forum Your personal venting space.

Started January 17, 2019 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

I turn eighteen in less than three weeks. I graduate in less than three months. I start college in August and I’m stressed.
My entire life is changing in such a short amount of time and I can’t do anything about it. I’m getting completely sick over it…
I don’t know what to do or how to cope with anything and it doesn’t help that everyone acts like they want me to move on. I’ve distanced myself from my friends because what’s the point of trying if I’m leaving? I’ve begun going out less and less.
My depression and anxiety is spiking at an alarming rate. My heart feels so heavy and I’m always on the verge of tears.
I’m just so afraid of moving on and leaving…

Believe me, I can relate. I'm going to move in a few months, going to graduate too. I know how much of a pain in the ask you think this is going to be, but remember, but you have to keep trying, because if you don't, you're probably going to waste away. And I know you don't want that. I know the ones around you don't want that. And I understand. In just the last two months, the two best friends of mine passed away, I figured out I'm going to be moving very soon, and I'm about to graduate in a few more months. I can relate. I'm also getting pretty damn useless as of late. Just remember that you can't let yourself stagnate. But you can't let yourself be the same, and eventually waste away. If you need to talk to someone about something you don't want to put on General chat, then you can make a personal message with me. I'm always open to helping people.

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

We're here for you, okay? If you need any help or emotional support, I'm right here. My brother just graduated from college and will be moving out in a few months. It's… Scary, and I'm here to help you through it. Everything's going to be fine, trust me.

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

Of course. I understand that you needed to get it off your chest.

We're here for you, okay? If you need any help or emotional support, I'm right here. My brother just graduated from college and will be moving out in a few months. It's… Scary, and I'm here to help you through it. Everything's going to be fine, trust me.

Thank you.

It’s actually the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.
. ^^’

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

Of course. I understand that you needed to get it off your chest.

Ooofff it feels better already

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

Of course. I understand that you needed to get it off your chest.

Ooofff it feels better already

I'm glad. I know this is probably terrifying you. I just want you to know that it's probably something you'll be able to do rather easily.

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

Of course. I understand that you needed to get it off your chest.

Ooofff it feels better already

I'm glad. I know this is probably terrifying you. I just want you to know that it's probably something you'll be able to do rather easily.

I really hope so.

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

Of course. I understand that you needed to get it off your chest.

Ooofff it feels better already

I'm glad. I know this is probably terrifying you. I just want you to know that it's probably something you'll be able to do rather easily.

I really hope so.

You have my care, support, and all around willingness to help if you ever need it. Or totally here for you. For anything you might need, just come back here and ask. You seem like a very pragmatic person.

@Shuri-kun's-Clipped-Wings
Thank you.
I just need to get it off my chest. No one in my real life seems to care enough to listen. It’s driving me mad. I just can’t keep going without telling someone

Of course. I understand that you needed to get it off your chest.

Ooofff it feels better already

I'm glad. I know this is probably terrifying you. I just want you to know that it's probably something you'll be able to do rather easily.

I really hope so.

You have my care, support, and all around willingness to help if you ever need it. Or totally here for you. For anything you might need, just come back here and ask. You seem like a very pragmatic person.

Thank you!!!

Of course.

Okay, right in the middle of emotional stuff… but I need to get this off my chest.
So. I'm in this program. It is very demanding. It takes a TON of time, energy, and commitment. I love it. What I do NOT love, is the fact that some of my peers, are complete idiots.

This program is Cadets. It takes a ton of time, energy, and comitment, if you actually wanna succeed in this program. You have to participate. You have to take care of a uniform (Two actually). And you must learn Drill, and show up on a regular weekly basis.

I have been in this program for almost three years now. I'm mid-way up the ranks. I could be in better standings, but I'm at least in the good side, or at least I would be if it weren't for the rest of my Star-level.

