forum For those in need of Encouragement

Started September 10, 2019 by @Echo_6 group

tune

I've actually never heard that poem before. Thank you!

I have a little something to share
It's not much, but… I don't know, maybe someone could need to hear it

I had a friend. We'll call her G. Well, we'd been best friends since the summer before sixth grade. I thought I'd hit the friend jackpot: She was sweet as can be, smart, always loyal, even sillier than me… But you'll notice I said 'thought.' Because over time it became evident that this was not true. G was not a good friend: In seventh grade, she mocked my mental health, backstabbed me, lied to my face… And that continued until this year. Over the summer, I really thought about our relationship. At this point I had come out to her as bisexual, and she was extremely homophobic. I could not longer vent to her about anything, the way you should with a best friend, because I felt she would turn around and tell everyone else my secrets. It occurred to me that G was not a real friend, not even close, but it is difficult to turn away from someone you have been so close with for so long. I knew I had to walk away from her and her bullcrap. But working up the nerve to do so is hard. I dreaded returning to school because I knew I would see her again.
By some miracle, the second I saw her I just turned and walked away.
Things have happened since then. She was unhappy I had left her. She still backstabs me, worse than she did before, and she has turned entire groups of people against me. I can't count how many nights I've cried over her. She has told people I have called them derogatories and just been overall petty. It was hard for me. I could go into detail on the effects it had on me, but that's not what this is about.
This is about who I found.
At this point I didn't have a true solid friend group. It was more like a variety of acquaintances. I would stay inside at lunch and recess to avoid having to find a group to spend my time with, because I wasn't really close enough with these acquaintances to sit with them or whatever.
Then I met J.
Once again, not her real name. She's in my history class. We were put together in a project. We talked. A lot. We're both bi. Before I knew it, we were dating. This was the beginning of my return to happiness. She helped me come up to my mom, be more honest to everyone around me, and love myself. She accepted that I was not ready to do certain things or spend time with certain people. But one day, I went to lunch and recess with her. I met her friend group. Compiled of two other girls and a guy, they were all terrific– Sweeter, funnier, sillier and more loyal than G was when we first met.
And you know what?
They healed me. They are my people. We play Uno during lunch and recess. We send each other memes 24/7. We are always there for each other when we need to cry or even crash at someone's house for a bit.
I am happy.
G still lingers. She hasn't stopped backstabbing me or lying about what I have done. But I haven't spoken a word to her since the day I decided she was toxic. And I don't miss her: Because I have new friends who really care about me and a girlfriend who I am in love with.

I guess the moral of the story is that things will get better.
People don't always change; Sometimes you have to. Sometimes you have to do what is right for you. It's not selfish to leave someone or cut a toxic friend out of your life.
Try it.
Just hold on. I promise you, everything will start shaping up.
<3

So, I heard this song called 'Truth Be Told' by Matthew west. I really felt like some of the lyrics stood out today, I'll put them below

~Lie number 1, you're suppose to have it all together.
And when they ask how you're doing, just smile and tell them, "Never better."

Lie number 2 everybody's life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds, and your secrets safe with you behind closed doors.

Truth be told, the truth is rarely told, now.

I say I'm fine, yeah I'm fine, oh I'm fine, hey I'm fine but I'm not.
I'm broken.
And when it's out of control I say it's under control but it's not.
And you know it.
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When being honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin you don't already know.
So let the truth be told.

(That's the first part of the song, I'd suggest listening to it, it's really good.)

I guess the moral of the story is that things will get better.
People don't always change; Sometimes you have to. Sometimes you have to do what is right for you. It's not selfish to leave someone or cut a toxic friend out of your life.
Try it.
Just hold on. I promise you, everything will start shaping up.
<3

Thanks. I kind of needed that even though I didn't really realize it (I have a friend who I'm not sure is toxic or not but I don't want to leave her because of anxiety, social groups, her mental health, and also she's been a really good friend to me in the past)

Would you like to tell me about this friend in PM?

(Also that song sounds really good and I like my songs to have lots of lyrics with meanings so I'll definitely check it out <3)

(<3 Did you ever look it up? Just curious)

(Also that song sounds really good and I like my songs to have lots of lyrics with meanings so I'll definitely check it out <3)

(<3 Did you ever look it up? Just curious)

I did! I liked it but I'm not sure if I'll put it in my playlist because I only put songs I really really like in my playlist. Otherwise it's still a good song!

What is the human condition? We've been asking this everlasting question since before our ancestors settled in the Fertile Crescent. Since before Thales hypothesized that the Primary Principle, or the Essence of Existence was water, and since before Gilgamesh, Heracles, Samson, and David. And it is all too natural for our kind to ask a question about a concept as essential to how we identify ourselves as this. So what is it?

