forum To Love You, is to Go Through Heartbreak, But I Still Love You Anyways (Closed with Fenrir) (1/1) (MxM)

Started April 13, 2023 by @RhysTheFirebird group

tune

( Most likely same so no worries at all!)
Jas leaned back against the bench, tipping his head towards Dustin as he spoke to both hear him better and to be heard as he matched his tone of voice. "You should have. I deserved it after the endless teasing and name calling and god knows what else I put you through for years. I'm honestly still not entirely convinced this is still happening. No big fancy rejection flashmob thing, theres no one secretely recording this interaction? I'm honestly surprised.
He laughed softly, not at Dustin, in fact he found the stutter to be also cute, but at himself. "Well, you didn't leave me much of s choice. Besides, it'd be pretty inconsistent if I told you in person. I like a bit of mystery between us. There was no way I was ignorning this." he waved the note Dustin had given him with an amused grin. "Know that I'm keeping this forever. Its going on my fridge or, better yet, in a frame." He teased gently, watching as Dustin shifted to face him.
"hm? Oh, I thought it fit you. Not in a weird way or anything! I-" He huffed softly, slightly flustered. "Well, when we were in middleschool, I had figured you had some phobias. Or at the very least very strong fears. You didn't like loud noises and always seemed on edge. Though looking back that makes sense considering Middle school was…something else." He waved a hand in the air and grimaced, thinking back to his middleschool days and how very weird they were. "Anyways, you reminded of a bunny rabbit. I think its cute. That you're cute. But if you're uncomfortable with it, I'll stop."

Dustin laughs softly, "I-I'm a nice a guy. I guessed you were-were going through some-something. I didn't know you, not re-really, why should I judge you-you? And you regret-gret it now, don't you?" He tilts his head slightly, confused, "I-I would never play-ay pranks like-like that on people-ple. It-It's not nice."

Dustin blushed slightly, his paler skin showing it easily, "A-A frame?!" He asks, " Why-why would-uld you to-do that-at?" He silently cursed his stutter again, coming out even more so, showing he was clearly embarrassed at the subject, "Why-why not a-a b-box?" He shifts his weight slightly, rubbing the back of his neck, " Or-Or the trash-ash?"

Stupid, God damned stutter. . . Always getting in the way. He thinks to himself, biting his lip and trying to call his emotions down so he could speak clearly.

He looks down, "I-I have Hyperacusis and-and Phono-Phonopobia. The first one is-is sound sensitivity to loud-ud and high pit-pitched sounds, which then-thn will trigger-ger my Phonophobia causing me to ha-have an anxiety-ety at-tack. It's why I ne-ver had-ad to have a PE credit. Then there's my Photoau-Photoaugliaphobia, fear of glaring lights. For me, it's just mostly car lights, but the-the florescent lights at the school would bother me too, hence the sun-sunglasses all the time. Then there's my Hemophilia B-B, which meant I had to be super-per careful. All those made me a-a big ball of anxiety, and my parents couldn't afford the time or money for homeschooling-schooling." He sighs, "Bunny Rabbit is exactly what I am." As he spoke and got more comfortable, his stutter seemed to lessen, but his voice still did not get any louder.

Jas nodded slightly, Dustin was right, he did regret those years he was aweful. He was confused and uncomfortable and questioning his very life, a life he had thought close to perfect before his mom had left. But it was still no excuse for taking out his frustrations on Dustin. He was a bit surprised but genuinely glad this wasn't a set up.

He gasped softly and clutched the note carefully to his chest dramatically. "How could I store away or worse, throw out the first love confession someone has made to me? From the person I've like since middle school no less. This is a literal dream come true. There's no way this isn't getting displayed." He reread the note again, smiling cutely as the guilt slowly began to lessen, glancing up when Dustin began telling him about his phobias and condition.

He nodded in agreement "yeah, I'm not too fond of loud noises either but I don't think to the severity of your phobia." Jas had never liked loud noises much and sudden noises spooked him. "In the future, if there's anything that'll trigger your phobias, you'll tell me, right?" He asked softly, toying with the edges of the note. He wasn't entirely sure what Hemophilia B was but he made a mental note to research that when he got back to his dorm. He offered a small smile, "you are, but I like it."
He took a deep sigh and lightly tapped the note in his hand "so you love me, hm?" He asked, an amused twinkle in his eyes. It getting easier and talk with Dustin, it was a wonder they hadn't become friends earlier. Maybe they could have been dating ages ago. But Jas was just as glad to start now rather than never.

Dustin sighs, thought he was smiling slightly, “Because, it’s. . . silly. It’s just a paper with my crappy handwriting on it.”