NOTE: In cadets age groups are separated into star level. Gr. 9, (ME) Is Silver star, For the most part this is the third year for everyone in it. There is also;
Green Star: These are all the newbies each year.
Red Star: This is where you get more responsibility cause you're usually in your second year.
Silver Star: (ME) This is where they start prepping you to lead the other star levels. This includes: Teaching classes, leading sections or groups of cadets on Field Training Exercises, or parade, and generally helping the actual Adult staff.
Gold Star: These are the Kids at the top, (16-17 yrs old) Who do a lot of the basic leadership, and organization.
Master Cadet: These are the people close to ageing out (You age out at 18) and are the leading cadets.

My star level is full of goofs. They don't listen. They WILL NOT SHUT UP. They cannot do drill properly to save their lives, even on a PUBLIC TELEVISED Parade. This whole thing has gotten so bad that I'm seriously thinking about handing back my uniforms and quitting. But I love the program so much that I don't wanna leave. I would transfer to another core, but I like the one I'm in, and I don't wanna have to get used to new faces, new leaders, new customs, ect.
I don't know what to do about it anymore, but at the moment it is getting to be very stressful just to go, and going is something I dread. I don't like that I'm hating the fact that I have to go. And honestly, at this point, the only reason I am going, is so that I can earn my Silver Star certificate so I can use it on job applications, and cause we're more than halfway through the training year.
One of the main issues I have is the fact that it is physically ten times harder for me to do drill properly because of my ADHD. When I go to Cadets, my medication has usually worn off. This means that I have to somehow force myself to stay absolutely still, not look around, and not talk, when doing drill. Unfortunately, the kids who supposedly Don't have this issue, can't stand at attention (Basically just standing perfectly still and silent with your hands at your sides and your feet in a certain position, which is Designed to allow a human to stay that way for long periods of time) for more than five freaking seconds. I want sooooooo badly just to scream at them to tell them to shut the Fuck up. But if I do then I will be committing the same acts of insubordination that they are.
This has gotten so bad that my entire Star level has lost breaks between classes, (This means I can't talk to one of my friends face to face in one of the Only places I see her) and the few goofs are dragging down EVERYONE'S good reputation, which means they're pulling me away from a promotion, better camp opportunities, ect.

I know this might seem kinda petty, but this has been going on (and has only gotten worse) since day 1, when I joined.

Starry, I understand. But I'll tell you one thing. You need to stand up, show your strength, your grit, and your pride. No matter how bad it gets, you need to keep going, and show how much determination, resolve, and personal power you have. Not just for the job applications, but for self-discipline and betterment. You need to show everyone, you need to make a name for yourself. Stick out. Prove that you're a cut above the rest. Because I can tell you right now, as far as it seems, oh, you are. You and I have a PM which is mostly used for writing, but you can get on to it, and you can use it to vent about your experiences at Cadets.

Starry, I understand. But I'll tell you one thing. You need to stand up, show your strength, your grit, and your pride. No matter how bad it gets, you need to keep going, and show how much determination, resolve, and personal power you have. Not just for the job applications, but for self-discipline and betterment. You need to show everyone, you need to make a name for yourself. Stick out. Prove that you're a cut above the rest. Because I can tell you right now, as far as it seems, oh, you are. You and I have a PM which is mostly used for writing, but you can get on to it, and you can use it to vent about your experiences at Cadets.

Thanks a ton Shuri, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that…

Starry, I understand. But I'll tell you one thing. You need to stand up, show your strength, your grit, and your pride. No matter how bad it gets, you need to keep going, and show how much determination, resolve, and personal power you have. Not just for the job applications, but for self-discipline and betterment. You need to show everyone, you need to make a name for yourself. Stick out. Prove that you're a cut above the rest. Because I can tell you right now, as far as it seems, oh, you are. You and I have a PM which is mostly used for writing, but you can get on to it, and you can use it to vent about your experiences at Cadets.

Thanks a ton Shuri, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that…

No problem. That's what I'm here for. A lot of riding but I mean you know oh, I'm getting to that.

