I'm pretty confident in the characters that I make but I've been having trouble with one of my Mains. I'm hoping someone will give her a look see and help me point out what the flip is wrong with her.
It may all be in my head.
https://www.notebook.ai/plan/characters/746544#!
Grazie!
I mean I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with her at all! I think there's just some areas I recommend developing further/explaining more in-depth (please take all of these with a grain of salt):
Overview/Looks
Nature
(please excuse the giant wall of text, I hope this was somewhat coherent at least)
Happy character-building!
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This actually helps so much. If you don't mind I'm going to respond to what you wrote so I can further brainstorm and ask you questions?
Overview/Looks
I can't really say much about this since I'm not sure about the background of the story and I feel like looks are very subjective, but I do wonder why she looks so young if she's so old? Is there magic involved? Is there a good reason for it? As long as there is, that's fine, but otherwise it seems like it's a bit contrived
Its a tribute of her race. They stop aging at 'peak aptitude' and is subjective per person. Although, I was using it as a plot device because since she is a political figure people still perceive her as being young and inexperienced despite her true age. Which, in part, leads to the conflict of the story.
Nature
I noticed that the different traits often conflict with each other quite a bit, such as being "overly calm and aloof" in her mannerisms but "wild and reckless", "terrifying and brutish" and "lack of filter" in her flaws. And conflicting traits are a good thing! They add more depth and facets to her character, and make her a lot more realistic. But it might be helpful to explore how these traits interact with each other. At what point will she lose her calm, super still demeanor and get really angry? What kind of intelligence does she have and does it ever conflict with her reckless, coffee-addicted sleep-deprived side? Does her "cold and detached" personality give her trouble when it comes to her ideals of protecting the weak and fighting for justice?
Ahhhhh. See this is what I needed. These questions. Yes. Thank you my brain juices are flowing. XD
I don't really understand how you use the "prejudices" field - is it just things she feels very strongly about (sweets and the Senate)? If so, does she have any prejudices in the traditional sense (or, well, my definition, which would be something along the lines of "premature judgements about people or things she doesn't really understand that change the way she views and interacts with those things/people?")
I use this more as a way to point out the things characters do not particularly like and how it effects their personality. I always struggle with this particular field because most characters have a consensus on what irks them. Does that make sense? Any advice here would be extremely helpful.
Idk how your character creation process works, but in my case I usually answer a few more questions that help me get to know mine better. Feel free to use any of these if they might be helpful!
-> What is she afraid of? How does that affect her day-to-day life and choices?
-> Is she a good liar?
-> What's her "voice" like? (this includes stuff like her vocabulary, words she probably uses too much, if she repeats herself often, if she stutters or how much and how fast she speaks in general.)
-> What are some of her greatest regrets and failures?
I'm stealing all of these. :D
If you don't mind I'm going to respond to what you wrote so I can further brainstorm and ask you questions?
Sure! I'd love to hear more about this!
I use this more as a way to point out the things characters do not particularly like and how it effects their personality. I always struggle with this particular field because most characters have a consensus on what irks them. Does that make sense? Any advice here would be extremely helpful.
That makes sense! And I see what you mean about there being a consensus - it makes sense that she would dislike those who force her into an uncomfortable lifestyle, it makes sense that she'd dislike someone who seems like her antagonist (?) and stuff like that.
My advice would be finding things that she dislikes irrationally, or just parts of her worldview that are fundamentally wrong. ()Maybe her dislike of the Senate extends to people connected to the Senate who actually aren't involved? Maybe being a sworn protector would warp her view of normal people and she patronises people she comes across?)
I find, for my writing at least, that it really helps to define things like that. It doesn't have to be a big deal, but it kind of solidifies them, I guess? For example, one of mine has a mindset/prejudice of "if you're not good at what you're doing, you're just not trying hard enough" which seems small and innocent enough but it defines a lot of her character. It plays out in interactions with other people who fail or disappoint her, but also in the way she treats herself and how she approaches new stuff. I probably won't ever say it outright in the story, but it is helpful to know when it comes to writing her realistically.
I hope this helps :)