He narrowed his eyes at her when he detected pity, though he said nothing as he shut the door and bent down to set the kitten down next to the food once more. "They work," he said, glancing over at her. He didn't want her pity—it wasn't necessary for her to waste it on him. He was just trying to survive one day at a time, and hotels were convenient enough for him. Not exactly cheap, but cheaper than getting a house or rental.
Kas was about to sit down on the bed when he caught sight of Joanna's hand. His black eyes darkened impossibly and he stalked over to her instantly and grabbed her wrist. "What's that?" he questioned lowly, eyes on the small burn mark eerily similar to the much larger ones around his neck and over his chest. His grip was firm, but gentle almost, not wanting to harm her but also wanting to know what happened to her. That sight triggered his worry and prompted him to search her for more injuries, finding some blooming around her jaw and neck. "Joanna, what happened to you?" he added slowly, worry-filled eyes flicking up to meet hers.
A gasp escaped her lips when he grabbed her wrist. Looking up into his eyes, she couldn't stop he own from glossing over. "I-well, er…" Tilting her head down, she pulled her hand away from his. "I ran into a man while I was at the store." She mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. How was she suppose to just tell him. It wasn't as hard now, but still rather difficult.
Forcing herself just to breath, and keep her tears back, she walked over to the small sofa. Mostly to put some space between the two of them. He was about to ask more questions, and she couldn't lie to him the answers. So she sucked in a shaky breath, patting the spot next to where she was sitting. "Come sit," Jo directed him, pulling her legs up onto the cushion so she could rest her chin on her knees. "I know you're not going to let me go until I tell you what happened."
Kas watched her calculatingly, eyes following her as she walked to the couch. He didn't make a move to follow her just yet, thinking over her words and the look in her eyes. There was a tick in his jaw, but it didn't take long for him to move over to her and sit on the couch. "You're right about that," he mumbled, sitting back and sprawling his legs out in front of him. The kitten jumped up onto his lap, using his sweatpants as leverage, but didn't stay there for long—the little feline padded right over to Joanna and bumped his head against her leg.
"Talk to me, Jo," Kas whispered, eyes on the kitten as he went through scenario after scenario. She met a man at the store, someone that had her so scared she called him, just her worried voice setting him on edge. Someone that had marked her—hurt her. He didn't like where this was going.
Joanna stretched one of her legs out, and picked up the small kitten. "He looked just like you." She whispered, holding the kitten close and stroking it's head. "It was scary how similar he was to you." Her voice was soft, and delicate. As if she spoke to a certain point, she might just break. "He gave me a warning. A message."
At this point, she let warm tears slip down her cheeks. Avoiding his gaze at all cost, scared he was going to judge her for being scared. The whole charade flashed through her memory, each scene more agonizing than the last. 'I shouldn't be here. He could have followed me.' Her thoughts echoed, in a repeated fashion. "I-it was a message… to you…" Finally it was said, and she shook her head. "I shouldn't be here, not now." Standing, she set the kitten on his lap and started for the door rather quickly.
Kasiya cursed under his breath when she finally told him who it was—by just telling him what he looked like. He ran a hand over his face, eyes flicking to the floor as his mind reeled with the information. But when he felt the weight of the confused kitten on his lap and heard her trying to leave, his head snapped up to look up at Joanna. Tears. Those were tears.
She was scared.
He barely even thought once at his actions as he set the kitten aside on the couch and stood up, catching up to her easily. "Shortcake," he murmured, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his chest. He turned her around so that they were facing each other, keeping her close and pressing his lips to the top of her head. "Breathe," he whispered into her hair, one hand stroking up and down her back.
Her stomach was churning, and when she felt his protective arms she stopped. Flitting her gaze up to him, nothing could stop more tears from coming. Her lower lip began to whimper, and she held him close. "P-please don't leave me Kasiya." She cried, holding onto him tightly. She was more than scared, but not fully terrified.
"I can't," Joanna told him, her shoulders jerk as she cried into him. "I, can't." She repeated, trying to control her breathing. It wasn't working great, as it only sounded like she was hyperventilating. "Don't leave, he could come back." She sounded like a scared child, here in his arms. "I don't want him to come back."
