If it’s not your story/writing, it’s not your place to ask for critiques on it, then.

I just read the words “Hyperdeath soul” and i no longer want to read any more

… I have no words for that.

It sounds like… a children's action cartoon.

so great news, i kept reading and stumbled across… clears throat

”Nighthunt stifled a near maniacal smile. She raised her right hand, and suddenly, eleven Gasterblasters appeared by her. She put out her left arm (to her left), opened her hand, and her Rainbow Hyperblade appeared. She closed her hand, grabbing the handle.
“Is that all you’ve got?” said Undyne, smiling as she summoned a whole army of spears.
“Nope!” said Nighthunt. Her form was changing into where her hair, eyes and tail were no longer brown, but now gleaming silver. Her shirt and skirt were now black. Her eyes were smoothly changing colors in a rainbow. Looking at her now was almost psychedelic.
She spoke softly, “Kumu, show yourself.”
Akumu turned into what his original form is. As he floated by Nighthunt’s side, he smiled at Undyne kindly and winked.”

not even my God man OC is this powerful

like

So I'm not a terrible writer after all.

imma give this a solid

L

So I'm not a terrible writer after all.

same

_{i still am}

_Blashphemy

This makes my Fantastic Beasts Fic That Shall Not Be Named look like Shakespeare.

Lmao. It makes all of my work look worthy of a Noble prize in literature.

Also, don't start an action sequence with "suddenly", that's right up there with "limit your adverbs" and "know the difference between 'there', 'their', and 'they're'" when it comes to writing rules.

"limit your adverbs"

I've been personally attacked

"limit your adverbs"

I've been personally attacked

Yeah, but you're actually good