forum You promise you won't forget us?

Started June 22, 2021 by @Festive_Fenrir

tune

Jas had crouched down by the tidepools, having seen some hermit crabs and other wildlife he always liked to check in on. He searched around on the ground for the whole shells he had seen earlier and brought them over to the tidepools, knowing eventually the crabs would need to find better-fitting homes. As much as he hated the texture, he also brought back a few pieces of seaweed for them to eat without needing to leave the comfort of the pool.
He stayed by the shore, venturing up the rocks a bit, wanting to get a good view of the setting sun before he went back to the city to eat dinner. He jumped slightly and glanced up with a smile "Hi, love. I did!" He rifled through his pockets and showed Conner the shells and sea glass he had collected. "Think the kids will like it?" He asked, worry flashing across his face as he looked around for the kids, only to find them a moment later still playing in the sand.
"Everything okay? We can head back for dinner if you or the kids are getting hungry. I was just waiting for the sun to set." He offered, patting the spot beside him. "The sunsets in New York are gorgeous, especially when the last bit of light hits the building at just the right angle but I haven't found anything that matches a sunset here. It feels like you're transported to another world entirely."

Connor smiled softly as he settled down next to Jas, mirroring his posture. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as he stared out at the gentle waves. "Yeah, I think they'll love it," he said quietly, his voice almost lost in the sound of the ocean. The sunset cast a warm glow across his face, but his expression remained distant. He paused for a moment, glancing briefly at Jas before his gaze drifted back to the horizon. "Everything’s fine, and I don’t mind staying here and watching the sunset. I just…" His voice wavered slightly as he exhaled. "I just talked with the kids about Jake and why we’re here. They know everything now. I keep forgetting they’re not little anymore, and I don’t have to hide things from them." Connor rested his chin on his knees, his fingers gripping his arms a little tighter. "I feel awful because, during all of this… I’d forgotten that Asher had been there, watching. It feels weird knowing he knew the whole time and didn’t feel like he could talk to me about it." He swallowed hard, his brows knitting together. "So, I guess… I’m not okay." He hesitated, his voice softer now. "I feel like I failed in some way. I’m supposed to protect them, not the other way around." Connor’s gaze fell to the sand as he shook his head. "Maybe I’m not that good of a father after all. I told them that I'm here for them if they ever want me to explain things further but they said they were okay. How can I believe them I just…" Connor started speaking without even realizing that that was not why he had come over here. He didn't even know these feelings existed until now. "I'm sorry, that's not why I came over here. I didn't mean to just let everything out like that."

Jas's eyes widened in shock, "they saw that?" He asked in disbelief, hands clenching in his lap as his gaze grew distant. What he would give to go back to when he found Jake at the apartment and kill him. Jas wanted to hurt him just as much as he had hurt his family. To make him see just how much he had hurt Connor and in turn his own kids. But Jake was the institutes problem now as little as Jas trusted them to do anything.
He took a deep breath, his anger subsiding slightly as he focused on what could be done now instead of the past. "You're allowed to not be okay, heart." He reassured, hesitating briefly before lightly resting his hand on Connor's shoulder. "You did not fail, Connor. The one who failed you and the kids is in jail far away where he can't hurt you ever again. There wasn't a way for you to know what was happening if Jake was messing with your memories." He shook his head slightly, damning the consequences for now and wrapping Connor in his arm, as if that could sheild him from all the terrible things he's been through. "You are an incredible father, Connor. Those kids will ways worry for you, but it's because they love you so much. You've been through a lot, and it's understandable why Asher was hesitant. One of his dad's isn't as great as he thought and was hurting his other dad. He needs to process it but for his and probably your sake as well he's choosing to focus on the good." He pulled back slightly to look at Connir, gently cupping Connor's cheek. "I'm not the most qualified person to vent to but once this is all over, regardless of what Finn can do for your memories, we can find you and maybe the kids someone to talk with that can help you through this." He reassured, slowly standing and offering his hand to Connor. "In the mean time I'm more than happy to watch the kids if you need a break to yourself or we can keep exploring Italy if you need a distraction."

