Bel leans forward to kiss Nico's soapy forehead. His nose scrunches with a smile as he returns back to sit upright. "The worst way to let me recover is to have me do nothing," Bel says carefully. He's been pent up for too long, been trapped within palace walls for too long, kept from learning what he wants for too long. "I'm not helpless, love, and I know you just want to protect me, but it won't be any good trying to guard me from every fly that comes my way."
He appreciates it, loving to be protected by Nico's strong arms. The safety that comes with waking up beside him. The reassurance that comes with each of their kisses–but Bel won't let that safety become yet another tether. "Let me help you. Let me take care of you."
Nico's lips pulled up into a small smile as he felt lips on his forehead. Be reached forward to okace his hands gently on Bel's waist, touching his side softly. His eyes fluttered opened, watching Bel with a soft expression. His smile dropped and he sighed as he looked down at the water. "I just want you safe," ge finally said, "I've failed you too many times. I just want to protect you."
He leaned forward to pressed their foreheads together. He pulled Bel a little bit closer to him. His brought his hand up to gently touch the sight of the injections. The barest of touches, barely even a whisper. "Okay," he finally said. It was hard for him to give the reigns to someone else but he woukd do it for Bel. He would try.
"You haven't failed," Bel says as he pours a cup of water over Nico's head. A small smile spreads from his lips at the sight of Nico's drooping hair, still slightly sudsy. "I'm alive and I'm okay. I'm here with you, in one piece and fully conscious." He pushes Nico's hair from his eyes as he goes to cup his face. "You have not failed. You saved me. You brought me here and got me the help I needed." After the affirmation, Bel leans in, kissing Nico gently. "I'm alive because of you, Nico."
The water is warm and Nico's touch is safe and Bel wants nothing more than to sit in here for hours with the man. "I love you," Bel whispers as he pulls away, eyes shut as he rests his forehead against Nico's.
Nico's eyes shut as Bel poured some water over his hair, trying to wash out the suds. As he opened his eyes back uo, they stung a little as some soap had gotten into them. It took him a few moments to blink away the pain. But the tears that prickled at his eyes weren't caused by the soap. At least not entirely. His lip wavered but he didn't cry. Not yet. He sighed softly as lips were pressed against his. He leaned forward as Bel pulled away, seeking out his touch just a little bit longer. "And you've almost died because of me. This never would have happened if I had been more vigilant."
His eyes shut as Bel leaned his forehead against Nico's. He exhaled, wrapping him up in his arms. "I love you too." All he wanted to do was protect Bel from harm. But perhaps he had a bit too much if a short leash. He needed to learn on lossening his control.
"That was nobody's fault but my own," Bel responds, still holding Nicos face. "I hid my symptoms and didn't tell you. Maybe if I didnt, it wouldn't have built up like it did." He holds Nico a little tighter so he doesn't have to acknowledge the shake of his hands. "Don't blame yourself for my mistake, love. Besides, it's in the past and I'm okay now. Stop beating yourself for my mistakes."
It's easy for Bel to place the blame on himself, easy for him to reassure and put himself down. It's nothing he's not used to. He's the quiet sibling, the easy one, the scapegoat. Blame isn't something foreign to him. He knows when something’s his fault.
Nico was shaking his head the moment that Bel was starting to speak. No, it was not his fault. Bel didn't choose to get sick. Bel hadn't realized that things were going to get so much worse. "No,no, no, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known this was going to happen. None of this is your fault. You are not to blame for this." He kissed him hard, trying to push the thoughts into him through his kiss.
He finally pulled away. "Come on, let's get to bed now." Nico wanted to wrap him in his arms and just lay down with him. He felt like as long as he was holding Bel in his arms everything was going to be alright.
Bel only stares deep into Nico's eyes as he speaks, only closing them when he leans in for a long, deep kiss. When they part, Bel rests his head on Nico's shoulder. "Then can we agree that it's nobody's fault?" He asks against Nico's pale skin. They could go on like this, trying to place the blame on themselves but Bel knows it would be fruitless. Better to end it now at mutual ground.
