"I-I know, I just don't know how to help you!" She said exasperated, trying to keep tears back. "I can't help you, because you won't let me, and then when I try to get you to help yourself, nothing works. I don't know what to do for you. I hate seeing you like this, it honestly makes me sick to think about."
"I-I'm sorry, Mel! Please… don't cry, you…" Lucas started tearing up as well. "I'm sorry, I… I'm so sorry… I don't know how to help myself either, I c-can't… please…" Lucas had always been incredibly empathetic, and whenever Melissa cried, it tended to set him off as well. Especially when they were kids, they'd spent many days just crying together over pretty much nothing.
When she wasn't sure of how she was feeling, she only needed Lucas around. Most days he knew what she was feeling, even before she did. So of course, when he started to get worked up, she forced herself to stop, and take in a few steady breaths. "I'm OK, I'm OK." She whispered, her forming tears gone. "But you aren't, so that's what we need to talk about." And as her sentence closed, the waitress came back with her smile. "Ready?"
Lucas quickly brushed away his tears and ordered the pasta so the waitress would leave them alone. When she left, he exhaled shakily and turned to Melissa again. "I can't… stop myself." He said weakly, his voice strained. "Sometimes I go into a sort of daze, and I… I don't even know what I'm doing. Before I realize what's happening, there's blood on the damn floor again…"
"Then clearly moving in together would benefit you in multiple ways." She whispered, laying his hand open on the table. Tracing letters into his palm at random, she turned her gaze up to his face. "You need someone living with you," Pausing, she thought of something. "Do you have a pocket knife on you right now?"
"Uh… y-yeah… sorry." Lucas dug a swiss army knife out of his pocket and handed it over to Melissa, looking down at the table guiltily. He didn't know what she was thinking at this point, actually, just figuring that she no longer trusted him with anything sharp.
Taking it, she put it in her pocket before looking back to him. "Anything else?" She asked softly, still tracing random symbols into his palm. He was right with that much, she was making sure he had less ways to hurt himself. The less weapons he had, the less likely he was to injure himself. "Pills, other knives, anything?"
Lucas felt in his pockets for a few seconds before he shook his head. "No, just that. I've never had any kind of pills…" He started toying with a strand of his hair with his free hand again, struggling to meet Melissa's eyes.
"Lu," Calling his attention, she reached over to pet his cheek. "Come on, it's me. Did I push things too far?" She asked him, now worried she had messed something up. Though her facial expression was smooth and collected.
He jumped a bit when she touched him and shook his head. "N-No… you're right. I'm just stupid, and… and sick. I-I mean, what kind of person just carries around a pocket knife, especially just for that?" He laughed weakly.
A breath of relief escaped her lips, and a smile overtook her. "Come on, I told you. You aren't stupid, just the things you do are." She hummed, pulling her hand back. "I think you need to eat, and then take a nap. You look tired, and even if you say your aren't, I can tell." She hummed, sipping from her water glass.
Lucas had opened his mouth to deny the fact that he was exhausted, but immediately shut it upon Melissa knowing it was crap. "Alright… if you say so, Mel. I… I'll try my best." He smiled weakly and managed to meet her eyes for a second.
"I'll be around for a little bit, so you can sleep peacefully for a bit." She mentioned, taking his hand in her own once more. Feeling touchy feely, she played with his hand. "Does it get better during the school year?"
"Somewhat. School's kinda good at distracting me, I guess. At the moment, I don't typically have somewhere to be all day." Lucas watched their hands quietly. "I can't really do anything to myself when I'm surrounded by other people who aren't constantly drunk."
"Then we really need to find jobs, and move." She whispered, knowing it was her only option. It was what was best for the both of them. He needed someone to keep an eye on him, and she needed someone just to be around.
Lucas nodded. "I've already got one job, but I don't get paid much… I'll have to get a second job. What with school and all, though, it might be difficult to find time to work. Especially considering baseball."
"Then let me get a job first." She hummed, drawing patterns into the sweat of her glass. Mindlessly, she was doodling hearts without a second thought. Not that that was a big deal. "I'll get some money, and we can figure out things from there."
"Alright… maybe I can do commissions in my free time?" He suggested. "If anyone is actually interested in buying my art, that is…"
"Do you have any pictures?" She asked softly, looking up to him. "I want to see your art." Perking up, she leaned on her palms, coming forwards.
"Not on me, sorry… I might be able to grab my sketchbook from my house when we go over later." Lucas leaned back a bit when Melissa leaned forward. "I don't draw anything too interesting… mainly Claus and I, my old dog, and random baseball players I like. Oh! And sunflowers! They were always my mom's favorite."
"Sunflowers?" She asked aloud, keeping that as a mental note. "That's alright you don't have anything, I just wanted to see." She shrugged, scooting back, because clearly he was uncomfortable at being close. It kind of hurt, if she was being honest, but she wouldn't admit that.
"I'll show you later, I promise." Lucas looked up when the waitress returned with the food. Honestly, it wasn't that he was uncomfortable with Melissa being close. Well… kind of, but not necessarily a bad uncomfortable. He was more nervous than anything. Her being so close allowed him to admire her gorgeous features, which always have him some unwanted feelings he knew he needed to suppress.
Thanking the waitress, she pushed the bowl closer to him with a smile. "Eat up Lu." She hummed, a bright expression on her face. So desperately she tried to ignore the feelings rising up, but they kept coming. 'Come on Melissa, you know he wouldn't be interested. So just stop.' She told herself, taking another sip from her water.
"You should eat too, Mel. I can't eat all of this." Lucas took a bite of the pasta and seemed pleased with it. "C'moooon~" He pushed the bowl towards her a bit, smirking. "Tryyyy it~"
"I'm not a baby, I can't be fooled by your attempted trickery." She hummed, ignoring the steaming dish. Slowly she was becoming hungry, but she wasn't about to admit defeat to him. "But thank you for the offer."