Well, I think the easy answer to such a question, is this.
The human condition is the characteristics, elements, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, hope, rebirth, change and coping with our own mortality.
Simple as that right?
Not even close.
The human condition is primarily defined by its limits.
Humans have to be born to exist, they have to grow and develop to reach their highest point, humans aspire and hope and try to do things instead of just wishing them done. Humans always change. Humans always struggle against nature, each other, and themselves. Humans die. And as terrible as those things are, they're the things that make being human worth it. Humans make mistakes, and fuck up, we are relegated to this existence as opposed to being gods, just like the rest of nature we are all too fallable. But at the same time, it's these things, that make what we have so much more valuable. Without agony there can be no ecstasy. Human life is valuable because of the struggle it takes to maintain it, and though we will never reach it, it is striving to make the world a perfect place that keeps the fires in our souls alight. Human life is valuable because we are individuals. Individuals who grow and change, because we laugh, smile, cry, tremble, lash out. Because we find solace in each other, and cannot exist without each other. Because we seek fulfillment in each other. It is seeking to improve our humble existence, that makes it worthwhile.
Being human is crying when your favorite character dies even though they don't exist. It's trying to build a better life for the ones you love.
It's staring into the void of the vast universe with stars that dwarf our Sun, and its endless, icy vacuum and not blinking just because you can. It's being in a comfortably uncomfortable truce with your darker side.
Humanity is the universe viewing itself subjectively through an ultimately flawed but great engine.
And yet it is the little things that define us. Hot, long showers, coffee or tea in the morning, great big 100 lb fluffball doggos, small mewling kittens, staring at your hot self in the mirror, Christmas/Hanukkah mornings, laying in bed on your phone all day. Niche communities full of dorks like yourself but still so different, distraction, indulgence, making someone else's life just a bit easier. A few puppers in a basket, newborn piglets, your favorite song, and musician. It's every little invaluable thing you wouldn't be able to experience if you weren't on the face of this Earth with all the ones you love.
We are capable of wholesome kindness, and unending, cruel depravity. We are a race of people, some of whom are trying to be our best when it's all too easy to be your worst, and we can't afford to lose what love we have in our hearts.
It's like I've said before, life is the purple-prose in the book that is the universe. It is inherently valuable.
Hhhhhh I hope I didn't trigger anyone

Some deep thoughts there, Shuri. And don't worry, I deeply appreciate it. (And no, you didn't trigger me.)

I know by experience that the littlest things can make us sad, but the littlest things can also make us happy. Maybe your friend isn't responding to your texts, but during the time your waiting for that response to possibly never come, try doing some little happy tasks and fun activities. Dribble a soccer ball around your backyard. Play your instrument and/or listen to music. Hop on your favorite video game and destroy those noobs. Watch your favorite show/movie or your favorite YouTuber. Write some more of your book and make your characters do something fun too.
This can go for when you're bored also. I tend to get into some depressing thoughts when I'm alone and have nothing to do, but what helps is just doing small and simple things to get my mind off of life. Maybe that's what you're doing right now, I want to tell you that it'll be okay and there's a valid reason why you're feeling this way, but you can try do something about it.

Wednesday Words of Wisdom:
To become the wise, you must start the foolish.
-anonymous

This is random
But y'all
Kiss that boy/girl/anyone in between
Life ain't infinite
One day you're gonna wish you did

Hey, folks, it's ya boi, taking a break from rewatching Blue Exorcist to maybe offer a bit of positivity and encouragement to whoever is willing to listen! Now, it's the holiday season, and this time of year, things can get to be stressful. Between getting presents for those you love, and organizing/attending parties, not to mention the hustle and bustle of work and school, it can be hard to gather our bearings! To act with compassion and sobriety! I know I've been caught up in things myself. Sometimes we forget in the midst of things, that everyone is human and makes mistakes, and more importantly, to treat each other with respect and kindness. Sometimes we all get too caught up in talking that we forget to listen to what others have to say. Sometimes compassion fatigue sets in and makes our hearts just a little frostier. Like I said, we're only human. So this holiday season, I'd like to spread just a little bit of joy! And thus, I'd like to get some things off my chest.