At the suggestion of leaving the bath, Bel almost doesn't want to oblige. It's warm, clean, and right up next to Nico. Howver, the bed will be the same and it won't cause them to prune. Still wrapped around Nico, Bel nods and reaches for the drain. He uncorks it, eyes fixed on the small whirlpool that drains the bath. "We don't have clothes," Bel notes upon remembering where all their inventory remains. Across the lavish bathroom atop jewel encrusted knobs have to be the most fancy, fluffy bathrobes he's ever seen. Those could work for a day lounging in the room. He doubts Loven would come to see them and Bel could always ask Sella to have their luggage transported up to their room as soon as they arrive. Or, perhaps a much simpler route–they could go into the town dressed in their dirty outfit from the day before and buy what they need.
Nico brushed Bel's hair back, sighing deeply and nodding his head. But he only agreed for the sake of the argument, not because he believed it. He would always blame himself for Bel's wellbeing whether it was his fault or not. He mustered a small smile as Bel commented on their lack of clothing. "I will happily sleep in the nude. I kind of prefer it. I can let the boys breathe." It was only partly a joke. He did like sleeping naked sometimes. Clothes were too much work to put on sometimes after a long day. Climbing into bed without clothes just felt nice.
"I'm sure we can ask tomorrow for a fresh pair of clothing while we wait on our own." There had to be a spare pair of clothing somewhere that could fit them. Or a seamstress on hand who coukd whip them both up a simple outfit while they waited on all of their clothing. Nico disentangled himself from Bel, standing and stepping out if the empty bath. He dries quickly and wrapped a towel around his waist before offering a hand to Bel to help him out. He grabbed the other towel and dried him off quickly before wrapping it around him.
Bel's nose wrinkles as he cringes at the statement before he dissolves into a small fit of laughter. It wasn't like Bel wasn't allowed to sleep naked, it just felt odd to do so when there was always the chance of Mathilde or another maid paying him an early morning visit with breakfast or coffee. He wouldn't risk being at fault for poor, old Mathilde going into cardiac arrest. "I'm not worried about tonight," he says when his laughing subsides. "Just what we'll have to do in the morning."
A small keen escapes him when Nico pulls away, though the separation is short lived and Bel quickly takes Nico's hand to pull him out of the tub. The air chills him, but it's quickly dissipated when nico wraps a towel around him. "Thank you," he hums. Behind Nico, Bel catches his reflection in the massive mirror. His hair is looking a little worse for wear. It's been a few months since he's changed it. "Mm, I think I'll comb out my locs tomorrow," he notes, reaching up to run his fingers through them. He smiles to Nico. "You'll get to see it when it's all curly."
Nico felt his heart warm at Bel's laughs. They were music to him. He coukd drunk on the sound alone. For a moment then, he had thought that he woukd never hear that sound again. He would spend the rest of his days trying to make Bel laugh so he never forgot that sound. "We can figure it out in the morning, love. I'm sure there's a bell somewhere we can used to call a maid and we can request a change of clothes."
Nico thoroughly dried off Bel, just as he always did. He didn't let one spot go undried. And when he was finally finished he wrapped that towel around Bel and tucked him into his chest. He didn't want to be apart from him. Not now. He couldn't even bare not touching him. He looked down at Bel and then across to see their reflection in the mirror. He saw a mess and then a beauty. And Bel certainly was not the mess. Nico's eyes were red and his cheeks were puffy from crying. His skin still hadn't regained all of its color. His hair was a bit of a mess down his back. He looked to Bel, offering a small smile. He had no knowledge on his hair type but he wanted to learn. "Can I help you?"
Bel grabs Nicos face and gently turns it to face him. He could see the scrutinizing glance in the other man's eyes at his own reflection. Nico's clearly a mess, but he's Bel's mess. He won't also any self deprivation as long as he's in the room. "I'd be happy to teach you." It'll take a few hours, but that's nothing compared to the time Treya wanted her butterfly locs out and had Bel do the entire process. It took a few days of tedious work, but Bel takes pride in the fact that his sister sought him out for the job.
Carefully, Bel grabs Nicos hand and leads them from the bathroom to the bedroom. He tries his best to pushall the fancy decorative pillows off with only one hand. "Bedtime," he announces surely. He might have been very asleep not too long ago, but almost dying takes lots out of a person. Bel needs all the sleep he could get. "I want you to take that tonic my sister made," Bel says when the sheets have been turned down. "Please, only a few drops. Nobody will attack us here in the palace. The pumas would reduce them to shreds if anyone tried to get close."
