forum There are voices in our heads rp (Closed)

Started October 16, 2018 by @basil_

tune

(I don’t want school tomorrow 😞)
(And I hope you feel better)

Tyler burst through her door and into the house, looking around frantically. “Macha?!” He called out, panicked.

(Ugh Same)
(Thanks, you too if anything shitty is going on irl)

As if through a trance, she heard Tyler’s voice calling her. She didn’t answer. The tears were coming faster now, her body wracked with broken sobs as she clung to the body of the man who’d loved her like she was his real daughter. “Dad Dad come back—“

(Thx :)
(And ikr so much painnnn)

Tyler felt his breathing quicken as he heard Macha’s voice. He ran towards the sobs and stopped at the door, staring in in disbelief. Without a second thought he bent down next to Macha and scooped her up into his arms, rocking her back and forth and holding her tight against his chest.

“Tyler…”, she half-sobbed, half-whimpered into him as he held her. Her world was made out of pain and tears, but a pain worse than the one she’d felt when she was shot in the back. Hans was gone. Her dad was gone. The only person who had cared about her for years was gone. “He— he’s—“ she couldn’t make herself choke out the awful word.

Tyler nodded a little and glanced up to her dad laying on the bed. He picked Macha up and carried her out of the room, closing the door behind them. “Everything will be okay..I promise. Just try and follow my breathing.” He said quietly, breathing in and out slowly.

Macha squeezed her eyes shut and tried to do as he instructed, trying to stop herself from being pulled under. Dad. A part of her hated herself for crying like this, for breaking like this, for making Tyler pick up her pieces. His dad died too. In a much worse situation than this. Stop crying, now. But she couldn’t make herself stop, only hold on to Tyler as if he were a lifeline until her breathing calmed down and her sobs turned into silent tears.
(Writing a mixture of grief and self hate is weirdly refreshing. Feeling a mixture of grief and self hate is terrible)

(I feel you)

“There you go. Good, good. And I want you to know. I’m not saying you shouldn’t grieve, because you absolutely are entitled to. I just don’t want you feeling like the world is crashing down around you. Because I know how hard this is right now, and I know you feel scared and devistated and hopeless but I want you to focus on the positive things right now, and maybe leave the bad ones for later.”

Macha nodded and relaxed against him, so grateful to have him, but st the same time hating herself for making him do this. “I-I’m sorry.”, she managed, blinking the tears out of her eyes.

"Don't be. You aren't forcing me to do anything. I love you and I want to be here for you." He said, looking at her and kissing her forehead.

Macha nodded, squeezing him back. How can you be so strong?, she asked him, about everything. About— about your dad—

I keep it hidden. Push it all down inside me. It's not good. Promise me you'll never do that..

I used to do that. Then I met you. Now it's all spilling out and I don't know how to stop it. I wish I was strong like you. I'm sorry about everything you've been through.

Keep it that way. Take control of your life while you still have time so you don't end up like me. There's no coming back from this feeling. I never want you to go there Macha. You don't have to be sorry..

She didn't tell him that she was already there. Didn't tell him that sometimes she wished her skin wasn't made out of stone just so she could dig a knife into it and see blood spilling over. Only nodded and hugged him tighter.

(ach I think I'm going to cry)

(this is so sadddddaddad)

But this is your time. Your time to mourn. And i'll be here for you. Even if I'm not always here for myself, i'll always be here for you.

(I'm legit crying whoops)
(I'm in a really weird mood today sorry)
(my sister offered me a piece of chocolate and I almost started crying wtf is happening)

Macha nodded again, curling up against him, her thoughts fixed on the dead body lying in her father's bed. Thank you… And I'll always be there for you.. (even if she hates herself) A thought suddenly hit her. Oh god I'm going to have to manage the house alone.

(i'm in exactly the same mood though like i'm so sad and I hate myself but this random Hamilton song just started playing and I died laughing)
(holy fuck what is going on rn I just teared up and now its gone and now im laughing WtFFF)

Good thoughts. You can come live with me if you like.. He thought quickly, not regretting it.

(you're amazing don't hate yourself)
(Hamilton is great listen to more of that to make yourself happier but not any of the songs after Say No To This or you'll be sadder)

Macha's eyes flew open. "Really?", she said aloud. It was too good to be true. "I don't want to.. invade your space–"

(ha ok i'll try)
(you're amazing too)
(ikr Hamilton is like so asdfhjdfsjamazingngngng)
(and i'm listening to MCR rn so i'm good)
(like light brown i think)

"Of course not. What's the point of both of us living alone?" He smiled a little, knowing she was happier.

(thanks)
(Hamilton is life)
(MCR MCR MCR)
(k thanks)

"That's a good point.", she admitted gently. "Thank you." Her gaze drifted back to the bedroom. "Oh god… do I have to call a funeral place now? What– what do I do with the— with the– body–"
(should we skip after the next few posts)

(ye i gtg for a second to eat but i'll be back)

"Ahh..I think so? I've never really dealt with these things before. But like..do you want to have a funeral or anything?"

(kk)

Macha took a shuddering breath in. "Yeah. We're the only ones who would be there though."