He blinks, “Middle school?” He laughs softly, pulling one of his legs up, resting his foot on the bench and pulling his knee to his chest, resting his arm on it. “Damn. . . We liked each other through high school, but stayed away from each other.” He laughs, pressing his forehead into his arm.

“At least somewhere private! I don’t want random people seeing that. Or your dorm mate. It’s none of their freaking business!”

He sighs, “It’s made worse by my hyperacusis. It’s literal hell most days.” He sighs softly. “Well. . I mean, love might be a bit strong of a word for it, but yeah. . . I do.” He smiles slightly, peering out at him, turning his head to the side slightly.

"it is so much more than that! At least to me." Jas argued, folding the paper neatoy and carefully putting it in his bag for safe keeping. He crossed his legs in front of him, holding his ankles so he wouldn't fall. "Don't worry, it'll go in my room back home. I don't need my roommate questiony love life, or lack there of, more than he already does." He shook his head, already imagining what his roomate would say if he found out about the note.

"Yeah, middle school. That seems like ages ago. It would have been great if we actually talked in highschool. Might have been better than trying to avoid everyone. He laughed softly and looked around them, the scenery of the college green serene and quiet.

Jas nodded, a slow smile settling on his features. "I'm glad, I like you too, bunny." He rested his open hand on his knee, not really knowing why but it felt right. He wanted to reach out take Dustin's hand into his own but Jas didn't want to push too fast. They had just confessed their feelings for each other, perhaps physical contact was too much for one day. But Jas wasn't going to completely close off that option just in case there was a slim chance. "So do I consider this our first date or is that still to be decided?"

Dustin watches him fold it up and put it into his bag, laughing softly, “Okay okay. . . Whatever you s-say, Jasper.” He smiles slightly, leaning back and relaxing. “How much do they question your love life?” He asks, curious and grinning slightly.

Dustin nods, “Probably. . . But I’ve always been told to not go to collage with a partner. It can muddle the decisions you make. So. . . I’m kind of glad. . . Because I probably, if we talked and dated in high school, would have broken it off before uni.” He rests his chin on his arm, thoughtful.

Dustin smiled at the word ‘Bunny’ and tilts his head, still thinking, “No. . .” He says slowly, “That’s still to be decided. Talking while sitting on a bench just after confessing doesn’t really seem like date material to me.”

Jas grinned when Dustin said his name, not really used to someone saying it unless it was his dad. He like it. He tilted his head back and forth in contemplation. "A lot. At this point I think they've secretly thrown me on multiple dating sites." He joked, "but they mean well. They're like a little brother to me. They'll lose their mind when they hear I'm with you." He chuckled softly and shook his head fondly.

"I've heard that too, makes it harder both on the relationship and college life in general. But I still would have liked to talk and get to know you, even if we didn't date." He laughed in surprise and turned to Dustin with an amused smile "Really? you would have broken things off? You don't seem like the type of person who would do that, Bun." Jas pouted slightly and gave his best puppy eyes. "You would have really broken up with me?"

His pout returned to a grin as nodded in agreement. "No, it doesn't you're right. Then in that case, would you be up for a date tonight? I should be free after my last class today." Jas offered, already thinking of the perfect place for a date. "Would around 7 work for you? We can meet here and then head out."

Dustin laughs softly, “How many? And which ones?” He keeps laughing, covering his mouth with his hand. He smiles slightly, “At least they’re trying. You’re always so quiet in class. You’re smart, you know things too. Oh, I think I might like this person. . . Maybe I can convince them to tease you about me when I’m not around, or maybe they’ll just do it without the convincing.”

Dustin grumbles, “Well. . . I would probably still want to be friends, but not dating. . . That would probably have been too stressful for me.” He shrugs slightly, looking away when Jas gives him puppy eyes, rubbing the back of his neck, “I. . . Okay, maybe not. . . I don’t know. . .”

Dustin nods, “Yeah, it does. . . Or, it should. If. . . Nothing like spontaneous bleeding occurs.” He jokes slightly.

"I'm convinced of at least two, definitely tinder and one of the sites thats exclusively for LGBTQ dating." He laughed with Dustin, truely finding it rediculous that his roomate might have set him up on dating apps. He gave a slight shrug. "I guess I'm more focused on school than dating. I was never one to really seek out a partner in highschool, I guessed college would be the same." He shook his head with a grin, "You'd definately love Blue. I don't think theres anyone that couldn't. And there's no need to convince them. One mention of us dating and I'm done for. All they'll do is tease." He rolled his eyes playfully but he genuinely looked forward to talking to his roomate about Dustin.

