forum Guess who is completely out of steam?! (0/0 GAY and CLOSED)

Started January 09, 2020 by Deleted user

tune

Edit topic

“But what if another guy come into your life where will I be. Please let me go to the same college as you. I’m begging you.” Kyle wined.

“I’ll never find anyone that I love more than you, baby.” He murmured. “Please go. You’ll be amazing. We’ll visit each other all the time.”

“Well, Harvard is far from everything. I don’t want to not have time for you. I’ll be busy and I didn’t even want to go. My mom made we do the application. Just please let me go with you!” Kyle held Payton’s hands wishing he would say yes.

“You have to have had a school that you wanted to go to before this, right? Rowan and Grayson do long distance and they’re doing perfectly!” Payton replied hopefully.

“The school I wanted to go to was any school that you went to. I’m scared Payton…I don’t want to lose you.” Kyle sighed as he finally said it.

“You aren’t going to lose me..” Payton replied gently, wrapping his arms around Kyle and pulling him close in a hug. “I’m yours, only yours forever.”

“Then please let me go to college with you. That’s all I ever wanted.” Kyle begged.

“Can I just ask..why are you so insistent on going to college with me? Don’t you want a better education?”

“Is it bad that I want to be with my boyfriend you I love?” Kyle frowned.

“No, of course it’s not but I don’t want to wake up every morning and feel like you could be doing so much more with your life and education.” Payton gripped him tighter.

“Or do you not want to wake up every morning to see me?” Kyle asked looked up at Payton.

“I do but I want you to live up to your full potential and go to an Ivy League school and make smart friends and call and text me about how amazing it is and we’ll see each other over breaks and I’ll come surprise you sometimes and we’ll spend Christmas and holidays together. It’ll be okay Kyle, just trust me. We can make this work and we’ll love each other even more.” Payton told him, his voice trembling slightly towards the end.

Kyle sighed. “Seriously is that the only reason or is there something else because you’ve been distant. Yesterday you rushed me out of your house and now you don’t want to go to college with me. Most couples do that. They go to college together. I don’t want to call you. I want to wake up never to you every morning.” Kyle sighed.

“No that’s the only reason, I swear. I just..I have a lot to think about. I’m sorry if I’ve been distant. We..we don’t have to talk about this right now..um…I just want you to make the best decision for yourself and your future, not just me and our relationship. Sorry for..um..sorry..” He stepped back towards the door.

“Why are you backing away from me and what’s the other reasons…” Kyle moved closer to Payton.

“There aren’t any more reasons, I promise. I mean, I’m happy, I just got into my top college but I don’t want to feel like I’m holding you back. No matter how much you try and convince me, I can’t picture myself happily going to college with you. I’m sorry, Kyle..I’m sorry…” He felt his eyes stinging, taking another step back. “I want you to live up to your potential. We’ll be okay..”

Kyle’s eyes widened “Don’t be my dad. I don’t need that. I need a boyfriend who can love and support me no matter what choice I make. Why are you treating me like your son.” His eyes started to water.

“Are you trying to tell me that I’m not loving and supporting you? I’ve been trying so hard Kyle! I’ve never been in a relationship before and now you’re asking me all this stuff about our future and marriage and kids! Am I supposed to be thinking about all that? I don’t know if I’m ready to live in the same room with you for four years! I love you so much but I don’t want to think about marriage or kids or even having sex yet! I’m not ready to go to college and make all these decisions about my future! I’m not ready!” He sobbed, wiping at his eyes. “I’m sorry! I’m really sorry..”

“Well I can. How about I make them for and break up? I know what I want to do and that’s be with you every step of the way. You know what you just said. You said I’m not ready to be with you after high school. Why is college and high school any different and then when I talked about marriage. You basically sorry I’m not ready to love you forever. Then kids. The way you and I play with Lily it’s already like our kid. I don’t know if you noticed, but you’re going to college and now is the time to be thinking about your future. If I’m the only one doing that then maybe we shouldn’t be together…” It hurt Kyle to say it. “I’m left here, thinking about what could happen but you aren’t and then I feel like I’m not doing enough so I try harder and your future is blank to you? Am I not in it. Are we not together in the future? Every single possibility I run through my head we’re always together happy.” He snickered. “Am I living in a fantasy. Or is reality catching up to me. Why can’t I be with you in the future. But hey you already turned down my marriage proposal. So what’s next? Might as well not be in your life anymore because your not ready to love the way I love you.”

Payton choked back a sob, shaking his head. “Stop twisting my words and making assumptions about how I feel. Did you forget all of the times I told you I’ll love you forever and I want to spend the rest of my life with you?! Maybe you should try and stop pressuring me to make all these decisions about our life together! I didn’t even know what college I was going to until an hour ago! Don’t you trust me and my love enough to know that I would never fall in love with someone else or cheat on you?! Oh and sorry that I haven’t been taking all of my time to think about our future, Kyle! I’ve been pretty worried about my psychopath uncle that’s probably going to kill me anyway! I’m so sorry that apparently I can’t love you enough and that I can’t live up to your standards as a boyfriend. And don’t get mad at me for turning down your marriage proposal. I can make my own decisions and this might sound crazy to you but no matter how much I love you, I’m not accepting a proposal at 17 and after four months of dating.” He glared at him, hands clenched to keep from trembling.

“That’s…not what I meant…I…” Kyle turned his head. “I….didn’t…I just…I want…you…” Kyle wiped his tears, turning around. “If that’s what you really want I’ll go to Harvard. Happy?”

“No, no I get it. That’s exactly what you mean. I don’t care where you go to college. Just stop chasing me around like I’m some stupid whore who’ll cheat on you as soon as I get away. And sorry for not wanting to be tied down with marriage before I’m even 18. I thought that was pretty reasonable.” Payton turned and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

Kyle fell to the ground once the door slammed. He sat there and cried in his own puddle of tears. He felt like he was worth nothing. He felt like his life meant nothing. But he tried to go and die it would seem as selfish. Then if he tries to go back he’ll be begging at his knees for forgiveness. Either way everything is pinned on him just like it always was. So he just sat there and trembled. Wondering what to do next. Kyle texted Tyler. Can you meet me tomorrow?

(This is sad but I love it :)

Payton felt numb all over. He faked a grin as he walked back into his house, letting it disappear as soon as he got into his room. Did we just break up? He realized, sinking to the floor and frowning down at it. What am I supposed to do now?

Sure, what time?