@Imperfect_Autumn group
“All right, E,” Sterling chuckled again, making his way around to sit on the swing beside her. “Should we race to see who gets higher the fastest?”
“All right, E,” Sterling chuckled again, making his way around to sit on the swing beside her. “Should we race to see who gets higher the fastest?”
Eden snorted. “You really are a child, aren’t you, Sterling? But all right. I’ll play your game.”
“Hey, I’m just trying to get you to have a little fun,” Sterling chuckled, leaning back in his swing. “Go on three… two… one!”
Before Eden knew it, she was higher in the air, a peaceful smile on her features. Halfway through their game, Eden had stopped trying. She simply enjoyed the wind on her face and the way her heart dropped when her swing neared the ground.
At one point, she stopped swinging, simply letting the ride go on on it’s own.
Sterling pushing his legs harder and harder, trying to see just how high he could get. The height was exhilarating, making him feel like he was on the top of the world. He chuckled to himself and glanced down at Eden, who was simply sitting in her swing at this point. He didn’t mind that she had stopped, so long as she looked like she was having fun. And she did, so that was good. Distracting her from her own thoughts was his goal.
Eden closed her eyes, inhaling deeply through her nose. Up here like this, moving against the swing… she felt like she was flying. She felt like she was free, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. When was the last time she had enjoyed herself like this? When was the last time she had allowed herself to be open like this, to enjoy something that didn’t involve causing her pain? It had been so long.
Then she felt eyes on her and she opened her eyes to find Sterling looking at her. She quirked an eyebrow in question.
Sterling grinned down at her and shoved his feet into the ground to stop himself. “You look like you’re having fun,” he mused softly, leaning back slightly in his swing.
Eden offered a shrug, her hand tightening on the chains holding the swing up. “I guess I am having fun,” she murmured, but then realized he wouldn’t be able to hear her. She repeated it, a little louder. “It’s been a while.”
“Well, I’m glad. I’m glad you’re having fun. That was the whole reason I wanted to bring you out: to have fun,” Sterling declared, his soft grin ever-present on his face.
The swing slowed down until it stopped moving altogether and she looked at him, tilting her head to the side.
“Let’s walk,” she said softly, pulling herself off the swing.
“Walking sounds good,” Sterling agreed, smiling at her as he pushed himself from the swing. He stepped closer and offered her his hand again.
Eden looked at his outstretched hand again and took it without hesitation, intertwining their fingers. She lifted their joined hands, thumb rubbing the back of his hand before she finally looked at Sterling, asking the question that had been eating her whole, “Exactly what are we, Sterling?”
Sterling squeezed her hand, glancing at her when she lifted it. At her question, he sighed and glanced away with a shrug before his gaze found her again.
“What do you want us to be? Because I know that I’ve been acting like we are more than friends, but I will stop if you would rather I don’t,” he murmured. “I’m not sure what we really are, but I know what I would like to be to you and what I would like you to be for me”.
So he had been doing it on purpose. What he wanted… it wasn’t friendship, Eden realized. It was something more. And he wanted that with her, the broken girl.
She opened her mouth to say something—what, she didn’t know, but at that very second, she was interrupted by a voice. A voice Eden knew very well. A voice burned into the back of her head, never flushing out no matter how hard she tried.
She whipped her head around, eyes wide in fear. Her hand squeezed Sterling’s tightly as her eyes skimmed the park, looking at person to person, her heart beating so fast Eden swore it would explode. Her breathing grew harsher, her face turning pale. Had he returned? Was he back? Why? Why now?
Eden suddenly looked panicked, and from what, Sterling has no idea. One second, she looked like she was about to speak to him, and the next she was wide-eyed and staring around like something was very wrong.
“Eden… What’s up?” he murmured, drawing her slightly closer to his side.
”You’re mine forever”.
”You belong to me, and the second you decide it’s okay to look at other men, I will show you your place.”
”Tell me who you belong to.”
”Keep in mind that even when I’m gone, you’ll be mine, and nothing will change that.”
”I’ll be back to reclaim what’s mine.”
No matter how many times Eden looked around, she still couldn’t find the familiar blond hair nor the haunting blue eyes. Was he playing tricks with her again? Why? Why did he have to return when she was finally getting her peace of mind? Was he even here, or was it just a trick of her mind?
But Eden could never mistake that voice. Harsh yet pleasant to the ears, melodic like nails scratching on the board. And then she heard Sterling’s voice and him pulling her closer and she never wanted to pull away from him as she did in that moment.
“Home. I want to go home,” she found herself breathing, slipping her hand out of his hold and running her fingers through her hair. She was going crazy. That was what he wanted, right? He wanted to see just how much he remembered he. He wanted to see if she remembered what he did to her, and if he was here, he knew he’d won. She’d never forgotten. Not even for a second. “Take me home. Please.”
