(I'm alive once again! Got really busy in May, and didn't have any time for social stuff- let alone online social stuff aha)
Back and forth her thoughts waged war. She stood there, the world at a stop as she let her thoughts whiz in her mind. What was even happening? She couldn't make sense of the thoughts in her brain, so her body made the decision for her. Grabbing his arm, she held on tight before he could walk away.
"Wait," She called out, a little louder than needed. From there, she had no idea what else to say.
So she stood there awkwardly, not saying anything else, despite looking like she was going to.
He was shocked when he felt her grab onto him, and hold on tight. He heard her speak as he turned around to look at her.
His eyes had slightly widened as she looked at her, searching her eyes for something. Usually he would have just left and gone on with his day, no one usually asked him to stay.
"Why…?"
"I- I don't know… just don't go." She muttered, turning her gaze away out of embarrassment. This was so stupid- she just needed to let him go. They had no reason to know each other. This was not the time to play games, or with a person's emotions.
"I mean, you don't have to stay." She backtracked, trying to sound disinterested. "We do have class after all… probably should start heading there before we're late."
(Gasp-)
His gaze seemed to soften slightly as he watched her stumble over her words, stilling hold tight to his arm. He didn't have any intention of pulling away from her. He wanted to to hear what she was going to say as her reasoning.
"I don't exactly care much about class right now. You said don't go, so I won't go."
He spoke, a chill in his voice but it was just his normal monotone. He wasn't meaning to be cold.
"I have no clue why you would want me to stay though."
He was a bit confused on that part, seeing as he figured she hated him.
"I don't know either!" She replied rather exasperated. Savanna had no idea why she wanted him to stay- maybe out of guilt. Maybe she felt guilty having avoided him so long, that she needed to make up that time by not letting him leave. But that didn't make much sense.
So what had her so determined to keep him there? She didn't even want to talk to him five minutes ago.
"I don't know why I said that- you don't have to stay. I was just being stupid- so you can go." She mumbled, fidgeting with her rings, and swaying on her heels.
She was confused, and tired, and had no idea what she was trying to do. So she hoped he would decide to wander off, and save her from the embarrassment of asking to have stayed for no reason. But she didn't expect it to be that simple…
He exhaled softly, looking at her as she seemed to contradict herself with some of her responses.
If she wanted him to stay so badly earlier, why did she want him to leave now? Something didn't seem right. He moved to give her a pat pat on the head.
It definitely wasn't gonna be that simple to get rid of him.
"How about we just think about this for a moment, take a deep breath in and out first. Then tell me honestly if you want me to stay or go."
He spoke rather calmly, and his gaze didn't seem to harbor anything hostile.
Flinching a little at the head pat, she looked up at him confused.
"I don't know anymore. It's not like I control your life," Savanna mumbled, crossing her arms around her smaller waist. "And if I did, we'd probably be in a very different situation right now- don't ask what I mean about that." She quickly finished, looking at him with a sharp gaze before dropping it back to her shoes.
She wasn't intentionally avoiding the question— okay, she was totally avoiding the question— but she didn't know what she wanted anymore. The logical thing would be to tell him to just go. But the thing she wanted… well that she didn't even know.
He kept his hands to himself, sighing once more.
how come every time I touch her it does more harm then good? He ran a hand through his hair, seemingly not wearing his hat for once and just letting his hair frame his face.
It looked different then normal, almost…attractive.
He seemed to stare back at her, his eyes noticing how her gaze was piercing, though he only seemed to gaze down at her with not a bit of emotion. Just a blank stare.
"That's not what I asked. Just do what I said already, or can you not hear?"
"Of course I can hear." She retorted, before biting the inside of her cheek. Debating with herself quickly, she finally looked up at him with a seemingly decided face.
"Why do I have to decide?" She hummed, trying to ignore how much she had seemingly decided she wanted him to stay. "Am I all the sudden your master? My feelings shouldn't matter to you. I'm just some girl that walked into your life, and now is apparently driving you crazy. Considering you just picked her up, and carried her across the room."
Savanna was turning the decision on him, realizing that she wouldn't have to admit anything if he did it first. Why was he so interested in her anyway? Why did he care if she was alone and sad or not?
Now he had some explaining to do- or she could very easily point out how he was avoiding the questions she asked. Just like she was doing to his.
He seemed almost caught off guard at this change of pace, reeling back a bit when she started turning things towards him.
"You have to decide because your the one that litterally grabbed me and wouldn't let me leave! I'm not the one who's crazy about the other." He tched, seemingly a bit more on the defensive now. He crossed his arms in contentment, trying to act as if he didn't want to be there.
He didn't know why he was all of a sudden doing these things, he had never done them before for someone. He just- didn't like seeing her sad for whatever reason.
He just tched at her, "your avoiding the question!"
"So?" She hummed, managing to pull her fake self on for just long enough. Her eyes had a hint of… well, something. They weren't as dead as they had been, but still weren't as vibrant as usual.
"I feel like before I give an answer, you should explain why you're interested in me all of a sudden. I mean, you're stoic, and want nothing more than to "protect me", right?" She asked, posture straightening a little more. She seemed more like herself than she had in days- or at least the self he knew.
Adjusting herself, she kept a lose hand on her pocket, before taking a daring step closer to him. "Or are you too afraid to admit you've fallen for me?"
well it seems that look her eyes is slowly coming back..though is this really her i wonder?
He listened to her speak, scanning her body language as she moved around.