1. I sincerely love all of you precious beans, all of you angels! I know hard times have fallen upon some of you, and I may not be able to promise you that things will get better, but I can listen, I can be here to offer comfort, and maybe along the way, we can all make some happy holiday memories together 😋! So as you go about your business, and adventures, please remember three things. First, causation does not equal correlation and your existence is not to blame for any ills that befall the ones you love! Second, you are loved, and if the haters talk about you behind your back, it only means you're ahead of them 😉! And second, you matter and you are invaluable as a person!
2. If you're going through times where you're questioning your existence, I want you to think of some things. Your favorite artist and favorite song. Your pets, and (if you have one) your crush and what it's like to be around them. Hot coffee or tea on cold mornings. And baby opossums (they're so cute)! I can't promise you certainty or peace of mind (I can't even guarantee those things for mysslf) but I can guarantee my friendship, my open PMs, and open ears 😉.
3. If you want me to listen to some of your favorite artists, feel free to recommend them, I'll check them out and get back to you!
4. I'd like to apologize to a handful of folks about my lack of role-playing lately (you know who you are) sorry lol feel free to curse me out. _{@Wolfheart and @EvTheBoredRPer}
5. I'm currently working on a poem that'll go directly to this chat! If you'd like to add in a line, feel free! It's gonna be bittersweet lol! I really appreciate it if you do, I'd like to have the poem remind me of y'all and I'll be posting it on New Year's, thanks for everything once more! And with that, we move on to my final point!
6. Have a very happy holiday season, and I hope you guys prosper! I hope school lightens the load that it burdens y'all with, and I hope you have a very happy winter break when it comes! Shuries out!

This is just your friendly reminder that it's okay to not be okay sometimes. You can't be perfect all the time, and sometimes not being perfect is perfect. As some people would put it, "Your flaws make you beautiful. And are the reason I love you."
This time of year can become the most stressful and busy, so this is also a friendly reminder for you to take a step or two back. Breathe for a few moments and look at where you're going before you keep going. Because speaking from experience, sometimes when I get set on something and I think that I need to go in that direction, I will go without stopping. But sometimes if I stop and look at where I'm going, I can see that I'm heading in the wrong way, or maybe I am headed in the right direction and I just need to find a better way to get there. And maybe that's what some of us need to do. I can't say for sure that that's what people need to do, because I don't know what your lives look like. All I can say is that sometimes we need to look at where we're going before we get there, to make sure we're going in the right direction.
Also you're important.
It was going to happen. You all knew it would. I will say that to my grave. And even on my gravestone there will be the words engraved on it, "You Make A Difference."
Smack me if I ever stop saying it. Because it is and always will be very true.
Much love for everyone, Hope you had a good Christmas, stay safe for New Years. And I'm thankful to al of you for being here with me into the new year.

Likewise Rachel!

Hey! If it makes you feel sad, mad, upset, or happy, then it matters!!!
You don't need to brush something off because you think it's not that big of a deal, but if it matters to you, then it is a big deal!
You really shouldn't brush something off because you think it's not that big of a deal either.
Also, if it matters to you, it will matter to your friends and family too, because they care about you and you matter to them.
Wow I've said matter so many times that I don't know if I'm even using it right anymore and it sounds weird now but I hope you got the message. Love ya!

(_{Wants to ask for encouragement because is fricking tired, stressed, worried, insecure, etc. but doesn't want to seem needy)}

Rainy, what's going on? You're not needy, those are feelings we all have at some point. Different situations, most likely, but similar feelings. You are strong. You can do this. Get some good rest in, and you can do this. Just put on some music or whatever helps to relax you, eat a snack, (or a meal) and tell yourself that you can get through life.

(_{Wants to ask for encouragement because is fricking tired, stressed, worried, insecure, etc. but doesn't want to seem needy)}

Rainy, what's going on? You're not needy, those are feelings we all have at some point. Different situations, most likely, but similar feelings. You are strong. You can do this. Get some good rest in, and you can do this. Just put on some music or whatever helps to relax you, eat a snack, (or a meal) and tell yourself that you can get through life.

It’s just… a lot.. and honestly, I just… I don’t know what’s going on to be honest. There’s a lot… but thank you Izzy, I love you bunches <3

I can't convince myself to do anything productive. It sucks. Or even if it's not the most productive thing and I want to do it, I can't bring myself to.

You're welcome Rainy!
That's okay though. It's okay to not know. I love you tooooooo

And Nie, that's okay. I actually have that too. Lowkey needs to do English hw that's due tomorrow, but doesn't want to about at the same time want to do it

:3 <333

And I get that too, I procrastinate way too much

Ikr??

<333333333

I'm pasting an 'advice' thing I wrote to a very distressed friend here in case anyone needs it.
Changed ages and names, ofc.