When Eden pulled out of his grasp, Sterling raised his eyebrows. Something was definitely very, very wrong of she was acting this way. Whatever it was, he would try to help her through it the best that he could.
“Okay. Then let’s go home,” he said softly, nodding toward the direction they came from. “We’ll still have to walk there, though.”
“I don’t care,” Eden breathed, swallowing thickly, feeling like someone was squeezing her throat. “I want to go home. Now. Please.”
Before he sees me. Before I give away more than I already have. Before he decides to approach me.
Sterling nodded and placed a gentle hand on the top of her back, leading her away. “We’re leaving now, E. Don’t worry,” he said softly.
When Sterling rested his hand on her back, it took great effort not to flinch away. She didn’t want a physical contact. Not right now, not when she was losing herself to her nightmares. Not when he could be close, thinking of ways to punish her for her disobedience. She shuddered just thinking about it—just thinking about how much he would hurt her if he found her being comfortable with Sterling.
But why was she getting so scared? She should be over it. After all, it was two years ago. And she was Eden. She was Blackhole, the Crystal of her school. People feared her. So why was she the one getting so worked up over it? This was pathetic. Stupid. She was such a goddamn coward. And if he truly was back, whatever that would happen to her… she knew she would deserve it. Just like everything else he’d done to her.
Eden let Sterling lead her away, her arms wrapping around herself protectively. She wanted to curl up into a ball and hide away from the world. She wanted to forget who she was and what she’d suffered—what she let herself suffer through. She wanted to get away from Sterling, a male, but God, did she want him to stay as well. This was so ridiculous. It was foolish to think she could ever turn her back on her past. It would always bite her. It would never leave her alone.
They walked on in silence, Sterling not bothering to speak. He knew the effort she was taking to not flinch under his hand, he had felt her muscles twitch when he touched her, so he stuck his hands in his pockets. As they walked, he kept a step behind her, close enough that he was there if she needed him but behind her enough that she wouldn’t see him.
When they’d finally reached her apartment, Eden desperately unlocked the door and stepped inside, nearly collapsing. She leaned against the wall, breathing harshly, trying to gather her bearings. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was slightly bent over, feeling suffocated.
Hands squeezing her thighs, fingers digging into her skin harshly. The owner of those hands slammed her into a wall, blue eyes burning with anger. She’d messed up. Again. It was her fault. She was the reason he had lost control, like it always was.
She didn’t let a whimper escape her lips. If she did, he’d hurt her even more. But it was pointless; even if she kept silent, he’d hurt her just to make her scream.
”You were smiling,” he spoke, his cold voice reaching her ears. She squeezed his eyes shut. “You were smiling for another person. How many times have I told you that you must only smile like that for me?”
”I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice trembling. He didn’t want that answer. His fingers dug into her skin even more, drawing blood. She flinched, biting back tears. “I was wrong.”
”Do you know what happens when you disobey me?”
He hadn’t waited for her answer. He broke her once again. And once he was done, once she was on the floor, sobbing, body aching, bleeding, he cradled her in her arms. He kissed the base of her throat and told her he loved her.
Eden snapped out of that memory when her cat nudged her on the head, mewling worriedly, rubbing his head against hers affectionately. Eden realized she was on the floor, trembling and shaking, her arms wrapped around her, teeth clenched to keep sobs away. Razor mewled again, slipping into her arms, trying to make his owner feel better. Eden had forgotten she had a guest in her apartment.
Sterling stepped in behind her and quietly closed the door. He watched Eden silently, knowing that she wouldn’t respond well, if at all, if he spoke.
And then Razor brushed against her leg, and she looked up to pet him. The cat meowed at her, nudged his head against her, and simply comforted her. Sterling wished he could do the same.
“Eden… I’m not going to ask what just happened, no matter how curious I am about it, but you can tell me any time, okay? Just let me know if there’s something I can do for you,” he murmured.
Eden flinched when she heard his voice. It was soft and gentle, but it was still sharp to her. Anything at this point would feel the same to her. Sharp as a blade, and threatening as one, too. And he’d seen the way she’d lost herself. Seen her losing herself. Razor licked her cheek, nuzzling against her chest and she tightened her hold on him, still shaking. His laughter kept reverberating in her mind. His cruel eyes gleaming with satisfaction each time he’d hurt her and she’d whimper or scream in reply.
Her throat clogged up again.
“… leave…” she whispered harshly, too quiet but she knew he could hear her. She repeated it again, in a much stronger voice, though it never failed to crack or waver, “I want to be alone. Leave…”
Sterling froze at her words. She wanted him gone? He would understand her wanting him to back up, but gone?
“Eden… C’mon,” he breathed, rubbing a hand through her hair. “Let me try to help you. Please.”
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