Then she made a step closer to him, and he tensed up.
no…no- no. I couldn't have- I didn't.
He just stared her down, covering the panic in his eyes over with aggression so she wouldn't notice anything amiss.
He scoffed as he looked away, trying to return to looking disinterested.
He had an idea of what he could say that would make her back off..but could he really say it? Did he have that ability to be cruel to someone he thought he cared about just the least bit.
He opened his mouth to say it, but he hesitated.
He seemed to torn on what to do as his mouth was left open.
He soon enough closed it, gritting his teeth.
"I just wanted to make sure you didn't off yourself." He spoke, trying to make his voice cold again as he crossed his arms.
"Oh, is that so?" Savanna smirked, having caught a glimpse of panic in his eyes. 'Gotcha.'
Mimicking his behavior, she didn't seem the least bit bothered by his statement. Which was mostly apart of the act.
"Well, if that's the case… I win." She hummed, taking the opportunity to turn on her heel, giving herself enough time to regain her composure a little. And also as an escape to his question. As she began to walk, she glanced over her shoulder long enough to see him, in hopes it would catch him off guard.
"You do care- because if you didn't, why would my "offing myself" effect you, huh?"
Her smirk grew slightly, as she continued to slowly walk away from him, giving him the time to come after her and argue his point on the matter. Now, if he didn't, she knew it would bring her senses to her, and she could finally walk away unattached. Either way, it was a win for her.
He knew he had said the wrong thing as soon as he saw that smirk on her face, dang it! Why couldn't he just muster up enough courage to just saw the first thing he had in mind? She was never going to believe him if he just said his cat was worried about her safety. It would just come off as him naming excuses.
He watched as she moved to walk off with that stupid smug grin on her face, she turned to watch her walk away only to see her turn around and saw that last bit.
had…had all of this been an act? Had she really only been acting so down in the dumps to try and win him over?
He followed her alright, moving to grab her and pin her to the wall. He glared her down, seemingly mad.
"So then what, has all of this been an act? Have you just been playing yourself down and depressed just so I would actually try and feel sympathy for you? Am I just a game to you?" He was almost on the verge of yelling at her, but she could almost see a little bit of hurt in his eyes, or hear it in his voice.
He was hoping she would tell him to stay, because he had wanted to stay…he wanted someone to want him so badly.
And she didn't admitt it.
He knew she wouldn't, for some reason he got his hopes up.
Trying to keep from being startled by him, she kept her face stoic. She let nothing show through on her face, trying to keep calm.
"No," Savanna replied simply, letting the word sink in a little. It wasn't an act, she truly had been going through a hard time. The funny thing was that the act was this. And no, she wasn't trying to play games with him. Not on purpose anyway. If that was how he saw it, that was how he saw it.
What she was doing, was not giving in. She was not going to be the first to cave. If anything, that was the game. If he wasn't going to cave, nor was she. She was headstrong, and very, very stubborn.
"You're not a game, and nor are your feelings." She added, trying not to let the hurt get to her. "But we're both headstrong people. And clearly you don't want to admit you've got a thing for me. If you won't do it, why should I admit to any such thing? And no, the act is what you think to know, sweetheart. You clearly also have an issue with fronting your real self— or at least your sensitive side. And as do I."
Her words were emotionless. The way her demeanor could change so quickly was rather frightening— it was like she was an actor, playing a hundred different characters, so easily switching from one to another.
Despite him being confused, he still didn't let her go from where he had her pinned against. He was trying to process everything that she said, although it felt like he had been analyzed so easily.
Like she basically read him like a children's book, was he that predictable?
He hadn't thought he was..but now, he was thinking entirely differently.
Why had he even bothered to stay?
He should have left when he had the chance..but he couldn't. He didn't want to leave her alone there.
"Any such thing she says, fine. You wanna hear me say it? I'll fricking say it." He glared at her, moving to let her go.
"I don't know why I could possibly care about you, but I do. I don't know what this stupid feeling is that makes me search for you because I haven't either felt something like this before. I don't reveal my sensitive side to people, because people are manipulative and cruel." He glared at her as he spoke, somehow he still felt hurt after all of this.
"Goodbye Savannah, you won." He moves to leave, since she wanted him to leave so badly earlier why not grant his wish.
He sighed, rubbing his face as he walked away.
Her face remained stoic, but her brain was panicking a little bit. She forgot about the part that he wouldn't stay, if she acted like that.
'I'm such an idiot!'
"I didn't win," She called out as he began to walk away. Savanna didn't move, just rather helplessly watched him walk away. This— having forgotten he wasn't like most people she's met— was something she knew she'd regret for a really, really long time.
But right now, the wound was fresh, and she wasn't about to go make it worse.
'Why is it every time you open your mouth, destruction follows?'
Letting out a heavy sigh, she managed to stand to her full height. With misery painted on her face, she began to walk off as the bell rang, hoping she could keep herself together long enough. Only a few hours before she could go scream into her pillows.
(Time skip or just go through the school day?)
(Okay, how far and where do we skip too?)
(It really doesn't matter to me- but whatever we do, I'm letting you know Savanna will have started dropping "anonymous" notes in his locker, on several occasions with apologies and such.)
(Lol oh? He's probably gonna pretend like he throws them away, only to just shove them somewhere. We could skip a few days maybe? Like she's been doing this for a while and he's been ignoring her)
(Alright, do you want me to start or do you want too?)
