I said anything." And once again, the slightly crushing feeling of disappointment took her heart. She wanted to trust someone with this story but it seemed like she'd have to keep looking.
Rashi sighed coming around to hug her. "I promise you can trust me. If you can't then my brother is also someone you can trust." He said. "I know you're hurting… deep inside. I want to help. But I won't pressure you, and if I am then I apologize."
"I'm fine, Rashi, really. I don't need people to worry about me." It'll only make me feel like I'm bothering you if I tell you because then you'll think you have to care about me and I don't want people to waste their time and energy on me.
"Unfortunately that's whag people do when they care." He said.
"Which is why I don't want people to care." She muttered it more to herself than to him.
"Unfortunately that's what people do." Said Rashi reasonably.
"I don't need them to, I'm fine on my own. I survived long enough without anyone." She curled up on herself, feeling her heart start to harden, shutting everyone else out.
"Everyone needs someone at some point." Said Rashi, "no one is invincible."
"I have enough. I don't need anyone else." Correction: she had three people. Her oldest brother and her youngest sister. Her older sister hated her from a misunderstanding and her younger brother was the one who had died. And then Jessie. And that was it.
Rashi sighed. "But you still hide…"
"People don't need to waste their time and energy on a lost cause like me."
"You are not a lost cause." Said Rashi.
Then why did everyone leave me when I needed them the most? She curled up tighter, staying quiet.
Rashi didn't say anything more, pulling her into a tight hug.
She felt terrible, like she'd let him down somehow. "I…I should go. I'm sorry." She slid out of his grip and went for the door.
Rashi paled, fearing he'd done something wrong. "Fiona…."
She tried to smile but the best she could do was a tired half grin. "I'm fine, really. But I have to go." And with that, she left, her heart sinking into her shoes and her mind yelling at her for being stupid.
Rashi didn't do anything to stop her, mentally kicking himself for messing up as he felt her self hatred like a punch to the gut.
It didn't take long for the tears to start, the gut wrenching feeling of a pure depressive state absorbing her. She forced herself to just keep moving, forcing the feeling down like if she pushed it far enough down, it'd go away.
Rashi wanted to cry. He wasn't trying to spy kn her feelings, but every wave of self hatred, and depression hit him like a punch to the gut.
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