((OK, but my heart is aching))
((Awww, mine is too))
Kasiya's chest constricted when he saw those tears in her eyes as she looked up at him, and he felt like his very soul would shatter as he held her while she sobbed. His brother had done this. His brother had scared his shortcake, his Joanna, and reduced her to tears as she clung to him. Kas closed his eyes and held her tighter, pressing another gentle kiss to the side of her head.
"I'm not going anywhere, shortcake," he murmured. "I'm not letting him go anywhere near you again, alright? He'll have to go through me, and I'm not going to make it an easy fight." For once, this wasn't a ploy, wasn't a trick to make it easier to win the bet. He was being a hundred percent genuine, and he meant every word that came out of his mouth. He was furious with Redore, but he didn't let that show for Joanna's sake, just held her close and refused to make her feel alone and scared.
Nodding firmly, she pulled away slightly looking up. Her face was flushed a red color, while her eyes were still teary. Her body seemed to be trembling as she stood there with Kasiya. "Y-you promise?" Hiccuping, she wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. "Really truly, you promise?" Quite honestly, she expected him to say yes. There was no rhyme or reason to it, besides the fact her emotions were being screwy and he seemed rather trusting.
Joanna sucked in a shaky breath, leading a hand up to his face. She had to stand on her toes to reach him, but she didn't care. Her lips were still shaky, but they curled up into a smile. Hot tears slipped down her cheeks, as she starred up into his marvelously dark eyes. "You really promise?"
He smiled faintly as he looked down at her, keeping his arms firmly around her even as she pulled away some. He never wanted to see her like this again, never wanted her to fear his brother like he had feared Redore when he was a kid—sometimes now he still feared him, depending on what psychotic plan his twin had up his sleeve. Kas tightened his hold on her with one arm while his other hand came up to gently wipe away her tears.
"I promise," he whispered to her, swiping his thumb over her cheek to catch a fallen tear. "I'm not leaving for as long as you want me near." Kasiya wasn't a liar, and this was far from a lie as he met her gaze with his determined one. Okay, so maybe—just maybe—he was getting more attached to Joanna than he should be, but he didn't care about that right now, or perhaps anymore. All he wanted was for Jo to be safe and happy, not afraid for her life because of something he had drug into her life unwillingly.
Hearing those reassuring words she relaxed completely. She titled her head into his hand, eyes falling closed. A calm demeanor was about her, even while she was sniffling and trembling. It was quiet in here, so Joanna focused her thoughts on that. The super strange quiet, besides the soft echo of the kitten walking around and her shaky breathing. A word hadn't escaped her lips since he had promised her he wasn't going to leave. So sucking in a deep breath, she spoke some words she wouldn't expect would be directed at him.
"Thank you."
Voice soft, and low, she began to finally fully calm down. Her eyes fluttered open, to meet his strong gaze. So unique, so gratifying. It was odd how they were so different from his brother's, yet the exact same. There were so many similar differences between the two, that Joanna was grateful for as of this moment. His features were friendlier, and kinder than the other. Kasiya was gentle with her, almost treating her as if she were delicate. They were the little things that mattered. As they were the things here, calming her fears.
Thoughts raced through his mind, confusing him and his intentions as they whispered into his ear, showed pictures behind his eyes, echoed haunting sounds in his head. Kas closed his eyes to try and silence his mind, resting his forehead against the top of her head.
The bet he had made was pointless now. She knew about Redore, was hurt by him, and Kasiya wasn't about to leave when she was in trouble. A month might not be enough time, it might be plenty, he didn't know, but he'd stay either way to make sure Joanna was safe. "The bet's off," he murmured, thumb slowly swiping over her cheek again just because. "I…I had made it because I thought I could protect you from him without telling you anything, but…" He pursed his lips and fought for words. "My brother will do anything to torment me until I'm nothing. I'm not letting him do the same to you, even when I hated you." Hated—past tense. There was no point in lying even if he were a liar.