As Connor listened to Jas, he felt a subtle shift in his own emotions. "Yeah, I would like that," he said softly, the weight in his chest lightening just a bit. "I think it would be better to talk to someone. Thanks for looking out for me, Jas…" He took Jas's hand and dusted the sand off his pants when he stood. His eyebrows furrowed slightly at Jas’s suggestion of taking a break. Without thinking, he reached out and grabbed Jas's hand, pulling him back before he could walk away. "No!" he blurted out, his voice louder than expected. His face flushed instantly, and he gave a sheepish smile, trying to shake off the embarrassment. "No, I don’t need a break from you or the kids. Definitely not from you." Connor ran a hand through his hair, trying to gather himself. "Speaking of which, I almost completely forgot why I came over here." Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, Connor stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Jas’s waist. He hesitated for only a moment, feeling the weight of the moment. "There was another part of the conversation with the kids. I told them that…" He paused, his voice soft but steady as he looked into Jas’s eyes. "I told them that I was in love with you." He searched Jas's eyes, looking for any sign of doubt or hesitation. "I didn’t know how you or they would feel about it, but they encouraged me to tell you and said it was okay for me to move on. I think because they really like you and believe you’d make a good father. I know you would make a great father. I held back before because you called me a friend, even though I thought the kisses between us meant more. I was afraid that you didn't like me anymore, but I don't care about that now." A soft chuckle escaped Connor's lips as his nerves started to settle. "Jas, I want to be with you. I don’t want to wait for my memories to come back. I know I’m ready to be here with you like this." His hands slid gently to Jas’s cheeks, cupping his face as he leaned in slowly, their faces only inches apart. "Please," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, "don’t push me away." The words hung between them briefly before Connor closed the gap, his lips brushing against Jas’s.

"Always have, always will, my dear," Jas promised, helping Connor up. He glanced up in surprise as he was starting to make his way down the rocks. "Oh darling, I didn't mean from me or the kids. I just meant If you just want to spend a day at home or relax we can do that instead of going out. I'll plan something with the kids while you get some rest but we wouldn't leave you alone." Jas paused and fully turned to Connor, tilting his head curiously, his heart pounding in his chest as Connor pulled him in closer. "You're getting really used to doing that, aren't you?" He murmured, wrapping his arms around Connor's neck even as he told himself he should back away, that Connor wasn't in the right headspace right now to know what he really wanted after what happened with Jake.
Jas couldn't bring himself to meet Connor's gaze, even as surprise and the faintest bit of hope sparked in his chest. "My heart, I've always loved you and that will never change but you just got out of a serious divorce and I don't want the kids getting the wrong idea." He tried to explain, his words coming out in a rush as he tried to look anywhere but into Connor's eyes where he knew he'd see the same desire that he had felt for ages. He gave a small laugh as he watched the kids play in the sand. "They know more than what they let on. They get that from you." He teased softly, finally meeting Connor's gaze. "I would be honored to be any sort of parental figure for those kids. I called you a friend because I wasn't sure what you were okay with. It seemed like the safest option. It's definitely because I don't love you anymore. That's physically impossible for me."
Jas pressed his cheek against Connor's hand, emitting a purr as he kissed his palm and wrist. "I don't think I can get away from you even if I move to the farthest reaches of the Earth. You are here in Itally with me after all." He teased against Connor's lips, hugging him closer as they kissed, finally letting himself kiss Connor with the desperation he had been holding back for years.

