They were walking side by side. She caught some stares, but thought nothing of it. It happened in a lot in the high school corridor scene. But as they walked someone whispered. She only caught a word, but it was enough. Slowing down, she talked over her shoulder to Marianne.
"People are staring, right?" she asked quietly.
Marianne shifted uneasily, letting her eyes dart from student to student in the sunlit hallway. "I–I think so," she murmured back, wiping her clammy hands on the front of her jeans.
"Okay. Uh, I don't know what to do," Mare admitted nervously. She resisted taking Marianne's hand for comfort, knowing full well that was the last thing they needed. She attempted to sort through her racing thoughts, hands trembling.
"Oh," she breathed, realizing. "Ryan."
Marianne's eyes widened a fraction. "Shit," she breathed, raking a hand through her hair. "Shit, shit, shit." This was the last thing Mare—or her—needed. Rumours spreading like wildfire around the school? What if it got back to either of their parents?
"Do you–Do you want to skip?"
Mare took a sharp breath, clenching and unclenching her fist. She shrugged a shoulder, stare fixed straight ahead. "Would it help?" she whispered through a tight throat.
Marianne swallowed thickly, carefully steering her girlfriend around a group of murmuring guys. “We’d have to come back, anyways..”
She swiftly retreated into a the bathrooms, dragging Marianne along with her.
"Alright, listen," she demanded slightly roughly. "I think you should and before," her tone softened, "you say anything, Ryan already knows about me. Not about you, only me. Let me deal with this before you're more involved than you need to be. Please."
"I'm not going to abandon you!" Marianne protested, horrified at the notion of leaving her girlfriend alone in a situation like this. "We deal with this together, or we hide from it together. I'm not going to leave you with him. Besides—" Here, her voice grew firm. "Besides, if they knew about me, too, it might take some of the attention off of you. Let me be the freak in their eyes."
In the shelter of the closed bathroom, Mare gently pushed Marianne's hair out of her face.
"Marianne, no. You've already done so much for me and I want—" she hesitated. There was no going back if Marianne accepted to leave this on her. "I need to do this for you."
Marianne shook her head firmly, stubborn as a mule. "No. We both stay or we both go—or you go and I stay—I'm not leaving you alone here and that's final."
Mare went quiet— it was no use fighting this. "We face this together, then," she breathed after a moment of silence. She tucked her own hair behind her ear and, inhaling deeply, went to take Marianne's hand.
Marianne linked their fingers together and squeezed. After a beat of silence, she raised her girlfriend's hand to her mouth and brushed a comforting kiss across the knuckles.
Mare soaked in the contact, relishing in the privacy of the bathroom. She didn't know if she'd ever be able to do this, seeing as how the people outside were acting– like they knew everything and were ready to rip it away.
Dismissing all dark thoughts for Marianne's sake, she let go of her and rubbed her hands together violently, nerves tightening in her heart.
"Let's get this over with."
It was like entering a lion's den.
Whispers floated past the two girls, ensnaring them in an inescapable net as they made their way down the hall. Ugly words followed after, slipping past mental barriers and silent reassurances—faggots, dykes, disgusting, unnatural. Marianne couldn't help but press closer to her girlfriend, exhaling a shaky prayer.
The stares dug into Mare's mind, gnawing their way into her heart. She could already feel the tears rising and shame suddenly doubled over, folding into the harsh words, expressions. Could she really do this? It didn't seem possible, not in the face of all the terrifying situations she'd read about.
"Sauvez-nous," she requested of the tiled floor, gaze cast down. Marianne stepped closer to her but in her crude fear she didn't dare react.
They got to their classroom. "Go inside," she murmured somewhat forcefully to Marianne. "I'm going to find Ryan." She barely managed to keep her voice steady.
Marianne shook her head. Each step she took was more painful than the last, each state digging into the back of her head like a thousand jagged knives. The classroom doorway suddenly seemed like a gaping maw—she didn’t want either of them to go alone. “I’m coming with you.”
"Okay but, let me talk to him," she asked quietly. It wasn't forceful or commanding in anyway, simply a request layered with a certain need to clear it all up– not only for Marianne, but for herself as well.
Marianne gave only a small nod in response, eyes skittering anxiously back to the doorway.
Mare turned back towards the hall and, ducking her head, weaved through cruel whispers and strange glares, finally finding Ryan leaning against a locker, talking to some friends.
She went and stood behind him, and cleared her throat