He nodded slowly, "I get that. I don't think it would have stopped me from pining from afar but I would have been more than okay with becoming friends. If this," He pointed between them, "ever gets too stressful or anything, let me know, please. If theres anything I do or say that bothers you, don't worry about upsetting me. I'd rather know if I'm doing something you don't like and that I can improve upon rather than keep on annoying you about."

Jas's brows creased in slight worry. "Is that something that happens often?" he asked, now really intent on looking up Dustin's condition when he got back to his dorm. Jas caught onto Dustin's teasing tone of voice if not a bit too late but he managed a small smile. "Alright, 7 here will be out date. Here's my number in case you want to text me or, as you said, spontaneously bleed." He tore off a piece of paper from a stray notebook and quickly wrote down his number before handing it to Dustin.

Dustin keeps laughing softly, “Tinder and exclusively LGBTQ? Hmm. . . I’ll have to check it out and see if I can find you.” He grins playfully, clearly teasing. He smiles, “Hmm. . . I think I would, we could even tease you together.” He chuckles softly.

“What I meant by stressful is me trying to decide where to go without influence from you, or trying long distance or anything. I don’t find relationships themselves stressful. . . But then. . . I ‘Ve only dated one other person. . .” He laughs softly, shrugging. “But I will, don’t worry.”

Dustin shifts, “Uh. . . Well, it can, it really just depends. I have to be carful it doesn’t, but usually, for me anyways, I just bruise easily, I have a more mild case of Hemophila B.” He smiles slightly, “Yeah. . . Okay, thanks.” He takes the paper, putting the number into his phone and then sending a quick text.

"if you do, please send me the profile, I'd love to see what Blue put as the pic and bio." He sighed dramatically, "Bunny, have mercy on me, please. I can handle Blue, mostly but you and them? I'll be a flustered mess!" He whined, giggling as he straightened.

"Well, I don't plan on moving anytime soon so I don't think we'll have to worry about long distance. As for being an influence, I hope i'm a good one but that doesn't mean you have to decide things based on what I think." He tipped his head curiously, "Just one? I'm honestly surprised you havn't dated anyone else. You're sweet and adorable, how could no one else be attracted to you, unless that was a choice on you're part, then I can understand." He rambled slightly, toying with the pen in his hand.

Jas nodded slowly as he began to get an idea of what Dustin's condition was. "Thanks, not just for explaining but for trusting me enough." A small smile flickered across his features as he glanced down at his phone. He texted back with a 'hey, bunny" and reminder of their date later that night before putting in Dustin contact information into his own phone, cutely naming the contact as Dust Bunny, and adding heart emojis.

Dustin laughs softly, grinning, "Oh, sure. I most certainly will." He smirks at Jas, "Oh, well, I just might team up with this Blue person. A flustered you might be interesting to see." He smirks slightly.

Dustin nods, "Good, and you are. So far. You haven't made me do anything stupid or reckless. Well, I tHe back the reckless part. Writing that note was reckless. But whatever."

He blushes slightly, "Well, thanks for the compliment, but I was kind of hung up over someone else, and romantic relationships weren't working because I would rather have been with someone else." He chuckles slightly, smiling at Jas.

Dustin nods, "It's fine. I try to tell my friends and the lime, but I don't want too many people to know. They could take advantage of me or something. One wrong move and I could end up in the hospital."

He looks at his phone, laughing softly and then watches Jasper, "Well. . ." He murmurs, still smiling.

Jas shook his head, feigning hurt as he sighed "You're both going to kill me, I'm going to die of embarrasment." He smiled at Dustin, his happiness contagious, even at the expense at what little pride Jas had.
He raised his hands int defense. "I didn't make you write the note, but I still wouldn't call that reckless. I think you're brave for writing it. I don't know if I would have done the same, probably would have had a mental breakdown before writing the first word." he laughed softly and glanced down at his back, almost as if to check that the love note was safe and sound.
He arched an eyebrow, even as a light blush spread over his cheeks again. "Oh? and who was it that you so scandously thought about while potentially with someone else, hm?" He teased, figuring if he was going to be teased by Blue and now Dustin, he'd get his little jabs in now while he still could.
Jas nodded slightly "Makes sense. Not to make assumptions but it seems like something that would make you vulnerable very easily. I get why you'd want to choose who you tell carefully." He said softly. giving a half smile, not liking the idea of anyone taking advantage of Dustin much less when he had such a sensitive condition.
He tilted his phone "what, don't like it?" He asked, his smile returning. ANd here I thought we were already at the heart emoji in contacts stage of our relationship." He shook hi head and deleted a few hearts, keeping a purple one at the end and then adding a bunny. "How else are people supposed to know I like you when a message of your unexpectedly pops up on my phone during dinner? Granted I mostly eat with Blue but still, I have to give them some incentive to talk about you."