Connor’s heart raced as his lips brushed against Jas's again, the warmth of the kiss spreading through his body like wildfire. "Good," he whispered, his breath mingling with Jas's. Without waiting, he tilted his head slightly, deepening the kiss with an intensity that seemed to say everything he had held back. His fingers slid from Jas's neck to his waist, gripping him with a firm, possessive hold as though letting him go was no longer an option. He savored the sensation of Jas's body pressed against his, the heat between them growing as he pulled him even closer. Their kiss grew more passionate, each movement filled with the unsaid words and emotions they had carried for far too long. Connor’s hands traced slow, deliberate paths over Jas's back, feeling the steady rhythm of his breathing beneath his fingertips. When he finally pulled away, their lips parted with reluctance, and Connor’s gaze lingered on Jas's flushed face. His eyes softened, taking in the sight of him as though he were something too precious to lose. "What’s funny," Connor murmured, his voice low and laced with a teasing warmth, "is that I thought you were taking it slow because you weren’t sure what you wanted." His hand gently cupped Jas’s cheek, brushing his thumb over his skin. "I guess I had the wrong reasoning this whole time." Connor’s gaze flickered with a playful spark as he leaned in, his lips hovering just above Jas’s. "But now that I know…" he whispered, letting the words hang in the air, the heat between them palpable. Without warning, he pressed another kiss to Jas’s lips, slow and deliberate, "I'm not letting you go. To answer your question, yes, I am getting used to doing this because I know how it makes you feel." Connor let out a relieved sigh. "For a second, I thought you would tell me to wait. I don't care that I just got out of a relationship with a man I had already fallen out of love with. I'm sure there were multiple times I can't remember trying to get away from him but never had the chance to. So please, let me love you."

Jas's laugh was drowned out by the heated kiss and for once he was more than happy to give up control. His fingers threaded through Connor's hair pulling him in impossibly closer. His breathing was anything but steady as Connor decided to tear his attention in different directions from the kiss to sending sparks everywhere he was touched, Jas's mind was melting and exploding with excitement all at once. "I've always wanted you, Connor. When has that changed in our lives? I was taking things slow because of what you went through. You didn't need me to be pining after you constantly after what you experienced, you needed someone to help you get back on your feet." He met Connor's teasing gaze, "subtly has never been my strong suit, darling." He murmured, meeting Connor in the heated kiss, his hand sliding from where it had been in his to gently cupping his cheek. "Hm, good. I love being in your arms. I love being kissed by you. I love the way you make me feel." He tilted dhis head back for a moment, his gaze softening and he brushed his thumb soothingly over Connor's cheek. "No, my love. I wouldn't make you wait for something I've also been waiting on for so long." He reached up in his toes and pressed a kiss to Connor's brow. "I'm all yours, my heart. I've always been yours. Hate me, love me, do as you please with me. I'm not going anywhere."

Connor closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of Jas's hand resting on his cheek, the touch grounding him in a way that nothing else could. He let his body relax fully, melting into the comfort that Jas always seemed to provide. "Same goes for you. I'm yours, completely." His voice was soft, a hint of regret woven through his words. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long. I’ve been so selfish… I think it's time I start spoiling you for a change." He leaned his head down, resting it on Jas’s shoulder, his arms tightening around Jas's waist. "I would say I’ll take you anywhere, but…" A quiet laugh escaped him. "Given that we've been reborn many times, I’m sure you’ve already seen the world more than once." His gaze drifted from the ocean behind them to the kids playing in the sand, their carefree laughter carried by the breeze. It made him feel both content and restless. Connor pressed his forehead against Jas’s shoulder momentarily, absorbing the moment of peace. Then, his voice softened with vulnerability. "Do you think one day… all of this will stop? That we’ll stop being reborn? I’m so tired, Jas. Dying and coming back, over and over—it’s exhausting, especially when some of the deaths…" He trailed off, shuddering slightly as the memories of brutal endings surfaced. Connor leaned up, placing a light kiss on Jas’s cheek, the tenderness of the gesture contrasting the weight of his thoughts. "I feel like I’ve done everything I wanted to do, you know? I’ve stopped dreaming." A sigh escaped him as he looked back out to the ocean, the waves mirroring the ebb and flow of his emotions. "Even so, I still want to grow old with you. I just want to live without looking over my shoulder for once… and not be killed for it."

