forum Pheasant Brook (O/O with Icarus!)

Started December 12, 2019 by @GoblinKing

tune

Wilhelm hastily wiped his eyes with the flat of his hand. Crying won’t do jack shit for him, Wil. Be a man and pull it together. Get over it. He clenched his jaw.

Connor caught the movement, and frowned a little bit. "Will? Yeh alright?" He asked softly.

“Yeah, Connor. I’m alright.” Wilhelm responded. He spoke quick, tilting his head upwards and praying his voice didn’t crack. “Thanks for asking, though.”

Connor nodded a little bit. "Alright." He said slowly, glancing back down at the album, then at Wilhelm, then away again.

“Sorry.” Wilhelm said softly, rubbing his eyes again. God, I’m being an ass, aren’t I? I just had to find a way to make this about me. “I just realize I shouldn’t have said some things.”

He looked at Wilhelm. "Yeh dinnae have nowt tae apologize for." he replied, accent thickening for just a moment. "So. Dinnae worry aboot 't."

“Sorry, sorry.” He mumbled, moving to take a seat on his bed. Wilhelm was wiping his eyes and blinking in quicker succession now, really trying his best to seem put-together.

"Wil. Stop apologizin'. Yer fine." he replied. He studied Wilhelm carefully, eyebrows drawing together.

Wilhelm opened his mouth to apologize again for apologizing, but he swallowed the lump in his throat and shut it. I must be pissing him off, aren’t I? He gave Connor a tight-lipped, forced flash of a smile.

Connor returned the smile gently, still watching Wilhelm. He wasn't pissed off, no, nothing anywhere near that. No, he was worried.

Wilhelm avoided Connor’s eyes, ducking his head. He ran his fingers through his curls, stopping about midway for a second. The boy flopped onto his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Connor watched Wilhelm for a moment longer, then went back to his album, though he kept an eye on Wilhelm.

“Connor?” Wilhelm’s voice came out in a croak, and he was painfully aware of it. “Do you think that I’m a bad person?”

Connor looked at Wilhelm again. He frowned a little. "No? Why on Earth would ah think tha'?" he asked slowly.

“I don’t know. Maybe you can just tell.” Wilhelm shrugged, still fighting to hold back tears. It was getting tiring at this point, though, and his face burned. “I’m not all I’m cracked up to be, I’ve realized.”

Connor frowned again, eyebrows drawing together. "Wilhelm, mil…" the Scottish word slipped out by accident, and he sighed.

“No, Connor, I’m serious! What have I done that makes me worth the ground I walk on? Fucking nothing.” Wilhelm insisted, feeling hot tears leak from his eyes. “Nothing. I didn’t do anything when I saw Heinrich’s body. I just fucking stood there. Like a coward.”

Connor closed the album, looking at Wilhelm. "Wil…there wasn't anythin' yeh could hae done." he replied, voice soft. "Alright? An' as fer tha'…nobody really does much by the time they're eighteen. Fuck, ah have nae done all tha' much either."

Wilhelm sat up, taking a shaky breath. He wanted to argue with Connor, prove that somehow, he was exactly what he was painting himself as. Wilhelm opened his mouth to counter Connor’s statement, but nothing came out but a quiet sob. He covered his mouth with a hand, trying to force himself into stopping.

Connor's eyes softened, and got up, going over to Wilhelm's bed and crouching so that his eyes were on level with Wilhelm's. "Hey. Hey, 's gonna be alright, Wil. Ah'm sorry." he murmured, reaching over to gently run a hand through Wilhelm's hair soothingly.

Wilhelm wiped his tears with his sleeve. Admittedly, he felt ridiculous and more than a little embarrassed, but the more he tried to stop the worse he felt. “Fuck, Co-nnor, why-y are you so nice to me?” He felt himself lean into Connor’s hand as he tried to catch his breath.

Connor hesitated a little at the question. "Because ah want ta be? Is there a reason ah should nae be?" he asked, cocking his head a little bit and looking at Wilhelm. He kept soothingly running his hand through Wilhelm's curls.

“I-“ Wilhelm took a breath again. “I don’t know, I don’t think so, it’s just- it feels so strange.” Wilhelm pressed the side of his fist against his forehead. He stumbled over his words, some of them becoming barely slurred. His tears had stopped, mainly caused by a sudden burst of emotion, but his breathing was still rickety.

Connor watched Wilhelm, stroking his hair. "Ah know."

He pressed his knuckles against his teeth. “I’m sorry.” Wilhelm was still leaning into Connor’s hand, practically melting.