(Kk)
“I am burned out, I smell of smoke, it seeps through her cracks and so I start to choke~”
I sang along to the music playing through my earbuds as I drew the brush over my canvas, before suddenly remembering I wasn’t alone. “Sorry,” I said quickly to Eden. “Am I being annoying?”
Eden’s POV:
I was lying back down on Violeta’s bed (I had taken over her roommate’s, though), lost in thought. I barely got any sleep the night before—I was too busy missing Sterling and craving the feel of him against me. Thankfully, Violeta interrupted those thoughts.
“No, it’s fine,” I said to her. “Do continue.”
But I was too embarrassed now, so I simply nodded and resumed my painting. I let my hands lead, engrossed once again in my music, and I didn’t realize until a few minutes later that I was painting Gray. What the hell? I asked myself, staring at the canvas before grabbing a paper towel and wiping off as much paint as I could. What was wrong with me?
“Do you need anything? I can get you some cocoa, if you want.”
Eden’s POV:
“I’m okay,” I replied, my voice hoarse. It was safe to say I couldn’t eat anything. It was stupid of me to cry uselessly like this, but I couldn’t help myself. I had stayed up hd night, crying over at Sterling. What was he doing right now? Was he okay? I wanted to hear his voice desperately—feel his lips press against mine, drowning away all of my pain and sorrows. “Thank you, though…”
What was wrong with me? I should get myself together and face this, so why was I running away? I wanted to see Sterling so badly, but my fear rooted me to the floor. Why was this happening to me? To us?
I took out my earphones, dropped the canvas unceremoniously on the floor, and came over to sit on the bed. “You’re clearly not okay,” I said gently, “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you?”
(Sterling misses you, too, Eden! 😭)
(Sterling misses you, too, Eden! 😭)
(😭😭)
Eden’s POV:
I chewed on my lower lip before forcing a smile on my features.
“I’ll be okay,” I said quietly. “You don’t have to worry.”
I paused before swallowing.
“Do you—do you think I should go?” I asked, forcing myself not to tear up. “I want to, but I’m afraid he’ll turn me away…”
I let out a soft exhale.
“Eden, he is not going to turn you away. He probably feels the exact same way you do right now. Do yourselves both a favour and talk to him before too much time passes and you can’t fix the situation.”
(Hopefully this wouldn’t be rushed. XD)
Eden’s POV:
She was right, of course. I needed to fix this before it was too late. I didn’t want to lose Sterling forever.
“You’re right…” I murmured, sitting up, letting my fingers run through my hair. “I—I’ll talk to him.”
“Don’t rush yourself, but don’t wait too long,” I counselled. “And do yourself another favour and eat something, for god’s sake.” I knew I wasn’t one to talk… but this was different.
Eden’s POV:
I let out a small laugh at that.
“I’ll try,” I said to her softly. I was glad Sterling made me socialize with her. Violeta was… comforting. “If anyone ever gives you a hard time… let me know. I’ll make sure they never even think about doing it again.”
Gray’s POV:
I missed Violeta, so I found an excuse to get her number from someone so I could text her. It wouldn’t be too creepy, would it? I hoped not.
GRAY: Hey, there~ It’s Gray. It might look creepy, but I promise I have no ill intentions. I promised you some desserts last time, didn’t I?
I let out a laugh of my own. “Thanks, Eden. I’m really glad we get along, you know?”
Almost on cue, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Frowning— was it Sterling?— I fished it out… and my face fell.
Gray.
Eden’s POV:
“I’m glad we do, too.”
Just then, she took out her phone, and upon looking at it, her face fell.
I chewed on my lower lip fearfully.
“Is it… Sterling?” I asked her, hope mixed in. A part of me wanted it to be him, asking if she knew where I was.
“No…” I murmured, unable to tear my eyes away. “Sorry.”
Eden’s POV:
I ignored the pangs of hurt and instead focused on Violeta.
“What is it?”
“Gray…” I murmured, suddenly realizing that he could see when I read his texts. Crap.
Eden’s POV:
I frowned.
“Does he… bother you?”
Gray’s POV:
She read my message but didn’t reply. Somehow that wasn’t surprising, but I had hoped it would have changed after our last encounter. I sighed.
“I— I don’t know anymore. It’s complcated. You’ve got bigger issues to focus on.” I swallowed and began to type a reply, but stopped halfway through.
Eden’s POV:
I reached out to squeeze her shoulder.
“It’s okay,” I said softly. “I want to do something other than sulk.”
Sterling's POV:
Eden hadn't been home for two days, and I could feel myself unraveling slowly. I hated that we were fighting, but I hated that she was gone most of all. It was my fault, too. If I had just dropped it when she asked me to, then we wouldn't be in this mess.
I missed the way her arms would wrap around me, how I could bend down to rest my chin on her head. I missed the smell of her hair, the feel of her hands in mine, the taste of her lips. Gosh dang it, I just missed my girlfriend!
I couldn't sleep without her, it seemed. At least, I hadn't been able to for the past two nights. I was sure there were dark bags under my eyes, but I hadn't bothered to look in the mirror lately. There was probably a good amount of scruff on my face, too.
I hoped she would come home soon. I didn't know how much longer I could survive without her.
(Sterling 😭)
(Aww.. Sterling…)
The touch was oddly comforting. I heaved a long sigh. “Basically… for a few years, there was a huge misunderstanding between us, which is why I didn’t.. like him very much. But I found out recently that his intentions had been good— and he’s being incredibly confusing. The sight of him used to make me want to throw up because I thought… I thought I knew how he viewed him. But now… it’s stupid. Nevermind.”
(Sterling 😭)
(You asked and so you received. 😉)
(Aww.. Sterling…)
The touch was oddly comforting. I heaved a long sigh. “Basically… for a few years, there was a huge misunderstanding between us, which is why I didn’t.. like him very much. But I found out recently that his intentions had been good— and he’s being incredibly confusing. The sight of him used to make me want to throw up because I thought… I thought I knew how he viewed him. But now… it’s stupid. Nevermind.”
Eden’s POV:
I hummed in understanding. My brother and best friend had gone through something similar. I thought for a moment before replying.
“So you’re confused,” I said quietly. “You don’t know what to do, because now that you know he didn’t have any bad intentions, whatever he does makes you feel confused. You constantly think whether he’s playing you, or if really being honest.”
I didn’t know whether I was saying this because I knew how it felt, or because I somewhat understand.