Her large green eyes widened more. If that was even a possibility. "W-what? You mean…" Her thoughts trailed off, and she lifted her head up. Without much thought, she slid her arms up and around his neck. "This was all to protect me?" Joanna whispered, a look of surprise was on her face. She couldn't believe it. He didn't lie, that wasn't him. He was being 100% honest.
The look never left her face, even as she knew he wouldn't lie about something like this. 'This is so insane, he does care!' Her thoughts echoed, as her heart beat faster. He really did care, for her. Joanna, the hot headed girl that always teased him. He cared. For her. These thoughts wouldn't leave her alone, so she just let them pry at her as she starred up into his eyes.
Kasiya's eyes darted off to the side almost shyly, the hand on her face coming up to rub the back of his neck. "Redore's a psycho, I wouldn't want anyone to suffer as I did—do—because of him. But… yes… I suppose this was all to protect you." He rolled his eyes to the other side of Joanna, still refusing to look at her even when he was trying to pretend like his actions didn't hold any meaning. "Congrats, you got me to go out of my way to focus on you," he drawled, even if a soft smile was threatening to show on his lips.
Truth was, he's always cared about Joanna in some way or another. Yes, he wouldn't wish his brother upon anyone but his worst enemies, but he didn't think he'd go as far out of his way to protect someone as he had with Joanna. He'd likely give them a warning, then skip town for added measure. Not this. Not being there with her to personally make sure she was okay. Not keeping her in the dark as long as possible so she didn't have to know about his horrible brother. Not making a bet that had backfired so he had an excuse to stay by her side.
Joanna was truly something else.
Heart beating fast, she felt that smile of hers' coming to her lips. Nothing could prevent it. A light laugh came with the smile, as her look came from shocked to glad- amused even. "I don't care about that Kasiya," She told him, pulling away just enough. Pulling him along over to the couch, she sat holding his hands in hers'.
She was being as straight forward as she could be. He had been, so why shouldn't she? "I care about the fact someone else cares. Even if it was the last person I was expecting." Riding her eyes of the last of her tears, she let the wide smile take place of her fear not even five minutes ago. "If you didn't know, I care for you. A lot. There's no changing that fact." In attempt to sound genuine, she kept her voice low.
"I always have, and probably always will."
He sat down next to her, though his gaze still avoided her as if he was in denial of the situation. He listened, and he processed, but he couldn't bring himself to think. He's done too much thinking already, and his brain felt like it short-circuited. She cared about him. Not even his past friend had spoken those words, even if Kas had foolishly believed it was an unspoken truth. Not his parents, and he could never see Redore saying that.
With his hands in hers, he looked down at them. His fingers curled around hers and traced mindless circles along her skin. He blinked at the burning in his eyes. "No one…" he whispered, then turned his head away from Joanna entirely as he continued, "I've never had someone care about me. I'm never good enough. I'm the screw-up, the broken one. I'm a no-good troublemaker that just looks for excuses to cause problems. The only other person I thought I could trust left me. I, in turn, never cared about anyone, except that one time, and that backfired." He breathed in deeply, looking up at the ceiling and tipping his head back to rest it against the back of the couch. "You're different. Always have been. Could never figure out why."
Her heart ached at his words. She couldn't believe what he was saying, once again. Every word coming out of his mouth, she would say they were all lies. Every word about himself that was. Each word he spoke, only made her feel even worse for him. "Oh Kasiya…" She whispered, pulling one hand away from his. Reaching over, she place her hand on his cheek, turning his face to look at her.
A slight frown had taken over her smile, and it was clear this bothered her. A lot more than anything before. Leaning in, she placed a sweet and delicate kiss on his cheek. Nothing special, just something to show she was there. "You're not a screw up, you're a human being." She whispered, wrapping her arms around him. "No one is perfect, so why should you be? You know it's true, so don't deny it. Don't lie to yourself, saying it is. Just don't." She told him, gently rocking back and forth. Him still here with her, in her arms.