Jas shook his head slightly, kissing Connor's brow comfortingly. "I think we both have been selfish, but who hasn't? Don't apologize for making me wait. If anything, that's motivation for me to try harder." He teased as he wrapped his arms around Connor's waist. "I won't protest to a bit of spoiling, but only if I can do the same." he reasoned, resting his head against Connor's and threading his fingers through his hair. "Untrue, my dear. There are a few places I haven't seen yet. One I've been saving up for was Sweden. I've heard it's lovely during the winter. There are other places as well, but I want to see them with you and, of course, now the kids." He gently kissed Connor's hair, pausing thoughtfully for a moment. "I hope so." He replied softly, gazing out at the beach. If he unfocused his gaze and stared hard enough, Jas thought he could see a vague figure in the distance, stark white hair noticeable even against the sand of the beach. Jas wasn't sure if he believed in much anymore, but he had become attached to the idea of the afterlife. If he loved and kept the memory alive long enough, eventually, when they did die, he would be able to see Winston again. "I know, me too." As heartbreaking as it was to think about a permanent death, Jas wanted to rest. He wanted his life to come to a peaceful ending. It's what they both deserved after so long living on without an end. Jas could understand what Connor meant, some of their deaths were brutal. Jas had experienced almost every death possible, being shot, drowning, falling, tortured, and probably others he had chosen to forget. He didn't even want to think about what Connor went through as a hero. He smiled sadly, having lost his ability years ago to create dreams when he had left for Italy. He had slept dreamlessly for so long that he didn't even know what fantasy of a dream life he'd give himself anymore. None of them seemed worth the pain that came with waking up to an empty bed. "There has to be something, love. Even if it's the most ridiculous thing ever, there has to be something you've always wanted to do but couldn't." He encouraged, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "That's a good start, I would love nothing more than to do exactly that: watch the kids grow old, get a few more cats so Winnie and Ash have others to take care of them and keep us company after they get old, and then maybe travel the world together before we settle down somewhere quiet." He mused, tilting his head back to look at Connor with a smile. "Thats a dream worth living for, don't you think?"

Connor smiled as he turned to face his kids, his heart swelling at the sight of them lying on the sand, completely worn out from running around. Charlotte was busy burying Asher in sand, her little hands piling it over his body as she giggled. He shook his head with a soft laugh. "Her dress is practically ruined now," he muttered affectionately. "Guess that's what washing machines are for." He turned his attention back to Jas, stepping down from the rocks and holding out his hands, his gaze warm. "We should start heading back soon, or maybe grab something to eat before we leave." Connor offered a hand to Jas, helping him come down from the rocks, making sure he landed safely on the sand. "As for things I want to do," he mused, eyes drifting to the horizon. "There's really nothing on my mind right now. I feel like I've done everything I wanted to." He glanced back at Jas with a soft smile, his tone playful. "Maybe I'll have an answer by tonight. Check back in with me then, okay?" He chuckled and tilted his head slightly, looking down at Jas. "I like being taller than you," he teased, stepping closer. "That means I can scoop you up anytime I want. I hope that in every life from here on out, I get the tall genes and you get the short genes."

(No worries!)
Jas nodded, burying his face against's Connor's neck as they turned towardss where the kids had been playing. He laughed at seeing Charlottes attempt to bury her brother and shrugged. "From everythign thats been going on recently thats the least of our worries dear. I'm glad theyre back to being remunctious kids and getting messy." he breathed in deeply before nodding and slowly picking his way down from the rocks. "Then I'll ask you tonight, and every other night after that until I get an answer." he vowed, gently taking Connor's hand as they got back down to the beach. "One little taste of being taller this life and now you don't want to go back, huh love? I have no complaints I'm sure I'll find new ways to make you flustered even while being shorter." he grinned and kissed their interlocked hands before making thier way towards the kids. "Ready to start heading back you two?" He asked as he gather their bags. "I was thinking of going to a local pizza place tonight for dinner. It's not your typcal New Yorkk style pizza, some argue its better, but I thought it'd be a nice change to pasta." he suggested, finding the map on his phone and slinging the bag over his shoulder. "It's just a quick walk from here, or we coul dhead back to the car and drive there if everyone is tired."

