forum I will critique your characters!!! Will tell you what I think without holding back! Have any questions just ask!! You have any questions?? You can contact me on my Discord!!! GinjaNinja#3214

Started October 01, 2018 by GinjaNinja

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Could you tell me what you think of my protagonist, please?

Could you critique my protagonist, please?

This is amazing, thanks! As for Nathan's weight, he is intentionally severely underweight. I will definitely keep you posted on the story :)

Hi, can u take a peek at one of my protags, please? qwq

@AJ
Definitely!
Her weight is mostly muscle so it fits, because muscle weighs more than fat. So that works.
Her Mannerisms point towards ADHD very good job with that. This is how I act. Almost down to a T. Minus the Southern lilt. With her ADHD you could add that she gets back into her obsessions. That is what happens to me a lot. I will become obsessed with doing something. Then around halfway through I lose interest in it completely, then a few months later I will find something about it and throw myself back into it. Not always though.
The Talking quickly/loudly is a common thing with ADHD people, from what I have seen, I talk so quickly when I'm not on my meds that no one knows what in the world I am talking about. I have to say something four-five times going slower each time before someone knows what I'm talking about. ADHD people are very fidgety. I am always moving in someway. Doesn't matter how it is. Fingers tapping, Knee jumping, Touching my finger tips to my thumb. Just always moving. When I catch myself I stop doing it. But as soon as I stop paying attention to it I start moving again.
I am very Impulsive!!! So it fits!
Also I tend to be blunt sometimes before I can think through what I am going to say if I don't know you. My brain works faster than my brain. So I don't have a filter half the time.
With her being very into Martial Arts is good. It gives her something good to do with her extra energy. I have been told It would be a good thing for me to look into for my extra energy.
Being into mechanics is also a good thing. Doing something with her hands. I love doing anything I can with Mechanics.
I love that she has ADHD and she is the Grim Reaper. All I can think about is her going to go collect a soul and getting distracted by something and not getting to the soul until hours after the fact.
I honestly absolutely love Mara. We have a lot in common. I absolutely love reading about characters that have ADHD. Not many people like making a character with it. So I tend to get a little overboard with the review. Sorry. Also not on my meds today. Which is why there is so much to read!
Anyway! You did a very very good job with her. I can find absolutely nothing that needs to be changed. Everything pertaining to ADHD is spot on and I love it! I want to be in the know about this book series.
Any Questions just let me know! I will definitely love to help with her!
–GinjaNinja

@Matthew
Absolutely! Just a little heads up before hand though. Today my meds are a no go and so the critique may be a bit long. Sorry. Just know that it will be thorough.
With him being lightly muscled I would make him a little heavier. Muscle weighs more than fat.
I think that the tattoo that is visible the more magic he uses is a good idea. I love the fact that his hair changes color with the more he uses magic. These are both good ideas.
I love that he always has a book with him. Literally me.
I think it is absolutely amazing that he plays so many instruments.
I think him being Atheist/Agnostic is really interesting.
I like that he is not very Spiritual but uses magic. I think it is pretty cool he is magical and isn't all spiritual like. A lot of people tend to go the spiritual route when dealing with magic. It is pretty refreshing.
I like that his favorite color is Turquoise and it's the same color his hair turns to when using magic.
I think if he knows Welsh would be an amazing thing to know. I am currently looking into learning it and I think Welsh on top of Japanese and German would be amazing. Mainly because all three of these languages are completely different.
I really like this character. Raph seems like a very good character. I can tell that you enjoyed making him. I would like to be updated on this story. I can see absolutely nothing wrong with him. He seems absolutely amazing.
–GinjaNinja

@Amber Alright that makes more sense with his weight.
Also thank you on keeping me updated on the story! I can't wait to read more about it!
Good luck with your writing.
–GinjaNinja

@Kohaku
Sure thing! Just letting you know that my meds are a no go. So this will probably be really long and I am sorry. But it will be thorough!
I think it is interesting for them to be 24 biologically but only 7-9 physically.
How do they play instruments with them being blind? It says they play instruments with cords and I can understand that. Just wondering how they managed to either teach them self or how they were taught.
Just curious how they manage to do a lot of things they do with them looking only around 8. As well as being just under 4'0'' tall. I would just go more into detail on how they manage to do any of the things they do.
I like Taiko. He sounds amazing.
Also did you make that picture in the Gallery??? Is that your art? If so, um, Very Very well done. It is amazing.
In conclusion the only thing I am confused by is the fact that they are so small and look very young but they seem to be in a group of people that seem like they do things that are not what children would do. The way you describe the group of friends seems like they are older. So I am just confused. If you could go into a little more detail with that it would probably help with any/ all confusion.
If you have any question just ask!!
–GinjaNinja