Nico looked down at Bel as his face was turned. He offered him a tight, small smile. He felt as terrible as he looked, perhaps even more so. His emotions were a mangled mess and he was so tired. He had been sleeping well for a couple weeks now. He was exhausted. He needed to sleep but he was terrified of the memories that awaited him. And the thought of Bel dying while he slept. He wouldn't risk that. He didn't want him to have another episode while Nico was dead to the world in bed.
He followed Bel into the bedroom, watching as he knocked all the pillows off the bed. He could have laughed if he wasn't feeling so down. He appreciated the mess the pillows made. Some imperfection was good for this too perfect room. He put his hand in his picket, feeling the vial. But he didn't take it out. "And what if something happens to you? I need to be ready to handle that."
"Love, you won't be incapacitated," Bel laughs softly at his concern, rubbing his thumb over the crease that forms between his brow. "You can be woken from the tonic, just not by yourself. Think of it as a potion for deep, dreamless sleep. If something is to dare happen to me while you sleep, I promise to wake you. It that okay?"
He turns to the bed, sitting on the edge before pulling Nico to sit with him. Bel leans back, his body parallel to the pillows. He looks up to Nico through his eyelashes. "It stresses me to know you aren't taking care of yourself. Let me help you and let the medicine do its work."
Nico was still frowning, even as Bel touched his face. He still didn't like it. He didn't like tonics, they left him feeling groggy and they never quite did their job. He didn't want to take this one and disappoint Bel or his sister that had made it for him. He sat down on the bed as Bel tugged at him and looked back as his prince fell against the covers. He placed his hand on Bel's heart, feeling it beat under his palm He was alive. He was fine. Everything was okay.
"You shouldn't have to help me," he said quietly. He was the king of his people. They relied on him. He couldn't afford to waver or rely on anyone else for anything emotional. He had to be able to handle it. He needed to be able to carry the burden.
Bel places his hand atop of Nico's, squeezing it gently from where it rests over his heart. He gives the other man a sad look, a sad smile. "Why shouldn't I be able to help you? You've helped me and now it's my turn." Nico, despite what he may believe isn't immortal. He's not above sleep, care, or love. He may have been raised to be a king but that doesn't make him less of a human. "Please let me help you. I want to and it pains me to watch you suffer for no reason." Don't be a martyr, he wants to scream.
The man repositions himself on the bed so he's finally resting his head on the pillow. It takes mere seconds for him to slip beneath the blankets, patting the empty side of the bed for Nico to join him.
Nico watches Bel for a long moment. There was too much going on in his head. Too much conflict. How coukd he be expected to lead if he couldn't even take care of himself? But it would feel so nice to not have to worry for once in his life. He moved under the covers where Bel had patted for him to join. He did not keep his discomfort off his face as he moved on the soft bed and even softer sheets. This was not what he was used to at all.
The bed was also much too large. It could fit at least three more Nico's on it. Who ever had need of a bed this large? He didn't understand. It was okay to have nice things but this felt too extravagant. He didn't think he would be bake ti get comfortable on the bed at all.
As soon as Nicos next to him, Bel wraps his arms around his chest and pulls him close. The bed doesn't feel as daunting with Nico right up next to him. Bel's own room in Araniel is also fit with a massive bed, but it's only built for one instead of two. He can't say he misses all the empty space on either side of him. "Nico," He says gently. "Nobody wants a king who tears himself apart because he's too prideful for help."
He finds the vial resting beside Nico and brings it up to eye level. "Willyou at least try it? Just three drops for three hours and I swear to you that il wake you if anything is to possibly go wrong. If I even feel a tickle in my throat or a voice too loud outside our door, I will wake you."
Nico folded Bel against his chest, relaxing as rhe prince was in his arms. This was home to him. No matter where he was, no matter what was happening, as long as Bel was in his arms he was home. He slid his hands up and down his back, caressing the skin. He sighed dramatically. He knew Bel was right but he didn't like admitting it.
"Okay," he gave in. Just to make Bel happy is what he told himself. "But we go to sleep together." He didn't want Bel to be awake while Nico slept. Given that this tonic miraculously worked for him.
Bel smiles, thanking whatever gods were listening that Nico allowed himself to be taken care of. "Thank you," he says, squeezing Nico a little tighter around the middle. He hands Nico the vial, but takes it upon himself to unscrew the dropper embedded into the lid. He let's it drip until only a few drops are left inside. "Of course," he replies. "I miss when we were able to sleep together." He pauses when he realizes the implications of his words. "I mean in the literal sense." Bel also wont turn down aome good sex, but they're both a little too tired for that. Maybe later.