Connor’s heart warmed as Jas’s words settled in, the soft vow threading through the moment like a quiet promise meant just for them. He smiled, his free hand brushing against the wind-swept strands of hair falling into Jas’s face. “I’ll hold you to that, you know,” he teased, his voice low and affectionate. “Every night, huh? I'll look forward to it.” They picked their way carefully back toward the beach, Connor’s grip on Jas’s hand firm but gentle, a silent reassurance that he was always there. As they approached the kids, Charlotte squealed with delight, clearly winning the battle to bury her brother in sand. Connor couldn’t help but chuckle, the sound light and unguarded. “But that sand is going to hell to wash out. And it would get all over your house. I'm sorry Jas.” When Jas kissed their interlocked hands, Connor’s pulse skipped, a familiar warmth flooding his chest. Jas’s playful grin only deepened his fondness. “Yeah, you just did." As Jas called out to the kids, Connor crouched to help gather the scattered beach bags, carefully shaking out towels and folding them with practiced efficiency. Charlotte and her brother groaned dramatically at the mention of leaving, but they scrambled to their feet, brushing sand from their legs. “Pizza sounds perfect. Plus, it’ll give me a chance to hear why you think this place’s pizza could possibly rival New York’s.”

Has shrugged and shook his head "think nothing of it love. Everytime I come back from the beach the house is covered in sand. The only concern I'd have would be the cats but thankfully Ash and Winnie don't eat sand. A house can be cleaned. All I'm worried about is that you and the kids had a good time." He reassured, helping to fold the towels as the kids shook themselves out and joined them. "Oh baby, there's no competition. You want good pizza you come to it's birthplace." He declared with a proud grin, shouldering the bag and carefully picking their way back towards the main road, the streets still flooded with people who were also looking for a bite to eat. The night life in smaller towns had always fascinated Jas and they were safe enough where walking around in the later hours was peaceful and even encouraged for the beautiful shift as the sunset turned the city gold. "Did then home? Or do these two have energy to do more?" Has asked as they carefully wove their way through the crowds.

“Okay, well, as long as you’re sure,” Connor replied, his tone softening as he glanced at Jas. “But how about we take the pizza and eat it at your place? I mean, your balcony is absolutely to die for, and I think the kids might enjoy eating at home more than staying out any longer. They look pretty wiped.” As if on cue, Charlotte and Asher began shuffling toward them, their movements slower now, sand clinging to their legs and hair. Connor smiled as they approached. “It looked like you were having a lot of fun. Ready to get some food?”

The mention of food sparked an instant revival. “Yes, yes, yes!” Asher exclaimed, his voice bouncing with renewed energy. Charlotte didn’t say a word, opting to tug insistently at Jas’s arm, her unspoken demand clear. Connor bent down to grab Asher’s hand, giving it a slight squeeze as they started to make their way off the beach.

“We can go out for dinner another time,” Connor said to Jas, glancing over his shoulder. “Just us, or maybe the four of us. You know, like a proper date. Not that today hasn’t been one—because honestly it has been. A big, messy, wonderful date, in my book, at least.” He started to ramble on but connor’s attention shifted as Asher tugged at his hand and leaned in conspiratorially. “So… did you work everything out?” Asher whispered, his big eyes looking up at Connor. Connor blinked in surprise, then nodded, his voice low. “Yeah, we did.” Asher’s face lit up with a tired but genuine grin. “Yay,” he murmured, his excitement softened by a yawn. “That means I’ll have an even better dad than before.” His small voice carried so much certainty and trust that Connor felt his heart swell.

"Home it is then, I don't think the cats are used to me staying out for this long anyways. I'm sure they miss the company. I'll call, so by the time we get back, it should be there." Jas pulled out his phone and found the contact information for the pizza place, switching to Italian as he ordered dinner, opting for a large pizza with half cheese in case the kids or Connor didn't like toppings and the other half a traditional Margherita pizza with olives and sausage. He glanced down while still on the phone, a small smile crossing his features as he carefully scooped up the girl, cradling her against his chest as he finished off ordering the pizza. "Poor things, I didn't realize we've spent the whole day out non-stop." He replied softly, glancing up at Connor with a grin at his familiar rambling.
"Do you really expect anything less from us, dear? If we ever become a normal couple, please find Finn or some sort of doctor because something is most likely wrong." He teased, distracted as Charlotte began to nod off in his arms. "It's ok cuore, we'll wake you up when we get home." He promised softly, gently bouncing her in his arms as he began to softly sing a children's lullaby for her.

