forum Yo I'm feeling confident, anyone wanna read a few chapters of my wip novel?
Started by Deleted user
tune

people_alt 38 followers

Deleted user

Also, what do you exactly mean by "Unmotivated"? Like it's not that big or small enough of a deal, or they're not very happy about the idea or…? Sorry, I just want a little clarification.

Um… more like… why would they invite her to dinner just because they almost ran over her? It seems like a bit too much. I get that it might be necessary for the plot though.

I'll try to see what I can do in the second draft. ^U^ But the current reason is that Ember knows Aileen, and Aileen's such a sweetheart she just feels so bad for what happened she wants to give Ember a nice time to get more brownie points with her boyfriend (Ember's older brother).

Deleted user

James is precious too. So. Please don't hurt him.

sharp inhale

nooo what are you planning now

Deleted user

James is precious too. So. Please don't hurt him.

sharp inhale

nooo what are you planning now

nothing that deadly

Deleted user

James is precious too. So. Please don't hurt him.

sharp inhale

nooo what are you planning now

nothing that deadly

nothing that deadly? Now I'm worried…

Deleted user

Would you like to read chapter three? (i got confused…)

Deleted user

Sure! I think I can have time to read it tomorrow…

Deleted user

I'm very sorry, fell out of the loop. Here is chapter three. I hope you enjoy, this one was a little strange and I know it needs work.

Three:

