forum Let's summon demons (closed)

Started August 15, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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Sebastian was quiet for a moment, lips hovering above Bryn's neck.
"I think it's more of the fact you're the one saying it than the actual words." He smiled softly.

Bryn fiddled with Sebastian's hair, playing with the short strands on the back of his neck. "So? It doesn't mean they're any less effective. It's nice to be able to get you out of your head."

"Mm," Sebastian hummed in agreement, pressing into Bryn's hand sightly. He was much more relaxed now, and content.

Bryn smiled down at him, scratching gently at his scalp while he watched him human settle. Sebastian always seemed so grounded– so secure. It made the world feel a lot safer, knowing he had someone so capable watching his back. "How come you're so… settled?" he asked, the words out of his mouth before he really had time to think about them.

Sebastian was quiet again, thinking.
"A long time ago, I realized there were things I couldn't change. So, I stopped trying to change them, and focused on the things I could. I became more realistic in what I expected from life."

Bryn hummed, rolling the words over in his brain as he processed. "It's really that easy? Just… dropping everything that can't be changed and focusing on what can?"

"It's not easy," Sebastian corrected gently. "It takes a really long time. Even now I find myself wanting to change things I can't." Like being with you in public, as my boyfriend and not my slave.

Bryn frowned, but it wasn't like he could really get all that mad about it. Everything that changed your outlook took too much time. "How do you know you can't change them? Have you ever tried?"

"There are some things…" Sensual trailed off, then shook his head.
"Some things are too big." He fell silent again, remembering the first year after his mom died.

Bryn's frown deepened when Sebastian got quiet and he shuffled closer, grabbing Sebastian and tucking him up against his chest. "Okay, how can you tell if it's too big?"

Sebastian curled into Bryn's chest, taking a deep breath.
"You can't bring some one back from the dead," he said very quietly.

Bryn held Sebastian close, nodding along when he spoke. "You can't," he agreed. "But you can move on from their death. Did you figure out how to do that?"

"Mostly? I think?" Sebastian sighed, resting his head against Bryn.

Bryn kissed him gently, brushing their noses together the way Sebastian taught him. "Mostly's as much as any of us get. You never forget people all the way, not if they're important."

Sebastian nodded, not fully there. He was getting caught up in old memories again, and he didn't know where to smile or cry.

Bryn nuzzled his jaw for a seconds, watching as he slipped away without moving an inch. "Sebastian," he said, and his voice was so soft it almost slipped away into the aether and disappeared. "Sebastian, can you talk to me?"

"I…" Sebastian closed his mouth, shaking his head. He shuffled closer, closing his eyes.

Bryn tucked his head on top of Sebastian's. "That's okay. Can I ask you a couple questions? You don't have to talk, you can just nod or shake your head."

Sebastian hesitated, then nodded slowly. He could handle that.

Bryn managed a small smile, reaching up to pet Sebastian's hair gently. "That's great, thank you. Do you want me to keep holding you?"

Sebastian nodded. He really didn't want Bryn to let go- Bryn made him feel better, even if he was having a hard time talking.

"Okay, I'll keep this up then." Bryn kissed the top of his head. "Has something like this happened to you before?"

Sebastian paused, then shook his head. No, this was a first time thing.

"Alright." Bryn paused, hesitant to ask the next question. "This… um… this is about your momma, right?"

Sebastian nodded, face against Bryn's chest. Why was this happening? Why was he getting dragged back into these memories after all these years?