forum so, heed the stars, their light will leave us in the dark. // small group, 2/2 // CLOSED, stalkers welcome

Started Jan 08 by @the-void-phantasmic language

tune

(Just gonna do a round of boring Morning Stuff)
(Jk Juno’s having a crisis <3)

Juno was curled up in their bed, their wings wrapped around themselves, but they were wide awake. They had gotten practically no sleep the night before, feeling too anxious to even think about shutting their eyes. Which was understandable, given what they were about to do today.

Juno questioned if it was even a good idea. Nothing good ever came from hurting people, is what they were always told. But this wouldn’t hurt, right? Just a quick and painless shot. So really, they weren’t doing anything that bad. It didn’t matter as long as their own torment stopped. Right?

They had bitten their lip so hard that it bled, barely noticing the sharp pain that had accompanied the wound. Juno rolled onto their back and stretched out all of their limbs, including their wings. They just needed to distract themselves before they texted Sol and Apollos. That way they didn’t have time to overthink anything. Yeah, that was a good idea.

They climbed out of their bed, fluttering their wings a bit out of habit. At least they still had a routine. That was one thing they could control and be sure about. Get up, get dressed, force their hair to behave, eat, brush their teeth. Okay, they forgot steps sometimes, but it still counted. Kind of.

As Juno pulled on their favorite hoodie, they felt the patch they’d sewn on it. They used to have a pretty decent amount of hobbies, when they didn’t feel so tired and awful all the time. Maybe they should eventually try to pick those up again. Once they felt better. They decided to just keep on the sweatpants they were already wearing. Nobody would notice.

After several minutes of fighting with their hair in the mirror, Juno determined that it looked okay enough, and stuck a small flower in it near their ear. They gave their reflection a small smile. The one bit of effort they put in every day. Juno’s smile fell as quickly as it came, and instead they stared at themselves with a dead look. Ironic.

(Oops this is shit)

Apollos woke early in the morning to the ringing of the alarm clock by his bedside. It took exactly two seconds for his ocular implants to boot up, which left him staring blankly at the ceiling. Once his vision had cleared, however, he began his morning routine. It was like clockwork. He brushed his hair, brushed his teeth, and made the same breakfast he always made on this day of the week. Then came cleaning the kitchen after he had finished cooking. He never left more than a speck of dust anywhere in his house.

As far as Apollos knew, he didn’t have any plans to go anywhere. But still he got dressed as if he was, since he preferred it anyway. Black slacks, a fitted shirt tucked into them, and a sleek black jacket that he would put on for if he left the house. Accentuating the outfit, he always wore a small silver necklace. One of the few bits of sentiment he had left. He stared at it when he looked at himself in the mirror. Why did he keep it? It was something that he himself could not answer.

It was 7:30 AM now. Apollos went to his living room. He tried to watch the local news on the TV, but it was barely enough to hold his attention. All he bothered to catch was what the weather would be, and even that was unreliable. He switched the TV off and resorted to going over to a bookshelf in the living room and taking from it the first book that caught his eye. Much more interesting than hearing about the latest car wreck in town or murderer on the loose.

(Just assume he’s reading up until the point where Juno texts, since I don’t really think Juno’s waking up nearly as early-)

Sol wakes up, staring up at the ceiling. They hadn't slept well last night, again…Hopefully the day would be a little more relaxing….One can hope…..
Sol begins brewing a cup of coffee, idly bouncing in the kitchen, still in pajama shorts and a long sleeve. Sol decides to skim through one of the many self-help books strewn across the apartment. 'How to Mend a Relationship' 'Friendship for the Introverted Mind'…. He's dedicated a large amount of bookshelf and table space to these sorts of books ever since he began trying to mend Juno and Apollos relationship. Well, that implied there was a real friendship between those two to start with.
They finally takes a drink of the coffee. It tastes atrocious. Why do I always drink it straight? Did I used to like Black Coffee? Sol dumps a few packets of sugar into the drink, and takes a second sip. A little better. As the sun rises, they decide to get dressed, it was 7:30 already. ….Wow, its early…Did I really wake up at like, 6?
Sol, now in jeans and a gray long sleeve, sits on the couch, staring at the horizon, not feeling like doing anything else for a little bit. Just sit. Admire the sun.

(“Friendship for the Introverted Mind“ Chonny Jash reference detected. /j)

Once Juno was a bit more awake, they walked out to the kitchen and looked around. They thought about eating something, but they found themselves not having much of an appetite that morning. When was the last time they did? They couldn’t remember. It was probably fine. Instead, they sighed and hopped up onto the counter, kicking their feet lightly.

That was all they focused on. If their mind drifted anywhere else, they might just panic. No overthinking, that was why they were out there in the first place. So they just focused on the movements of kicking their feet, how they bounced slightly against the cabinet doors, the little bit of wind resistance. . .

What time was it? Juno left their phone in their room. They kind of needed that.

Juno jumped off of the counter, wincing. They landed just a little wrong, now their feet hurt. They shook their head, then quickly walked back to their room. They opened their curtains a bit, squinting at the light. But they did want to see, so they just had to stop standing right next to the light source, probably. They sat on the edge of their bed, grabbing their phone and pulling it off the charger.