Three clicks broke the soft sounds of the forest. There was a pause before a final click and a thunk against wood pierced the air. There was a shuffle of footsteps in the decaying-leaf covered ground and a small metal arrow, the size of three shotgun shells, was snatched out of the tree. She gave a small sigh, looking at the arrows within her grasp before diverting her gaze to the forest that paired her eyes.
The afternoon sun slid down the horizon like the sand in an hourglass, both mesmerizing to watch. The sun’s glow cast long shadows over the calm forest, foreboding the darkness that would soon bring about a new day.
Ember looked back to the forest beyond the clearing where she stood, gazing around for a familiar shine. She only held nine of her original amount of twelve crossbow arrows. One, she knew had been lost to time, but the other two were lost recently. She looked to the sky, gave an exhausted sigh, and scanned the undergrowth for signs of her recently missing arrows.
Mini arrows can be deadly and useful for precision training but they’re also extremely hard to find. Heading deeper within the flourishing forest, she saw a glint within the corner of her eye. She turned towards it, turning upon her toe, and approached the shine.
Not only was there one of her arrows, but a silver necklace hanging from it and a piece of paper pinned to the tree by it. She blinked, feeling very confused by her discovery, and pulled the arrow out, the necklace sliding into her palm and the paper fluttering to the forest floor.
The metal was cool within her touch, and her gaze followed the paper laying upon the leaves. Curiosity pricked her mind, and she grasped the paper.
It was slightly faded, the yellow tint easy to look at in the dappled shade. It wasn’t completely smooth, rippled over with small bumps, and felt slightly cloth-like. She turned it over to see writing, something pristine and handwritten.
“"Pull back, load, fire, repeat. Maybe you could find some use to this as you've with your crossbow.”
The paper was still crumpled within her bag, the silver necklace draping about her neck, swaying against her skin with every step, the gem hidden beneath the fabric of her shirt. She pushed past the crowds before coming to a stop near her locker, awkwardly pushing past some other teens blocking it with a few soft apologetic murmurs. She opened her locker briskly, switching out some books with a small sigh.
“Emby!” A light voice shrieked with excitement, pushing past some people to stand beside her. “How’re you?” Megan exclaimed jubilantly, wrapping her arms around Ember’s body.
Ember wiggled in her grasp uncomfortably. “I’m- good…” She murmured. “Can you please let me go…?”
“Oh, yeah.” She let go of Ember but still stood uncomfortably close. “So… What’s his name?” She wore a grin that stretched from ear to ear, waiting for a response, her straight brown hair framing her seemingly perfect face.
“Oh yeah, the author’s name I was recommending to you. Peter Dusioz, you should read his books sometime. I’m sure you’d like it-”
Megan let out a loud sigh, “Not him.” She pulled out her phone and showed a side profile of a familiar broad teen giving Ember his number. “What’s his name?”
She stuttered for a response. “Why…?” Was all she managed to get out, well, what was legible at least.
She stifled a laugh. “God, you’re so easy to read. What’s he like, he looks like he has the ‘Hero’ build, well from this angle I mean.” She went quiet for a moment “Anyway, what’s he like, rough and stern voice or calming?”
“I don’t know…” Ember muttered, running her fingers on the pages of the book on the top of the stack. “Why do you- why’re so so invested in this?”
“Because that’s one hell of a score, the build is perfect and he just happened to fall right in your lap.” She crossed her arms in a bit of a ‘duh’ fashion.
Ember stared at her blankly. “I don’t care about what body type every guy has within a mile radius, and I-” She started stuttering. “Don’t need anything falling in my lap.” She went quiet, feeling her fingers start to twitch.
Megan glanced at Ember’s twitching fingers, and sighed again. “Alright, well, how did you an he meet?” She pried, wanting to get the whole story.
She sighed. “Does it matter…?” Ember’s gaze fell to the ground, feeling a wave of neglect fall over her.
She shrugged “Does to me, I’m wondering what he sees in you.” After a moment of silence Megan tapped the top of the book stack “Hello? Earth to Ember? You actually going to tell me or am I going to have to ask him?”
“He nearly ran me over…” She murmured. “His name’s Hunter…”
“Isn’t he that new transfer student?” Her eyes lit up. “No wonder I recognized him!”
Ember furrowed her brow in confusion. “What do you mean…?”
Megan looked at her in shock, her hazel eyes filled with what seemed to be mild concern. “You didn't hear? Girl, you’re out of the loop.”
“I didn’t hear anything… what happened?” Ember’s grip on her books tightened a bit, feeling concerned.
She looked around. “Two days ago he completely destroyed Gabe’s ego and pride.”
There was a crash on the locker beside Megan, causing them to jump. A boot was resting six inches above the ground on it, wedged between a jutted flaw and the door. “And it won’t stay that way.” A new voice stated in a brash tone. She gave Megan a glare before turning to Ember. “I was looking for you.”
“Me?” She muttered in disbelief.
“Holy crap…” Megan murmured and started to back away from the situation.
The black-haired teen just let her go, sighing and staring at Ember blankly. “Obviously you. I wouldn’t want anything to do with a drama-queen who’s gossiping about Gabriel’s so-called “defeat”. You’re decent to be around, I’ll admit that.” She picked at her nails before bringing her foot down from the lockers. a
Ember didn’t know whether to feel flattered or scared. “What do you need, Christina?” She managed to say without stuttering.
Christina picked at her moderate toned skin, her nails tracing circles upon the back of her hand. “I just want to warn you-” She started with a growl.
This statement filled Ember with confusion, how was she so important she needed to be warned by Gabe’s number one? She perked an eyebrow, somehow feeling less uncomfortable then she was with Megan.
Christina continued, her voice growing softer slightly, sounding exasperated. “This new transfer started a lot of crap with our squad, and he seems to be homed in on you. I’m just concerned you’ll be pulled into this, and you’re not that much of a freak to really be in this anyway.” She played with some tight curls, bringing them into a small braid at the side of her face. “It’s best to never near Gabe, since he may target you, and that wouldn’t be good to anyone.” She sighed.
“I wasn’t planning on it, but thank you..?”
“Don’t mention it, seriously. I’m supposed to keep my bruting mask on, and the gang wouldn’t like if they found out I warned anyone since they’re all power-hungry.” She gave a pause. “And blood-hungry… and hungry for other things I shouldn’t mention.”
Ember looked at her, tilting her head slightly. “Okay…”
“But, by all means-” Her voice lowered to a growl. “We are not on friendly terms, understand?”
Ember nodded respectfully as a response, causing her to reply with a scowl filled “Good.”.
“And if you dare cross me or my squad, you will learn your place,” She glared at her. “Because they all do.” She pushed Ember into the lockers before walking away. “Nice necklace, don’t let it get stolen.” She muttered as a final statement before she gracefully walked off.
Ember turned around to look for Megan, but she had disappeared, most likely to chat up someone more important than herself. She clutched the necklace that was against her neck, the metal somewhat relieving against her sweaty palm. She didn’t quite understand how she didn’t shake within the face of possible danger, but while talking with an old childhood friend of all things.
She looked around once more, her gaze probing about the area, and started down the halls to her next class.

“Hi, this is Ember, hopefully, this is Hunter Eves. You gave me your number yesterday and I’m curious about what you mentioned prior?”