"Open your mouth love," Bel instructs gently, sitting up on his elbow to sit slightly above Nico. "You'll feel drowsy as soon as it kicks in and then after a few minutes, you'll be fast asleep with no dreams. An hour a drop. How many do you want?"
Nico's shoulders shook in a quiet laughter at Bel's implications. His mind hadn't thought that until Bel had corrected himself. He couldn't help but lean down to kiss him quickly for it. "I know what you mean," he murmured. He didnt have plans to have sex with Bel for a while. Not until he was sure that Bek was 100% okay. He wasn't going to risk a flare uo just because he wanted to get laid. With one hand, he still stroked Bel's side. The other, he held the vial that he was giving serious looks of doubt to.
He tilted his head up as Bel hovered iver him. He looked at the droper like a small child woukd to the medicine they didn't want to take. His displeasure couldn't be anymore obvious. He woukd like to take none but he didn't want to disappoint Bel. All he said was the original three that Bel had asked of him, "three."
Bel could almost laugh at Nico's look. Childish, almost. It's sweet, almost endearing but Bel will have none of it. It's his turn to take care of Nico, goddamn it. If the tonic somehow doesn't work, Bel will find anything he can to ensure Nico a good night's rest.It took months for him to recover last time, but last time there was no Bel and his nightmares didn't have to face his determination.
"Three," Bel repeats to himself, reaching forward to carefully tip his chin up. "Dont fight it. Let it help you." Bel looks at the dark blue drought, then to Nico, nodding to him as he carefully drips three drops into his mouth. He takes the bottle from Nico, screwing the lid on before reaching over the other man to set it on the nightstand. He quickly blows out two of the three candles, leaving one Stull flickering to ward the shadows away. "Goodnight, my love." He whispers, placing a kiss on the crown of Nico's head
Nico dug his fingers into Bel's hips. He would never admit out loud that he was nervous but he was. He was scared the tonic wouldn't work after getting his hopes up. And he was scared that it would work. He was scared that it would work so well he wouldn't wake if anything happened. But this was what Bel wanted. And he wanted to make Bel happy.
He tipped his chin up, opening his lips begrudgingly. He tried to remain indifferent but he couldn't keep the grumpy look off of his face. He swallowed the drops and watched as Bel blew out the candles, all but one, and snuggled back into Nico. He pulled Bel into his chest as there was no other place he would let him sleep. Everynight he curled around Bek and this was no different. He shut his eyes and let the darkness take him.
The warmth around hum is comfortable and the bed is the best one he's slept in in a long time. Bel sighs, tucking his head below Nico's chin as he closes his eyes and let's sleep overtake him. It doesn't take long, unconsciousness quickly pulled his taxed mind under the veil of sleep. His last thought before he's asleep is a prayer, hoping to the gods that he won't awake to Nico panicking and flailing with nightmares. He could almost get on his knees and plead. He's been through so much. Let him have this peace and I can have mine.
And with that final thought, Bel relaxes and falls fast asleep.
This was the first time a tonic had ever truly worked for him. Nico stayed fully asleep for those three hours. He had no dream, good or bad. Only once those three hours were up, did the nightmares set in. He was paralyzed with fear as he found himself watching Bel dying. He was choking on blood, seizing on the floor. Something was holding Nico back from getting to him. He pushed and pushed but he could never get to him. He was forced to watch as bel died, drowning in his own blood.
His eyes flew open and he was breathing heavily. He carefully peeled himself from Bel so he didn't risk waking him. His bare feet padded against the floor. He grabbed a spare blanket and wrapped it around his shoulders as he walked to the balcony. He slipped through the doors and clicked it shut behind him. He took a seat on a chair and just looked up at the stars, fighting back tears.
Bel, still recovering from his injury, doesn't stir when Nico startles and rises. His breath hitches slightly at the loss of warmth, but he doesn't wake, only curls in a little further on himself. When Nico exits through the balcony, wrapped tightly in a blanket, the sun barely hovers over the horizon, signaling the early morning.
"Who are you?" A young voice asks. Perched on the shingles above the balcony is a child, no older than nine. He wears a cardboard crown over his curls, his dark skin almost glowing in the early dawn. He has scratches all over his knees and elbows, his clothes practically pajamas. "I'm Arlo."
