forum Pay It Forward with Character Critiques!

Started March 16, 2022 by @threesacult group

tune

aight (cracks fingers) it's been a hot minute but I've finally completed a character profile yeeehaww

@MerrilyWeRollAlong let's dissect your little meow meow

• i would maybe re-order your overview to make it a little easier to read. Like, put "aliases", "full name" and "other names" next to each other and put "tags" at the bottom. Also, you could probably merge a few of those name categories
• LOOKS! again, potentially reorder to make things easier to read. (height and weight at the top, then maybe to a top-to-bottom type organization just so it's easier to visualize) Also! His eye shape, his nose shape, face shape, what does his smile look like, his posture? Just kind of stuff like these that'll really help cement Sal's looks in their brains
• just because I'm a whore for extensive mannerisms, maybe include some of his mannerisms that emerge when he's feeling different emotions!
• have you ever thought about a different category for relationships and such? it would probably be easier to navigate and there you could elaborate on so many more relationship
• ooo maybe go in depth on why those things are his favorite
• all in all, eva, your characters are epic! i love reading about them a;sdkl

aight, here we go with Rhyda O'Connell

Aww thank you MJ!! Yeah I need to figure out how to reorder stuff lol and add the other bits.

Okay, obviously I'm tackling #3 my beloved

• Lesbian icon, we love to see it <3
• I know I've told you this before but I ADORE how much detail you put into the name section!
• Great detail in the face as well
• This is a very small detail, but maybe elaborate on how her blindness ties into her hatred of life spinning out of control? Just bc I think it's a nice detail that strengthens an otherwise basic motivation and is good food for thought
• I think you forgot an "is" for "her demeanor too careless/lazy"?
• Does her dislike of nurses tie into her power at all? I assume she was surrounded by them before and after the procedure–did that strengthen or lessen her emotions towards them?
• We stan a queen who sits improperly in chairs <3
• It's interesting that she's a very fast runner but a slow walker. Is there any specific reason that she takes it slow when she walks?
• Does her blindness coupled with her power impact her running? I'd imagine that it was a big shift to go from completely blind to being able to visualize her outlines and that probably impacted her movements. Can she even visualize the map while running since it takes so much focus?
• Maybe include a brief breakdown of the differences between the different cities–what makes Los Angeles a Ghost City but Glasgow a Utopia City?
• I've said it before but her mother's death and the way she thought she caused it…ouch my heart :(
• It says she was experimented on from ages 11 to 16–when did her power start to appear? Did it develop slowly over that time or was there a "eureka" moment of sorts where everything just clicked? Among the rest of the Six, did she gain her power at around the same time as the others? Sooner? Later?
• I know the other members of the Six had family and friends who were deeply impacted by their kidnappings. How did Rhyda's disappearance impact Caleb, Jadyn, and Thomas? Are they still actively searching for her, or do they assume she's dead?
• You have her sexuality listed twice; once under Love and once under General. I don't know if this was intentional or just a leftover from before you reorganized your profiles.

All in all, amazing detail. Rhyda is amazing, but you already knew that, duh. All of my critiques are super minor and mostly just elaborations.

My next one: Joey Puglisi

OH another minor bit: I noticed between Rhyda's profile and other profiles that you alternate between abbreviating World War Four as WWIV and WW4 and I don't know if that's on purpose or not