Stop caring. That's my advice. You're young. It sucks, and I know that you like him a lot, but in the end, we're stupid teenagers; We don't text back. We don't talk to people we like. And we sure as hell don't finish conversations. They is gonna do them, and you have to do you. Maybe you two aren't meant to be together. Maybe you are. Maybe you're supposed to get married and have six children. Maybe you're supposed to be friends. Maybe you're just supposed to cross paths and then go your separate ways. We can't change fate. We can only accept it. There's no point stressing over a person when you have no idea if they're vital to your life in the long run. It's easier to say than do, I know, trust me, I know, but it's not worth it. Please just look at yourself in the mirror and say "fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it." Because that's all we can do, really– Hope, and stop caring.

can i just add on to this?

there are people out there who are not the greatest and people who will hurt you in every way possible and those people? they don't deserve for you to give them one second of your time. stop caring about the people who aren't worth it. stop caring about the unnecessary. but just remember that we are stupid teenagers. there are people who don't give one sht about you but there are also people who give all the shts. so be a teenager. tell your best friend you love them. show the people that care about you that you care about them. we're young. we're stupid. don't waste your time not caring about the important things we're not going to have in five years. so yeah. don't give a f*ck about who doesn't like you or the things you can't control. go numb to the bad things. but i know that there is at least one thing you love, so don't let the people and things that make you want to go numb make you go numb to the people you really love that love you back.

i know that this might not be the best advice in the world. but i've tried not giving a sh*t about anything, and that led to cuts on my wrist and a suicide attempt. so find the things that you really love and keep them close. because we're dumb and young and we deserve to get to be dumb and young for at least a little bit longer. so do that dumb thing and don't give a shit about what people think about you. but please give a shit about the people who actually care about you.

there are so many beautiful things in this world and make sure you find the time to give a sh*t about those things

Thank you awgzvm and Blurry. Both of you are wonderful and amazing and you gave awesome advice.

i'm also going to add something here. it's an edited version of a letter i wrote to someone while they were going through tough times.

hello,

let me start this off by saying how much you're wanted on notebook. and no, i'm just saying that. nor am i saying that now, because you're feeling absolutely terrible. no, we're probably not ever going to completely understand what you're going through. however, you do have a place in this world. you do have friends here.

and… because i feel this is necessary, i'm going to tell you what i told nia. life is cruel. we both know that. and… i like to think of Life as a person. Life has mood swings. violent, rapid mood swings. when Life is down, he takes it out on us. but he isn't all-powerful, so he can only take it out on some of us. right now, we've all been given a quest. it's been ongoing since birth. now, i know that isn't the best comparison, but it works well enough. what is this quest you speak of, you ask? well, it's a quest to survive. to survive in this cold, unforgiving environment we were thrust into at birth. and this quest hasn't been easy. it's never been. but it's getting harder, and we, all of us, we all need to figure out how to navigate the maze that's become our life. the maze, that not only seems to extend in all directions for miles and miles, it is filled with traps and obstacles and holes, with varying depths.

the holes. let me talk about the holes for a quick minute. Life… likes to dig holes. a lot. and they aren't fair. sometimes, he digs shallow holes, ones that require barely any effort to climb out of. other times, he digs deep holes. holes that you can't see the bottom of from the surface. sometimes, it seems as if Life favors others over us. gives riches and money and tips and tricks on how to advance further on our quest to others around you, as if to taunt you. but it is okay. you are you. and every. single. one. of. you. is. a. special. bean. and don't any of you ever forget that. sometimes we fall into the holes. i know what it feels like. well, at least what it felt like for me. it's different for different people, because the situation varies from person to person. but hope is not lost. you can do it. you've fallen into the hole, now climb and fight your way out of the hole! you are capable of this. every single one of you is capable of climbing out of even the deepest, darkest, and most horrid hole. but not many make it out of such a hole. and you know why? because climbing out of those holes requires strength, faith, and the knowledge that you are loved. these holes test you, they push you to your limits, and beyond them. many give up before they make it to the top, thinking that they can't make it.

and that's the way with life. only Life is much harsher, tougher, more strict, chaotic, unpredictable.

yes. Life is tough. he likes things his way, and only his way. but together? we, as a whole, are so much stronger than Life. and that's part of the reason why he tries to tear us apart so much. but you can keep it together! you can do this. i believe in you. we believe in you. the only reason why this world hasn't fallen apart into chaos is because of love and friendship. those are what prevent Life from tearing us all, all of us apart and turning us into lone hermits, growing up and growing old alone. and i believe Life has nearly succeeded, if he hasn't already with you. he has made you believe that you are alone, and that your time in this world has ended. but that isn't the case. do not listen to the lies that Life is feeding you, and i know it's going to be hard to separate the lies from the truth. but if you need help? come to us, come to us to ask for help. we will be there, no matter what it is you need, we'll try our hardest to help you, okay?

that is all, thank you for reading all of this, if you did make it to the end, and… yeah. that's it.

with much love,
izzy <3