They eventually found where Jas had parked the car after a few minutes of walking in the city. He carefully strapped Charlotte into the back of the car, trying his best not to jostle her too much, put their shopping bags and stuff they had brought with them in the trunk, and headed back home. Something Jas adored about Italy that would always rival New York was the comfort of the night. While Jas thrived at night in New York, it was a different energy than in Italy. Here, it was peaceful and serene, whereas back in New York, Jas felt almost as if he clung addictingly to the danger of the streets, looking for any distraction possible, particularly one that would bring Connor to him. Here, he didn't need that, when he first came back to Italy, he thought he would go mad the first few weeks, knowing he couldn't keep his act up without getting into serious trouble with the law. Times had changed since the last life, and if Jas had wanted any chance at seeing Connor or at least living a relatively normal life, he couldn't keep up the act of a villain anymore. Sure, he played the bad-boy-drummer-with-a-tragic-backstory-no-one-could-understand persona almost too well, but it wasn't someone he wanted to be all the time, not for Connor or for anyone else who might stumble into his life.

"So," He started softly, glancing in the rearview mirror briefly to make sure the kids were asleep. "You're sure about this? Us, I mean? Even without the guarantee that Finn can get your memories back, you still want to try… with me, of all people?"

Cuore = sweetheart (I think…according to google)

(awwww that's so cuteeee)

The confusion in his eyes softened as realization dawned—a realization that hit him like a slow, steady tide. Jas had been pouring his heart out to him for lifetimes, quietly, persistently, with the kind of love that demanded nothing in return. He took a deep breath, his voice low but steady as he spoke. "Jas, today has been one of the best days I’ve had in this lifetime… maybe even my entire life. I don’t think I can say just how much it means to me. But I need to say this: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. For all the pain I caused you over centuries of… of being too blind to see what was right before me." Connor’s hand lifted, tentative at first, before he gently cupped Jas’s cheek, his thumb brushing against the curve of his jaw. The warmth of Jas’s skin beneath his touch made the moment feel real. “I know a simple apology isn’t enough. It could never make up for all the hurt I’ve caused you, but I swear, from this moment on, I will spend the rest of my lives proving to you how much I love you. How much I want to be with you.” His other hand reached out, resting over Jas’s where it sat in his lap, as though grounding them both. Connor leaned in, his forehead nearly brushing Jas’s as his voice softened further. “I’m sorry it took me so long to see how incredible you are. How patient, how kind, how… steadfast. But thank you—for waiting for me. For never giving up on me, even when I didn’t deserve it.” A faint, self-deprecating laugh escaped his lips as he shook his head. “And just to be clear—I’m more than sure. I don’t need to question it anymore. Of all the people I could choose, it’s you, Jas. I don’t care if Finn can get my memories back or not. If he can, great. But if not…” Connor’s hand slipped from Jas’s cheek to clasp both of Jas’s hands firmly in his own. “Then that just means I get to make new ones with you. And honestly? I think that might be even better.” He moved back into his own seat, "Does that give you a better understanding of how I feel?"

Jas slowly tilted his head into Connor's hand, shaking his head slightly as tears pooled in his eyes. "You wouldn't need to apologize if I hadn't been so persistent and gotten the hint ages ago." He laughed softly and turned his head to kiss Connor's palm. "As much as I loved you, I shouldn't have kept going and going. I should have respected your constant and clear rejections back then and given you space. I realize that now, if not a little too late." He sighed softly, pressing his next kiss to Connor's brow as they laced their hands together. "It's more than I deserve. You don't need to promise anything, my heart. You being here, letting me in your life, in your kids' lives, is far more than I deserve." He grinned, wiping his tears as he broke away momentarily. "steadfast is a nice way of putting stubborn." He kissed Connor's hands, watching him with the most love and adoration as if it were the first time he had laid eyes on him. "I think you're right. I was hanging onto the life that we were happy, convinced we could only be happy then. Now I see that we still make this work, even without that life." He smiled tentatively, "If Finn can't get your memories back, I can tell you all about last life if you want." He offered, unclipping his seatbelt for a moment and stretching over the seat. He gently cupped Connor's cheek and gently tugged him closer. "It does. Thank you my heart." He murmured, leaning and pressing a sweet kiss to Connor's lips.