It was already 9:30. Juno blinked. They must have slept in late. Now that they thought about it, this was pretty early for them. Well, whatever the case, Sol and Apollos probably had been awake for a while by now. Juno might as well text them while it was on their mind. They quickly pulled up the trio’s group chat, hesitating. What should they say?

Juno: hey
Juno: u guys free this afternoon

There, that didn’t sound too bad. Hopefully.

Click-click

Apollos glanced up from his book after hearing a notification from his phone. It only took him a second to spot it charging on the table nearby where he was sitting. He reached over and unplugged it, and the screen automatically turned on. There he saw the notifications were texts from Juno on the chat shared by himself, Juno, and Sol. He hesitated to respond, knowing how their meetups often went lately. And he didn’t care for fights that got physical. But he also thought, perhaps, that this meeting would go differently. So he opened the chat and responded.

Apollos: I am. Did you have something in mind?

Juno didn’t often plan the get-togethers between everyone. At least recently. That was part of the reason why Apollos might have thought this might end up differently. Or it wouldn’t, and each would leave some degree of disappointed or pissed off. Regardless, he was obligated to go now. What would happen? He could only guess, since it’s always dependent on Juno’s mood.

(A bit short, oops-)

Sol looks at his phone. Interesting. Juno didn't normally initiate any encounters….and also almost never would actively invite Apollos to anything. Sol always had to trick the two into the same room to force an attempted therapy session, or they'd never want to see the other. Sooo….progress? Hopefully? Sol ignores all prior consequences of optimism and types out a response, honestly curious about what Juno wanted to do.

Sol: I've got a lotta nothing planned
Sol: so yeah I'm free
Sol: why

He noticed Apollos rather calm reaction, to the text. Perhaps this would be a good day, and no one would have any dramatic conflicts. This could be a good day! He told himself.

(They're being so optimistic it would be a shame if I cocks gun)

Juno let out a small sigh of relief. Good, it didn’t sound suspect. At least, that’s what they hoped. They stared at their screen for a moment before responding.

Juno: wanna come over to my place later
Juno: and like. hangout ig

Juno groaned out loud. That sounded bad, didn’t it? They questioned saying more, but that would be even worse. It was probably fine. They were thinking about it too much. It was hard not to, but still. One wrong move and it would be over. Juno hugged their knees to their chest, staring anxiously at their phone.

If Sol and Apollos agreed, which it looked like they might, all Juno needed to do was hold a decent conversation or something, and wait for an opportunity, and then kill Apollos. Easy plan. Except it wasn’t, and there was so much that could go wrong, and it was already driving Juno mad just thinking about it. Stop. Thinking.

Apollos watched the texts show up, thinking. There was nothing to it. It was something the three of them had done before countless times. So he should respond as normal.

Apollos: What time?

It seemed simple enough, to just try and spend time with the two of them. As long as Juno could tolerate his presence, and as long as Sol didn’t try another one of his so-called therapy sessions. Apollos understood what he was trying to do. They were all friends at a time. But then all at once, the peaceful harmony was broken between the three of them. The further time progressed, the more it shattered. Was it meant to be put back together? Apollos wasn’t sure. And at this point, nor did he care.

At least that’s what he thought, on a surface level. Juno’s inability to keep their emotions in check aggravated him in a way that he couldn’t describe with words. But somehow, before, it didn’t. Juno and Sol were the only two people he would ever think to consider friends—despite him not truly knowing what that concept was. No one was close to him, nor was he close to anyone. Emotional connection is something he did not need nor have. But this friendship was the most resemblant thing he had to it.

Sol: Sure
Sol: I can come over whenever, just let me know

Sol considers adding something else, but decides just accepting the invite would work well enough. Any extra psychoanalysis could come later. Besides, neither of the two responded well when Sol tried to delve deeper into their psyches like this, especially over text. He stands up from on the couch, stretching from his sleepy position. He was dressed and ready for the day, he simply needed to wait for Juno to let them know what time she was planning. …. It seemed like a good day, really. This was a chance to truly, really start mending this twisted hunk they called a relationship. Juno starting the interaction was a really good sign. Sol hoped so. It was all he really did these days, hoping that this day, this thing that Apollos or Juno did was a sign of growth. But it was the best way to proceed, compared to the dread that rose everytime he let himself get too deep in his own thoughts…..
Sol begins picking up the self-help books, organizing them, putting them back in the bookshelves as he trys to focus on the positive possibilities that could come from today. If everything went well.

Juno: idk, like noon or smth
Juno: if that’s ok

Juno found themselves biting their lip again, not nearly hard enough to injure themselves but it still hurt. Hopefully that wasn’t too early. None of them were doing anything, so Juno wouldn’t think so, but they could definitely be wrong. They shook their head.

Happy thoughts.

Maybe they would be less sad all the time after this. They could pick up hobbies again, like they thoughts about earlier. They might even have the will to live again. Okay, yeah, it would take a long time, but now it at least felt like a possibility. Juno stood up and started pacing around in a somewhat circle-like pattern.

(I’m so sorry for the tiny response)