Casey sighed. She wanted to say that wasn’t what she asked, but being harsh wouldn’t work here. “Cam, life, especially this life, is full of hardships. And the way you’re supposed to go about dealing with it is either bottling it up, or hitting an actual bottle. That’s the way this is supposed to work. But this life is also full of choices. We have the choice to not live that way, to trust those nearest to us. To trust them to be strong enough to carry our burdens, so we may carry theirs in turn. If we do not trust our friends to carry our burdens, we are not doing well and in this life that can get you killed, one way or another.”
Cameron made a faint noise at “killed” and shut his eyes tightly. He didn’t want to hear the verb, even if it was just an example. It brought about the memories of his lost friend and last night all over again… He found himself lost in his thoughts for so long, he didn’t respond to her.
Casey sat with him, watching the night, letting Cam lose himself to his thoughts. “Cameron, what happened?” she whispered after a while.
Cameron shook his head and whispered through his fingers and tears, “He’s gone. Dead. Forever.”
Casey tentatively put her hand on Cam’s arm. She wasn’t one for much physical touch and she was fairly sure Cam wasn’t either but the moment called for it. “Who, Cam?” she whispered.
Cameron squeezed his hands into fists and inhaled shakily, exhaling in a pathetic sob. Part of him bashed him for it, another felt dead and soulless. It didn’t care about his shaking body or her hand on his arm or the ruffling wind of the restarted AC unit.
(I see moxie is on right now so can I join? )
(Ya did you see what they said about it?)
She moved her hand to his back. “Hey,” she said quietly. “It’s alright,” she said, meaning his tears.
Cameron wanted to hide in his cloak and scream to the world that is wasn’t okay. Someone who had been so close and so dear to him had suddenly dropped off of their perch and died right in front of him. He watched him die. He could’ve done something! It was his fault. Entirely. He could've helped and saved his life. But he— Cameron— didn’t.
“It’s okay to feel things,” Casey said, feeling she should clarify. “Who is gone, Cam?”
Cameron inhaled deeplg again, only to cut off in another quiet sob. His shoulders heaved slightly and he squeezed his face. Stop! Stop! He willed himself, shaking his head.
“”Crying is cleansing. There's a reason for tears, happiness or sadness.” Do not be afraid or ashamed of your tears, Cam. I mean it. There is no judgment here.”
Cameron shook his head quickly, hating himself for his shaking shoulders and sobs. Each one sounded intolerable and weak. Because he was. He was meek, stupid, and worthless when he cried.
“No? Are you saying there is judgement here? That I am wrong? That you’re less human or unworthy for doing this?”
Cameron let out a sigh he could barely afford. He didn’t want her around if she was going to be sharp and scolding. He squeezed his eyes shut and slowly shook his head again.
Casey sighed and pulled her hand from Cameron’s back to her lap, noticing how her tone and words affected him. This was not her, and she could not be like this with her friends in moments like this. “What happened?” she asked quietly, letting the question hang in the silence.
Cameron rubbed his face again. “Someone… someone in the C.A. passed last night.” He bit his tongue after the sentence, shutting his eyes to squeeze back tears.
(Does Casey know who Flax is? Like has Cam talked about him before?)
Can I join?? I can be like a weapons maker and make like tiny cameras, spy weapons, etc??))
(hello Moxie is back. Do you mean as an extra character or part of the group? edit: oh yeah we kinda have a weapons maker already)
(Is there any way I can join? If not I'll just stalk)
(Do you mean as part of the group or just part of the rp?)
(Where ever there's space lol, it doesn't matter to me)
(just throwing it out there M, but StarkSpangledBanner could be an informant like character. someone who gathers intel and what not.)
(oh, that's a good idea. I could do that, but I also have possible another idea. Let me pm you)
(you. it's not letting me do it. would you mind trying to pm me? sorry)
(Does Casey know who Flax is? Like has Cam talked about him before?)
(No, Cameron doesn’t talk about the C.A.s to anyone.)
Cameron rubbed his face again. “Someone… someone in the C.A. passed last night.” He bit his tongue after the sentence, shutting his eyes to squeeze back tears.
"Oh Cam," Casey whispered, her hand going back to his arm. "Were . . . were you close?"
