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Started January 05, 2019 by @_sleeby_rat_

tune

“Yeah…I mean, I thought you were awake and just calling me Simon because you were tired, but…” Sebastian trailed off, looking off to the side now

Simon…
Lionel swallows and glued his eyes to the bedsheets. “How much did you hear?”

"Just you calling me Simon a lot, and asking who's blood it was…" Sebastian said with a small, awkward shrug

Lionel’s heart stopped.

“Right. I— you— okay. I’m sorry… you weren’t supposed to hear that..”

"You were asleep, it's okay. I won't judge, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," Sebastian said softly, wrapping an arm gently around Lionel now. Though after he spoke, he found himself feeling a little bad. He hadn't told Lionel really anything about himself or his past, and Lionel was forced to relive a part of his in front of Sebastian

All he could do was repeat the apology and bury his face in Sebastian’s shoulder, trying and failing to hide how badly shaken the dream had left him.

After a long time, I dared to speak up. “He was— he was my first boyfriend. They……. put him through conversion therapy.”

Sebastian had originally opened his mouth to say that it was okay, that Lionel didn't have to talk, but eventually he let his mouth fall shut. He gently ran a hand through Lionel's hair, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of his head to gently encourage him to keep talking

Sebastian probably didn’t want to hear any of this….. Lionel squeezed his eyes shut. All he could manage to force out after that was:
“He couldn’t— he couldn’t see me without—— without breaking down after that. So he didn’t.”

"Did he break up with you?" Sebastian asked softly, rubbing at Lionel's back now to help soothe him some more. He carded his other hand through the other's hair, just wanting to help him

No. I did. He was a Siren; he had a voice like waves crashing against the surf and whales singing their underwater song. Whenever he saw me, his words crumbled.

Lionel voiced none of these thoughts, pulling away from Sebastian. “I’m sorry. You probably don’t want to hear about my ex-boyfriend.”

"No, no, it's okay, really," Sebastian tried to say, afraid he had upset Lionel somehow. "I…You should get to talk to someone about that sort of stuff when you need to…" he said gently

“It’s fine,” he whispered softly, even though it clearly wasn’t. “I ruined our morning after…”

"You had a nightmare, it's fine. People get nightmares, and sometimes they cause talks like this. It's not your fault, you didn't ruin anything," Sebastian tried to gently insist

“Okay,” he answered quietly, voice cracking. “Okay.”

"Don't worry, I'm here baby. Nothing's gonna hurt you," Sebastian soothed, gently maneuvering them so they were laying down, Sebastian wrapped comfortingly around Lionel

“I don’t care if people hurt me….. pain is familiar.” Even so, Lionel burrowed deeper into Sebastian’s embrace. “But thank you..”

Sebastian's lips pursed a bit at that. Familiar? "It's okay, baby, it's okay. You're not gonna be hurt anymore," he soothed softly, wrapping his arms a bit tighter around Lionel

That’s what I told him too.

Lionel only nodded, curling up into a tighter ball. He nodded again for good measure, as if that could make everything else go away.

Sebastian cuddled Lionel closer, just trying to help him. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that, baby. Just…get a little more rest," he said softly

God, he felt like a stupid third grader, whining about his insignificant problems. But he nodded again and squeezed his eyes shut, praying for a dreamless sleep.

Sebastian continued to gently stroke Lionel's hair, letting his own eyes fall shut as he tried to soothe Lionel back to sleep

Exhaustion quickly overtook him, dragged him beneath the surface of unconsciousness like a wave to a drowning man.

Drowning is actually quite peaceful, Simon used to say, After your lungs fill with water and you stop fighting.
He always shook his head, gave a disbelieving smile.
Now, he wasn’t so sure.

Sebastian continued those gentle motions for a while, just stroking Lionel's hair. He brushed his lips across Lionel's jaw, eventually pressing a soft kiss to his cheek

Skip? Sorry if most of this is coming out absolute crap, it’s 3am where I live and needless to say, my brain is not working 😂)