No response, all day.
The nervousness made her sick to the core, feeling like she messed up or he didn’t want anything to do with her after all, just another person toying with her emotions just for the sheer fun of it. Paranoia gripped at her like a child grabbing his blankets after a nightmare, except paranoia is the nightmare.
She hadn’t seen a glimpse of him either, which was concerning, but she forced her mind not to dwell on someone she just met.
As Ember began to wind down from the constant stress of the day she heard a small and quiet knock on her bedroom door followed by a quiet voice. "E…Emby?" The voice seemed to be lightly trembling with fear and sadness. Upon opening the door Bryen hugged her tightly, tears brimming his eyes as he quietly mumbled. "I… I need help." His voice cracking with each word.
“Hey hey hey.” She led him into the room, shutting the door behind them. “What’s wrong?”
“You p-promise you won’t tell anyone?” He sniffled.
“I promise.” She said firmly looking him in the eyes.
“You won’t tell anyone?”
She shook her head. “Not Robert, not Mom and Dad, not anyone. Please, tell me what’s wrong.” She begged her brother.
“I-” He got out before breaking into another small sob.
She hugged him, his snot getting over her shoulder. “It’s okay, please just tell me what’s wrong.”
He sat down on her bed, rubbing his eyes. “I have a crush…”
“Did she reject you?” She asked.
“N-no…” He mumbled, pulling at his sleeves, tears still rolling down his face.
“Then what’s wrong?”
“My-my crush…” He pressed his sleeve to his nose. “He’s a boy.” He muttered.
“Oh god…” She mumbled, pulling at a strand of her hair.
“I’m sorry! Please don’t be mad at me!” Bryen whined, pulling at the bottom of his shirt to cover his face.
Ember gave a small pleading sigh and hugged him once more. “I’m not mad, just tell me what happened.”
He nodded against her, seeming a little relieved. “I real- really like him, but I hear people say that boys can’t like boys and…” He gave another sniffled, having Ember decide to cross the room to get him some tissues. “It’s not normal.” He continued, taking a tissue. “I just wanna be normal, and I hear Robert talk all the time about how boys can’t be with boys and girls with girls… He’s gonna hate me!”
She furrowed her brow. “Robert can go eat a sock.” She looked at the door, making sure she heard no nearby footsteps. “Boys can like boys, it may not be ‘normal’ in society’s eyes, but normal to society is blonde hair, blue eyes, and a orange tan.” She poked him between his green eyes, brushing away some curly strands of brown hair.
He couldn’t help but laugh a little, using up tissue after tissue. “But what if Robert finds out?”
“He shouldn’t.” She stated firmly, doing her best to reassure him.
“I wanna take him to the dance…” He murmured, looking embarrassed. “But then Robert would know, and Mom and Dad… and Dad doesn’t like gay people either.”
“Wasn’t your last crush a girl?” She asked.
He gave a pause before giving a slow reply. “Yeah…”
“Interesting…” She murmured.
Bryen’s eyes ignited with fear. “Is there something wrong with me? Are they going to send me away?” He wiped at his face again.
“You’re twelve, you’re growing up. Trust me, nothing is wrong with you. You’re just different.”
“I- I don’t like it…” He muttered.
“I have problems when I’m around people, huge ones, I don’t like it either.” She sighed, glancing at her palms. “Being different is fine, as long as it isn’t damaging.”
He nodded, wiping his leaking face with a sniffle. “What do- what do I do?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. If you really like him, go for it, ask him to that dance, even as a friend. If not, just wait it out. I’m sure it’s going to be hard, you’re figuring yourself out, after all.” She looked to her messy bookshelf, looking tired and defeated.
“But what if he hates me too? What if he goes around telling everyone I’m gay?” He shakily looked down at the floor. “I… don’t want people to hate me.”
“The currently known percentage of people like you is one percent… That’s like…”
“Twenty Million people…” He muttered. “I guess there’s always the chance that he’s like me…” He dried the rest of his tears. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask….”
She nodded. “Anything else you need?”
“How should I ask him?” He gave her a confused and blank look. “I don’t know what I need to do, I don’t want him to feel weird around me…”
“I don’t-”
The door was pushed open. “What’s he upset about?” A monotone voice stated, emotionless yet somehow aggressive.
“Nothing.” She stated quicky.
“I heard him whining from across the house.” Robert slit his eyes.
Bryen sniffled with a sassy sigh. “Who pissed you off this time?”
“Ali.” Was all he said, the blunt and emotionless tone of his voice very unsettling.
“What’s going on?” Ember spoke up, slightly intimidated by her older brother.
He gave a small grunt, his curly blonde hair falling into his face. “Doesn’t matter, just stop your sniffling.”