"Maybe that's the point. The tragic, yet hilarious, story of how a boy died of, le gasp, embarrassment." Dustin made jazz hands at the word 'embarrassment', smirking slightly.

Dustin grumbles, "Yes, it was. It was reckless of me to write the note. I didn't start caring about the outcome until after I left it at your table. I think. . . Anyways, whatever. I still think it was reckless." Dustin smiles at Jas, "Brave and reckless can go hand and hand. Someone can do reckless things because they are brave."

Dustin blushed and looked awau, muttering under his breath, "I think you know very well who I 'so scandalously thought about', Jasper."

Dustin sighs, lightly pushing his thumb over the skin of his wrist, "My professors know, and so douse the nurse. But that's about it, of, my roommate, as well as some of my friend. And now you, I guess." He smiles at Jasper.

Dustin watches, pouting, "It was perfect the way it was." He whines playfully, still pouting at Jas. "And you have a fair point."

(No worries!)
"Somehow I don't take you as someone who would do something so cruel." Jas glanced at Dustin and the tilted his head "maybe. Its a good thing I'm resilient. Do your worst Bunny." He challenged, laughing at Dustin's little performance.

Jas nodded, "yeah you're right. Recklessness and bravery can go hand in hand. In you're case I think it came out to pretty good outcome. Is it normal for you? For you to do spontaneously reckless things? If so, I look forward to more of these surprises." Jas smile, resting his chin on his hand, innocently looking at Dustin as the boy blushed.

"I genuinely don't have a clue, sweetheart. I'm still reeling from the absolute adorableness of the note you so suddenly wrote to me. All rational thought is completely gone for the rest of the day." He winked and arched an eyebrow. "Oh, resorting to using my full name now that you're flustered? I think i like it."

Jas nodded again slightly, glad that people who Dustin trusted, who could actually help Dustin if anything happened to him. He smiled back softly and rolled his eyes playful. "Okay, is this better?" He asked, adding back in red and pink hearts to Dustin's contact.

(I did, lol)

Dustin smirks, “Oh, I can be cruel, just you wait, Jas. I think you’ll find I’m cruel to the ones I care about. It’s my love language. I’ll definitely do my worst. . . If I can figure out what that would be.” He grins, laughing softly. Dustin was a tease, and often teased those he cared about. Most people didn’t know that about him. Often times, he was assumed to be a quiet and gentle in his affection. While yes, he can be, he could also tease, threaten and make fun of people. All in good humor, of course. He never meant to hurt peoples feelings, and when he did, he always felt shitty.

Dustin shrugs, “Ehh. . . I don’t know. . . Maybe? Ask my friends. I don’t think I do, but it’s possible.” He leans back, looking at Jasper with a slight smile. Dustin was generally unsure whether he did spontaneous things, that was up to other people to judge. Dustin just did what he wanted. Last night and this morning had been. . . Interesting for Dustin.

Dustin felt his face heat up even more, and he looked away, chewing on his lower lip. “Well, I guess you’ll have to wait a while. It’s not like I’m going to say it outright, no matter how much you tease me. I have a reputation to uphold, you know.” Dustin mutters, crossing his arms, feigning nonchalance, though his cheeks were red. He was clearly embarrassed, both at the endearment and the teasing. He huffs, “Jas. . . Jasper, really?”

Dustin laughs softly, watching Jasper, “I suppose it’ll do for now. . .” He murmurs. He smiles slightly at Jasper.

(glad to hear :) )
"Your love language is teasing? How cute, Bunny. Like I said before, I can be resilient, I look forwards to what you call "teasing."" Jas did air quotes and gave a light laugh. He could endure teasing, for all the teasing and picking on he had done to Dustin, he could handle a bit of his own medicine. Besides, it would give him an opportunity to make dustin even more flustered.

Jas nodded slightly a thoughtful smile appearing on his features. Perhaps Dustin wasn't spontaneous all the time. Jas hadn't known him to be unpredictable until now but he liked the thought of Dustin breaking out of his shell to do something spontaneous for Jas. To say 'fuck it' and suddenly write the letter, and more, to shove past his nerves to give it to Jas. "you surprise me more and more, Dust Bunny." he repleid softly, glancing at Dustin and laughing outloud.

"Oh? so if not my full name, and my shortened name is used just casualy, what adorable nickname will you call me if I fluster you, hm?" he asked, batting his eyelashed and gently nudging Dustin. "Your poor reputation, now dating the college bad boy, whatever shall you do?" He lamented dramatically, his absolute joy only increasing. "Yes, Dusting, really." He confirmed, glancing down at his phone, adding one more heart and then saving the contact. "Good, I'm glad its up to your very high heart emoji standards."