It's basically this weird thing Quebecois do where it's French, but random English words are stuck in at random intervals. And it's rapid-fire French, but then there's English in there. Takes twice the brainpower to understand.
How… will he kill you? I have no idea, and he's disappeared to go fishing with his friends. That'll have to wait till tomorrow.
Were you snorting at what he calls the story or snorting at his name?
Sure. You probably will have been attacked by vicious monkeys [another story from experience, but you never make eye contact with them. obviously. Danny did.]
Okay, give me a coupe minute sto type it out
I'm not on duty next Sunday. The next time I'm on duty is in two Sunday's time, and Danny's back on apprenticeship duty this Sunday. So the news about your story may be exaggerated next week.
I chuckle Fair.
Nope. He won't.
What he calls the story.
Probably, but I'll have won.
Okee!
Ah, that sucks.
You'll have won? Against macaques and orang-utans. Do you- I shake my head Okay, but don't bring any hand sanitizer unless you want them to chug it. And then spit it on some touron's shoes. Also, don't engage them in tug-of-war if you like your arms where they are.
Here is le story
So, we were in Indonesia visiting our cousins. We went to this place in Bali, basically a giant… stepladder, I guess? Stairway, maybe, or waterfalls, one leading into another, with a good pool-size pool in between. Some were smooth enough to slide down, and some were completely safe to jump down. I was going to jump down one, and Danny was too.
Danny was behind me in line and wanted to be in front. He pushed me, I pushed back, etc, and he fell. Belly-first, mind you, and he was completely fine. He tells it like he didn't scream like a dying goat. I tell it like it was. And he definitely did.
I shrug The monkies were never specified 'til now. I look concerned Hand sanitizer? I never have any on hand anyways, so that's no problem. I chuckle I'm stronger than you'd think, hun.
I chuckle Kids are indestructable. So it makes sense. I laugh Dying goat. That's a new one.
Fair. Yes, hand sanitizer. As well as any and every other easily openable container, anything with zippers, etc.
So are orang-utans, though.
Danny? Indestructible? He broke his leg on a very flimsy screen door. He gets so hurt that he nearly cries when he bumps a table. No, Danny's very destructible. As proved by two monkeys, an orang-utan, a camel and a baby bat. Not all at once, though.
I've been told me laughing sounds liek a dying goat, but no way do I sound liek Danny falling down a waterfall when I laugh.
So, I had to run fetch Danny home from fishing. He'd explained the Tale Of Danny, Etc. to his friends, and was asking on ways to kill you.
Because that's a completely normal conversation for sixth graders to have.
Anyway, they're considering blowing you up with enough nukes to completely destroy Maine. [though this math was done by sixth graders, and is definitely wrong.]
Danny shrugged and sent gorillas down there too. I told him gorillas don't live in Bali, so he shrugged again, moved the story to Sumatra and dropped two tigers.
Huh. I shrug Your point is?
Eh, fair enough.
I snicker despite myself Sorry. But the image of a little kid (as in baby goat) trying to climb a waterfall as it screams and falls is very amusing, for some reason.
A nuke would definitely do it. The Tsar Bomba nuke, especially. Can never be too careful, lol.
A child of some culture, I see, even if he is a brat.
what happened here
I dunno. Little kids think I'm some sort of pirate warrior or something. Hard to tell.
Huh. I shrug Your point is?
Eh, fair enough.
I snicker despite myself Sorry. But the image of a little kid (as in baby goat) trying to climb a waterfall as it screams and falls is very amusing, for some reason.
A nuke would definitely do it. The Tsar Bomba nuke, especially. Can never be too careful, lol.
A child of some culture, I see, even if he is a brat.
I have no idea what my point was. It's probably back at the mill, along with the remnants of a child's confidence in math.
… What about a baby gorilla getting tangled up in a clothesline and hiding in a police car?
^ That is not a normal sentence.
Do explain.
Explain both sentences, please.
I mean, I forgot my point, probably because I was busy explaining that it would take a lot less than 1, 053 nukes to destroy Maine, especially if they think it only takes 36 for Rhode Island.
A baby gorilla in Indonesia [all the best stories come from there] was playing "tag" with a sibling/friend/cousin/acquaintance. He ran into a clothesline, which was full of twoels they had been playing with. Small gorilla got tangled in towel, got scared bc he couldn't see, and ran around in a frenzy. He wound up in a parking lot, and the police car had the windows down. It was an undercover dark one too, so it prolly looked more welcoming and safe and cave-like than the other cars. He climbed in.
It took them about an hour to sort it out. The policeman was very confused.
Ah. . . makes sense. Kinda.
Huh. In Indonesia, of all places. Weird.
It makes about as much sense as that kid's math.
Yeah. There would be some from Egypt and Germany too, but I don't remember everything. The only remotely funny things I remember are a camel spitting at A, R puking into the Nile and a giraffe peeing in Frankfurt.
Behold. An abrupt topic change.
I walked into Danny's room and found him drawing - no surprise there. He's really good. He's drawing an elephant lying down on top of someone.
I guess he thought tigers weren't heavy enough.
Lol.
Huh. Why on top of someone, though?
It's the newest plot to kill you.
Because it probably wouldn't be considered 'proper' to tell a bunch of four year olds a story of a person being exploded by hundreds of nukes. Not to mention that he'd have to draw that, which would both take him a long time and he'd have to figure out how to make it suitable for tiny humans.
He does realize that I could. . . you know. . . move out of the way, right?
Tiny humans would indeed find it horrifying to not even see me being vaporized by nukes.
Haha logic strikes again!
He made a point of drawing your brains on the floor. …he drew them tiny.
I growl That's it, that child is going down.
He added an elephant planting a flag in your stomach while people cheer.
The geese have been deployed.