“She must’ve really pissed you off this time,” Bryen growled with another sniffle.
“And you’re just adding to that,” Robert remarked.
Bryen gave a grumble as a reply.
“Dad’s stressed with the shop failing because of lack of business, it’s best not to mess with me right now, since I’m tasked with helping him with his numbers,” Robert stated.
Ember rolled her eyes. “Then why are you here being pissy about Aileen?”
“You’re close with her, right?”
Ember paused. “I mean, kinda… she nearly ran me over yesterday… and then her brother approached me.” She trailed off, brushing her hand through her hair.
“Good enough. She’s been acting strange around me, she’s hiding something. Find out what that something is.”
“No ‘please’? Rather mannerless for the one who’s supposed to be a role model.” Bryen tittered.
Robert flung a pencil that was in his grasp at him. “Shut.”
Ember just raised an eyebrow. “If you two are gonna start your crap I want you out.”
“Fine.” Robert turned to leave. “Get it done.” He shut the door behind him with a small thud and a click.
“Rude…” She muttered, brushing some hair out of her face. She got up and scanned the room for some books for interest.
“Hella,” Bryen stated.
“You too.” She pointed to the door which hung open on its hinges, her gaze still fixed on the disheveled shelves.
She heard him shift behind her. “What?” He protested, flinging his arms in the air dramatically when she turned to look. “I still need to know what to do about my problem!”
“What’s his name then?” She asked, pulling some mildly worn and dusty books out of their spot.
He gave a small pause and shuffled slightly. “Jonathan Gunner…” His stance was disorderly, obviously embarrassed.
“That’s adorable.” She muttered. “What’s he like?” She queried, tilting her head slightly, letting her curls fall over her face. Ember set the book on her desk, which stood right next to her tall and packed bookshelf before completely turning to face Bry, placing her hand on the smooth wood and leaned against it.
“He’s tall, about as tall as you, very cheery and helpful… just so sweet to everyone…” He pushed his hands to his face, covering up his embarrassed and flushed cheeks. He gave a groan. “I feel so stupid and weird…” Bryen dragged out his words, pulling his light brown hair over his eyes.
Ember couldn’t help but give a giggle. “On a scale from one to ten, how much do you like him?”
He paused, even more red consumed his hand-covered face. “Why- why do you want to know?”
“I just wanna help you, and this is adorable to watch.”
He grumbled into his hands. “A seven…”
“That’s so cute…” She mumbled. “I’ll help you with him, just try to get close to him, be his friend, find out what he’s into I guess.“
“That’s good enough…” He gave a mumble. “I’m gonna go now,” He faced her frantically. “Don’t tell anyone or I will destroy the thing you love the most.”
“I won’t tell a soul, I promise.” She replied with a small laugh.
He pointed two fingers to his eyes and back to her as he walked backward out the door. She shut it once more and walked to her desk, where she left her phone. Still, nothing.
Ember’s fingers clasped around the necklace against her chest, the silver pendant’s cool surface relieving her jittery touch. She let out a breath, looking about her room before turning off her light, grasping a book she left on her messy desk and a small flashlight from the drawer, which she pushed into her pocket.
She crossed the room before her hands gripped the bottom of her window and hefted it up. It clasped open with a click. Her eyes glanced behind her, and being satisfied with the absence of humans, she climbed out and onto the roof. Her steps were shaky but she gained her balance from repetition. She sat down on the rough tiling, letting the cool air blow around her in the gentle warmth of the night.
The trees cast their shadows over the roof, the stars bright in the early September air. She pulled out her flashlight, which clicked at her touch. She opened the book, the pages flitting in the air, and let the printed words consume her in the gentle night.

Deleted user

AAAWWWWWW BRYEN IS SO CUTEEE and of course I have to make a ship name for them so…. Bronathan, maybe? Just fangirling over here lol. And the chapter was not at all strange, I liked it. It's really good, as always. And can you please make something bad happen to Robert? I don't like him.

Deleted user

AAAWWWWWW BRYEN IS SO CUTEEE and of course I have to make a ship name for them so…. Bronathan, maybe? Just fangirling over here lol. And the chapter was not at all strange, I liked it. It's really good, as always. And can you please make something bad happen to Robert? I don't like him.

(Just a little note, this whole story line has been worked on for four+ years and spans seven novels. Shit gets crazy.) I'll take that into account. I'm glad you liked this chapter, I was really expecting the worst.

Deleted user

There's one more completed chapter, would you like to read it?