forum I'll critique your characters/give you tips! (closed)
Started by @FantasyOCmama15 forum
tune

people_alt 64 followers

@FantasyOCmama15 forum

Vozreal Rafter

Fascinating character! I like his style and personality! Here's a few recommendations I have: This one is a small one, because its not as much about his personality or his abilities, but about his build! I love tall characters, and I love that you gave him broad shoulders, but realistically if he is that tall and if he has muscle mass and broad build, he would weigh more around at LEAST 200-210 lbs. Also, I love that he has flaws, and the 'being cast from heaven by God' thing is really intriguing! It reminds me a lot of Lucifer (Satan). But if he is the antagonist, (you probably know the answer to this already, but you might want to write it down) is he going to win, or lose to the protagonist? If he wins, great- that defies stereotypes! But if he loses, you might want to give him more weaknesses, because if he is immortal and his only flaws are being a gambler and being overprotective of his lovers (and also not knowing when to stop), those are more of sins/personality flaws than they are weaknesses. A weakness would be like (this is just an example)- Every full moon he is mortal and therefore he can die, so he hides away until morning. Something like that! Even if he DOES win the fight between protagonist and antagonist, he still needs to have some weaknesses, because how else would the protagonist put up a fight? But overall I like him! he has lots of personality and I would definitely be interested in knowing more about him! Good job!

@FantasyOCmama15 forum

Please critique Leyak Leyak

This character is very interesting! I like that she isn't perfect and that she kills like a demon would and I especially like how she has the outward appearance of good in public but she is truthfully very chaotic and unstable.
Also, I love how many little warped/demonic details you sprinkled into her character! Wanting the government to collapse so that she can kill, the adrenaline rush that she gets when she kills, and even the tiniest little detail of liking her meat bleeding! That shows to me that she really does enjoy blood and gore.
Also I love how she slowly turned into what she is now, it wasn't something that she already was, and it wasn't something that happened suddenly. She was abused, and her father is probably the main reason why she kills. I love this character! great job.

@FantasyOCmama15 forum

Hi, could you critique my character Ray from what she has so far? Rayle Anderson

Hi! I love Ray's character! I really don't have any tips or bad things to say- you've got her personality and her flaws down. She's got a fun personality and I'd love to read about her.