Awesome critique, thanks a lot o3o
For the instrument part, they sorta learned by listening at first, then slowly figured out what note each chord makes and how to make a tune. They learned how to play an instrument properly in time, and with a little help every now and then from someone else who knew how to play. Blind people today are able to learn how to play instruments in various ways so it's not that uncommon.
As for the doing things part, it's pretty much a mystery. Her actual specie is unknown, therefore everything weird she does is mostly blamed on her origins. Most logical explanation for it would be they have a very good hearing and somehow move around like a bat, using some kind of echolocation. Although they do trip or bump into things every now and then, if they're very tired or someone moved furniture around without them knowing.
Their height is also a subject of debate in the story, it feels very odd that Narion is really that small. But they are meant to be small. One can say that all the struggle caused by the sickness has slowed down their growth, but i'd say it's a specie thing again. Children from their specie are usually smaller than other race's offspring, so until they're older, Narion will stay smol. And the age thingy, their group of friends has ages from 12 to 14, who kinda treat them like a little sister, although their actual age is different. They just seem to know stuff.
And yes, that is my art in the gallery >////<
Tysm for the critique qwq
Mind if i send another boi? :"3

Here they are, again tysm o3o

@Kohaku That makes a lot more sense!! Alrighty thank you for the clarification!!
And seriously, you did an excellent job on the art!!
–GinjaNInja

@Kohaku
For Avatar Akitada.
It says that he does not like people but that he likes meet new people, He tries to help them solve their problems and consoles them. I think that since he does not like them at all he would not like to be around them all that much.
Honestly, great artist. I love your art style!!
He seems like a pretty good character. Nothing else I can really see. Good job. I like the fact that he was raised to be kind and understanding.
If you have any questions just ask!!
–GinjaNInja

Ahh tysm for the critique! o3o >///<
As for the controversy part, i said he doesn't like humans not people in general. There are other species aside from humans in that universe, so i hope i cleared out for you :"))
Again, tysm and i hope u don't mind if i send more characters :'))) I love the critiques (i would suggest reading all the info more carefully tho :')) )

@Kohaku
Sorry. I knew I was probably taking it wrong. I just get easily confused sometimes! I also tend to get ahead of myself, I tend to start writing before I am done reading.
Will definitely do though!!
And don't hesitate to send more characters!! It may take me a little bit to critique them but I will totally do it!
Tanthaliel,
I like him. He seems like he is a good character.
I like the fact that he would do anything to protect his family.
I like that he is an elf, (Might be a little biased, My favorite creature type when it comes to literally anything)
He seems like the kind of guy that would willingly hand himself over and get captured for those he cares about.
Which is, in my opinion, a good characteristic to have when you want to protect everyone at any cost.
I really like this character. I feel like I am already attached to a point with him and I haven't even read anything about the actual story. Which is a very good job well done on your part. To get your readers attached already.
Keep me updated on the story!!! I would love to read it.
any questions don't hesitate to ask!
–GinjaNInja

Ayy tysm again :"3
I'm still working on the story rn, but i'm giving my best to keep the story line at the same level with the characters :")))
Imma keep u in touch with it once i start rewriting it :'))
For now, imma send u this child. He's sorta a work in progress :'))

Hiiiii can you take a look at my charater Jamie???

Hi! I see you have a line haha, hope it's alright if I leave my boy Noah: Noah Araullo
He's part of my All-Asian-American boy band, in an alternative Hollywood universe, for context.

AHHHHHHHH! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN FOREVER, KALOOBIA!!!! I MISSED YOU!!!

@@JynnieStardust (woah what okay i didn't think anyone would react like that! Hi! yeah i've been keeping to myself but i need critiques haha. if you wanna come talk to me on private go ahead?? we shouldn't clog up someone else's topic though ^^)

@GinjaNinja
I know you're probably extremely busy with your own stuff and with all the requests for critiques (thank you for being nice with those btw) but if you could check out the main character for my Entire universe that has universes within dimensions within universes etc. it would be SUPER helpful… thanks a bunch!

Keep in mind he is meant to be op for the sake of being op, breaks the fourth wall, and is part of a magical species that has different limitations and functions (although they look human)
Edit: Oh and part of it is written in another language so if you don't understand anything just ask ^-^' sorry

I would just like to say that I am very very sorry for not answering people for so long!! I have been a little busy here lately and have not had a chance to come on here at all. So I am VERY sorry!!
–GinjaNinja

