forum The LGBTQ+ Community Chat :)
Started by @Tylerrr-M-P
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Coby

I used to be more than now, but like… kinda? I just have a hard time letting myself have feelings for him because I think if he knew the real me, he wouldn't be. y'know? sigh my life is a mess

@CW-BornConfuzzledLeftILoveYa

Well, if he is a nice, caring, mature person, you could find a quiet moment to tell him.
"Hey, I kinda like you, but I'm nonbinary." Maybe not like that, but kinda? I'm not NB, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

Coby

okay, that does seem the most straightforward way to do it. oof. We'll see if a good opportunity arises, that seems like the most painless way to do it. And he's the kinda guy who (I think) wouldn't just tell everyone else if he did know. Thanks, that was actually really helpful! Might have been just me getting this outta my head, but getting an outside perspective really helped. Thanks friendo!

@Overdoneyanoveltropeyesplease

I think I have a problem and I have no idea what to do about it. So I'm not out as non-binary to anyone except my sister and like… this chat room obvsly. The problemo is, that I'm basically positive one of my good friends has a crush on me - or rather who he thinks I am. And like… I like him too but I don't want to show that I return those feelings because, unfortunately, I live in a community where almost everyone (including him) thinks non-binary people aren't real, and that anyone in the lgbt+ community needs to 'repent' and I know he'd be really weirded out and possibly stop talking to me if I told him I was non-binary. He's just really super nice, and he's always saying how funny and cool I am and I don't want to lose this friendship, but I know he wouldn't like me if he knew the truth. Any thoughts? I'm super frustrated about this.

Okay, I’m confused. You are non-binary. But at school you aren’t out. So what do people think you are? I’m genuinely curious because I’ve never actually considered that issue. What do you do?

Coby

I think I have a problem and I have no idea what to do about it. So I'm not out as non-binary to anyone except my sister and like… this chat room obvsly. The problemo is, that I'm basically positive one of my good friends has a crush on me - or rather who he thinks I am. And like… I like him too but I don't want to show that I return those feelings because, unfortunately, I live in a community where almost everyone (including him) thinks non-binary people aren't real, and that anyone in the lgbt+ community needs to 'repent' and I know he'd be really weirded out and possibly stop talking to me if I told him I was non-binary. He's just really super nice, and he's always saying how funny and cool I am and I don't want to lose this friendship, but I know he wouldn't like me if he knew the truth. Any thoughts? I'm super frustrated about this.

Okay, I’m confused. You are non-binary. But at school you aren’t out. So what do people think you are? I’m genuinely curious because I’ve never actually considered that issue. What do you do?

I basically pretend to be a girl, and it kinda sucks. People think I'm a girl, they refer to me as a girl, and I guess they see me as a girl. It's really weird for me to think about, actually. Cuz like in my own head I'm just me, and I know I'm non-binary. and then when I remember not everyone sees me like that its like 'oh yeah, that.' I wish I could come out, and I'm considering coming out to a select few friends, but I'm worried it would get back to my lgbt+-phobic parents so I haven't yet. My life is basically a disaster lol.

@Overdoneyanoveltropeyesplease

@Coby if it helps at all, I’m out to my friends at school (and my sister but that was a really weird time for me it doesn’t really count because she doesn’t know diddly shit and thinks I’m a lesbian), but not to my parents. No one has ever said anything to my parents ever. I try to make it a point that I’m not actually out at home to avoid that. But I understand that it’s not really for sure. It’s tricky. I get it.
Whatever you do, do it only if you are comfortable and know it’s safe.
One friend I came out to, I asked if she was LBGT+ supportive, and not just like ‘oh yeah it’s okay I guess,’ but like actually like, ‘it’s fine and homophobes are sorely misguided’ so I knew it was safe for her to know. She was supportive, so I came out. And it didn’t change anything. My advice: be safe, be happy, be healthy

Hope it helps.

Deleted user

Hey guys, one of my best friends has a huge crush on me… How do I tell him I'm aromantic without breaking up our friendship?

Deleted user

He has no clue what any of this is, and he's from a traditional Chinese family so I don't know!

@actualdragon

Hey guys, one of my best friends has a huge crush on me… How do I tell him I'm aromantic without breaking up our friendship?

maybe tell him that you seriously value his friendship, but you're aro and that you don't like him in that way? definitely stress how important the friendship is to you tho
…do you know DBT skills? DEARFAST or just regular FAST maybe

@Moxie group

I would say maybe ask him what he thinks/knows about it, or just tell him about what being aro is to feel him out? Just to see how he reacts. I know it can be hard to bring up lgbtq+ conversations, but thats my first piece of advice.