He finally met her gaze when she forced him to look over at her. He didn't know what he expected, but it wasn't this. It wasn't her getting upset and bothered by how he and others saw him. It wasn't a kiss on the cheek and arms wrapped around him. It wasn't words of reassurance that somehow warmed his heart. But, either way, he was relieved.
Finally, he let himself relax and just let everything go—at least for now. His parents, Redore, nothing mattered at the moment. All that did matter was the strange girl holding onto him as she rocked back and forth, telling him that he wasn't everything he's been told repeatedly. The strange girl that he still couldn't figure out where she fit in his life. Kas wrapped an arm around her and adjusted himself slightly so that his body was facing her a bit more.
"Thank you, Joanna," he whispered, keeping his head resting against the back of the couch while he kept his gaze on her face. He didn't know what else to say besides that. Thank you for unintentionally being there for him when he needed a distraction or simply a friend and support. Thank you for being the person that she was. Thank you for reminding him that life wasn't all about him, but those around him. Thank you for caring about him enough to still be here, despite their rocky frenemy relationship.
((Gosh, I'm sorry it took so long…))
Those simple words put a smile on her lips. She relaxed, resting her head on his chest in a relaxed manner. She was calmed here with him, and she assumed he was too. "Of course Kas, I wouldn't dream of being somewhere else right now." Joanna whispered, curling up closer to him. A soft meow followed by purring was heard, as the little kitten hopped up onto Kasiya's lap. A sweet smile rested on Joanna's lips, as she reached over to pet the little thing.
Her thoughts and emotions were twisting through her mind. Every little thing was confusing while clear at the same time. It was clear she was meant to be here. It was clear he wanted to protect her. It was clear, that she wanted to be here. But that's where things got confusing. Why did she want to be here? What was keeping her here in his arms? Would she always want him to stay close by? Her heart started to beat faster, that last thought was so compelling. Would she? Is that really what she wanted in her life?
'What am I thinking? Why am I thinking?'
She was unable to figure this out. So why contemplate on it, if it was near impossible to figure out? Letting it go, she began to hum softly. "You know, I really never expected to be here. Ever." She whispered.
((It's okay!))
Kas gave up on thinking over the situation, just doing what he did best—winging it and letting life take the reins. He kept his arm around Joanna, though it curled around her a little more when she settled against his side. His other hand lifted when he felt the kitten jump onto his lap, then settled down to stroke it's back as he smiled down at it. Hearing her words, Kas hummed and focused on the cat as he whispered back, "Neither did I." His eyes flicked over to her face as he petted the kitten.
Sitting here, petting a nameless stray with Joanna of all people curled up into his side with her head on his chest, was the last thing he had thought would ever happen to him. Really, he hadn't even considered this a possibility, both with his old feelings towards her and her mutual feelings of dislike. But now things were different, complicated, confusing. He felt perfectly content like this, feeling her weight pressed against him, holding her, simply being there with her. It was all centered around her—around Joanna. He felt content when he was with her, and it wasn't even just this moment, he realized.
No matter when they ran into each other, he felt comfortable around her, like he could tell her anything, share just a bit of his life with her, and let her in just a but more than everyone else. He gave into her habit of wanting attention with barely a thought. He sought her out when he needed something to occupy his mind and time. It was all so strange to him, but he didn't want to give it up anytime soon, especially now that things were clearly different between them.
A light smile curled onto her lips, and with it she looked up to him from her place. Things were different, but a good different. One she didn't mind in the slightest. One she actually looked forwards to, and couldn't wait to see what was made of from this point. It was an odd sensation, who would guess this is really what she craved?
This was what she wanted. Really truly, she wanted this forever. Or at least forever from this moment. Being with Kasiya, his arms around her. This was what she had dreamed about, having someone care. And she managed to fulfill this dream. Or at least part of it. Though she didn't expect him to finish her true wish. Her wish to find someone to love her. If he did love her, it would be news to her, as she didn't consider this love. This was just caring, true caring. Something she lacked most her life, and seemingly him too.