@Kohaku
Hello!! Sorry for taking sooo long in getting back to you for this critique! But lets get this show on the road!
BTW I already like this guy because of his name alone. :)
I have also never before seen someone make any of their characters eyes magenta. I find that highly interesting and I am now intrigued.
I find that his mannerisms are incredibly unique. I like that a lot about characters. Sometimes, not all the time, some people will tend to make their characters similar to a lot of other peoples, then as the story progresses they change a few things here and there. So I like the fact that he is unique from the very start.
I also enjoy his motivations, he is a kid but he already knows that he wants to help others. Very admirable.
I love that with his flaws that he tends to be overemotional. I enjoy that a lot because some people, again not all, tend to try and make their male characters stoic and "Manly" when in actuality guys have feelings too.
I also find it admirable that he left his town for his mothers safety. This shows how he cares for others safety.
HOLD THE PHONE— HE CAN MATERIALIZE OBJECTS FROM DRAWINGS?! That right there is literally one of the coolest freaking things I have ever heard of. Question- would you mind if I ever used something like that? I would make it a bit different so as to not be blatant stealing but that would be so freaking cool, and helpful in one of my stories! If not I totally understand but I love that idea a lot.
Dude, this character sounds like a solid piece. I see absolutely nothing wrong and just about everything about him basically SCREAMS "Amazing Freaking Character". So all the thumbs up to you!
Have any questions you know what to do!!
–GinjaNinja

Hey @bailey.bouvier
It says "Page cannot be found". IDK what's going on there, but I can't critique Jamie. I'm not really sure what is going on there. Sorry man.
Have any other questions just let me know!
–GinjaNinja

@Kaloobia
Sure thing! I would love to look at your character Noah!! sorry for taking so long to get back to you! School is absolutely killing me right now! But it is all good! Lets get to it!
AHHH HE IS A DANCER!! Love that. Like I get dancing for the band, BUT is he was like also a dancer like, Jeez words are apparently harder for me today, If he was like say a ballerina type of dancer as well??? It would help him keep in shape. NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD DO THAT!! Just saying that would be pretty cool. A lot of people don't think that dancing is an actually workout or anything. But let me tell ya, Ballet?? BEST SPORT I HAVE EVER WITNESSED. My Step-Mom was in Ballet for 23 years and let me tell you- she has not actually danced like she used to in like almost 7-8?? years?? and she still has a perfect "Dancers" body as she would say. But like, I have heard stories and I have seen that they don't F around in Ballet.
Sorry I got really off topic, but I just wanted to give you an example.
Love that he is working to leave his demons in the past. Shows that your character has an internal struggle- but he is still moving forward in life.
I also love the fact that he is insecure, let me explain. When people tend to create a male character they normally go for the "Brute, Manly, Typical Jock, and Not being able to have proper emotions to things" characteristics with anything. But this shows that you are actually making your characters "Human". Meaning that you show what actual men feel, and honestly I love that because it does show that guys are still "Men" even when they show emotion. Which in all honesty should be a normal thing, but alas in this day and age is men show any type of emotion they are immediately labeled as "Weak" which pisses me off, but that is a discussion for another time. :) I keep getting off track, my apologies.
OKAY love the whole "Nothing messes a person up more than their parents." That right there, I have personally never heard anything so true.
…I love his personality type as well…. You are really good at this whole character thing ya know? I don't know how to explain it- IDK if you are basing him off of someone you actually know, or possibly yourself. And if not, congratulations to you, this is one of the best characters I have ever seen before in my life. Hands down.
Also a lover of snapbacks and beanies
Alrighty, this character has absolutely nothing wrong with him- literally at all- he is a gorgeous, clumsy fool who deserves the world.
This is the honest truth- You did an absolutely amazing job with Noah. He is beautifully created, and I hope that your story will be widely known. I hope you will keep me updated on this story, because I would love to read it.
If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask!
Sorry for all the rambling. I tend to get carried away sometimes.
–GinjaNinja

@Claw_The_Veni Thank you for being understanding!! BUT!! You must not apologize for writing your story how you see fit. It is your story, you personal world that you have created. I may not be able to read it- that remains to be seen- but there is absolutely no need for you to apologize at all.
Now on to the character!
Interesting name choice. I always love it when people tend to make unique names for their characters. Here I am with names for my character like- Ash, Zeke, Alex Etc.
"The Emerald Warrior" has a very nice ring to it. Same with "The Forgotten Warrior".
He is one tall guy.
Curious- How does one not have an eye color? is it all just white? Or is it like you look at his eyes and you can't tell what the color is because it is always a different color. Or like- It is a color that the human brain can not fathom?? Just curious.
I like the fact that he is not a speaker of many words but a speaker of wisdom. or however that is supposed to go.
He seems like an awesome character! It is kind of hard to explain, like I know you said he is supposed to be OP but- not really. I have seen other characters who are severely OP.
So like- I feel as though he is an OP character but it is a good thing?? I am not sure if that makes any sense. But I think it is good!
But you did a really good job with him!
You have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!
Remember though- Don't apologize for creating your art! And I don't care what anyone says! Making characters is a kind of art! You are creating something. Isn't that what art is basically? So just keep in mind, that you don't need to apologize for creating something beautiful. Okay? If anyone has questions they could just ask, or educate themselves.
–GinjaNinja