Heyo! I'm am really really stuck right now. I broke up with my youth group boyfriend around nine months ago, and as of August he and my best friend are dating. I'm done with my best friend (she lied/hid stuff/kissed him and didn't tell me, etc.) I tried to work stuff out with her and it didn't fix anything. But now I have two other problems. 1. I'm still not over my ex because I really loved him, but after talking to him I am 98% sure he didn't love me. It hurts more than I can describe when I see them together because they are everything he and I always wanted to be. 2. My best friend dumped his cousin to be with my ex. She says she didn't do it because of my ex, but they were together less than a week later. Even more, I think that I am falling in love with my ex's cousin. I know the difference between a crush and being in love, and I think I am seriously falling, and I think he might be too. But I don't want to be a rebound, and I don't want to be a replacement. I want to know why he likes me. We technically aren't allowed to date yet, and I don't want to complicate our friendship, but I don't want to keep getting closer to him if all I a is a shoulder to cry on, which I think that is what I was to my ex. But at the same time, i really miss my ex because of all the good times. I'm so confused!!!!!! Please help me!!!!
Wow. This is complex. But are you happy that he's happy?
I don't know. I guess I am, but it hurts that I couldn't make him happy.
I understand. But you don't have to feel invalid. Sometimes it's just that way, believe me, I've had my fair share of relationship troubles. I bet you're awesome! And there's no need to worry about being a rebound if you and this other guy really love eachother it's cool!
Okay, thank you so much. I really appreciate your advice. You are super awesome for heping me and my dumb problems.
BTW to anyone else I'm still open to advice, I like getting different opinions.
I would love to help, but only you have a good chance of knowing how you actually feel. Now, take my advice with a grain of salt because I have relationship issues as well, so my mind might be clouded.
You don’t know anything for sure. And you aren’t allowed to date yet. So my advice is move forwards very slowly. That way you don’t jump in headfirst. There are two good reasons why. If you go slow, you have a better chance of backing out if things aren’t right without much emotional trouble.
Second, you will have a better relationship that will have developed over time, instead of a rushed, hormone induced passion.
I would love to help, but only you have a good chance of knowing how you actually feel. Now, take my advice with a grain of salt because I have relationship issues as well, so my mind might be clouded.
You don’t know anything for sure. And you aren’t allowed to date yet. So my advice is move forwards very slowly. That way you don’t jump in headfirst. There are two good reasons why. If you go slow, you have a better chance of backing out if things aren’t right without much emotional trouble.
Second, you will have a better relationship that will have developed over time, instead of a rushed, hormone induced passion.
Thank you, I appreciate it. That is sort of what I am aiming for right now, and I definitely won't be telling him how I feel anytime soon. What is your take on my other issue?
Well… there’s not much I can say. All I can tell you is that It gets better and hurts less through time. Also if this guy wasn’t loving you then he didn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve your heartbreak, even if it doesn’t work that way.
Thanks. I hope it gets better soon. Thanks for your help.
He's right! Definitely go slow, and go soft! If that guy didn't love you he doesn't deserve you. I can say 100% that you're amazing!
Thank you!!! I love the Notebook community, you guys are the best!
HE TOLD ME HE REALLY REALLY LIKES ME AND I SAID IT BACK WHAT DO I DO GUYS I NEED HELP
That's awesome!!! Talk to him!! Ask him out! What exactly do you want to do?
THAT'S SO AWESOME! Tell him your feelings! I can help you be extra poetic if you like!
Make sure he knows what you need and respects that. (Especially the no dating thing. If he can't wait for you, he's not worth it.)
Yeah. Be sure you know what kind of person he really is.
You guys are so great! Yes, I will talk to him, we weren't sure what next, so I said we should talk on Sunday so we can both think things through. I am going to take it slow too! No need to tell me twice! And yes, that was going to be an issue for me (no dating) and I didn't really want stuff to change much, but his cousin texted me and explained that he and I are actually thinking along the same lines thank goodness. And yes, I will make sure I know what kind of person he is before committing to a relationship. Thank you guys for helping me analyze stuff, I will sleep easy tonight!
