@Bandito
403rd try. New assistant. Young face, green hair. Stupid punk necklace, also glowing green. He comes down the tunnels towards me with an overly tough, let's-do-this-thing expression. I doubt he's been told how many times I've done this already.
"Let's do this," he growls.
"Sir."
"Let's do this, sir. Sorry, sir."
"To the left."
We leave the intersection, and after a while we start climbing stairs. They go up for a while, but neither of us shows fatigue. The doors at the top slide open as we approach. We enter the land of the free, and the first thing we hear is footsteps. Metal boots.
I pull Green into a side alleyway, and the boots pass by for the 403rd time. I climb up the building next to us, Green follows. The roof is silent. An empty military helicopter sits, blades swishing through the air. I am already sitting int eh pilot's seat.
We take off into densely gray air, I put on some music, pull out a knife and stab the assassin behind me. ETA five minutes, destination Port 16. Green stares out the window at the port, always in sight. It is a narrow metal cylinder of a tower, reaching up far beyond the clouds. Touchdown is easy. Through the doors, eye scan, password, elevator, through more doors. We arrive in an open, endless desert of white, snow-like sand. There are transparent walls around us, forming the outline of a room. No one really understands how they do it, but they created a mini portal inside Port 16 to take important humans to one of their planets. Easier for us to come to them, they said. Green has no reaction - he's read about all of this, watched documentaries, heard stories, et cetera. But the view has always been breathtaking to me. A beautiful ocean of light, serene under a sky filled with bright purple stars, a gentle breeze constantly stirring the grains. Like a Japanese rock garden, with large globes of glass sitting around instead of rocks. This half of this planet has been named the Glassy Sea because of the orbs.
"So your government tells me you have something that will change out minds," says the voice, not bothering with an introduction again. The voice belongs to a very long, white rope. About as wide as my arm, perfectly smooth and clean, no mouth or other features whatsoever. Around humans, this one calls itself Jack.
"Yes," I say at the same time as Green says, "Your minds should have already been changed."
"My name is Jack." It has given itself a smart, professional-sounding voice. "First, you should know that whatever it is you think will be so helpful to us, it won't be. We have had no trouble spreading throughout the galaxies. We have no need of resources. We may accept your gift as a courtesy, but-"
"First, I know you're wrong," I say. "You have met increased resistance whenever you try to take a step further, you food substances are going extinct, and your citizens are starting to rebel."
"How do you know?" Both Jack and Green demand. My mind flicks back to a few necessary torture sessions with Jack. Information is easy.
"Second…I am not a gift. I have no intention of helping you. I'm here to help the human race."
"Okay," Jack says. "How much-"
"I want all of your technology, and I want it free. I want you to stop taxing and threatening us, I want you to remove your outposts from Earth, and I want you to give back everything you stole."
He says no, we recite the argument, he gets mad again, more aliens are called in, Green pulls out his Tazer.
"What's so hard about this?" I ask. "Earth is one planet among hundreds. Why can't you give it up?"
"Earth is most like our home planet," Jack says for the 388th time.
"But why do you care?" Green snaps. "You have fifteen home planets!"
"They don't," I say. "They have two, one is completely dead."
"You can't tell us to do anything," Jack tells me. "If you keep arguing, we'll be provoked to more violent actions."
I have a sigh and sit down on the couch my last assistant died on. "You already have. What I'm saying is, you're stuck. If you say no, I'm just going to try again. If you say yes and lie, I'm just going to try again. The only way out is for you to do what I said right now."
"But what could humans possibly have over us?" Jack lays down on the couch opposite me. "I could have you killed right now. That seems like the opposite of stuck."
"If you kill me, I won't die. I'll respawn back when this day started and come back here."
"That isn't a reason to give you all our technology," Jack says impatiently. "If you're telling the truth, you should have learned by now that you have no control over us. We will always do what we want."
"Then we'll make you want to obey us!" Green yells. "Give it up!"
I cross my arms a second later than last time. "Look. I'm standing at the crossroad of an infinite amount of universes. I'm the only one who can move. You can't move. I can make different choices, I change the outcome every time. I decide what universe everyone continues into. You. Are powerless."
An offended pause.
"If you kill me, or anything else goes wrong, I just try the next universe. And this is an infinite number of universes, so despite what you say, I'm going to come across one where you do surrender. It's very painstaking, but it will happen and there's nothing you can do about it."
"Nothing?"
"No."
"Oh, well," Jack says. "We'll just continue in this universe without you, and you can try the next one."
A lazer sweeps across the room, but I've already ducked. 60th time they've tried this.
"Please," I say. "Just let me have a break. Just think about it this time."
The laser sweeps across the room again. Jack is already gone. I hear a heavy thud and turn.
Green is laying on the sand, a diagonal cut separating his chest from his lower body. He stares up at me. "How many times have we done this?"
"None," I say. "You're new."
His mouth screws up. "How many others have died?"
"All of them, about thirty. That laser got most of them."
"What was different this time?"
"I crossed my arms a second later."
He cranes his neck, eyes watering. "Don't make me die again, don't…"
"You'll probably be more helpful next time."
"Thanks. I'm a human being, dammit! You can't keep killing us!"
"I'm not killing you," I say absently. "They are."
"You're as bad as they are," he gurgles as he dies. "You kill soldiers."
I shrug wearily. "Just tell me what the difference is between dying once permanently and dying 403 times, to respawn again in a world you don't even love anymore."
The laser comes back and I let it cut my head off.
404th try.
