"I want you to live your own life, Kyle. I want us to go to college and have different amazing experiences. It'll be hard but we can call each other and text everyday and when we graduate, we could move in together and we'll both be older and I'll be ready." Payton explained.
His smile faded. Kyle put his head down. "Okay…" Kyle's voice was broken. "What if I wasn't smart…….I got into the same college as you, would you still tell me to go……?"
"I'm not telling what to do, okay?" He said gently. "I'm telling you why I think it wouldn't work and what might happen if we do go to the same college. Don't feel like i'm forbidding you to do anything." Payton took his hands and kissed his knuckles. "If you applied to the same college as I did because you wanted to go for yourself and your interests, of course you could go. I'm not telling you what to do and where to go."
"But you are. You're telling me to go to Harvard and have new experiences. My dad was the one who wanted to to go to Harvard. I never wanted to be apart of that life I want to be apart of yours. If you really want me to go then I'll do it. Why can't I spend my life with there person that I love and have every single day be torture? I trust you, but I don't trust other people. When I'm in school, I won't be able to focus because you won't be there with me. Please, do not say you're not ready to go to college with me."
"I never told you to go to Harvard. We won't be taking the same classes in college anyway. Trust that I can look after myself without you being there." Payton replied, pulling his hand away to rub at his eyes again. "I'm sorry if it makes you upset but I'm not ready. I don't want to stress myself or our relationship more than I can take. I'm sorry Kyle."
Kyle held his head, feeling the pain in his heart again. All he heard was words echoing in his head. Over and over and over again. "I'm not worth anything……you don't need me……you don't. I'm worthless….."
“Did you hear me say that?” Payton sighed, pulling Kyle into his arms and kissing the top of his head. “I’m not breaking up with you. I need you more than you know. Please don’t say that you’re worthless. Do you want to see Tyler? He called the ambulance for you.”
"I have to give Tyler back his guitar…..he's going to hate me……" Kyle whispered but nodded.
“Why would he hate you? And don’t give it back, I want to hear you sing.” Payton told him, running his fingers through his hair.
Kyle looked. "How did you…..know?" He started to cry again. "You weren't….supposed to know!"
Shit that wasn’t smart.. “Know what?” Payton asked, holding him tighter. “I just thought you could sing me something if you had a guitar, but if you don’t know how to play then I guess not..”
"Meanie, it was Rowan who told wasn't it?!" he yelled. "It was supposed to be a surprise!" Kyle hit Payton's chest lightly. "You still can't know….what the song is….until your birthday. So I won't sing anything until then! Maybe the song will show you have I feel…." Kyle whispered the last part. "Is Rowan outside? I have a word or two to say to him!"
Payton laughed and kissed Kyle all over his face. “Don’t be mean to him. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
Payton picked up his phone and texted Rowan. everything’s mostly okay. I think we’ve resolved some major things but he wants you to come in so he can yell at you
Rowan's pocket vibrated and he looked at the text and shook his head. "I think he's just fine." Rowan stood up. "Go get Tyler. I'll have a talk with Kyle." Rowan pecked his lips before entering the room. "Hey…"
Kyle glared over at Rowan. "You…." he said in a monotone voice. "Why did you tell him?~" he wined.
Grayson nodded and found Tyler sitting and gazing at the window, a blank look on his face. “Kyle’s okay. Him and Payton are working things out.”
Payton giggled and buried his face in Kyle’s neck. “Don’t be mad at him!” He pleaded, glad to have Kyle close to him again.
"You didn't tell him the song did you?" Kyle growled
"No, I didn't, promise." Rowan grinned holding up his pinky.
"Last time, I trusted you, you told Payton what his birthday gift was. At least you didn't tell him where it was. What's to say you won't do it again?" Kyle stuck out his tongue.
Payton watched them with an amused look. “Shhhh Kylleeee~ It’s okay.” He reassured him, pulling him back against his chest.
Kyle cupped Payton's cheeks and kissed his lips. "We'll talk about college later….Did you tell your mom that I was here?"
“No, do you want me to? We..uh..we tried to get ahold of your parents but they didn’t pick up.” Payton said quietly, glancing up at Rowan.
Kyle's smile faded. "Don't bother. They wouldn't even come if they heard I was in the hospital. They don't have time for their son and I'm alright with that…" Kyle wasn't okay with it. It was another reason why he cut himself. Not because of the attention, but because they weren't his parents at all. They were just two strangers who gave him life and paid the bills when they came. They weren't even here to pay the bills they would just send checks.
(You want me to take Rowan back for a while since we're not really doing anything with the others?)
"I'll call my parents in a bit, okay? You can stay with us when they let you out of the hospital." Payton said, running his fingers through Kyle's hair.
(sure!)
Kyle nodded "Is it because I…." he didn't have to finish his sentence for Payton to understand what he meant.
"Can I come stay cause I have neglectful parents too?!" Rowan asked excitedly, flopping down on the bed next to Payton.
"It's because I want to keep you safe and be with you." Payton kissed his temple, laughing at Rowan. "No you can't stay with us. Lily would never leave her room."
Kyle raised an eyebrow. "What did he do to my little dragon?!" He glared at Rowan.
“I didn’t do anything!!” Rowan giggled, sticking his tongue out. “I’m just too irresistible I guess~”
Payton rolled his eyes, flicking Rowan in the head. “She’s almost 6. She’s bound to fall in love with everybody she meets.”