Starry, I understand. But I'll tell you one thing. You need to stand up, show your strength, your grit, and your pride. No matter how bad it gets, you need to keep going, and show how much determination, resolve, and personal power you have. Not just for the job applications, but for self-discipline and betterment. You need to show everyone, you need to make a name for yourself. Stick out. Prove that you're a cut above the rest. Because I can tell you right now, as far as it seems, oh, you are. You and I have a PM which is mostly used for writing, but you can get on to it, and you can use it to vent about your experiences at Cadets.

Thanks a ton Shuri, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that…

No problem. That's what I'm here for. A lot of riding but I mean you know oh, I'm getting to that.

You're the best kind of friend anyone could ask for!

Starry, I understand. But I'll tell you one thing. You need to stand up, show your strength, your grit, and your pride. No matter how bad it gets, you need to keep going, and show how much determination, resolve, and personal power you have. Not just for the job applications, but for self-discipline and betterment. You need to show everyone, you need to make a name for yourself. Stick out. Prove that you're a cut above the rest. Because I can tell you right now, as far as it seems, oh, you are. You and I have a PM which is mostly used for writing, but you can get on to it, and you can use it to vent about your experiences at Cadets.

Thanks a ton Shuri, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that…

No problem. That's what I'm here for. A lot of riding but I mean you know oh, I'm getting to that.

You're the best kind of friend anyone could ask for!

I'm not so sure.

Starry, I understand. But I'll tell you one thing. You need to stand up, show your strength, your grit, and your pride. No matter how bad it gets, you need to keep going, and show how much determination, resolve, and personal power you have. Not just for the job applications, but for self-discipline and betterment. You need to show everyone, you need to make a name for yourself. Stick out. Prove that you're a cut above the rest. Because I can tell you right now, as far as it seems, oh, you are. You and I have a PM which is mostly used for writing, but you can get on to it, and you can use it to vent about your experiences at Cadets.

Thanks a ton Shuri, I didn't know how much I needed to hear that…

No problem. That's what I'm here for. A lot of riding but I mean you know oh, I'm getting to that.

You're the best kind of friend anyone could ask for!

I'm not so sure.

Yes you are. And You cannot tell me otherwise!

My star level is full of goofs. They don't listen. They WILL NOT SHUT UP. They cannot do drill properly to save their lives, even on a PUBLIC TELEVISED Parade. This whole thing has gotten so bad that I'm seriously thinking about handing back my uniforms and quitting. But I love the program so much that I don't wanna leave. I would transfer to another core, but I like the one I'm in, and I don't wanna have to get used to new faces, new leaders, new customs, ect.

I'm not really that good with giving advice, which is why I don't usually give it, but this did stick out to me. I don't think you should quit just because of a few people who are being immature. If this is something that you enjoy, then don't let them ruin it for you. I think you just need to do your best and stick with it. The fact that they can't even stand still, despite (apparently) being able to is only going to reflect badly on them.
Is there any possibility that you could bring this up with your leader? Maybe they might be able to help out with the situation?

Excellent thinking Starfast!!!

My star level is full of goofs. They don't listen. They WILL NOT SHUT UP. They cannot do drill properly to save their lives, even on a PUBLIC TELEVISED Parade. This whole thing has gotten so bad that I'm seriously thinking about handing back my uniforms and quitting. But I love the program so much that I don't wanna leave. I would transfer to another core, but I like the one I'm in, and I don't wanna have to get used to new faces, new leaders, new customs, ect.

