forum "Pass the story?" Add one to two sentences, only rule is just make grammatical sense to the best of your ability!

Started January 11, 2018 by @p3ncil

tune

I stared at her confused and left home I walked far away until I realized I didn't know where I was.

I was in a new forest, a canopy of green leaves gently swaying in the wind. The setting sun casts an ethereal light all around me as cacophonies of insects bring a gentle but fitting symphony into the mixture. A breeze lazily lifts my hair off of the back of my neck and tickles my sweaty scalp deliciously. I spread my arms and slowly but surely begin to levitate. Was this really the life I had chosen for myself? What had she meant?

The light swept me away and I was flying. It was a rare gift, only born to those lucky enough to be in the line or faires. My father had been part fairy, and my grandparents hated the idea of my mother marrying one. She didn't listen though and it drove my grandma's almost to insanity.

She gets up and reaches for a circular metal device sitting on the table beside her. It looks like a metal version of the crowns of thorns you sometimes see on pastel portrayals of Jesus. I eye it nervously.
Grandma hands it to me. "Put this on your head. It will cancel out your power with its own and make you see the world the way it really is."

"NOPE," I said and did a sassy finger snap before promptly hitting her over the head with a calculus textbook that I just happened to have in my…erm…pocket. Yeah, in my pocket. ANYWAYS, grandma dissolved into a small pile of dust, too-hot Sundays in the garden farming zucchini, and all that punch we said we drank but that we really poured into the rose bushes alongside her house.

Then I put the crown and the calculus textbook I had not filled out a word(or number) of into my magic pocket and turned around to come face-to-face with the same guy from before. "Hand the crown to me and nobody gets hurt," he said. "Otherwise…" He pointed a Luger at my face.

"I - i -" I stuttered in surprise.
"Now," he hisses.
I hesitate. What are these worth to me? I glance down at the crown.

And run.

He shoots the Luger pistol and hits me in the leg, causing me to fall to the ground. Pain erupts in my body and I barely look up through tears to see him walking towards me.
"You shouldn't have tried to flee…"

A shot rings out behind me and I curse myself silently for staying in one place too long, and for disintigrating my grandmother. Spying a grove of bushes, I dive headfirst and discover the hard way what ten thorns in different places feels like

"Well gosh darn, should not have gone outside today boys!" I stated as I plucked the thorns out of my beaten skull. I knew this day wouldn't have been as exciting without my annual egg McMuffin from the treasured golden arches.

I imagine the buttery, flaky deliciousness of the warm biscuits, the silky American cheese sliding down my throat, the eggs….oH tHe egGs. Truly a heavenly experience that I eagerly await each and every year.

My yearning for the McMuffin started to overcome my entire mind. I haven't even mentioned the side of hash browns, oh my goodness. The crunchy, brown fried potatoes are one of the best things my mouth has felt. This sensation granted me the power of ultra speedy mobility and great responsibility. I quickly pulled myself together and stuck my nose into the air like a fire hydrant in order to sense where those sweet buttery biscuits reside.

The pungent scent of velvety eggs and buttery layers of pastry filled my nostrils, guiding me to the gilded gates of paradise. That was when I spotted them, those heavenly arches that called to me, beckoning me ever closer to the threshold of happiness. Almost in a trance, journeyed to the McDonald's, drawn in by its hypnotic glowing "Open 24 Hours A Day" sign that illuminated the darkness, guiding my way like a lighthouse guides ships on a foggy night.

When I traveled into the Mickey D's, I saw there was several people already in line. Dang it! Foiled again! I pondered for a hot minute, trying to decide what to do about my situation. Then an idea flashed in my mind. I put a huge smile on my face, and skipped the line of about maybe one hundred sixty-seven thousand, three hundred forty-eight people. I slammed my hands on the glittering marble counter of the cashier and screamed at the top of my lungs.

"One MCMUFFIN!!!!" I yell as I stuff my hand into the pockets of my whimsical wizard coat and grab a handful of cash, throwing it toward the wide eyed cashier who looked like he needed coffee. The man, standing next to me in life turned to me, yelling in my face, "Get to the back of the line!" As he said it, the person behind him said the same thing, and then it went on until a hundred sixty-seven thousand, three hundred forty eight people including a dog all said it to me.

I ignored them though. The cashier handed me the MCMuffin, the buttery gold sandwich, with enriching minerals such as diabetes, blood clots and heart problems. I thrash through the wrapper as I fly away on my magic leave blow, however, instead of finding a mc Muffin- i found a…

Severed head. Also, it was my grandmother's. I threw it in the trash.

American fast food. You never know what it can do to you. Oye!

I continued down the street, skipping and humming a variety of stale pop songs. A cat flew past me on large golden wings and I wondered who had let it off it's leash.

A tressym. How cute. My scrambled mind wanders back to my situation and I stop cold. The man, the crown, the– oh gods, the crown! I look down and notice the shiny silver material conformed to my wrist in a beautiful array of spikes and jewels. Where am I ?

What do I do, I though, where am I? Oh Lord WHAT DO I DO?

UNFORTUNATELY is seems I have a habit of hallucinating and really there was a McMuffin wrapped around my wrist. Wait no. Wait, what?

I poked at the McMuffin… it felt like paper. Maybe this was actually real?

WELL I've got nothing to lose! I bit into the McMuffin, chewing slowly. Honestly, it wasn't bad.

I took another bite . . . or not. It was the crown after all. But them why did it taste so delicious?

I'm delirious I think to myself. I need to focus.
Something cold and hard pressed into the back of my head. "The crown, darling"