Sucking in a deep breath, she let it out slowly still studying his strong features. He was rather handsome, and Joanna would have admitted that even before this point. She wouldn't lie, he was really captivating in a way. Something was strange, yet gratifying about him. A thing she couldn't name. "If I asked you something, would you be 100% honest with me?"
Kas arched a brow in curiosity, intrigued by her question. "…Yes?" he answered slowly, "Always am." Okay, so maybe he sometimes, on certain occasions, withheld the truth, which was a workaround way of lying, but he wouldn't do that right now. She sounded quite serious, so that's how he'd take it, even if his curiosity's been piqued and he was interested in what she had to ask him that would require that promise.
While he waited, he looked down at the purring kitten, who was trying to climb up his shirt. He smiled and chuckled, then gently slid his fingers under its small belly to guide it up to his chest. It let out a happy squeak, then settled itself under his jaw and curled up happily. Its violent purring vibrated its entire tiny body, making Kas' smile grow just a little bit more.
"Why me?"
She knew this wasn't very clear, but that was what was ebbing at her. Eating her from the inside out. It wouldn't go away, ever since he had come to her less than 24 hours ago. She had tried to ignore it, but it wasn't going to go away that easily. So she had to ask. Why her? Why would he trust her with his life, or with his problems? They knew each other, but just barely. So why?
Assuming he need more information, she continued her question. "Why would you come to me, and trust me, and comfort me? Why would you choose to open up to me, or even talk to me? Why-" She stopped, her voice falling short. With a heavy sigh, she pulled away from his grip to get a better look of him. "Why are you still here with me?"
Kas frowned at that, not saying anything until she was well and finished with her questions. Again, he didn't know what he was expecting, but that wasn't it. He absentmindedly petted the kitten's back as he thought about it. Also without thinking about it, he tightened his grip on Joanna when she pulled away some. When he realized what he did, that was all he needed to answer her.
"Because you never ran away," he whispered, the words so soft they were almost just a breath of air. He lifted his gaze to the ceiling, begging his eyes to not release the tears itching to be free. Here it was. The first time he's told anyone this. "Growing up… Redore had all of the attention, all of the praise. I was never good enough for my parents. He had magic, I didn't. He was the eldest, I wasn't. He was the smart one, I wasn't. Everything he did was right, everything I did was wrong. When I got fed up… I was thrown out. They abandoned me like they promised. The only people I called friends turned their backs the moment I was out of the picture, running to Redore's side like pathetic little cronies just begging for his attention. I was dying, and no one cared. The only person I called a friend left me when things got bad on my part." He closed his eyes and slowly shook his head side to side, a tick in his jaw. "You never left, no matter what I did. You were always genuine, even with your dislike of me. I valued that more than anything, because I never had that. You stayed." He couldn't continue. His voice left him. His eyes squeezed shut.
Lips slightly parted, tears of her own were coming to her eyes. This wasn't what she expected, but then again she wasn't expecting anything. Her thoughts were swirling, her head was pounding. Nothing she had to say was right, not anything she could do was right. Almost nothing. But what she was thinking, was out of the question. Or was it?
Seeing the pained look on his face, and hearing his broken voice she couldn't stand it. Maybe what she was thinking, was really what he needed. Though she didn't want to screw things up. Her lips closed into a firm line, as she reached over to tilt his face back to hers'. With no words, or no warning, she leaned in resting her lips against his. If she screwed up this forming friendship, so be it. But right now, this is what she thought was right. For once in her life, she really thought this was right.
His mind went blank when he felt her hand on his face, eyes snapping open to look down at her. And then her lips were on his, and he almost completely forgot about what he just confessed. He let out a breath and relaxed into her, grateful. He didn't even know he needed that, so how she knew was beyond him. He gently plucked the kitten off his chest and set it on the couch next to him, then wrapped his other arm around Joanna as he shifted again to face her completely.
His lips pressed into hers for just a moment—a moment that he savored—before he slowly disconnected them to rest his forehead against hers, keeping the distance between their faces incredibly small. "And because you know exactly what I need when I don't even know," he murmured, eyes partially closed as he looked down at the couch between them.