I'm not really that good with giving advice, which is why I don't usually give it, but this did stick out to me. I don't think you should quit just because of a few people who are being immature. If this is something that you enjoy, then don't let them ruin it for you. I think you just need to do your best and stick with it. The fact that they can't even stand still, despite (apparently) being able to is only going to reflect badly on them.
Is there any possibility that you could bring this up with your leader? Maybe they might be able to help out with the situation?

unfortunately it's not just a few…. it's about a third of us. And our higher ups are doing all they can short of kicking people out. (And you have to be really really bad to get kicked out.) Unfortunately things aren't really changing cause the goofs in question don't care. Upside our Master Warrant Officer has said that if Drill with him during breaks for the next three weeks doesn't shape things up, he'll be bringing people in to talk with the CO. (He's the guy who runs all of our corp)

I’m terrified right now, the roads and my sidewalk are very slippery, and last time me and my brother dealt with this my brother ended up hurting himself, and I almost broke my 2DS. The roads being slippery isn’t good for huge buses filled with ignorant middle schoolers that can’t shut the fuck up at Fortnite and how it’s ‘the best game ever’ (I could rant about how much u hate Fortnite and his every game in existence is better but that’s besides the point.) Luckily when the roads were very slippery I lied my way out of going, and my brother didn’t go either, and my mom was kind of happy, because buses were said to be sliding. School hasn’t gotten a delay, or a cancell so far, but it’s final for our (me, Emi and my brothers) county Which to clarify I’m up at 5:00AM right now and I have been for about 3 hours being finalized at the board at 5:30 and county wide info around 6:00. I can’t sleep, I’m filled with anxiety that I’ll be forced to go and end up dying along with my brother, maybe Emi, Destiny, and my other friends… I might lie for my brothers sake, and my own, come out clean, I need to do something…. what do you all have as advice?

I’m terrified right now, the roads and my sidewalk are very slippery, and last time me and my brother dealt with this my brother ended up hurting himself, and I almost broke my 2DS. The roads being slippery isn’t good for huge buses filled with ignorant middle schoolers that can’t shut the fuck up at Fortnite and how it’s ‘the best game ever’ (I could rant about how much u hate Fortnite and his every game in existence is better but that’s besides the point.) Luckily when the roads were very slippery I lied my way out of going, and my brother didn’t go either, and my mom was kind of happy, because buses were said to be sliding. School hasn’t gotten a delay, or a cancell so far, but it’s final for our (me, Emi and my brothers) county Which to clarify I’m up at 5:00AM right now and I have been for about 3 hours being finalized at the board at 5:30 and county wide info around 6:00. I can’t sleep, I’m filled with anxiety that I’ll be forced to go and end up dying along with my brother, maybe Emi, Destiny, and my other friends… I might lie for my brothers sake, and my own, come out clean, I need to do something…. what do you all have as advice?

Woah. Fortunately I know exactly how you feel, and I get that you're worried. Unfortunately I don't know what to do about this. All I can say is good luck my friend.

I’m terrified right now, the roads and my sidewalk are very slippery, and last time me and my brother dealt with this my brother ended up hurting himself, and I almost broke my 2DS. The roads being slippery isn’t good for huge buses filled with ignorant middle schoolers that can’t shut the fuck up at Fortnite and how it’s ‘the best game ever’ (I could rant about how much u hate Fortnite and his every game in existence is better but that’s besides the point.) Luckily when the roads were very slippery I lied my way out of going, and my brother didn’t go either, and my mom was kind of happy, because buses were said to be sliding. School hasn’t gotten a delay, or a cancell so far, but it’s final for our (me, Emi and my brothers) county Which to clarify I’m up at 5:00AM right now and I have been for about 3 hours being finalized at the board at 5:30 and county wide info around 6:00. I can’t sleep, I’m filled with anxiety that I’ll be forced to go and end up dying along with my brother, maybe Emi, Destiny, and my other friends… I might lie for my brothers sake, and my own, come out clean, I need to do something…. what do you all have as advice?

Woah. Fortunately I know exactly how you feel, and I get that you're worried. Unfortunately I don't know what to do about this. All I can say is good luck my friend.

Well thank Jesus Christ that he spared me two hours. We have a two hour delay, which is what I was praying for, I didn’t care if it was either cancelled or a two hour delay to be honest, but at least he didn’t tell me ‘nope you die today’ and had it not cancelled or delayed.